East Berlin's June Boat Song

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This 48-hour demonstration finally ended at nine o'clock in the evening on the 17th. Of course, Andy did not board the prison van, and I knew I was finished.

Andy blushed and cried and pushed me, screaming, "I told you to leave me alone, what should you do now?!"

I shrugged helplessly, what should I do?Put in prison by Milk, or be beaten up by Julian?

I rubbed my aching head and said to Andy: "Go home, eat something and sleep well, and stop doing dangerous things."

Andy leaned on my shoulder and cried, "I can't help it, Rhine, I lost everything..."

I wiped away his tears, and managed to squeeze out a bright and relieved smile: "You are still young, I also felt that I lost everything before I was 19 years old, and my life is gloomy, but there will always be a turning point, you have to believe. "

Rubbing his blond hair, I told him he couldn't stay here for long and had to go home as soon as possible.After seeing him off, I also drove back to the chaotic Stasi headquarters.

Just looking at the overcrowded interrogation room made me feel so tired.

I said hello to Philip, who saw my bruised forehead immediately and told me to go home for the time being and take care of it.

"I'll call you when I'm too busy."

"it is good."

My dear sheriff hasn't noticed my loneliness and frustration yet. I don't think I can wait long for my return home. Either Milk or Alyosha will come to my door.

I sat in the empty living room, polishing my Tokarev pistol.Alan is not at home today, he told me last night that he has an important test today, I think so, Alan is not like Andy, he has everything, even if he is not doing well, he will not take it He cared nothing about those dangerous activities, only caring about having fun.

Maybe it's self-comforting, but I really dare not think in a worse direction.

Not long after, the door opened, and Allen walked in exhausted.

"Crazy crazy."

Before he could finish his sentence, I threw me down, and I sniffed him like a dog.

"Wow!" Allen pushed me out in panic, and then put on a smirk: "Little Rhine, are you hungry and thirsty? Although I also like men, I don't want to provoke the Soviets."

"Hey hey hey..."

I giggled, that's great, Alan doesn't have any smell of gunpowder, only the strong smell of disinfectant.He looked at me with a puzzled expression, picked up his Cambridge bag, stood up and stretched: "I'm exhausted, I suspect that Professor Rembrandt is trying to trick me on purpose."

I got up and asked, "Have you stayed in school?"

"Yeah, I heard that the streets are in chaos." He straightened his clothes and looked at me: "Your general is going crazy."

When Julian was mentioned, I smiled mischievously and told him about how I got Andy out.

Allen gasped after hearing this, grabbed my shoulder and said, "Or, run away."

My eyes widened: "Ah? Where are you going to escape?"

"West Berlin?" He suddenly thought of something again, and frowned: "No, martial law has been enforced for the past two days, damn it! You, you, you! I told you not to worry about those things!"

I sniffed and lowered my head: "No one can do anything about it."

I slumped on the sofa, pretending to be indifferent and said: "It's okay, at most I'll be beaten up by Julian, please help me prepare some anti-inflammatory drugs, the best kind."

Allen twitched the corner of his mouth stiffly, and before he could say anything, there was a knock on the door, and I was frightened.

God God God!Who is it?

No, I'm afraid of whoever comes...

"Rhein." After Alan opened the door, he turned his head and gave me a stiff smile: "Captain Alyosha is looking for you."

My eyes went black.

"Wake up."

Someone was patting my face, I woke up suddenly, Julian's deep green eyes were staring at me like snakes.

I was shocked, and shrank back with a cry, and then found myself being pressed by him on the sofa in the piano room.

He hooked the corners of his lips and straightened up.

"Since you were so brave then, don't be cowardly now."

I didn't dare to look at him at all, I avoided my eyes and muttered in a low voice: "I, I'm not brave..."

"I think you are very courageous." With a joke in his mouth, he lifted me up and dragged me out of the piano room.

"Wow, if you want to hit me, hit me here, don't hit anywhere else, woo woo woo!"

