Attempted first love

The back door of the exhibition hall is facing a lawn, and there is a row of stone roads in the middle of the half-green and half-yellow grass, which are clear and bright after being washed by the rain.

Lu Zhouyu and Xia Yan stepped on it one after the other.

Halfway through, Lu Zhouyu noticed that the footsteps behind him became heavier and dragged, as if they were stepping on muddy soil, and they were about to sink in the next second.When the footsteps stopped completely, he turned around and looked back.

Xia Yan stood still outside the two stone slabs, wearing a loose white sweater, with his hands in his pockets, his shoulders slumped, and his brows were slightly frowned.

Like a passive checkers, unwilling to go one step further.

"What's wrong?" Lu Zhouyu asked.

"I forgot your lighter." Xia Yan said, as if to increase his credibility, he added, "I changed clothes temporarily today, and left it behind too quickly."

After speaking, he took his hands out of his pockets and grabbed a hand full of odds and ends, such as mobile phones, earphones, tickets, tissues, and even a red cigarette case.

Lu Zhouyu recognized the box of red flag canal. Xia Yan took it out that night in the family courtyard, "Haven't you finished?" He asked.

"Don't you know, I don't smoke too much." Xia Yan stuffed the other things in his pockets one by one, the fabric in front of his stomach raised a rough arc, and the earphone cables accidentally fell apart, and one fell out, hanging in the air , dangling around.

He didn't care about it, leaving only the cigarette case in his hand. He lifted the lid of the box up with his thumb, and showed it to Lu Zhouyu, and the remaining half was neatly stacked.

Lu Zhouyu glanced at it and asked, "Why do you carry it with you if you don't smoke?"

"Because I've always carried a lighter with me before, I always feel that there is one thing I can't miss." After Xia Yan finished speaking, he seemed to smile helplessly, "But it's been so long, and I haven't smoked it once, so I forgot to bring it today."

Originally, smoking was just an excuse to leave the exhibition hall. Although Lu Zhouyu would not feel sad when he heard Zhou Man's favorite song, he also didn't want to be unable to avoid her when the two were getting along.

Sometimes he even felt that it was like an inextricable curse - Zhou Man's suicide attempt and complete death corresponded to Lu Zhouyu and Xia Yan's two encounters and farewells.

Hearing the regret in his tone, Lu Zhouyu also smiled and said, "Then I won't smoke."

"I'm sorry." Xia Yan closed the cigarette case.

"There's no need to apologize, it's just a lighter."

"Really." Xia Yan took a long look at him, then lowered his head, put the cigarette case back in his pocket, and picked up the fallen headphone cable, "Then do you still want it?"

Lu Zhouyu recalled that the lighter was a gift from the hotel when he first returned to Haicheng. It was a cheap plastic model with advertisements and phone numbers printed on it, and it was worthless.

Until a week ago, in the tool room of the art museum, Xia Yan said to Lu Zhouyu, "Let's try", and took the lighter away, saying that he would bring the answer in exchange.

Perhaps it was Xia Yan's frivolous tone and demeanor that made Lu Zhouyu think that he was just acting on a whim, but at this moment he felt that Xia Yan seemed to be asking for an answer rather than a lighter.

Lu Zhouyu didn't have the correct answer, and he didn't know whether Xia Yan still wanted the same answer after a week.

Xia Yan lowered his head, patiently untied the knotted headphone cable, and wound it around his two fingers again and again, his movements methodical.

Lu Zhouyu could only see the lower half of his face, with fair skin, red lips, and hair fluttering in the wind.

For a moment, he wanted to ask, "Do you still want to try?"

I also want to ask all the questions that I didn’t have time to ask that day——

try what?How long do you want to try?Why try?

But his throat seemed to be clenched, and he couldn't make a sound, and he was silent for a long time before he said "um".

After tidying up the earphones, Xia Yan stuffed them back into his pocket, tucked the loose hair behind his ears, and said, "Okay, I will return it to you."

Probably because of the bad weather, there were no people in the park, and the tickets for this exhibition were hard to come by. Except for the two of them, no one should waste time like this.

"I'll give you this pack of cigarettes." Xia Yan said suddenly, then took out the red flag canal from his pocket, raised his hand and threw it to Lu Zhouyu, "I don't smoke, it's too wasteful to keep it."

Lu Zhouyu raised his hand to take it, and then opened the lid to see that there were only five cigarettes left. He remembered that there were seven cigarettes in the family courtyard that night, but he didn't expose Xia Yan, but asked, "Didn't you pay back for this pack of cigarettes?" If you are a favor, just give it to me like this?"

Standing outside the two stone bricks, Xia Yan raised his chin and said casually: "Well, I'll see you off." As if he was about to wave away in the next second, Lu Zhouyu called out to stop him.

"Thank you," he said.

"You're welcome," Xia Yan said, "You gave me the first red flag canal."

As if recalling something, he smiled and said, "At that time, I felt ashamed so I didn't say it. In fact, it was the first time I smoked."

Lu Zhouyu remembered his jerky appearance at that time, and also smiled: "I guessed it."

"Really? I thought it was well concealed." Shaking his head, Xia Yan teased himself: "It turns out that I have lost someone for so many years."

"It's not a good thing to be able to smoke." Lu Zhouyu packed the cigarette case.

"Not bad either."

Not bad where?You don't like the smell of smoke, but also feel bitter.

