my scheming human boyfriend

unacceptable!

Too much, too much!

Jian Wuxu was trembling with anger. He not only wanted to reprimand this kind of behavior of parents threatening their children with their health, but also worried that if he spoke out, it would make Bai Jinyi even more uncomfortable.

He couldn't help looking at Bai Jinyi, but saw Bai Jinyi's cheeks twitching slightly.

Every tremor is from the heart, the pain that cannot be resolved.

In an instant, Jian Wuxu's distress far outweighed her anger.He wanted to take out the ecstasy book to read it, but he was afraid that when he opened it, he would see numbers that he couldn't bear.

"...Mom." Bai Jinyi's voice trembled a little. He took several deep breaths before saying the rest, "You mean, unless I break up with Jian Wuxu, you won't go for treatment?"

"Are you questioning your mother?" Bai Peiyun was furious!

"That's right, that's what I meant." Compared to Bai Peiyun's anger, Mei Xiangzhen seemed to be relieved by this blunt inquiry. Her body shook slightly, and then stabilized again, "I didn't I can't watch you go on like this, I can't watch you ruin the rest of your life, I can't watch you go to a dead end, unless I die before you!..."

With a "snap", the light sources all went out, and the room was instantly dark. Mei Xiangzhen's voice also broke suddenly, as if being cut by scissors.

The darkness is like a silent cover, covering and extinguishing all quarrels.

So quiet for a few breaths.

"...Is there a power outage?" Mei Xiang Zhenchi asked.

"Probably not. I heard a sound. It's tripped. I'll go check the switch box." Bai Peiyun replied.

When the eyeballs recovered from the sudden darkness, Bai Jinyi saw a faint light source, not the moonlight and street lamps coming in from the window, but Jian Wuxu.

In the living room, Jian Wuxu's transparent body shone slightly.He stood in front of the electric switch in the house, avoiding Bai Peiyun who was groping past in the dark, a little at a loss.

"Teacher Bai, I've pulled the switch, you guys, don't make noise..."

He suddenly thought of something, walked through the darkness, and drifted towards Bai Jinyi:

"By the way, can we go? Just like last time, we escaped from the dormitory!"

Of course Bai Jinyi remembered.

On that rainy night, Jian Wuxu raised her open cloak, like the wings of an angel, as if it could take him anywhere in the world.

"If, if you can't leave, we can still send messages to the students!" Jian Wuxu wanted to find a solution, "Ms. Bai, give me your mobile phone, and I will secretly send messages to the students, saying that I will tutor them and let them Come home, so Teacher Bai's parents won't have time to quarrel with Teacher Bai..."

Bai Jinyi can imagine.

As long as he nodded, how could Jian Wuxu use his mobile phone to quickly send everyone a message, and in order to avoid the restriction of "teachers making up lessons in private", one, two, three, from nine to eleven, four, five, six, From eleven o'clock to one o'clock...

Bai Jinyi imagined following Jian Wuxu's words, and his heart recovered from the ischemic stagnation because of the pictures described by Jian Wuxu.

Bai Jinyi held Jian Wuxu's hand, treasured it, and put his five fingers into the other's five fingers.

"Dad, Mom."

Bai Jinyi's low voice resounded in the darkness.

"Don't turn on the light. This is the right time. Listen to me.

Turn on the light, maybe I won't be able to say all the things in my heart.

I know that you are all for my own good, and parents are all for their children's good.You are doing your best to help me and hope that my life can go more smoothly.

Whether it is asking me to be a teacher or a blind date, you all hope that I can walk a little easier on the road you have already taken to success.

Mom, do you remember?Originally, I didn't want to be a teacher, so I had a dispute with you, Mom, that was the first time your illness broke out.

Over the years, I have been very guilty, and I have always wondered, if we hadn't argued, wouldn't your condition not be induced, so that you would not have to suffer from chronic diseases all the time.

It is also because of this guilt that over the years, I have been afraid to tell you why I don't want to be a teacher.I thought it might be better for you to think that this was just my adult rebellion against my parents.

Because this kind of rebellion, after all, has passed.

I don't want you to worry, and I'm even more afraid to see your disappointed eyes. I don't want you to know that the child you are proud of is actually far from being that good.

This is what my fragile self-esteem deeply fears.

But perhaps, concealment is not the ultimate way out, maybe things can only be known and resolved if they are spoken out.

I……

I'm kind of afraid of meeting people, or rather, I'm terrified of meeting people.

Once there are too many strangers around me, I will feel nervous, I will have shortness of breath, and in severe cases, my hands and feet will be numb.I went to many hospitals to see a doctor. Some doctors said it was a mental illness, and some doctors tried to prescribe me some medicine.

But the meds didn't do anything other than slow down my thinking.

No, it is somewhat useful. After slowing down your thinking, you won't be so afraid of people.

But this feeling of sluggishness is like being paralyzed on the bed after a day of work, not wanting to do anything, and unable to do anything.

I found myself more afraid of the situation than I was afraid of the other person.

I was afraid that before I knew it, I would become a stone or a piece of wood, so I stopped taking the medicine.

I have been fighting the fear ever since.

But...maybe I'm really a weak person.

