The whole e-sports circle is waiting for me to drop the horse

Ji Shiyan was slightly startled.

Adding up the two lives, he can be said to be the one who is most familiar with Chi Mian, and Chi Mian is the only one who won't wear a disguise mask that is too long to take off in front of him.

He has seen and personally endured the thoughtfulness, gentleness, strength, paranoia, terror, and madness in this man's character, but he has not seen his fragility in more than [-] years.

The tears on the side of the neck flowed more and more, and flowed into Ji Shiyan's collar along the collarbone and neckline. The scalding temperature made him feel a little overwhelmed.

After a while, he said: "Chi Mian."

The man holding him didn't respond.

Ji Shiyan sighed inwardly, turned sideways, put his hand on Chi Mian's shoulder: "Chi Mian, don't cry."

Then he changed his words again: "Forget it, you'd better cry, just cry out."

Chi Mian still didn't speak.

He didn't make any sound when crying, just shed tears silently, which made Ji Shiyan even more at a loss.

After a long time, the moisture on the shoulders slowed down a lot, and Ji Shiyan heard Chi Mian muttering to himself: "Yanyan, I'm so tired...why are you so tired to live...why don't they let me go..."

"Why did I kill you and treat Lu Chaokong like that, no one came to shoot me yet? Why did Chi Nanjing suppress everything for me? Is he so short of a so-called heir?"

"After you were fed the poison with my own hands, I was ready to go with you, but he said that if I dared to die, he would disband CJ, and said that you were sold to be adopted by me. It was your hard work and reputation. Ah Yanyan, I can't do it...why is this person so ruthless, I don't even have the qualifications to accompany you..."

Ji Shiyan fell silent.

In his previous life, he had been living next to Chi Mian. He only saw Chi Nanjing once, but that side made him deeply feel the contempt and contempt that this person had for him. In Chi Nanjing's eyes, he was like a bird. Ants that can be trampled to death at any time.

Ji Shiyan told Chi Mian that, and Chi Mian never let him appear in his world again.

Thinking about it now, maybe in order not to let Chi Nanjing disturb his normal life, Chi Mian did a lot behind the scenes.

Ji Shiyan pursed her lips, and spoke after a while, in a very soft voice: "Chi Mian, because you didn't let yourself go."

Chi Mian was taken aback.

He knew exactly what Ji Shiyan meant.

He was silent for a long time, then suddenly smiled, and tears flowed down while laughing: "Yanyan, you don't know, you are my everything. Without you, I lose everything."

Ji Shiyan's expression didn't change at all. If Chi Mian let go so easily, he wouldn't be named Chi anymore.

"Ok."

Ji Shiyan's tone was very indifferent, he stroked Chi Mian's protruding side face: "Then would you like to tell me your story, I don't seem to have really understood you before."

After a while, Chi Mian raised his head.

Ji Shiyan looked at the tear stains on his face, his previously energetic peach blossom eyes were full of exhaustion, and sighed softly, and wanted to get off Chi Mian's lap to get him a tissue, but Chi Mian quickly hugged him.

"Don't go."

Chi Mian said, "I'll get it."

Ji Shiyan compromised, and could only let him wrap his arm around her, bend down and reach for the tissue with the other.

But after Chi Mian brought it over, he just put it aside. Ji Shiyan knew that he wanted to wipe it for him, but he didn't move.

Chi Mian didn't care, put his arms around Ji Shiyan's waist, and slowly leaned back on the back of the sofa. Ji Shiyan was startled by his first sentence.

"I'm actually Chi Nanjing's illegitimate son."

"He didn't know I existed until I was 15 years old, which is one of the reasons why he looked down on me and hated me."

Ji Shiyan was stunned.

Chi Mian raised her head and let out a long breath.

"My mother was slept by Chi Nanjing more than [-] years ago. How could such a high-ranking, powerful, rich and conceited person wear a condom? It was my mother's first time. She didn't know anything, didn't know Fang Fang didn't know how to take medicine, and it took a long time after returning home to find out that she was pregnant."

"After she was tricked into bed by Chi Nanjing, she heard that he had a family. She didn't dare to look for him. She was even afraid that Chi Nanjing's wife would seek her out. She even quit her job and ran to a small county. "

Chi Mian smiled: "My mother is good at everything, but she is too cowardly. When I was a child, when I was ridiculed and insulted because I didn't have a father, and was bullied and beaten, I didn't even dare to talk back to the little kid. hold me and cry."

"But it's nothing. After being beaten into the hospital a few times, I knew that being strong is the only way to survive. After that, I was the one who protected my mother all the time."

"Although that small place is poor, there are no educational resources, and the people are not very qualified, but we lived a peaceful and happy life until that year, when Chi Nanjing came here."

Chi Mian closed her eyes: "His first wife passed away, leaving him only a daughter, that kind of family needs a son to inherit the family business."

"How many women in the circle want to marry him, because giving birth to a boy can inherit such a huge family business as the Chi family, but he doesn't know what's wrong, he is disgusted by the intrigue of these women, and suddenly he remembered that there was something wrong with him before. A girl who doesn't even ask for a penny to sleep with him."

