God said I would meet you

Lin Jinyu was dumbfounded, he said, "What?"

"Have you ever done it? It means ML, the verb version of sleeping, the thing you love to do," Lin Ye said; "Do you understand?"

Lin Jinyu's first reaction was that he noticed some embarrassing clues in the car... But he thought it was impossible, they obviously didn't get into someone else's car...

He said: "Actually, I don't know very well about men and how men can be..."

"..." Lin Ye thought to himself: I am really obliged to take care of the children.He said: "That's..."

After going on and on like this, Lin Jinyu felt that after functions, solid geometry, and coordinate quadrants, there were many things in her knowledge base that she didn't need for the time being.

Lin Ye went on to say: "There is no need to be shy. When you become independent and out of society, you will find that this is a very common thing that adults do. It is just a part of life."

Lin Jinyu said, "No..."

Not really, but it doesn't seem like there is at all.

"Really?"

Lin Jinyu's eyeballs flickered back and forth, and finally said: "Use... your hands to count."

"Oh, it means there is still," Lin Ye said, "OK, then I'm 100% sure that he's not a straight man."

Lin Jinyu's heart beat wildly: "What do you mean..."

Lin Ye said: "In this sense, he is not a pure straight man. As for whether he is pure gay or not, we have to wait and see."

This means...is it possible for Zhang Xinli to like me?Lin Jinyu's heart was like a typhoon of grade [-] passing through, and there were huge waves several people high everywhere: "How is this possible..."

"How is it impossible?" Lin Ye's expression became a little more serious: "Okay, after talking about what you like to hear, let's talk about what you don't like to hear..." He said slowly: "Although he is not straight Male, but I think... you'd better not develop a more intimate relationship with him... because there is a high probability that there will be no good results."

Lin Jinyu frowned: "Why?"

Lin Ye said very seriously: "Because he can't accept himself."

It's as if I can accept myself. It's not bad for two people who can't accept themselves to be together, Lin Jinyu thought to himself... In fact, compared with the beginning, he is much better. He used to be a listener To the "Tongxinlian" who yelled people not to talk about it.

"I'm not forcing you or preaching to you," Lin Ye said: "It's just a personal suggestion... If we fall in love with someone who can't accept us, there must be no good results. Think about it for yourself, even if your straight boyfriend is really I like you as much as you like him, but if he doesn't even dare to admit a word in an upright manner, how can you spend the remaining decades with him."

Decades... so far away, who knows whether I will still like him or he will still like me after decades, let alone go on together.

But he had to admit that Lin Ye's words made sense.Lin Jinyu was silent for a moment, and asked, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Just say what you want," Lin Ye looked at the greenery in front of the windshield: "...Did you know that when I was in middle school, there was no well-developed Internet, and there were no random dating apps. There is no way to be "self-taught" like you. Once you use the software, you will have companions around you. We are more seniors... Let's call it seniors. We are led by seniors to get in touch with more of the same kind. Start making friends."

Lin Jinyu listened quietly, and Lin Ye continued: "The person who brought me into the circle is very good...His boyfriend is also very good, handsome, and generous. He has always been a model couple in the eyes of others."

The car door cut off the sound of the outside world, Lin Ye said in the confined space: "...But his boyfriend never dared to disclose their relationship to anyone outside the circle, not even to good friends, let alone family members , Then one day, he suddenly told seniors that he is actually a twin, and now he is going back to get married."

"Married?" Lin Jinyu showed an expression of disbelief: "Isn't he gay, why marry?"

"That's right, that person didn't even watch AV, and then he said that he was a double..." Lin Ye said, "That's bullshit."

Lin Jinyu felt extremely uncomfortable: "This... is this not acceptable from a moral point of view?"

"Of course not," Lin Ye said, "but there are quite a few of them. Those who are ashamed to admit themselves, those who dare not face the eyes of the society... The person I'm talking about getting married is not a bad person, it's just... …couldn’t accept myself, you know?”

Lin Jinyu said: "The suffering I have suffered is not an excuse to pass the suffering on to others."

"You're right," Lin Ye said, "but what I want to tell you is, stay away from your straight boyfriend, whether he loves you or not. Wait for him to walk towards you instead of you walking towards him .”

Lin Jinyu understands the truth, but emotionally, a person cannot control himself not to get close to the person he likes.

