Countdown to Yin Yang Classics

At the graduation ceremony, Cheng Yu, an outstanding graduate of the school, was giving a speech on the stage.

The mood of the audience below is just like the hot father-in-law above his head, full of enthusiasm.

In fact, Cheng Yu was still a little bit reluctant to participate in this event as an outstanding graduate representative, but the director said that their entire department was crooked, and he looked like a normal person.

The graduation ceremony was videotaped throughout, and then edited out, as a promotional video for the school, which is useful when recruiting students.

two hours ago.

Cheng Yu, who was still watching the basketball game in the dormitory, was called to the office by the head of the department, Lou Yan.

Director Lou: "About this graduation ceremony, Cheng Yu, come and sit first. Several of our teachers discussed it, and we think our department will send you there."

Cheng Yu tilted his head and paused, "Huh???" Isn't this matter already decided?

The director of the building thought that Cheng Yu was unwilling, so he took his hand and persuaded him: "It is a common saying that when the sky will send a great mission to the people, you must first work hard on your mind and your muscles..." "Hungry his body, empty his body , Xingfu messed up what he did, so he was tempted and patient, and he benefited what he couldn't do." Cheng Yu took the director's words in one breath. 【①】

Lou Yan: "Good job!"

Come on, it's all fucking bullshit!Isn't it just because of my brother's face that I want to trick some nympho girls into applying for our department to increase the popularity!But the speech belongs to the speech, why get started!

Cheng Yu shook off the building director's claws embarrassingly, trying to squeeze out a smile, and was furious in his heart: don't beat me!

Director Lou: "After our comprehensive consideration, we still feel that you represent our department to speak on stage. You won't object, will you?"

"Okay, Director, I understand." Cheng Yu answered very simply.

After all, the graduation certificate and bachelor's degree certificate are still with the director, and there is the most important item, that is, the ear picking at the graduation ceremony.In Cheng Yu's subconscious mind, a college graduate who has not worn a bachelor's suit and fringed is not a qualified graduate.Especially at the critical moment of graduation, he is very concerned about this sense of ritual.

The director of the building frowned, picked up the purple sand pot on the table, turned sideways and drank a couple of sips, then suddenly paused, the funny look made Cheng Yu wonder for a moment whether the director had suffered a stroke or hemiplegia?

Cheng Yu was really afraid that the wig on his head would fall off, so he swallowed and remained silent.

After putting down the teapot, the director of the building praised him: "Well, he is really a good boy, both in image and professional ability, he is very good."

Cheng Yu put on a smirk: "Director, your hairstyle today is Hong Kong style in the 90s? And isn't it hot for you to wear a suit this summer?"

Isn't he fragrant with the breeze in his arms?Isn't it cool in the Mediterranean?

Director Lou: "Hehe, you have a good eye! Today, for your graduation ceremony, I specially prepared Chinese tunic suits and hairstyles. So when it's our department's turn, we should perform well, you know?"

"Hmm." Cheng Yu said lazily.Then you are so delicate, and you even styled the wig and baked it with oil.I don't care, I'm just afraid that something will happen to you in this body.

At this moment, under the attention of thousands of people, Cheng Yu continued his insincere 'heartfelt' speech:

"...Actually, I am very grateful to my teachers, friends, and classmates. It is because of your crazy spurs and blows that I have proved that I am an unbeatable Xiaoqiang. But," he paused, Because the host on the stage was standing aside and urging him to finish speaking quickly.

But Cheng Yu looked at Father-in-law Sun's coverage and passionate heart on the playground, pursed his lower lip, and continued to speak slowly.

Damn, doesn't the weather forecast say it will rain today?Why did Lei Gong and Dian Mu miss work today!

With a kind face on his face, he said slowly, "But, colleagues, after graduating today, everyone will go their separate ways. Couples should get married and break up. As for the contact information, what should we do?" Pull the black, pull the black, delete the one that should be deleted. Make a bed, turn left when you go out, from now on, the mountains are high and the water is wide, the world is far away, and we can roll as far as we can..."

"Cheng Yu!" The director who was only three or four meters away from him on the stage stood up from his seat and called out.

A certain person continued to speak cheekily, as if he had drunk a lot of Erguotou before taking the stage to boost his courage, and his tone of voice instantly raised several degrees: "Actually, the reason why I can stand here today and talk nonsense is entirely thanks to our building director. He said that we are all a bunch of crooked people, but I still look like a human being."