"So he came to find my mother, but unexpectedly found that my mother gave birth to me behind his back."

"His personality is more cloudy than mine. He felt that my mother gave birth to me with his blood without telling him. This also means that I must inherit the Chi family. He didn't let him choose. Immediately I got angry and threatened my mother to make her wait, saying that she and I would not even think about it when we entered Chi's house."

"At that time, I was still in school. On the afternoon when I came home, a weak and incompetent person like my mother made the most daring and absurd decision in her life. She took the gift money from Chi's family and found someone her age to replace her. I'll send it to Chi's house."

Chi Mian laughed: "Why is she so stupid? Didn't she know there was a paternity test? She didn't tell me because she knew I would definitely object. She just lied to me and took me to the orphanage, and then Disappeared."

"I remember very clearly that I had just passed my 14th birthday. The day before, my mother told me that she wanted to drink rib soup. I came back from school and made it for her and ate at the same table with her. The next day she Just don't want me."

"Who would believe it? I thought she was joking, but after she sent me and my belongings to the orphanage, she couldn't find anyone anymore. The old house was also sold, and my original school also dropped me out."

Chi Mian opened her eyes and looked at Ji Shiyan: "I'm sorry, Yanyan, I had a bad temper when I first met you. I got angry at you many times and dropped things. It was my fault. I've been through so much, and I still can't accept this fucking life."

Ji Shiyan looked at Chi Mian and remained silent for a long time.

He didn't know what to say.

He knew that the one she wanted to take away was himself, maybe it was because he liked his obedient personality, wouldn't anger Chi Nanjing, and could live a better life?Or maybe it's because I feel that I have an eye disease and I don't have the ability to compete with other people in the circle, so I won't be targeted?

As if seeing what he was thinking, Chi Mian continued, "Yeah, originally my mother wanted to take you away, thinking you were obedient and obedient, Chi Nanjing might not take his anger out on you, but since Lu Chaokong came out, he insisted For you."

"My mother didn't have any opinions. Lu Chaokong talked with her for a long time and convinced her."

"Chi Nanjing trained Lu Chaokong as his heir, so he would naturally teach him a lot, but Lu Chaokong's ability is too strong, and his personality and comprehension ability are too far behind my mother, so Chi Nanjing still became suspicious."

Ji Shiyan remembered it, no wonder he saw that Lu Chaokong was very professional when he took the makeup photo, and Lu Chaokong had his own company at a young age, and the orphanage even struggled with basic education. This kind of business, investment, and entrepreneurial ability , How could it be possible to teach Lu Chaokong. "

There was also Lu Chaokong's hesitation when he asked how he knew Chi Nanjing.

It turned out to be this reason.

"At first, he thought that my mother was so weak, how dare she lie to him about this kind of thing. For more than two years, he never thought about doing a paternity test, until he accidentally found out that Lu Chaokong was starting his own business and recruiting talents, and he did it in a rage. I got a paternity test, took the result and asked my mother, and then I found out the truth."

Ji Shiyan lowered his eyes.

Chi Mian seemed to have lost all his strength, and leaned his head against Ji Shiyan's neck again, his shoulders were slightly slumped, and his voice was very soft: "He didn't do anything, it will affect his reputation if it is spread out, but it can defeat an already cowardly man. Women's psychology is too simple, he is cold, violent, disrespectful, insulting and slandering my mother, I was taken back to the Chi family every two years, my mother committed suicide due to depression."

"Before she died, she told me that she was sorry for Lu Chaokong. If I could help him in the future, I must help him. But Lu Chaokong didn't need my help. He took the money from the Chi family and learned at the price of my mother's life. With all his skills, he founded his own company and lived a prosperous life."

"Yanyan, I know he is protecting you in order to be able to protect you. My mother gave a lot of money to the orphanage and asked to take you away. He can only replace you with her body. It is to give him a fate of being poor and being rich and powerful. A powerful person plays with the powerlessness of change at will, so he bears the burden of humiliation with Chi Nanjing in order to change his and your insignificance and despair that may be easily used as pawns."

"But think about it differently. If you were the one who took you away, and if he didn't do those tricks in private, would my mother commit suicide before I was unable to protect her? Do you think I can't hate Lu Chaokong?"

Ji Shiyan fell silent.

From the perspective of Lu Chaokong and Chi Mian, he thought he would be in the same state of mind as them.

There is no such strict and clear dividing line between right and wrong in this world.

Even the ridiculous decision made by Chi Mian's mother was a gamble for a mother who was desperate to protect her child.

...but hurt two other innocent children.

Chi Mian didn't expect Ji Shiyan to answer him, and hugged the boy in his arms greedily, the tip of his nose was filled with the light fragrance of the shower gel on the latter.

He closed his eyes again, murmuring softly to himself.

"Do you know that no one has ever taken care of me and stood in front of me when I was being bullied, Yanyan, you are the first and only one."

"Chi Nanjing forces me to work every day, endless work, only when I go home and see you, will I feel that I am still an individual."