"Actually, no matter what happens to us in the future, it has nothing to do with you, doesn't it?" Lin Jinyu knew that Lin Ye was a 100% pure and natural gay without impurities, and he said, "Why do you keep telling me not to... and In front of Zhang Xinli last time, he actually said he liked my... face."

He spoke cryptically, but Lin Ye cleverly understood the meaning conveyed under the surface of his hesitation.

He smiled and said, "I don't deny that I really like your looks, but I don't like falling in love with children." Lin Ye took out Lin Jinyu's mobile phone from the storage box that came with the car seat and handed it to him: " You are about the same age as my brother."

Lin Jinyu tentatively asked, "What kind of brother is your brother...?"

"Ah, the younger brother, the one who is related by blood." Lin Ye shrugged and made a helpless gesture: "It's a pity that he hates gay...of course he also hates me."

Lin Jinyu picked up the phone and saw her confused face reflected on the screen.

"I've said everything I need to say. Now it's time to send you home." Lin Ye turned on the ignition again, looked at Lin Jinyu in the rearview mirror, and said, "Don't give your feelings to someone who can't accept you. Maybe now You'll feel the pain, but after a while, you'll get to know a lot of people, other better people ... don't make the same mistakes as countless people."

……

These words occupied Lin Jinyu's mind. He seemed to be out of his body. When he came back to his senses, he found that his legs had been driven by inertia to go up and down the elevator, unlock and open the door. , took him home.

Surprisingly, his parents are at home today.

Lin Jinyu took off her shoes and entered the door, and asked with some doubts: "Dad? Why did you come back so early?"

Lin Huainan was watching TV on the sofa, but when he saw him come back, he said, "It's rare for you to come back, so of course we have to find time to have dinner together."

Lin Jinyu was very happy to have dinner with his family, but the good mood he had sprouted because of this incident did not last long.

After the dishes were served, when Zhang Xinli sat next to Lin Jinyu as usual, Lin Huainan said, "Xiao Zhang, sit on Uncle's side, there are a lot of meat and vegetables here, and you are growing up, and Uncle also It's convenient to talk to Xiaoyu."

Zhang Xinli didn't doubt that he was there, so he got up and changed positions.

Lin Huainan was on the opposite side, the farthest place on the table from Lin Jinyu. Lin Jinyu's good mood came to an abrupt end because of this small gesture.

But he couldn't say anything.Lin's mother put the same dish for both of them, and said to Lin Jinyu, "Hurry up, we finally have a meal together, why are you staring at your father?"

Lin Jinyu looked away and said, "It's nothing."

Lin Huainan didn't say anything, just ate normally.

"Xiaoyu," Mother Lin said, "The teacher said that your grades have dropped a lot in the last few exams. What's going on?"

What's going on... because of restlessness, conflict, uneasiness, anxiety, lack of mind, and inability to get it.

Lin Jinyu kept playing Lin Ye's words on a loop in his mind. He knew very well what was bothering him, but he said, "I don't know."

"Can you understand in class? Do you want to enroll in a cram school? If you have any questions, you should communicate with the teacher more."

Lin Jinyu has always hated those cram schools that cost hundreds of dollars in an afternoon, even though other people haven't had the chance to attend them yet.

"Don't," Lin Jinyu complained, "I only have one day off in a week, and I still report to work, isn't it killing me?"

"Then you should study hard on your own," Lin Huainan said, holding a bowl, "How can you improve your grades, and then regress and not sign up for classes? High school is not junior high school. This is the most important stage for you."

Important, important, important... Lin Jinyu has heard similar rhetoric countless times. He knows it's important, but so what if he knows it?

He said impatiently, "Got it."

"Ask the teacher if there is anything you don't understand or something you don't know how to do." Mother Lin said, "Or just ask your brother, isn't your weakness exactly Xiao Zhang's strength?"

Zhang Xinli said, "No, Jinyu's grades are better than mine."

Lin Jinyu glanced at him secretly. Zhang Xinli now has to attend classes and practice. Sometimes he can't come to the last one or two classes in the afternoon. His progress is not as great as in the first semester... Although he is still the best among all the special students that one.

Mother Lin said: "Be humble. In short, you two brothers should communicate more and learn from each other's strengths."

Lin Huainan coughed, and said, "Well...Xiaoyu would like to ask the teacher more when she has time, after all, the teacher must have explained it more clearly."

