Attempted first love

The last time Xia Yan got drunk was the night when the finale exhibit of Mirage Art Museum was accused of plagiarism.

Occasionally, when I think back to that day, it’s like a frame-scratched picture, I have experienced every scene, but there is a kind of absurd illusion, like watching a play.

It is indeed watching a play.

As the instigator, Shen Qi was picked up by his family from the very beginning. Before he left, he told Xia Yan swearingly: "It's okay, I can settle it, just wait for me."

From the exposure of the incident to the ferment of public opinion, everything was so fast that it was too late to make a plan. The flashlight and the microphone had all arrived in front of the eyes. The sound of the shutter opening and closing was like an overwhelming sarcasm. Xia Yan was the only clown on the stage.

Can you explain it?I heard that you have been working together for a long time, did you already know about it?Can the museum still open as scheduled?

……

For the first time in his career, Xia Yan felt hesitant when the reporter threw one question after another.

The security personnel of the art museum arrived late and cleared all the reporters out of the exhibition hall.That night, Xia Yan swept away all the alcohol on the shelves of the convenience store, nestled alone in the metal frame behind the display board, and opened one bottle after another in the dark.

Later, Ji Qilin didn't know how to find him, stood outside the frame, and said helplessly, "Come out first."

Xia Yan didn't move, Ji Qilin said again: "Come out, I'll drink with you. What's the point of drinking alone?"

"You are three high, you can't drink." Xia Yan said drunkenly.

Ji Qilin was laughed at by him, and went to buy a bag of juice aggressively and came back, turned on the flashlight to illuminate himself, "Can you come out, or do you want me to get in too?"

In the early hours of the morning, the two sat on the ground under a street lamp. The art museum was almost eerily quiet, except for the slight sound of flying insects hitting the light.Xia Yan drank in silence, and only after the three rounds had passed did he confess his sincerity: "It's all my fault."

In saying so, he took the screwed-up exhibition, the ruined results, and even the motives of the plagiarists into his own hands.

Ji Qilin just listened, heard him say that he was sorry for the team members' hard work, heard him say that Shen Qi went the wrong way because of him, heard him say that the reporter was injured when he was thrown out, all kinds of things, and finally said: "I probably really don't Fit for the job."

"Your parents said so before," Ji Qilin said, "but I think it's suitable."

"Where does it fit?"

"You know better than me."

Ji Qilin is used to being a teacher, he only explains the central idea in the lectures, and needs to comprehend the rest by himself.After saying these words, it seemed that his patience was finally exhausted, he kicked Xia Yan's calf, and scolded him for being so fond of taking responsibility, so don't even think about letting him down, wake up and work quickly.

It was still dark when we got home, Xia Yan was sitting on the balcony, and took another drink out of the bag, only to find that the rest of the wine had been turned into fruit juice by Ji Qilin.

You know better than me.He unscrewed a bottle of hawthorn juice, chewing the pulp and this sentence at the same time, thinking, what should I know.

After that night, Xia Yan mentioned it to Ji Qilin many times one after another, telling him bluntly "I want to escape for a while" and "I want to think about it".

Ji Qilin hated iron for being weak, and when he heard him being kicked once, he finally let him go, "Don't give up so easily, try again."

After receiving a call from Ji Qilin and learning that there was a new candidate for the exhibition, Xia Yan sat on the plane flying back to Haicheng, thinking of trying again, trying again, and resigning immediately if it is really not suitable.

The word "try" is magical and full of uncertainty, like casual prevarication and desperate game, giving people hope and fear at the same time.

But now, when Xia Yan heard Lu Zhouyu say "Then let's try", his first reaction was that he was dreaming.Like the last time when I woke up from a hangover, the matter was really as Shen Qi said, and it was "settled" without leaving any traces.

Looking at the big dog circling around his legs and the wrist being held, Xia Yan said, "I don't believe it."