He ignored me who was kicking and kicking me at all, grabbed me and went downstairs, then walked into the office area on the second floor, walked through the secretary's room under Sonia's shocked gaze, and threw me into his office.

"Stand up and be a man."

I staggered up and stood shivering in the corner, feeling so guilty that I couldn't help shaking.

Looking up at him a little, he was already sitting behind the desk, flipping through a stack of documents in his hand, then pulled out a copy, signed it, and threw it in front of me.

"have a look."

I picked it up, and it was densely packed in Russian. After careful identification, I was surprised to find that it was an investigation report against a certain person.

"This man is in West Berlin, you go and get rid of him."

"Ah?!" I opened my mouth wide: "Get rid of him?"

Julian raised his cold eyes and said, "Why? Don't you dare?"

"I, I am anti-spies, I am against domestic spies..."

The implication is that I don't do "dirty work," and Julian just sneers darkly.

I lowered my head uneasily.

"Rhein."

"Ok?"

"He's not dead, you can't come back."

I opened my eyes wide: "What do you mean?"

"literal meaning."

He stood up, walked in front of me, twisted my jaw and kissed me.

The kiss was very moving, with anger and resentment, and the hand around my waist was very hard.I could hardly breathe, and the tears fell down uncontrollably.

Should I regret it?What kind of emotion should I be in?

I don't know, I don't know anything.

As soon as the kiss was over, he gently touched my face, his emotions accumulated in the depths of his pupils, making it unpredictable, and the light golden eyelashes drooped slightly, completely covering up all the tenderness.

"You have let me down too much."

A few soft words made my tense emotions collapse instantly. He could scold me and beat me, but he couldn't say that I was disappointed.I cried out, grabbed the clothes around his waist, and begged for mercy: "Julian, don't..."

He pushed me out, with an unprecedented indifference, and said coldly: "Go to West Berlin and complete your mission."

"Otherwise, I don't want to see you again."

I walked out of the white mansion in a daze, and the plane trees swayed in the middle of the night.The cold night wind dried my tears on my face.

The wound on the head no longer hurts, but the dull pain in my heart is unbearable.I hammered my chest, took a deep breath, and smiled at the gloomy Alyosha.

"I'll go out by myself."

"Remember to treat the wound on your head, Rhine."

I nodded and headed towards Barn station in Karlshorst.

My head was filled with random thoughts, maybe because of my injury, I walked a little unsteadily, like a drunkard.But I even hoped that I was drunk at this time, the reality is not so, Julian is not disappointed in me, I still have his full love.

I realize my inferiority complex and cowardice, I am a complete coward, a coward.Afraid of being abandoned, afraid of taking the initiative to separate, afraid that he doesn't love me.

Oh, but... I knelt down and cried in pain.

I'm also afraid of killing people.

I'm really afraid of killing people.

The next day, as soon as I arrived at the Stasi headquarters at 103 Ruthchester Avenue, Philip gave me a hesitant look and told me to see Minister Zeisel.

In the minister's office, Minister Zeisel, who had been busy all night, rubbed his forehead. When he saw me coming in, he raised his head and showed a loving smile.

He is always so gentle and mellow, just like a father, I suddenly feel sour in the nose.

"Is the head injury better?"

I nodded: "It was bandaged last night."

He suddenly fell silent, and the smile on the corner of his mouth suddenly became lonely, but this loneliness disappeared in a flash, like a puff of smoke.He stood up again and waved to me excitedly.

"Come here, talk to Annie, she has been thinking of you."

He dialed the phone, and I picked up the receiver to hear Annie's trembling voice over there.

"Little Rhine, is that you? Does your head still hurt?"

My tears poured out again uncontrollably, like a wronged child who came to his mother for comfort.

"Annie, I'm fine." My lips trembled, and I said coquettishly, "I want to eat your apple pie."

There was a sudden sound of sobbing on the phone, and I was a little flustered, so I quickly squeezed out a smile and comforted me: "Annie, I'm really fine, I don't feel any pain at all. I can go to the next task right away! When I come back, Can you make me the biggest and sweetest apple pie, with burnt icing and orange zest?"