Lin Jinyu can hear these words, anyway, there are only a few opinions from parents, and they are all standing on the shore to give advice, and they will not actually guide you on even one topic.

He found it boring and ended the conversation with an "oh" cleanly.

After the meal, it seemed to be calm on the surface. After Lin Jinyu finished eating, he cleaned up the dishes and put them in the sink. Zhang Xinli just finished eating at the same time. He stretched out his hand in Lin Jinyu's direction, wanting to help him put it away as usual.

Lin Jinyu could feel his father looking at them, he didn't dare to give Zhang Xinli.

"No need," Lin Jinyu said a little coldly, "I have hands, let me put them away." After speaking, she avoided his hands, and went to the pool to put the bowl by herself.

Zhang Xinli was rejected by him, and without saying anything, he followed him and put a bowl.

Mother Lin said: "Xiaoyu, brother kindly asked you, why are you in such a tone."

Lin Jinyu was expressionless, and under Lin Huainan's gaze, he said, "That's the tone."

This slightly rude attitude aroused her mother's dissatisfaction, and just as Lin's mother was about to get angry, Lin Huainan said, "Forget it, Xiao Yu probably let Xiao Zhang let it go because he was considerate of the inconvenience of Xiao Zhang's feet."

This statement is reasonable and reasonable, and it is far-fetched.Mother Lin said: "If someone asks him kindly, no matter how the tone is, it's impolite. I'm afraid that the two of them will have conflicts."

"What kind of conflicts can a child have?" Lin Huainan signaled her not to think too much, rolled up her sleeves and went to wash the dishes: "The child will handle the child's affairs by himself, and we will not interfere."

His policy towards his son has always been to free him. Lin Jinyu obviously knew that his father knew everything but was talking nonsense, but he couldn't justify himself.

He thought of two idioms to describe the current situation of their family, one is 'same bed, different dreams' and the other is 'each has a ghost'.

Lin Jinyu said, "I'm going in to do my homework."

Lin Huainan said while boiling the water: "Go ahead, put your phone outside, concentrate on writing, don't close the door and play by yourself."

Lin Jinyu put away her phone, went back to her room and closed the door, took out her homework and began to grind.

After he had been writing for a while, he heard someone knock on the door. Lin Jinyu put down his pen and went to open the door. He saw Zhang Xinli standing outside with his homework.

"Your mother said let me write math with you."

From the direction of the living room came the sound of the TV news host's correct voice and Lin Huainan's voice. Lin Jinyu said, "Oh...but no, I can write it myself." After speaking, he closed the door before Zhang Xinli could reply.

Zhang Xinli blocked it with his hands, he grabbed the edge of the white door, and said, "Your mother said that we must write together."

"What are you writing together? She just wants you to teach me unilaterally, tool man." Lin Jinyu said, "I'm not that shameless. I came to waste your time, so there's no need."

According to what Lin Jinyu knew about Zhang Xinli in the past, he didn't like a hot face with a cold ass. He asked out of politeness, but the other party refused to say anything, and his attitude was not gentle. Now he should turn his head and leave, but it was beyond his expectation. , Zhang Xinli did not leave this time.

"Do you think that what I wrote are all standard answers, and I will teach you," Zhang Xinli said, "I haven't finished writing, let's write together."

Outside the door, for some unknown reason, Lin Huainan's voice suddenly became a little louder. Lin Jinyu felt a little anxious, and he said, "I want to write it myself, so you can write it yourself too?" After speaking, he tried to close the door for the second time.

Zhang Xinli pressed against the door again. After wrestling with Lin Jinyu for half a second, he forcefully pushed the door open, then squeezed into the room and walked straight towards his desk.

Lin Jinyu asked behind him, "What are you doing?"

Zhang Xinli walked to Lin Jinyu's desk, and the test paper lay crookedly on the table. The draft paper next to it was full of meaningless ghostly lines. On the messy lines, there were three words like ghostly lines: I'm so annoying.

"Is this what you said you wrote yourself?"

"..." Lin Jinyu said, "It's none of your business."

"It's none of my business," Zhang Xinli said, "but if you have something to say, can you speak directly?"

"What did I say..." Lin Jinyu didn't quite understand what he meant.

The closed door blocked the noisy noise from the direction of the living room, and he couldn't even hear Lin Huainan's voice. Zhang Xinli stood in front of the desk and looked at him, and said, "What did that man tell you? Why are you so old?" Is it so cloudy and uncertain?"