The audience roared with laughter.

"I thought at the time that feelings are in the eyes of the director. Among us, I am the only rookie. Otherwise, other students are busy building the motherland and adding bricks and tiles to the motherland. I am only worthy of being on stage. Grumbling. Don’t you think so?”

A group of girls below followed suit and booed: "Yes!"

The director of the building turned pale and almost had a heart attack.

Gritting his teeth, he whispered: "You boy, wait for me!"

"...Our school has a history of more than 200 years. It can be said that there are many talents and successors. But our department, which is called Shaolin Temple in our school, has too many monks and too few porridge. Every year, we are ridiculed because we can't find a girlfriend, and we are depressed. There are also many brothers. Therefore, for the mental health of our male compatriots, it is recommended to lower the admission score, even if it is a little bit."

He made a gesture, but it seemed that he made a wrong move and accidentally made a gesture.

The girl in the front row below screamed and even threw away the parasol in her hand.

Cheng Yu did not give up his "heartfelt" speech because of this episode: "Otherwise, I reasonably suspect that our department will go bankrupt within three years! Look at the decline in the number of our department for five consecutive years. It's a diving slide. That gentle scum and sour scholar from the foreign language department next door took advantage of everyone's unpreparedness and abducted the only flower we hold on our hearts, and asked if he was angry?"

The audience echoed: "Qi!"

"Do you really have the heart to watch the director's Mediterranean develop step by step and finally turn into pebbles?

The audience laughed from ear to ear: "Hahahahaha~"

"As an outstanding graduate, I think that a reasonable and sincere suggestion is my ardent hope for my alma mater when I graduate. The above is the most sincere speech of my students. I hope that leaders and students will not Care, it’s best to go in the left ear and out the right ear, because—”

He suddenly paused and looked not far away.

Because of what?

Everyone on and off the stage stared at Cheng Yu.

Father Sun slowly hid in the clouds, and the distant sky began to dim.Dark clouds shrouded together, and there was a muffled thunder, and then, a flash of lightning flashed across the sky.

While everyone was shocked by the flash of lightning and the muffled thunder, a smile finally appeared on Cheng Yu Qingjun's face on the stage: "Because, because Lei Gong and Dian Mu have finally clocked in for work! I have wasted everyone's time for so long, listen to me!" I'm sorry to talk nonsense, I have self-knowledge, get on the horse, get on, get out, fuck—"

As the last sound fell, someone on the stage had long since disappeared.

tick-tock-

It's raining.

"Come quickly, the director of the building has fainted!" A female teacher on the stage exclaimed.

Several students from the medical department below immediately took the stage.

The director of the building lying on the ground rolled his eyes firmly and said the last sentence: "You son of a turtle who was struck by lightning!"

"I said something was going to happen." Cheng Yu listened to the sound behind him, holding his graduation certificate and bachelor's degree certificate, and fled away from the crowd in a hurry.

Under the boys' dormitory, Cheng Yu stood in front of the window of the dormitory master, raised his hand and patted the window: "Master, are you there?"

pop - pop - pop -

He even called and tapped the window for about 10 minutes, but no one in the house responded.

The door of the dormitory building was obviously unlocked, but he couldn't push it or pull it open.

Cheng Yu was puzzled, didn't he just attend a graduation ceremony?I ran back to the dormitory building before the heavy rain. Why didn't I see a single person on the entire campus along the way, and it was quiet and strange.

He pinned his graduation certificate and bachelor's degree certificate on his lower back, and wrapped his bachelor's suit around it to ensure that they would not fall and get wet.Then he gritted his teeth, walked to the side of the dormitory building, looked at the window of his own dormitory, and rubbed his hands.

The sky overhead had darkened again, and now the wind was blowing again.Cheng Yu walked to the big tree on the first floor, and couldn't help shivering: "Why is it so cold?" He almost made his tongue roll out.

He patted his lower back to make sure that the certificate would not be affected during the climbing process, so he gave it a go and prepared to climb up the big tree on the side of the dormitory building, enter the dormitory passage through the window, and then reach his own floor. Use the key to open the dormitory door and change your clothes.

Cheng Yu used to be on the school football team, and he was pretty good at it. It was not difficult for him to climb a tree seven or eight meters high.

Seeing that it was about to arrive, the strange thunder and lightning suddenly descended.