"Okay, good boy, my Rhine, good boy, I will make you apple pie, you must, must come back safely, you know?"

It seemed that Anne knew that I was going far away. I raised my eyes to meet Minister Zeisel's, and he nodded at me with a smile.

"I will, Anne, love you, Anne."

I hung up the phone and looked at the minister.

"Is it Andrew Haydn?" I grinned, pretending to be grinning and said, "A former lieutenant colonel of the Ministry of Defense, a Nazi who escaped trial, is currently doing intelligence work for the Americans."

The minister nodded and stroked the back of my head: "Rhein, don't be afraid, we will all take this step."

"I'm not afraid." I lied: "I'm looking forward to it."

I laughed heartlessly and pleaded with him: "Give me the best gear, please?"

He rolled his eyes and smiled and said, "I'll give you the best, the best of the whole Stasi, no, the best of the whole KGB."

I lowered my head and whispered, "Thank you, minister, I have always been grateful to you, and I was lucky to meet you."

"I'll be back soon." I raised my head and stared at him: "Can you give me some ouzo next time too? Some people said that I have indigestion, and I should drink some."

"Okay, okay, I will..."

When I got an affirmative answer, I made a cheering gesture and laughed sincerely.

His eyes flashed suddenly, his smile became bitter, silence spread again, and we all stared at the ground in rapt attention.After a while, he suddenly smiled brightly and looked at me.

"Rhein."

"Ok?"

"You are 22 years old."

"Yeah." I nodded and said, "22 years old."

"He's a mature man." His voice was a little trembling: "Yes, you have to take good care of yourself, and you have to understand what you really want... Do you know?"

"Why did you say this suddenly?" I frowned, then said with a big grin: "Our parting will not be long."

"Yes, not for long, no."

He nodded, and I was surprised to find that his lips were pale and trembling. Just when I was wondering, his next actions made me feel chills all over.

He raised his fist high and slammed it down hard at me.

Unprepared, I met the punch, fell to the ground, and was picked up by him again.He was a soldier, and he punched hard. I felt incomprehensible confusion in the extreme pain, and in the confusion, I was shocked that I couldn't let go of.

He is crying.

My beloved Minister Zeisel is crying.

I don't understand the reason, he beat me so hard that I knelt on the ground and retched in pain, but he didn't want to stop at all.

"Run away, run away!"

While beating me, he dragged me to the office door.I instinctively crawled forward in pain, and then under the blessing of his feet, I smashed open the door of the minister's office like a ball, and rolled in the corridor with a bang.

In my dim vision, I saw at least a dozen pairs of eyes.

how could be?

It's usually deserted here, why are these people here?

I blinked, reconfirming that what I was seeing was not a hallucination.

One of them twinkled sullenly—it was Milk, the nervous Chief of the General Investigative Service.He stared at me coldly, admiring that I was beaten by the minister and lay on the ground trembling and convulsing like a dead fish.

The minister still didn't stop, he stomped my head hard, it hurt, really hurt, I couldn't hear what they were saying at all.Then I was picked up again and thrown towards Milk like trash.

However, Milk didn't intend to help me at all. He turned sideways slightly, and I fell to the ground.

His head was bleeding, and his vision was completely covered in blood.I squeezed my eyes, struggled to raise my head, and saw Philip standing silently at the end of the corridor.

The off-white light in the corridor made his face pale, making it difficult to see his expression clearly, but those two silver-white tear stains were deeply imprinted in my memory.

I wanted to call him, but no sound came out.

At 1953 o'clock in the evening on June 6, 18, I was sent to the station on Friedrichstrasse by a Stasi stranger. After passing the checkpoint, he threw me on the side of the road, leaving only a black backpack .

"I said, don't come back if you can't complete the task."

The car drove away, and I lay down on the cold ground, holding the black backpack in my arms with the last trace of sobriety.