"I am a human being... Ever since I was a child, why no one thinks that I have the emotions of a normal person, that I am tired and sad, and that I want someone's shoulder to lean on for a short time."

"My mother relies on me. She thinks that I am a man and I should do everything for her. Indeed, she gave birth to me and I should repay this kindness, but I only know when I go to the orphanage and I am by your side. , It turns out that being taken care of by others is such a wonderful feeling. That period of time is the happiest memory in my life. Every time in the past three years, when I can’t make it, I will think of the past we have experienced, Yanyan, You are such a kind and gentle person, why should you be discredited?"

"It's a good thing you're back."

"Maybe the heavens can't bear to see an angel like you fall, Yanyan, how can you let me go."

Ji Shiyan lowered his eyes and sat there quietly. The two of them did not move for a long time. Under the dim light of the floor lamp, half of their body was bright and half of their body was dark, like a fusion of artworks.

He still asked, "Where's Yan Yu? Chi Mian, besides me, now you still have someone who treats you sincerely and is willing to take care of you."

Chi Mian raised her head: "I broke up with him the day I picked you up. Yanyan, I don't love him. I just want to...try to get myself out, but I find that I can't."

"I know."

Ji Shiyan said: "But he loves you. Chi Mian, you and I don't understand love. We have reached this point. The only thing left is to torture each other. You will be happy with him."

"When you broke up with him...or it doesn't even count as breaking up. He didn't ask for anything to stay by your side. Now when he is thrown away by you, he must have said nothing. He just accepted your departure calmly."

Ji Shiyan looked at him: "Chi Mian, this is love."

"It's not me he loves."

Chi Mian said: "What he loves is only my appearance in front of outsiders, my tenderness and consideration for him. That's not the real me."

Ji Shiyan smiled: "When you lost your temper in the restaurant, didn't he also help you deal with the aftermath? You may not know that he came to me a long time ago and apologized for me for pestering you. He He knows everything, he doesn't even care that you just treat him as my substitute. Chi Mian, you are deceiving yourself."

Chi Mian looked at him, her eyes were in a trance, her lips moved for a moment, but she changed the subject: "It's too late, Yanyan, go to sleep. I will leave tomorrow morning, I just want to see you."

Ji Shiyan didn't think that a few words could change him, so he answered and got up from his arms: "You have a fever, take some medicine."

"Don't worry about me, I'll sit alone for a while."

Chi Mian stood up and put the blanket over Ji Shiyan's body. Instead of withdrawing her hand immediately, she turned his body so that he faced herself.

Chi Mian's voice was very serious: "I don't know what Chi Nanjing is up to recently, he seems to have found out where you live, I will try my best to guard against him, but I don't know why, I have always felt uneasy these two days .”

"Ji Shiyan, you should never, ever trust him."

This was the first time Chi Mian called her full name.

Ji Shiyan was startled for a moment, but suddenly remembered that Lu Chaokong said that if necessary, he would go to Chi Nanjing to cooperate.

He was silent for a while, and then said "hmm".

That night Chi Mian didn't sleep with him, but just watched him go upstairs, and he didn't see Chi Mian again after he got up the next day.

Everything in the villa is still the same, and so is Ji Shiyan's life.

It was as if Chi Mian was crying on his shoulder last night, talking about his life, that life that sounded like a fuck, was just a dream of Ji Shiyan.

It's just that Ji Shiyan didn't expect Chi Nanjing to come that night.

The author has something to say:

Before writing the article, the characters and backgrounds of each protagonist are well thought out. After all, no one’s personality will become like this for no reason, and have such unforgettable love and hate, right?I feel that it is still the same sentence that washes away Chimian, abandon the article in time if it doesn't suit your taste, hello me.Of course he will pay for what he has done.

In fact, the inspiration for writing this book is Wei Zhuang's song "Taicheng". Dynasties change and change, and there is always a sense of vicissitudes and melancholy. The writing method is used in the text to write about the kind of missed and regretful love. "The most ruthless Taicheng willow, still a ten-mile embankment in a smoke cage" corresponds to Ji Shiyan. For him, three years is just a moment of closing and opening his eyes, just as Taicheng willow doesn't care about the rise and fall of dynasties and the vicissitudes of life Ji Shiyan also didn't know the grief of Chi Mian being replaced and poisoning his beloved to death with his own hands, and he didn't know Lu Chaokong's silent and long-lasting love for him. From the angle of view, slowly reveal these two dripping emotions.Some people said before that I insisted on stacking buffs to make hot spots. I didn’t think too much about it at the time, so I just listed some points that are not important to the plot and are not very accurate. , Said that playing e-sports can still be a canary, the salary of the world's number one support is so high, where did the male second get the wallet to support him, etc. QAQ is really hot, what kind of abuse is written: (

Anyway, when it comes to writing, it’s better to tell the story you want to tell completely. You don’t have to deliberately cater to other people’s tastes, and you don’t have to care about the complaints of people who don’t like it, because there will always be people with the same hobbies who like this story.

So thank you very much for your company and tolerance, so that I am not so lonely.