East Berlin's June Boat Song

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After 28 years, I once again stood in the neighborhood where I lived when I was young.It's unbelievable that my apartment is still there and the furnishings haven't changed a bit.Of course, this is all thanks to Misha.Countless times, he came to my apartment alone to miss me who didn't know where I was. In the end, he bought the apartment that was auctioned with his own money.

He believes that one day I will come back.

Great changes have taken place in Germany, the Stasi was disbanded, and this intelligence agency spurned by all Germans finally disappeared in the long river of history.Building 103 in Ruthchester has also been transformed into a Stasi museum, and every East German will give a deeply disgusted look when passing by.

But when I stood outside, I only had nostalgia.

You see, that is building No. 13. Countless times I looked up at the sky helplessly on the rooftop, and sighed when I could get away from all this.But when I really left, I really wanted to come back.

But when I came back again, it was gone.

Everything has changed.

Milk and Misha also withdrew from the political arena. They finally stopped playing hostile roles and lived in seclusion together in the countryside of Brandenburg. I often visited them.Of course, I also met Andy. He is very happy, with children and grandchildren around his knees. The former blond boy has been called "Grandpa".Just my Sergeant Philip, who died years ago.

I sat in front of his tombstone, drank a lot of wine, and cried with Andy.Andy told me that when Sergeant Philip passed away, he still missed me as a fugitive. He said that at the last moment of his life, he returned to the embrace of Jehovah again, and he kept praying, begging for my safety.

I couldn't help wiping my tears, and then Andy invited me to his house for dinner. He has a warm home and is very happy, which makes me very happy too.When we parted, he touched the cross of Jesus on my chest, leaned on my shoulder again and cried.

I know he misses him because I miss him all the time too.

So in the autumn of 1990, accompanied by Catherine, who had already regarded me as a father, I came to Geheimnis in Dresden. Development, tourism has become a pillar industry here.

"How beautiful! Dr. Muller, how do you know such a beautiful place!"

Catherine wore a beautiful floral dress and danced among the flowers by the Elbe River. She looked like an elf in the sun. I watched her smile happily.

Yes, how could I know such a beautiful place?

I looked at the deep mountains, walked slowly along the path, and finally, I saw the stone house under the oak tree.A young man in a white coat was walking around the stone house, saying something to an old woman. I walked over in shock, thinking I saw him.

But when I saw it clearly, I realized it wasn't him.

Yes, how could it be him.

I am so old-fashioned.

The young doctor looked at me suspiciously, then turned his head and continued talking to the patient.But suddenly, he turned his head to look at me again and stared at me closely. After a long time, he finally walked out of the consulting room.

"Sir, you are crying." He tenderly handed me a handkerchief.

"Sorry, I... I'm just missing someone." I sniffed, feeling a little embarrassed.

The young man smiled softly and said, "I know."

"You know?" I looked at him in surprise.

He nodded, and said with a tender expression: "That person was here to save lives and heal the wounded, and healed my sister who fell from a tree, but suddenly disappeared in the morning when there were gunshots everywhere, and then... "

"And then you, tell me he went to a place called Suzdal."

He stared at me deeply, I couldn't control my emotions anymore, I covered my face and started to cry.Catherine ran over quickly, supported me and said to the young man angrily, "What did you tell him? He is old and can't stand stimulation!"

The young man's face turned red instantly, but his eyes never left the beautiful Catherine.

That afternoon, he and Catherine accompanied me up the back hill, through the wet forest, and the bushes full of berries. I stood on the top of the hill, holding the cross on my chest, and witnessed the sunset of Geheimnis again.

That is the most beautiful sunset in the world.

After returning to Berlin, Catherine began dating the young man, and in June 1991, they got married under my witness.I can't help but sigh with emotion for this inheritance and fate, and I couldn't help wiping away tears at the wedding.

On Christmas Eve in 1991, Misha invited me to spend time with them in Brandenburg. On that day, I toasted with Milk and Misha. When I asked what my wish was, I said with tears in my eyes, if Jesus can still hear my call, please let me see Julian soon.

Yes, they looked at each other and said, yes.

But I didn’t expect my dear Jesus to respond to me so quickly. Almost on the second day, that is, at midnight on Christmas Day, the huge red empire lowered their bright red flag, and officially ended its legend on the 26th. life.

I was so excited to see the news on TV that I almost fainted, I knew that one day, I knew it!

I was in a hurry to go back to Berlin. Milk advised me not to worry too much. The more critical the moment, the more calm I was. He scolded me for being like a child at my age, so he called some of his old friends, Let them handle my entry into the Soviet Union, no, it should be called the Russian entry process now.I hugged him and Misha excitedly, and went back to Berlin to wait for the formalities to be approved.

It took half a month before the formalities were approved.I was finally allowed in by the Russian government, and I could finally set foot on that land again.

In January 1992, I first came to Leningrad, which may soon be renamed St. Petersburg.I wandered around there, walking the road we walked, looking for him while thinking about the past.However, it is said that his identity and information were carefully hidden by the GRU. How easy is it to find his whereabouts?

I was walking by the Neva River, and I remembered that when I was in a relationship with him, he didn't know how to appease me, so he could only be cruel to himself. The temperature was more than ten degrees below zero and he jumped into the Neva River, and then he was embarrassed I got up on the ground and had a fever all day.It's funny to think about it, he, Sasha, and I all seem to have a soft spot for jumping into rivers.Why is this?

After staying in St. Petersburg for more than a week, I realized that my ignorant search was a waste of time. Maybe I should go to the GRU headquarters to ask, but when I thought that I was no longer a public official, I was still a former official. The fugitives still want to go to the military intelligence department to inquire about the news. I am afraid that they will be imprisoned in today's Russia.