After listening to it, Lu Zhouyu seemed to be laughing, and exhaled a burst of breath, which made Xia Yan's temples itch, and asked, "Why don't you believe it?"

"You said it before," Xia Yan looked up at him, "No, don't try."

"When did I say that?" Lu Zhouyu asked frankly, sounding very righteous. Xia Yan thought for a while, and obviously felt that the words of being rejected were engraved in his mind, and he would pop up to automatically broadcast from time to time, but he couldn't find relevant information. fragment.

"Anyway, I did," he said vaguely.

"It's unreasonable to be drunk." Lu Zhouyu squeezed his wrist bones, and didn't dwell on this question any more, and asked, "Then how can you believe it?"

Xia Yan couldn't answer, and looked at him without saying a word. He struggled twice with his wrist, but he couldn't get away from Lu Zhouyu's palm, but he felt his skin was pinched by a hard object.

After a while, he realized that it was the lighter, and he began to negotiate: "You return the lighter to me first."

"Yes." Lu Zhouyu let go of his hand, and pinched Xia Yan's fingertips with the other hand, flattened his palm upwards, and put the lighter in his palm, "Do you believe it now?"

"A little bit." Xia Yan nodded, curled up his palms and placed them by his side, "but I want to sleep now, if you're still there when I wake up, I'll believe it's true."

"Can you?" Seeing that Lu Zhouyu didn't speak, Xia Yan stretched out his hand, trying to pull his cuff, but in the end he didn't move.

A few seconds later, Lu Zhouyu said, "Yes."

Xia Yan passed him, staggered back to the bedroom, did not lock the door, and lay on his side facing the door and closing his clothes.The last picture before closing his eyes was Lu Zhouyu standing in the living room.

So much like a dream.

When I opened my eyes again, my brain was much clearer, and I no longer had the feeling of spinning around with the slightest movement.The sky was dark, it was already evening, Xia Yan turned on the ceiling light in the room, and suddenly recalled a few sporadic pictures and conversations, and was stunned for a while.

After connecting the fragmented scenes in his mind, he suddenly propped himself up with his hands, only to find that the bedroom door was closed tightly and no sound could be heard.

Like every evening when I wake up after a nap at home alone, the room is empty, the sky is gray, and occasionally there is a gorgeous sunset, but it is fleeting, and the sense of loneliness is infinitely magnified at that moment.

Sitting quietly for a while, the hands propped on the mattress felt a little swollen and painful. Xia Yan rubbed his palms, only to realize that he had been holding a lighter tightly, and the outlines of his palms were flushed red.

It is very likely that I came home drunk, rummaged for the lighter I forgot to bring, and fell asleep until now.

This recognition made Xia Yan instantly depressed, but disappointment is a normal part of life, so after getting a good mood and pushing out the door, Kitty didn't lie at the door like usual.

Turning around in the living room, Xia Yan opened the can and kept calling: "Kitty?" After looking for the corners where dogs often hide, he started to panic, grabbed the key and opened the door, the corridor was also empty, Xia Yan Yan's first reaction was to go to the property to get the monitoring. At the same time, recalling the time when he got home, he guessed that the door was not locked after returning home, which caused the dog to run away.

The elevator was surprisingly slow, Xia Yan was almost overwhelmed by guilt and anxiety, his heart, liver, spleen and lungs were all suspended. 1 minute is like a century, the elevator finally arrives, and before the door is opened, a burst of joyful dog barking is heard first.

"Kitty?" Xia Yan called out uncertainly, his voice hoarse and trembling.

"Wang!"

The elevator door opened, the big dog sped towards him, and when it crashed into his arms, it was pulled backwards, and finally stuck to Xia Yan's leg with very little force, constantly sticking out its tongue and rubbing against him.

Holding the rope in one hand, Lu Zhouyu walked out of the elevator and asked, "Are you up?"

Xia Yan's long-hanging heart just let go, and it suddenly tightened because of his approach. He paused for a moment while stroking Kitty's hand, "Well, you're still there..." He stood up and asked, "Walking the dog?"

