Attempted first love

Blood eventually dripped all over the floor.

Lu Zhouyu began to learn painting from Zhou Man when he was five years old, but it was not enough. Zhou Man gave him a box of paints and an empty drawing board, so he stopped restraining him and sat by the side playing the piano.

"Baby, what color do you think this sound is?" She closed her eyes lightly, immersed in the sound of the piano.

Scanning the colorful colors in the paint box, Lu Zhouyu replied, "Red."

"Then we'll paint red."

It was Lu Zhouyu's first time to use paint, which was over-diluted. Those reds with different shades and saturation were like rivers, rushing on the drawing board, and dripping to the ground under the action of gravity.

When he realized it, a red ribbon-like moat had already formed on the floor, separating him from Zhou Man.

Zhou Man smiled at him, and was not in a hurry to clean the floor, but said, "Does it look like there's blood all over the floor?"

When Lu Zhouyu received the call and rushed back to Haicheng from the mountain, Zhou Man had already been admitted to the intensive care unit due to a suicide attempt and was not allowed to visit.

After returning home, the blood stains on the floor of the living room had not been cleaned up. Lu Zhouyu lay on the ground, wiped it bit by bit, and accidentally kicked over the bucket.

At the same time, he felt that something alive was peeling off from his body petal by petal.

A little pain, but also accompanied by a sense of guilt.

And the time on the mountain, that kiss, the first heartbeat, they were a hazy warmth and loneliness*, Lu Zhouyu never forgot, but never recalled.

In the winter of the third year after being diagnosed as a vegetative state, Zhou Man calmly walked towards his death. Lu Zhouyu changed planes from the north where the school was located, and returned to Haicheng to attend the funeral.

He never thought that he would meet Xia Yan again, after three years of separation.

After the funeral, just received the news of the high school class reunion. After Lu Zhouyu went to college, he seldom returned to Haicheng, and he no longer participated in the class reunion, so there was a thousand ripples when he attended.

Everyone clamored to punish him for drinking, and he also laughed and poured one cup after another into his stomach.

The process of the class reunion was lacklustre, two dozens of beers were finished, and the game of kings that had remained unchanged for thousands of years began again.

Because a classmate left early, there happened to be one less player in the game. Lu Zhouyu drank a lot, and because of the funeral, he was sleepy and dizzy. Just when he was about to voluntarily quit, a voice came from behind.

"Add me if you don't mind." The owner of the voice patted his shoulder with one hand, "I know him."

The squad leader's eyes lit up, and while blaming Lu Zhouyu for "having such a good-looking friend, I didn't bring you here earlier", he added a chair next to him and warmly invited the new friend to take a seat.

From the moment he heard the voice, Lu Zhouyu guessed who it was, but alcohol blocked his thoughts and actions, until everyone's attention was attracted by another couple who had been in love for many years, and the people on the side finally moved.

Xia Yan held his chin in one hand, approached him and asked, "You don't remember me?"

I haven't seen him for three years, and he has hardly changed. A face that everyone admires, and light-colored hair that grows to his shoulders are unforgettable.

But it seemed that luck was bad, and he was fined several times as soon as the game started.

Have three drinks?Or more, in short, when he leaned over to speak, his voice was very soft, with a faint smell of alcohol, brushing against his ears.

Lu Zhouyu turned his head away, glanced across his face, nodded slightly, "Long time no see."

Soon, the unlucky ones turned into two people.

Lu Zhouyu and Xia Yan were controlled by the squad leader, amidst the uproar, the squad leader smiled slyly.

Lu Zhouyu's eyebrows twitched violently, vaguely feeling something was wrong - he had sat at the same table as the class monitor, and had seen her doodles in every corner of the textbook, all of which were kissing pictures of anime characters without exception - they were of the same gender.

Sure enough, she threw the cards in her hand on the table, "Then give me a kiss."

This kind of punishment is common in games, and it is a great weapon to boost the atmosphere. Those who don't mind will even kiss on the spot, adding fire to the scene, and those who mind drink a glass of wine and it's over.

All in all, it will never be like this——

The atmosphere takes the parties as the center and solidifies radially outward.

Everyone at the scene vaguely felt that it was weird, so some people smoothed things over in good faith, saying, "Don't engage in such fancy things", "Drink it and you'll be done."

Xia Yan's gaze was like a feather, and he stroked Lu Zhouyu's face lightly, without leaving any traces, and then stood up with a smile, "It's okay, just play."

He was as empathetic as ever—the squad leader, already flushed at his suggestion, apologized profusely.

But the ten fingers resting on the table are like spring bamboo shoots that refuse to grow, their brittle knuckles tremble unceasingly, and the liquid in the wine glass shakes out ripples.

Lu Zhouyu looked down for a while.

"I'm sorry," he picked up the glass of wine, raised it up and circled the crowd for half a circle, and said with a half-truth and half-fake smile, "I'm homophobic."

Then he threw his head back and drank it.

Amid the cheers of relief all around, the half glass of wine seemed to have additional combustion accelerants, burning from the throat all the way to the heart and lungs.

The game continued, Lu Zhouyu stuffed the card into the bottom of the cup casually, got up and went to the bathroom.

With a bang, the glass was hit by another glass, and a layer of white foam rose from the surface of the amber wine.

"Where are you going?" Xia Yan asked with a suppressed voice.

"Toilet." Lu Zhouyu had already walked to the entrance of the booth, turned around and saw him following suit, and said, "Don't follow."

The feeling of being drunk is not easy, and the hidden lights make the vertigo more intense.

After walking a few steps, the ground seemed to be shaking, so Lu Zhouyu simply sat down against the wall, there was still a small clear spot in his consciousness, and he recognized the sound of approaching footsteps.