"Who is it... Lin Ye?" Lin Jinyu looked away and said, "I didn't say anything, I just took my phone and said 'thank you', 'I'm sorry' and 'goodbye'."

In fact, he did say something that shocked him a lot. Lin Jinyu had a ghost in his heart, and his eyes were not particularly firm.

"Impossible," Zhang Xinli said, "Your overall state is different from what it was after school."

"You can still see how I'm doing," Lin Jinyu said, "Whenever you learn the skills, teach me."

His bad words failed to blur the focus and change the subject, Zhang Xinli still asked, "What did you say?"

"Is it important what you said?" Lin Jinyu didn't understand why he kept asking this: "Today I talked to Xu Zhao, Huang Jiayao, Qiao Qian and the whole class. report to you one by one?"

"Why is it not important," Zhang Xinli said, "Do you know that he likes..."

He didn't say the second half of the sentence, but Lin Jinyu understood it silently.

He said, "Oh... I know, so so what."

"You know, know that you are still so close to him?"

Lin Jinyu asked back, "Why do you stay away from him?"

"He likes..." Zhang Xinli looked at him in disbelief: "You know this, but you still want to get closer to him?"

"Whether he likes it or not is his business, and it's his freedom. It's none of my business." Lin Jinyu said lightly, "I know you dislike this thing, you may find it... dirty or disgusting, it doesn't matter, that's you too freedom of."

He was actually very sad when he said this, his nasal cavity seemed to be filled with sour liquid suddenly, but he still had to pretend nothing had happened.

"I didn't..." Zhang Xinli said, "You are not afraid that one day you will be taken over by him... If you don't like it, keep your distance, and don't give the other party the illusion that you are the same as him."

Taken by him?Lin Jinyu laughed in his heart, he thought: If this kind of thing can be taken well by others, then I like you so much, why don't you like me a little bit.

He said in a very incomprehensible tone: "Crazy, you will like whoever you should like, whether you take it or not... If I like you, will you like me? Nonsense."

Zhang Xinli seemed to be savoring his words. He thought for a few seconds, and then slowly said in a half-declarative, half-questioning tone: "...do you like me?"

Even though she knew that the other party was simply trying to understand his analogy through mechanical repetition, Lin Jinyu still felt a wave of turmoil in her heart... That extremely familiar half-sour and half-sweet feeling emerged again.

Fuck it, he suddenly wanted to go crazy, and impulsively admitted it.So what if you like it, if you like it, like it, even if you don't like me and think I'm abnormal, I want to tell you how I feel... What consequences, no friends can be made, leave it to tomorrow.

Lin Jinyu said, "I..."

Suddenly there were three rhythmic knocks on the door. Lin Huainan stood at the door and said, "Xiaoyu, did you do your homework? You won't be playing in there again?"

If the consequences of speaking out only need to be borne by one person, Lin Jinyu already has the courage to put all his eggs in one basket, but the consequences are not as good as he expected, falling on his shoulders alone.

Lin Jinyu said: "I... how could I mean that? Are you crazy? Did you hear the word 'nonsense' after that? Do you understand the analogy?"

His father was still asking him at the door, and Lin Jinyu said loudly, "I'm writing! I put my phone outside! Don't disturb me, can you?"

There was no sound outside the door. Lin Jinyu pushed Zhang Xinli's elbow, opened the door, and signaled him to go back and do his own homework: "That's it, have you finished what you should say? I haven't done a lot of homework, you can come to me again." My dad is going to beat me up for chatting nonsense, please don't hurt me, thank you."

He said: "...It is my freedom to make friends with anyone. I don't mind who they like. If you don't like it, keep your distance."

Zhang Xinli seemed to want to say something to him, but Lin Jinyu pushed him out and closed the door directly.

Lin Jinyu looked at the closed door with a well-proportioned white paint, and stood there for a while without moving.

He said in his heart: I'm sorry, I just want to protect you.

Lin Jinyu thought: If only I were a girl, it would be fine. If I were a girl, those words could be blurted out, and some things could be done in the open...no need to cover up, no need to be sneaky.

This unhappy conversation came to an end just like this... In fact, it was a long time later that Lin Jinyu realized that he had actually misunderstood at that time. Zhang Xinli's unfinished sentence was actually "Do you know that he likes you", but Lin Jinyu But I thought that sentence was "Do you know that he likes men".