East Berlin's June Boat Song

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Am I dead?

If memory serves me right, that bullet should have hit my heart.

I know who shot it because I didn't kill anyone but Haydon.I just crippled those people's hands and feet and removed their armed capabilities.

Is it because of conscience?I don't know, but that's what I thought when picking up a submachine gun.

The enemies in front of me all confronted me with weak firepower, thinking that I could be easily killed, but I didn't expect that I would bring such fierce firepower.

They also didn't expect that the bullets could perfectly avoid their vital points, only making them scream in pain, unable to fight any more.

They even didn't expect that this person would still chatter with their boss there, and after killing the boss, he didn't give them a replacement gun, so the opportunity came?

I guess that's it.

Sighing, I planned to sleep for a while, maybe it would be a good thing to die in a comfortable sleep.So I emptied my brain and let my consciousness sink to the bottom of a quiet lake.

But it seemed that someone didn't want me to rest. He was hitting me with something, cutting my skin with something. I was suddenly annoyed and wanted to reprimand him, so I opened my eyes and yelled out.

The white lights and blue surgical gown, the gray eyes are full of surprise and gentleness.

I was a little puzzled, so I heard a voice say:

"Increase the dose of anesthesia."

I was completely unconscious.

He opened his eyes, and there was a strange man sitting in front of him.He was dressed in white and had brown hair. The sunlight from the window blurred his figure, making it difficult for me to see his face clearly.

"Who are you?" I struggled to make a sound, with the bitter taste of medicine in my mouth.

"I'm Richard Helms."

"Well, Richard Helms... who is that?"

"A friend of Colonel Victor, attending doctor of Ilanga, and honorary dean of the Faculty of Medicine of the Free University of Berlin."

It turned out to be a doctor, I smiled at him: "I like doctors."

"I know." He leaned down gently and touched my head: "I know you like doctors, and I also know that your name is not River Randall, you are Rhine Muller, a man who lost his father Poor kid."

I was a little surprised and confused, but his friendly and friendly attitude gave me an inexplicable sense of peace of mind, so I returned him a warm smile and closed my eyes again.

I don't know how long it took, but I was awakened by a burst of sweet and greasy fragrance.Slowly opened his eyes, under the warm yellow light, Colonel Victor held a brown leather book and read it quietly.

I have heard of Goethe's "Faust", but Julian has not read it to me.

He said, I can't read German books.

I smiled noncommittally, which caught Colonel Victor's attention.

He smiled and leaned forward: "Are you awake?"

"Did you save me?"

Colonel Victor ticked the corner of his mouth: "It's not a rescue, it's just a few bullets."

I showed a guilty look: "I'm really sorry..."

"You never have to say sorry to me." He said to me with gentle eyes, like a father and a brother: "This is what friends should do, isn't it?"

I nodded shyly, "How long have I been asleep?"

"Half a month, Rhine, that bullet passed by your heart."

"I'm so lucky." The sweet and greasy scent surged into my nasal cavity, and I asked, "What is this?"

"Apple pie." He smiled dotingly: "You kept yelling for apple pie in a coma, little Rhine, you are really lucky, the best thing Yilanga can make is apple pie."

His eyes were suddenly moist, and Anne's smile appeared in front of his eyes.

Suddenly I seemed to remember something, so I grabbed Colonel Victor and asked, "What's the situation in East Berlin? Is it messed up there after Beria stepped down?"

Colonel Victor lowered his eyes, his thick eyelashes completely covered the emotions in his eyes, then he held my hand and said softly: "Actually, you don't have to care about the situation over there, Rhine, you don't want to kill people? Is it? As long as you are willing, I may have the ability to help you get rid of the Stasi."

"No..." A bad premonition crept into my heart, and I asked with trembling lips, "What happened over there?"

He raised his eyes to look at me: "Wilhelm Zeisel and Hernstadt have been arrested as traitors."

"Rhein, now the Stasi has... changed ownership."