But where should I look for him?

It won't be long before I get my answer.

There is that one person, he said that he will always be with me, so he used his whole life to fulfill this promise.

The moment I came to Russia, he, who has been engaged in intelligence work all year round, may have gotten the news.

When he stood in front of me and smiled at me, my eyes widened in surprise.

He said, "Rhein, you are finally here."

The beautiful brown eyes have not lost their light due to the aging of the face. George is still so energetic, but because of the frostbite on his feet when he was young, he was in a wheelchair in his early 60s. I squatted down and hugged him, lying on the ground He wept bitterly on his lap.

"I still like to cry so much." He pinched my face and said, "I look like a woman now."

He still did not change his cynical tone. Even though he had lived in the Soviet Union for so long, his personality hadn't changed at all.But I keenly noticed a trace of sadness and loneliness in his eyes. The disintegration of that giant red beast completely took away his faith.

I pushed him along the Neva River for a long time, chatting about the past of these years, but neither of us mentioned Julian, and we only talked about each other in a tacit understanding, until the sun was setting and we were about to part.

"30 years doesn't seem to be a long time in a person's life. Do you know that you love someone, but you can't give him the feeling of happiness?"

I stared blankly into the distance, the golden sunset stretched across the sky, beautiful, with a kind of melancholy sadness.George raised the corners of his mouth slowly, and his eyes drifted into the distance.

"There was such a person who said the same thing to me. He said that the person thought he didn't love him, but he actually loved him the most. At first he thought he couldn't say love, but when he could say it, it was too late He couldn't give that person happiness, so he decided not to have happiness anymore."

He met my moist eyes with a warm smile.

"At first I felt sorry for them, but now I feel that they are all happy."

"30 years is a long time. It has snowed countless times in Moscow, and countless June boat songs have been played in the concert hall."

"But they're still waiting for each other, aren't they?"

I couldn't hold back my tears anymore, and turned my head so that he wouldn't see me choking up and crying bitterly.

"He will always go to that place at sunset, and no one knows who he is missing and who he is waiting for." George gently held my hand and said softly, "I think it's time."

I stood where I was and watched George leave.The nurse pushed him away along the river, the night was falling, the stars were shining, his back was lonely and lonely.He should have suffered a lot over the years, and the collapse of his faith made it impossible for him to continue to maintain a high fighting spirit like in the past.I think he's been trying to reach me too, but it's not realistic for either of us.

The next day I went straight to the Moscow railway station and followed the October railway to Moscow.

Amber birch forests passed by outside the window, standing quietly and gently in the snow, I kept wiping my tears in the warm car, carefully covering up my crying.

Do people like to cry when they are old?Or am I just a crying person?

But did you see it?There were two figures in the birch forest. They ran in the forest, laughed, and became quiet again. They held each other's hands and turned to look at me.They are very young and beautiful children, looking at me, very affectionate and very sad.

I dare not look again.

Finally, I came to this place again.

Mayakovsky Square, Tchaikovsky Concert Hall.

I stretched out my hand, and a crystal snowflake fell on my woolen glove. It was a snowy day, a beautiful snowy day.

The Tchaikovsky Concert Hall was hidden behind the snow all over the sky, and it was as vague as a long memory. I walked slowly, but I didn't know whether I should go in or not.

Just standing here, the nose starts to sore, have you imagined that the scene that has been imagined countless times is about to happen?Am I really going to wait here for him?Look, the snow is getting bigger and bigger, will he come in this bad weather?

I found a bench under a tree and sat down, and tightened the Chester coat he bought for me back then. I have been reluctant to wear it all these years. When I came to Russia this time, I felt that I had to wear it no matter what, which surprised me. The strange thing is that after so many years, it still fits well when worn.

The snow seemed to be a little lighter. I sat here for nearly an hour, and it was a bit cold. I had to find a coffee shop on the square to buy a cup of hot coffee.I feel that I am really old, it doesn't matter if I change him.

So I continued to wait, and three hours later, it was four o'clock in the afternoon.You see, the snow is about to stop, and the beautiful sunset is spreading in the sky again. The dense orange penetrates the clouds and falls, coating the concert hall with a faint golden halo.What a gentle color, I couldn't help stretching out my hand, wanting to touch the glow.

Slow down, slow down... light, slow down...

The curled silk thread of the wool glove turned golden, and I was bathed in the warm glow, unknowingly intoxicated, and I didn’t know when, music started to play in the concert hall, and I woke up suddenly, accompanied by the melodious tune, ecstasy towards Go to the concert hall...

"Go to the shore--

the waves there,

will come to kiss your feet,

Mysterious and melancholy stars,

will shine above our heads. "

I read Pleseyev's poems in Russian, tears came down my face... I dare not listen to this piece for so many years, 30 years, 30 years...

One step, two steps, three steps... I approached the concert hall step by step, but suddenly stopped.

As if guided by somewhere, I stared blankly to the left.

The next second, I cried out.

Glittering silver hair in the setting sun, rippling green eyes, lonely and sad figure in the snow...

The moment our eyes met, I opened my arms, showed the happiest smile in the world, and strode towards him.

I walked towards him, stepping on the fallen residual snow, bathed in the golden sunlight, accompanied by Tchaikovsky's June boat song, I walked towards him.

I walked towards him, hugging him warmly, kissing his gentle and sad eyes, touching his old face, I walked towards him.

I walked toward him, with 30 years of separation and a lifetime of unalterable love, I walked toward him.

I walk towards him.

I, towards him, walk.

Finish

BY: Meidai

2022.1.6

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PS: The finale has been written very early, and there is an important postscript, please remember to read it.