I am used to this idiom, but it cannot be applied to me. Now that I have been a teacher for three years, when I stand on the podium and meet students and parents, I still feel nervous and stiff.

I often think, why am I afraid of people?

I also told myself that this society is a society of people. Even if I don’t work as a teacher and do other work, I still need to contact people. If the vast majority of people in this world would not be afraid in contact with others, So why can't I do it?

Not too much to ask for, is it?

I'm supposed to do something that most people can do, right?

But, I'm really sorry, I've tried my best, but I still can't do anything.

Mom and Dad, I have failed your expectations. I have not grown into a healthy person according to your expectations... I hope, I hope you can understand.

This is also the reason why I can't step into marriage according to your expectations.

I am afraid of breaking into a stranger in my own space. This stranger makes me dare not even look directly at me, and I dare not even say a word, but I want to do the most intimate thing in the world with her, and I have to bear with her. The hardest responsibility in the world.

I know I can't do it.

No matter how hard I try, how reluctantly, I can't do it.

At that time, it was not only me who suffered, but also the person I married.

Marriage is not like work. After work is over, I can escape to go home; but if I want to escape even home, where else can I escape?

I can only choose one person that I can accept, that I can love.

It wasn't a tantrum, it wasn't a fight, I think, he saved me.

Mom and Dad, I really hope you can try to accept him.

Also accept..."

Bai Jinyi paused for a long time.

"It's not as good as you expected, and there are not such good children."

"You are not bad, you are very good!" Mei Xiangzhen directly denied, "You are my son, others don't know you, but mother doesn't know you? Bai Jinyi, you just lack something because you are too modest. Confidence. Mom knows your excellence and gentleness. As long as you want, you can do it well!"

Bai Jinyi listened in a daze.

His mouth was still opening and closing, but he couldn't utter a word.

At this time, his arm was pulled hard.

He staggered two steps, turned his head in the direction of the force, first caught a bright transparent color in his eyes, and then saw Jian Wuxu.Jian Wuxu pursed her lips, her face was stiff, and she tried very hard to pull Bai Jinyi away.

"Teacher Bai, let's go!"

He said, his voice was so firm, Bai Jinyi followed him two steps, they came to the entrance, Jian Wuxu opened the closed door directly.

The wind blows the frosty moonlight into the room.

The dark house turned white, and when his feet stepped into the frosty white, there was a sound of chaos behind him, and then his other hand was also grabbed.

"Bai Jinyi!" Mei Xiangzhen shouted anxiously behind him, "Where are you going?"

He turned around and saw his mother.

Mother's body is still hidden in the darkness, but her face has been illuminated by the moonlight.

Those teary eyes that had been hidden behind others and did not want to be seen were also exposed to others.

What I just said is not useless at all.

The meager joy hit Bai Jinyi's heart, but before Bai Jinyi could speak, Mei Xiangzhen softened her tone and said again: "Bai Jinyi, believe in mom, you can do it, you have always done a good job in the past, Mom believes in you, and you have to believe in yourself..."

"..."

Bai Jinyi couldn't believe himself.

I can no longer meet my mother's expectations.

With a slight movement of his arm, he broke free from Mei Xiangzhen's palm.He took two steps forward, left the dark house with Jian Wuxu, and walked under the moonlight.

Home is far away, parents are far away.

He and Jane Wuxu were in the bustling street, people around were hurrying, and the stopped street lamps dragged the shadows of everyone passing by, thin and long, and how much sorrow was contained in this thin shadow .

Bai Jinyi and Jian Wuxu walked for a long time in silence.

He noticed Jane Wuxu's hand, unconsciously clutching his small pocket.

In his small pocket, there is a book of ecstasy that can be used to see the value of the transaction.

"Let's have a look." Bai Jinyi said.

Jian Wuxu was taken aback: "Teacher Bai..."

"It doesn't matter." Bai Jinyi, "Actually, I'm also a little curious about how much my current deal is worth."

"But……"

"Things have developed to this point, and it will not change because you look at it or not. So, at least take a look, at least you have a bottom line, right?"

"..."

Jian Wuxu took out the book of ecstasy.

The thin notebook is extremely heavy in the hand.Jian Wuxu held it for a long time before opening it and taking a look.

Bai Jinyi walked forward as usual, and after two or three steps, he realized that Jian Wuxu hadn't followed. He stopped, turned around, and saw Jian Wuxu standing in the same position holding the book of ecstasy.

He walked back: "How much is it?"

This sentence is like the switch of Jane's threadless tear gland.As soon as Bai Jinyi finished speaking, big tears fell from Jian Wuxu's eyes, crackling and splashing on the book, even splashing small water on the book.

Jian Wuxu hurriedly raised her hand to wipe her tears.

"Bo..."

He tried hard several times, but failed to say the simple three words "Teacher Bai", so he could only give up this, and instead swallowed his saliva desperately, suppressed the choking in his throat, and tried his best to explain the numbers clearly.

"Yes... 98%."

"Ah."

Bai Jinyi calmly responded.

Vulnerability and sadness have been left in that dark room, in that heart-wrenching confession conversation.

The current Bai Jinyi hugged Jian Wuxu gently, and said apologetically:

"Sorry to make you sad again."

"However, don't be so sad. Although 98% is very high, I think I can still persist."