Tears gushed out like a river breaking its embankment, Minister Zeisel...how could it be?

I shook my head in disbelief and cried out.

The fist he put on me that day already gave me a premonition, but I didn't dare to think deeply about such a complicated thing, how could my stupid brain figure it out?

He threw me at Milk, which meant that he got rid of all relations between me and him.

At least on the bright side.

Oh, my minister, my Anne...

Grabbing the quilt, I burst into tears like a child.

Why am I always losing?

Why do people who love me always leave?

I know that life is a process of continuous gain and loss, but if the loss is destined, I would rather never get it.

With tears in her eyes, Elanga walked in slowly carrying a fragrant apple pie.

The scorched curls and the crystal-orange jam look so sweet and delicious.

But there is no orange peel that I love most, no Annie's smile, no anisette that the minister promised me.

My tears burst again.

After a week I was barely able to get out of bed, during which time I was visited almost every day by a doctor named Richard Helms, a young man of about thirty-five, good-looking, with wise gray eyes, compared to Sasha was a little less gentle, but a little more deep.

I thought he was entrusted by Colonel Victor to perform his duties in this way, until he sat by the bed that day and stared at me silently for a long time.

I was a bit uncomfortable being looked at, but he was a doctor, my favorite doctor, so I just frowned and smiled and asked, "What's wrong?"

He shook his head, lowered his head and smiled slightly: "I don't know if I should tell you."

"Please tell me."

"Oh, just call me Richard..."

He smiled kindly, and fell silent again, like a pious man in church.

I waited quietly and patiently for him to speak. What can such a stranger tell me?

Tell me I won't live long?

"You look exactly like your father."

He spoke suddenly, still lowering his eyes, his voice was as soft as the wind.

This was the second time he mentioned my father, and if the first time I thought it was an unconscious dream, then this time I was sure he knew my father.

But that person has disappeared from my life for so long that I can hardly remember his appearance.

But I'm not surprised that they knew about it.His father's photo still hangs in the auditorium of Humboldt University, as the youngest professor of physics.

But what he said next took me by surprise.

"Rhein, that was a dark time." He seemed to be ready, and looked at me tenderly.

"In 1936, before the war even started, the Nazis at that time required a group of advanced domestic scientists to conduct research on weapons of mass destruction. Your father was taken away by the military at that time... a group of outstanding scientists followed disappeared, and all those who knew were forced to sign a non-disclosure agreement, otherwise they would be imprisoned by the SS in a concentration camp for leaking state secrets."

I didn't know this secret, but I only remembered the powerlessness and despair of my mother when she begged the school hysterically to return her husband to her.

The expressions of those people were not indifferent, but even compassionate and tender.But what's the use?

No one could tell poor Anna why her husband had disappeared, just to teach the students?

Richard smiled bleakly, as if lost in memory: "No one knows what he studied at the beginning, but during that time, he was favored by Professor Werner Heisenberg, yes, that Ding Ding Famous physicist, I heard that Professor Heisenberg thinks highly of your father."

"I think you understand what I'm talking about, Rhine. Since 1941, your father has been researching atomic bombs and nuclear weapons under the leadership of Professor Heisenberg."

"and then?"

"However, they failed. Professor Heisenberg is now controlled by the military in England, and your father..."

He looked up into my eyes: "In the Soviet Union."

My eyes widened and I asked in disbelief, "You mean, he's still alive?"

"Alive. I'm sure because..."

He lowered his head: "He is the professor I admire the most. For so many years, I have been..."

I narrowed my eyes: "So, you are also one of the signatories of the non-disclosure agreement?"

There was panic in his eyes, but he quickly calmed down: "Please forgive me, Rhine, I was just a student at the time, and I couldn't fight against such a huge monster... Oh, I'm really sorry..."

I laughed, grabbed his hand, and said, "It's okay, I should thank you, Richard, this is the best news I've heard in years."

Yes Richard, thank you.