Before making a sound, a shadow pressed down, Xia Yan put Lu Zhouyu's arm on his shoulder, and supported the wall with both hands, lifting him up.

He was still very thin, the protruding bones on his shoulders were like the back of a blade, and Lu Zhouyu's arms were numb.

Therefore, the action of pushing him away seemed powerless, "What are you doing here?"

Before he finished speaking, Xia Yan put his hand on his shoulder and pushed back hard, Lu Zhouyu's back hit the wall of the bar.

After a heavy blunt sound, the pain came late, and when he was about to fight back, the dizziness followed.

During a two-second absence, Xia Yan kissed her recklessly.

The strength is no less than when pushing people.

Lips rubbing against lips, nostrils fluttering.It's a kiss, it's more like a beast holding its prey, repeatedly testing whether the delicious food under its mouth has the power to fight back.

After a brief absence, Lu Zhouyu put his hands on his shoulders, and when he was about to push them away, he realized that the bones in his hands were trembling, like a piece of white paper in the wind, which would shatter when poked.

It turned out to be just a fierce beast.

After less than a second of relaxation, Xia Yan seized the opportunity again, as if he had already concluded that he was exhausted, and the kiss came even more violently.

He stuck out his tongue and licked the other lip over and over again, as if he could taste the sweet blood through the flesh, and even held the lip flesh with the tip of his teeth to grind it.

At the same time, his eyes opened.I don't know if the end of the eyes was stained by the wine, or because of other reasons, there was a brilliant thin red, and the dark eyeballs were as bright and sharp as if they were covered with a layer of ice.

The prey fights back at this moment - bite back hard, and the smell of rust overwhelms everything in an instant.

Spicy smoke and mellow wine can't match the most primitive smell of blood, which makes people unable to restrain themselves. This is the savage gene inherent in animals.

At the end of the fight, Xia Yan stepped back a little, still staying at the distance where his breath intertwined, panting while laughing.

"Aren't you homophobic?" he said, "I'm here to check the truth."

The lights softened, and a cello concerto was played on the stereo. The strings seemed to be stirring his stomach, and something surged up. Lu Zhouyu pushed him away without hesitation, "Don't follow me, I'm going to the toilet."

After washing her face with cold water for the third time, she was finally awake. Lu Zhouyu looked at her face in the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot, her mouth was scarred, and there was even a deep tooth mark on her chin. I don’t remember when I left it. down.

In any case, this appearance is not suitable for seeing people again. He took out his mobile phone and sent a WeChat message to the squad leader, saying that there is something temporary and we will meet again next time.

Putting away the phone and looking up, he saw Xia Yan's mottled face in the mirror, which was not much better than his own.

Before he could speak, the person in the mirror laughed first, and called his name briskly: "Lu Zhouyu."

After a pause, he added, "I just found out your name today."

It took a while for Lu Zhouyu to realize that they hadn't introduced themselves on the mountain three years ago.He turned to face Xia Yan, "If you want to know, you can ask me."

"Can I ask anything?"

"What else do you want to know?"

Xia Yan took a step closer, folded his arms, and leaned against the door frame as if thinking about it, before asking: "Are you really homophobic?"

"Fake." Lu Zhouyu replied.

Xia Yan said "Oh", then nodded slowly, and finally got a shock, took out his phone and turned it on, "I have to go, the school's access control is at 10:30."

After he finished speaking, neither of them moved, and the silence fell from second to second, until the past century.Lu Zhouyu felt that he should say something, but his mind was in chaos. In the melody of the cello music, he could only think of blood all over the floor.

In the end, he just said mechanically: "Okay, goodbye."

"Can we meet again?" Xia Yan asked.

"Maybe." Lu Zhouyu replied.

The conversation is interrupted by a drunk who breaks into the door.

Perhaps it was the inference with subjective intentions, the next afternoon, when Lu Zhouyu went to a studio named "One", when he opened the door and entered, he saw Xia Yan again in the dim light.

In the following week, it seemed as if they had returned to the time when they were on the mountain again. They drew together, had lunch, finished class, and walked for a while. They first passed the stop sign for Xia Yan to take the bus back to school, and then Lu Zhouyu walked home alone.At that time, he lived in Lu Wenyuan's villa.

The end of the new year is approaching, the studio is about to close, Xia Yan's university is also in the Qing school, his home is in the distant Tang City, and there are few airlines, and when he got the ticket, he was quite excited to share it with Lu Zhouyu.

Lu Zhouyu also shared with him the news of passing the selection, and will go to the UK for exchange after the Spring Festival.

At noon on the day when the studio was closed, Lu Zhouyu sent Xia Yan to the airport as agreed.

After a week of continuous sunny days in Haicheng, a downpour finally broke out.

There was only one exquisite parasol in the studio, and the two of them were squeezed together until they stood up, almost half of their bodies were soaked, and they were in a state of embarrassment.

Xia Yan opened the suitcase, found two coats, and handed one to Lu Zhouyu.

"No need." Lu Zhouyu said.

"Change it, it's too uncomfortable to be wet." Xia Yan said, "It's fine if you don't return it to me."

When we entered the security check, no one said goodbye.

Lu Zhouyu stood in the hall, the wind and rain condensed the sky and the earth into a huge piece of dust without cracks, it was so gray that no light could enter.

It was raining heavily, but the plane still took off as scheduled, and the wet coat I changed in my hand was heavy, and it fell into the water as soon as I twisted it.Lu Zhouyu rolled it up and stuffed it into the trash can with his head down, so he didn't see the moment the plane took off. The signal light briefly cut through the dust and turned on for a moment.