Originally, he wanted to ask this question, but in the next second, Xia Yan's phone vibrated, he glanced down, and connected quickly with no expression, as if avoiding the topic.

"Hello, hello."

The other end of the phone didn't know what they were talking about, almost instantly, Xia Yan frowned slightly, "Why is it you again?"

Thinking of the phone call he hung up not long ago, and the text messages one after another, Lu Zhouyu guessed that this call was made by Shen Qi changing his number.

Sure enough, Xia Yan said again: "Shen Qi, you're so boring." Holding the phone, he tilted his head to look at Lu Zhouyu, and quickly moved away, "What does it matter to you who I'm with?"

The voice on the phone suddenly became intense, pierced through the phone, and echoed in the air, like the sound of broken porcelain.

After the sound passed, there was another vague, intermittent sobbing. Xia Yan sighed silently, rubbed his brow with the other hand, and said in harmony to the phone: "I never said I would not cooperate with you."

"But not now, you go out to study obediently first."

"This month? What date? Well... I will go."

"Do not lie to you."

……

Xia Yan's voice became lower and lower, from aggressive at the beginning, it finally became peaceful, and he didn't even know what he heard, so he smiled slightly.

Seemingly tired from standing for a long time, he gestured to Lu Zhouyu to go indoors.Lu Zhouyu followed him back the same way, and had no intention of eavesdropping on his phone call, so he fell behind a few steps, but still heard Xia Yan explain a lot to Shen Qi.

Walking back to the bench in the hall, Shen Qi seemed to make some request, Xia Yan said: "Yes," and then said: "But you have to make sure you have something to do before contacting."

After hanging up the phone, Xia Yan lowered his head and operated on the phone, probably releasing Shen Qi from the blacklist.

Lu Zhouyu accidentally scanned the screen and saw a series of jumping cartoon expressions in the dialog box, while Xia Yan was typing.

After thinking about it, he asked, "Is he chasing you?"

"Huh?" Xia Yan asked suspiciously, "Who?"

Lu Zhouyu didn't speak, Xia Yan reacted sluggishly, and pointed to the phone, "You mean Shen Qi?"

"Isn't it?"

"No," Xia Yan immediately denied, and added: "He's still very young."

"Young age and chasing people are not contradictory." Lu Zhouyu said.

"You..." Xia Yan opened his mouth and said, "That's right."

After replying to the message, he put the phone upside down on his lap, flicked the mute button on the side with his fingertips, turned it on, turned it off, and turned it on again, like an unconscious action, so Lu Zhouyu heard the occasional WeChat notification tone.

Shen Qi obviously didn't abide by the agreement of "we'll get in touch again when we have business to do" and reverted to his old ways, but Xia Yan didn't seem to care either.

For some reason, Lu Zhouyu reminded him: "When you are young, chasing people will only be soft and hard."

Turning the phone to silent, Xia Yan seems to be refuting or making a simple statement: "I have cooperated with Shen Qi for many years. He is young and occasionally has a bad temper. Maybe I am more...tolerate him, he is just a little dependent. I."

There should be more than one point. Lu Zhouyu feels that Xia Yan's self-evaluation is biased. His tolerance cannot be used at the comparative level, but at the highest level. It is so tolerant that it can even be called indulgence.

Shen Qi probably had an insight into this point a long time ago, so he dared to test again and again.

"It's not soft and hard." Xia Yan concluded.

"Ah."

"It's not counting as chasing, and I didn't promise him."

Lu Zhouyu looked at him and said, "Yes."

After a while, Xia Yan suddenly called Lu Zhouyu's name, turned half of his face slightly, and asked in a joking tone: "Isn't it annoying if you chase people until you stalk them?"

Lu Zhouyu looked at him for a while, and asked, "Why do you ask that?"

"Just asking," Xia Yan repeated his theory that "chasing people at a young age will only be soft and hard." After hesitating for a while, he said, "You seem to have a lot of experience in being chased."

It is a fact that people are often chased, but perhaps because the art circle is more open, rather than chasing, there are more temptations full of hints.

A cigarette, a kiss, and a word can ferment a hearty, simple and efficient sex.

Lu Zhouyu has met many times on different occasions, and many people have said "try" to him, either jerky or sophisticated, but the purpose is obvious.

He is not disgusted, but he has no interest either. Friends who are close to him often joke about it, saying that he will remain a virgin for the art career.

Of course, it wasn't without moments of faltering.

The sky outside the window seemed to be overcast in an instant, and a rain was brewing.Gorgeous crystal chandeliers cast sparkling light and shadows, filling the entire exhibition hall like flowing water.

The two sat side by side with their backs to the light source, but they couldn't see each other clearly.

Lu Zhouyu thought of the opening day of the Mirage Art Museum, in the small tool room, Xia Yan, who had been yelling a second ago, suddenly said "try" to him with an indifferent attitude.

Say it twice.

Compared with the unbelievable and divided feeling at that moment, the looseness in his heart was even more difficult for Lu Zhouyu to ignore.

The cello concerto finally stopped, and changed to a flute-like piece of music, the sound line was as thin as silk, piercing the thick silence.

"Why don't you talk?" Xia Yan asked, and smiled again, "It's really annoying."

Lu Zhouyu usually doesn't give people the chance to stalk people, so he can't make a fair judgment, but he clearly knows that if Xia Yan said "try" for the third time that day, he would agree.

Even if Xia Yan was just on a whim.