I am well aware of the fate of Minister Zeisel after being arrested, and I have to send such a bloodless father away.

But my real father is still alive in this world, at least for me, it is a glimmer of hope.

Like a shot of slow-release medicine in severe pain, it turns out that I still have relatives living in this world.

With a sore nose, I hugged Richard.

"Then, my dear Dr. Hermes, please restore me to health quickly."

"I can't wait to get home."

In October in West Berlin, autumn colors spread, the linden trees turn golden, and the fallen leaves adorn the gray sidewalks. White pigeons fly by in groups in the square, and there is the echo of pigeon whistles in the wind.

Colonel Victor said that since there is someone I really want to see over there, at least he should take good care of himself before going back, otherwise he will make the other person sad and sad.

I smiled and exposed his lies.

"You just can't bear to part with me!" Pushing Yilanga, we walked side by side under the boulevard of the Free University of Berlin.

He lowered his head shyly, paused, and looked up at me: "Rhein, maybe I will leave Germany soon."

"Oh? Where are you going?"

He bent his eyes, and his smile was full of longing.

"Go to Norway, Alta, do you know that place? There is a very beautiful aurora and a very beautiful ocean."

His eyes are shining, I think it must be the autumn wind that made his eyes red.

"Yes." I said, "There are also people you love deeply."

"So you're going, aren't you?"

"Nothing can stop friends from meeting, and nothing can stop people who love each other from being together."

He looked at me with a little surprise, and then smiled gratifiedly: "Rhein, you have really grown up."

I sniffed and felt embarrassed: "So, I also have to go back to East Berlin."

"Maybe one day, I will go to the Soviet Union, to Moscow, to Sochi, to Lake Baikal!"

I smiled brightly: "I now understand what you said at that time. You said that liking a man is not the same as liking a man. Now I finally understand."

"Major, I'm in love with a man now, too. He's a Russian, with very beautiful green eyes, blond hair almost silver, a very Slavic beauty, not gentle, sometimes even cold, with a bad temper." Well, but I think he loves me too."

My joyful frankness moved Colonel Victor, and even Elanga, who never spoke much, touched my hand.

"Then, little Rhine, you must go back to him."

"No matter what, don't leave him."

Elanga's eyes were full of love: "I want to be with him forever, forever."

I heard Colonel Victor choke imperceptibly, so I walked up to Iranga and knelt down, holding her old hand.

"I will, and I will always cherish that relationship and never regret it."

I put a kiss on the back of her hand: "I will miss you too, forever."

"Me too, little Rhine."

I stood up and hugged Colonel Victor. He said to me with red eyes, "The apartment here will always be reserved for you. If one day you want to come here, go there."

"That's your home on the west side."

I nodded at him tearfully.

I'm convinced this won't be the last time we meet.

So in mid-October 1953, I bid farewell to Major Victor and Ilanga, and returned to East Berlin through the checkpoint under the Brandenburg Gate.

East Berlin is on my mind.

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PS: PS: The Free University of Berlin was established in 1948.The former University of Berlin (the Humboldt University of Berlin) located in Unter den Linden was assigned to East Berlin and was governed by the socialist camp headed by the Soviet Union.In order to pursue academic freedom, the former University of Berlin's masters and students mainly in the humanities and social sciences left, and with the support of the Western camps such as the United States, Britain and France, established the "Free Berlin University" in West Berlin, namely the Free University of Berlin.Therefore, the Humboldt University of Berlin and the Free University of Berlin were originally connected, but some teachers and students left to the Free University founded in West Berlin.

Werner Heisenberg: A famous German physicist who won the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1932 and one of the founders of quantum mechanics. In 1941, he began to study the atomic bomb for the Nazis, and competed with the "Manhattan Project" led by Oppenheimer in the United States, but failed (there are rumors that he failed on purpose).After Germany's defeat, a large number of German scientists were taken away by the Allied forces or the Soviet Union.