Cheng Yu couldn't dodge it, "Ah——"

The moment the thunder and lightning touched his body, Cheng Yu regretted that he complained about the enthusiasm of the sun father-in-law yesterday, and prayed for the days of the thunder father and the mother.

The moment the body was volleyed by the electric current, the whole world was gray.

In front of the building of the Chinese Department, in the fan-shaped corridor.

There are seven people in pink clothes.

The leader, Old K, was carrying an iron rod on his shoulders, with a cigarette in his mouth, leaning against the stone pillar in the corridor. The scar on his right forehead made others fear him.

There are six other people around him: one is a couple, one is a female teacher, one is a male white-collar worker, one is a female junior high school student, and the other is Jiwotou wearing a headband for postgraduate entrance exams.

"How long do we have to wait?" the male white-collar worker suddenly asked, they had been silent for a long time.

Old K said: "I don't know. That guy said that we need one more person before we can leave here, otherwise everyone will die."

That guy is a person who even the old K is afraid of, and he was already a player when the old K came in.

The junior high school students and their couples were taken aback. Only the short-haired female teacher opened her mouth, and finally helped the frame of the mirror and said nothing.Jiwotou seemed a little impatient, walked to the stone pillar in the corridor, kicked his foot, immediately screamed in pain, and sat down on the ground, not daring to move.

The woman in the couple looked this way and whispered to her boyfriend, "He, he seems to have broken his toe..."

"you sure?"

"I'm a medical student, so I can't hear you wrong."

"Look who dares to move!" Old K looked at the chicken coop, the end of the iron rod in his hand was resting on the ground, and he made a 'squeaky' sound, which was very ear-piercing and unpleasant.He walked up to the couple, raised his hand, pointed the iron rod at the woman among them, and gave instructions: "You, go and show him!"

No one dared to disobey the old K's order, and the iron rod in his hand was the best deterrent.

The crowd continued to remain silent, waiting.

After a while, there was a loud bang from the other end of the corridor.

Everyone looked at Old K in unison.

"It seems that the last unlucky guy is here!" Old K pulled a smile on his grim face.

【Congratulations to the ninth player coming】

A voice that sounded a bit like a middle-aged man played it nine times in a row.

Old K counted carefully in his heart, and after confirming that he was right, he continued to move forward.

Male white-collar: "Do you think the last player is male or female?"

"I hope it's a man." Old K said coldly.The female teacher pulled the junior high school students to follow behind him.

When everyone reached the end of the corridor, they found that the last player was lying on the ground, his clothes were torn and torn, as if burnt, and even a bunch of hair was burned off.

"Hey, it seems that this one is really different, as if he came directly from the fire scene." The male white-collar worker said.

The female teacher let go of the junior high school student's hand, took a few steps forward to observe, and then said, "He was struck by lightning."

"Fuck! Got struck by lightning? Then this should be the weirdest way of appearance here. Hahahahaha~ Is it still alive?" He was thrown to the ground by a stream of water.

Everyone turned their heads and saw the guy behind Old K with a fire hose on his shoulder, and they were all shocked.

It was the first time they had met this man, but Old K had already met him once.Because when he came in, this guy knocked out one of his front teeth, received him in this way, and ordered him to receive subsequent players for him.

Cheng Yu felt that his chest was tight and uncomfortable, not the anxious feeling after being struck by lightning, but a landlubber who was about to drown.He slowly opened his eyes, and in his sight, several pink piggies were watching around him.

"I'm going, the young master is not dead!" Cheng Yu panted, feeling the eyes around him and his wet and embarrassed appearance, he couldn't help but sneezed.After his eyes were completely clear, he realized that the man at the end passed Peppa Pig and the others, carrying a fire hose to urinate himself.Cheng Yu immediately went into a rage: "Are you fucking sick? Give me a fire hose!"

The sick person slapped him on the forehead several times, and only after he was completely soaked did he throw away the fire hose.Sweeping cold eyes towards Cheng Yu, he said lightly: "Life needs a sense of ritual. Welcome to join us, the unlucky one who was struck by lightning."

Cheng Yu: My day!God damn sense of ritual!

I was excited for a while, my eyes were full of stars, and I was dizzy!

Cheng Yu just sat up and fell down again.

The author has something to say:

【①】: Excerpt from "Mencius-Gaozi II"

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The main subject is 1V1, HE, thrilling and fun sand sculpture~

Thank you all for taking the time to read (bows)