East Berlin's June Boat Song

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The temperature rises slowly and then drops slowly.From summer to autumn, there are thick stacks of newspapers, some of which are folded into boats and others into paper airplanes.

That day, when I was doing origami in boredom, Ansolov brought me a potted cornflower. He said that autumn is the flowering period, and this kind of flower is the most beautiful time.

He looked at me lovingly, and I reached out and stroked those tender petals, then shook my head.

"There is no sunlight here, and they are too pitiful."

Ansolov's cloudy eyes began to turn red. He lowered his head, looked up again with a smile after a long time and said, "It's not pitiful, because you are with them."

I grinned, took the flowers from his hand, and said softly, "Thank you."

He smiled gratifiedly, sniffed, and was about to leave. When he reached the cell door, he turned to me and asked, "Little Rhine, is there any book you want to read? Or something to eat? I'll get you all."

I sniffed the petals, and a little bit of sweetness rushed into my nostrils. I suddenly thought of something, so I said excitedly to Ansolov: "Annie said she would make apple pie for me? Can you tell her to make apple pie for me? Burnt icing and sprinkled with orange zest!"

He opened his mouth wide, and it took him a long time to come back to his senses. He nodded and couldn't hide his wry smile: "Okay, okay, I will ask her to do it for you. She will do it."

"Thank you!"

I laughed happily, but he cried.

In fact, I am not alone here. Except for the time when the attending doctor talks to me, someone will accompany me whenever I have free time.For example, Sonia, she stays here for more than an hour every time, and sometimes even has lunch with me here.

Of course, she said it was lunch.

I have already lost the concept of time.

Sonia touched my Bible, and her beautiful eyes became very sad. I leaned forward and asked with a smile, "Why are you unhappy?"

She pinched my nose: "How can I be happy when you are not up?"

I lay back and said carelessly, "I've been healed a long time ago, it's just that you don't know."

I covered my heart and said with a smile, "It doesn't seem to hurt anymore."

Her eyes brightened suddenly: "Really? Are you really well?"

"Yeah!" I sat up abruptly: "Look at me, I'm starting to gain weight now, so it's delicious to eat! But..."

I frowned and looked at her, and my expression became sad: "But why didn't Sasha come to see me? Does he not love me?"

Sonia squeezed out a stiff smile: "What did you say?"

"I said, does Sasha not love me anymore?" I played with the corner of my clothes, lowered my head, and muttered like a child who has done something wrong: "Does he still hate me for scratching his neck?"

"No!" Sonia screamed, rushed forward to hold my shoulder, and shook me violently: "You didn't cut the wound on his neck! You weren't Julian either! You were Rhine!"

"Rhein! I beg you, get better soon, you can only leave this place when you get better, really..." Sonia suddenly hugged me and cried, this was the first time I saw her cry, This pungent and tough female captain burst into tears no matter what.

Humans are really strange creatures.

"You can't stay here any longer, you're going to be screwed.....It was wrong to begin with, I knew it, they...they're really stupid... Rhine, I'm sorry, I can't save you, I can't save anyone..."

"Can I just watch you all suffer so much? But your pain will make me suffer..."

"Rhein, get better, get better and leave here, far away from here...I beg you, please let Julian go..."

"Who will be let go?" I held her shoulder in surprise and stared into her moist eyes.

She trembled her lips, then covered her mouth in horror, her cheeks paled instantly.

I laughed in disbelief, thinking it must be an auditory hallucination.The doctor said, I am mentally ill.Then I must have heard wrong.

Sonia actually begged me to spare Julian...

I sighed and took out my handkerchief to wipe Sonia's tears.

"If I cause you that much pain, I will do as you say, as long as you don't cry."

"Why?" she asked looking up at me in disbelief.

"Because..." I laughed: "Are you different from them?"

"You are also powerless."

"I remember you sighing as you drove me to St. Anthony's the other day."

"You can't bear it, can you? Sonia, you took pity on me when they deceived me step by step."

"Oh Rhine, you're back." She sighed softly, took my hand and kissed it: "I hope you can always be yourself."

Maybe it was winter—because I had already been put on a thick cotton coat, and Alyosha and Ansolov also started a stove outside. Of course, because it was a basement, they almost poisoned me once, so they A major project was done in a hurry to install an air conditioning system for me in the basement.

I have only seen this kind of high-end gadgets in Karlshorst and the Stasi headquarters, and I didn't expect that there would be times exclusively for me.So the cell became warm and warm, and I stopped shivering when I talked to the attending doctor.The doctor came once a day instead of two days, and then once a week. It seemed that not many people remembered me. Only Sonia, Ansolov, and Alyosha appeared in front of me.