Lu Zhouyu said yes, and raised his other hand, which was a plastic bag from a convenience store, "By the way, I bought dinner."

Not quite sure what he meant, Xia Yan said "oh", took the leash from him, turned around and reopened the door, and asked tentatively, "Come in and eat together?"

Lu Zhouyu carried the bag, walked in side by side with Kitty, put the food on the dining table calmly, went to wash his hands, and asked when he came out, "Are you sober?"

Xia Yan was originally dismantling a rice ball, but when he heard the words, he recalled those scenes that seemed real and fake, so he didn't want to meet his eyes, so he lowered his head and said, "Wake up."

Lu Zhouyu sat down beside him and said nothing, but Xia Yan could feel his gaze resting on her.

"Aren't you going to eat?" He tried to change the subject.

"Not too hungry, you can eat." Lu Zhouyu replied.

Uncomfortable being watched, Xia Yan put the rice ball back into the bag calmly, turned sideways and took another bowl of instant porridge, trying to avoid his gaze, but Lu Zhouyu asked, "What's wrong?"

"I won't tear apart this kind of rice ball," Xia Yan said, "It's better to have porridge."

Open the box cover, the aroma of preserved egg and lean meat porridge is overflowing, even if it is a fast food, it will make your index finger move.

It seems that he didn't eat anything in the restaurant, Xia Yan tried hard to recall, so that when Lu Zhouyu handed him the completely peeled rice ball, he directly landed on Lu Zhouyu's hand, lowered his head and bit off the tip of the triangular rice ball.

"..."

Almost choked, Xia Yan quickly stepped back: "I..."

"What stuffing?" Lu Zhouyu asked while holding up a rice ball.

The first bite was only rice and seaweed, he shook his head, and the rice ball was passed to his lips again, "Take another bite."

"No... I'll do it myself." Xia Yan put down the soup spoon, held the rice ball with both hands, briefly touched Lu Zhouyu's fingertips, took it out of his hand with a little force, ate it in two or three, and said: " Meat floss and egg yolk."

Lu Zhouyu was noncommittal, and raised his hand to wipe the seaweed off the corner of his mouth with his knuckles. The movement was light and quick, and then he asked, "Do you still eat?"

"No." Xia Yan said hastily.

For a while, the two sat side by side at the dining table, neither of them talking.The atmosphere seemed to be becoming stiff, Xia Yan put away the removed wrapping papers one by one, and said casually: "Is it annoying when I'm drunk? Last time when I was drunk, Teacher Ji kicked me angrily, and my legs Green."

"You don't even remember?" Lu Zhouyu took the garbage bag from his hand and threw it on the corner of the table casually, leaning slightly with a serious expression on his face.After getting closer, Xia Yan noticed that his neckline was a little wet. He didn't know whether it was from washing his face or from the rain.

"Remember some." Xia Yan said while staring at a small piece of wet cloth.

Without waiting for him to organize his words, Lu Zhouyu said directly: "Let's try, remember this?"

Xia Yan raised his head and met his gaze, which was deeper and fuller than ever before, as if a fluid as clear as water was continuously pouring out.

I flow to you and you flow to me.

"remember."

Xia Yan couldn't deny it, from the moment Lu Zhouyu got out of the elevator, he knew it wasn't a dream.But perhaps it was the fact that the request was so easily satisfied in a drunk, which made him feel unreal, so he asked again: "How do you want to try?"

"How to try?" Lu Zhouyu repeated the question, and suddenly smiled at him.

When you are too familiar with a person, you will ignore his appearance, just like you are familiar with yourself.But at such a close distance, Xia Yan once again traced Lu Zhouyu's facial features with his eyes, eyebrows, eyes, bridge of nose, and finally landed on his lips.

"It's all right." It said.

It's okay, any adult can do it.

Xia Yan remembered what he had said, and his ears felt hot.

"If it's all right," he swallowed in vain, and asked, "Can I kiss you?"