But it also suits me.

Mental health is obviously improving, and time is a magical thing.That day, I was watering the cornflowers that had passed their flowering period but were still green, when I heard the cell door open and a familiar voice came.Looking back, I almost jumped up in surprise.

It's Andy!

How could Andy appear here? !

I ran up to hug him, squeezed and kissed him, fearing it was an illusion.Andy was wearing a felt hat, his nose was red from the cold, his cheeks were flushed, and his golden eyelashes were beaded.

"Merry Christmas, Rhine," he said, "I've come to see you."

"Is it Christmas today?" I rubbed his face, trying to give him my warmth.

"Well!" Andy nodded excitedly: "People here don't celebrate Christmas, but we do! See what I brought you?"

Andy took out a red and green gift box from his pocket and handed it to me.

"Is this a Christmas present for me?"

"Ok!"

I took Andy to sit on the bed, opened the gift, and found it was a small radio.

"Maybe you can listen to the radio." Andy said with a smile, "I really didn't expect that they didn't even give you this, and kept you here for eight months..."

"Eight months?" I looked up blankly, "Why does it feel like it's only been a few days..."

"Rhein..." Andy held my hand and stroked the scar on my wrist with distressed face: "I'm sorry Rhein, they were looking for you everywhere at the time, I couldn't hide it from them, and you made a big fuss, the neighbors kept coming Knock on the door, I really have no choice but to hand you over to them..."

He rubbed his eyes and said, "At least you have someone here to heal you. You have been... Oh, Rhine, you scared me."

I hugged him. "I'm sorry, Andy. But why would they allow you to come here?"

Andy grinned: "Captain Dunecka arranged for me to come."

"Oh, Sonia, my dear Sonia..."

I stroked the little radio, and Andy fell silent, seeming to hesitate to speak.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Hmm... just... um... I met someone a while ago..." He dodged his eyes and looked at the cell door from time to time, as if he was very vigilant.

"and then?"

"He said he had a way of getting you out..."

I opened my eyes wide, and then laughed out: "Impossible! What is this place? The general's mansion in Karlshorst, I can't open the lock of this door, and Alyosha has been guarding it outside." ..."

"No." Andy suddenly held my hand nervously: "Anyway, listen to me first!"

"On New Year's Eve, there will be no one here, and the cell door will be open. You walk out of the general's mansion and run to the north of Karlshorst. There is a forest there. You will succeed if you run into the forest, because He will take you away!"

I was dumbfounded, and then asked: "But, who is he?"

"He didn't say his name, but he heard that you were locked up here and kept crying in my house. With such a beautiful face, he cried like a pussy. He said he was sorry for you, so he wanted to take you away. .He said that even if everyone abandons you, he will be by your side."

"He will always be by your side."

A beautiful face appeared in front of my eyes, but should I believe him?

Andy seemed a little anxious, he whispered eagerly: "You have to try, what if it works? Can you continue to stay in this place? You will go crazy! Who are they, God I have harmed you for so long, and locked you here for more than eight months!"

He held my palm nervously, breaking out in cold sweat: "Anyway, you decide for yourself, they can't touch you now, you have to learn to turn them into an army."

I laughed: "Andy, that's not like you."

Andy was startled, and then blushed: "Yes, that man taught me... He doesn't look serious, but he seems very powerful."

I nodded: "He is indeed very powerful."

George Blake, the famous Diomede, the all-pervasive mole, the legend of the spy world, how could he not be amazing?

But why did he feel sorry for me?Could it be that he was also involved in this matter?

Not long after Andy left, I thought about it carefully, and suddenly an idea popped into my heart.

Perhaps George was the one who told Allen their plan to the Soviet military.At that time, he didn't know that he would have an intersection with me in the not-too-distant future. When he saw that I had worked so foolishly for Julian, he must have felt very guilty.

I smiled wryly and shook my head, then, should I believe in the guilt of a spy?

But in fact, it took me many years to understand that the feeling of guilt has unimaginable power.It will make a man love another, it will make a man willingly die for another, it will make a man spend his whole life in a vain search for another, though he never has it.

At that time, Rhine didn't know how to take advantage of this mood.In fact, he has never learned to use the so-called guilt, not because he is so noble, but because he no longer dares to believe it easily.

It wasn't until the last moment when he lost that he realized that this person really fell in love with him.

But it was all too late.