because i'm pretty

"No, there is no love without selfishness. You are already..." Li Yikai has always spoken well, but he often gets stuck when facing Yuan Songqing.

Yuan Songqing's eyes were heavy, and he asked: "Then you said that I was right to hide it from him?"

Li Yikai did not expect that Yuan Songqing would take the initiative to mention this matter, let alone come to ask his opinion.

He rolled up the words, bowed his head and thought for a while, and still felt that since Yuan Songqing asked, he should also be frank.

"I think, if he knows, it will add a lot of trouble, and it's unnecessary," Li Yikai said, "but I'm thinking again, are these... is it a reason to hide him?"

"Yuan Zhiming once drew an illustration element called viva, which is a bit like a spring, and also like a DNA spiral. He said that it is the image of vitality." Li Yikai laughed, and Yuan Songqing also smiled.

He continued: "Yuan Zhiming's vitality is like his paintings, tenacious, fearless, and will bounce back when pressed... These are all your upbringing that made him grow. No one can deprive him of these, Yuan Zhiming will not be shaken, no matter who his DNA comes from or what kind of person that person is, he will not."

Yuan Songqing closed her eyes, pressed the bridge of her nose and the corners of her eyes, and said in silence for a moment: "I have been timid and cowardly since I was a child. Every time I stand up a little, I have to shrink back."

When he was young, he didn't dare to confront Gu Changfeng, and when he had nowhere to go, he only dared to destroy his own future, and then withdrew from this circle to compete, and even Qiu He dared not contact him again.

He admired Yuan Mingyan, but he didn't dare to approach Yuan Mingyan because of his health and condition. He didn't dare to reach out until he heard about the plight of the other party, and he didn't hesitate to risk the absolute opposition of his family.

But after Yuan Mingyan left, he became more and more afraid to confess to Yuan Zhiming who was growing up day by day.

"His mother wanted me to tell him this when he was sensible, but I always felt that he was still young, and I would wait until he became an adult; when he was an adult, he felt that he was still in school, and his mind was uncertain; and later he would go to the United States to study. Before I left, I thought about how to say it, but I didn’t open my mouth.” Yuan Songqing laughed helplessly and laughed at herself: “At that time, I dared to admit that I was just afraid. At first, I was afraid that he would rebel against me; I was afraid that he would enter the art circle and want to get close to his famous and powerful father; later on, it was simply because it took too long, and he was afraid that he would ask me why I didn’t say it earlier.”

Li Yikai said: "But when you reach the last moment, you will still choose what you think is right every time."

"I still don't dare this time, it's different this time." Yuan Songqing shook his head and sighed: "The more you value someone, the more you feel that you have done something wrong, and in the end you dare not face it."

……

"It's just a letter, how long are you going to chat?" Yuan Zhiming knocked on the door impatiently, then pushed it away and asked.

Yuan Songqing immediately leaned back in the chair and said to him, "What's the rush? Have you cooked yet?"

"Didn't I ask Li Yikai to do it with me?" Yuan Zhiming was confident, grabbed Li Yikai and left: "Give him back to me."

"Hey", Yuan Songqing laughed and scolded behind him: "He is so tired from running around, you still call him."

Not to be outdone, Yuan Zhiming said, "Don't worry about those who are waiting to eat!"

He closed the study door with a bang, and then the kitchen door was also locked.

Li Yikai was forcibly dragged over, leaning against the door and laughing: "What's the matter, Chef Yuan? Cooking?"

"What are you doing?" Yuan Zhiming was very upset, resting his chin on Li Yikai's shoulder, he hugged him resentfully: "We only see each other once a week, and I was occupied by my dad for so long."

Li Yikai put his hands on the back of his head and coaxed, "You even eat your father's jealousy?"

"Fart", Yuan Zhiming raised his head, looked straight at him with big brown eyes, and said sharply: "Are you guys discussing something? Is there anything you don't want to tell me?" Li Yikai was speechless and rubbed his hands. Rubbing his ears: "You'll know then."

"What?", these words seemed to be perfunctory, but fortunately Yuan Zhiming didn't care about it, pushed him away and complained a few words, then turned and went to wash the vegetables.

Li Yikai followed behind: "Can I apply to eat tomato scrambled eggs without eggshells?"

"Then beat the eggs." Yuan Zhiming threw him the bowl, and then wanted to take it back: "Forget it, sit with me, I have something to tell you."

"It doesn't matter." Li Yikai's cooking skills are also very reluctant, but they are exquisite. He said while cleaning the eggs: "You tell me, I'll listen."

"Linlin, Uncle Qiu's daughter, told me that they are building an art fair and want to invite me to participate," Yuan Zhiming said, "It's all organized by students, and they will tour in several universities."

Li Yikai stopped the movements in his hands: "Sounds very interesting, let's go, you have been bored for so long, and participate in this kind of project to find passion."

"If I go, I don't want to take the previous works. They don't have restrictions. I want to try new things. The multimedia form I proposed to Gu Changfeng before has never been implemented..." Yuan Zhiming counted.

"Okay." Li Yikai looked up at him: "What are you worried about? They don't have funds?"

Yuan Zhiming said: "There should be some, but I will not bear the cost of making the works."

"This kind of market does not need a large projection curtain wall," Li Yikai analyzed, "The rental fee will not be very high, don't worry."

"That's not the problem either." Yuan Zhiming cut the tomato boldly: "I also received an offer."

It is a good advertising company, and the salary is higher than that of Muga, but if you join the company, you will not have so much time to prepare this work.

Li Yikai was noncommittal and just asked him: "Do you still want to continue advertising?"

"Always have to work," Yuan Zhiming said.

"Ah", Li Yikai put down the bowl in his hand, looked closer at him, and suddenly smiled: "Are you worried that I will really go bankrupt?"

Before Yuan Zhiming could react and get angry, he immediately said sternly: "First, Uncle Yuan needs someone to take care of him after the operation, and you don't have time to join the job so quickly. Second, we still have a house, a car, and savings. I can make up for the lost money even if I fail in the bet against each other. Taking a step back, when the time really comes, I will have time to find a job."

"But", Yuan Zhiming thought again and again: "Your house was left to you by your grandparents."

Li Yikai looked at him softly: "It's just an asset left to me by my grandparents. I can move back to the old house where they lived and have memories."

"Besides, compared to these, they hope that I have the confidence to do what I want to do." He rubbed Yuan Zhiming's braids: "You are the same, whether it is Uncle Yuan or me, I hope you will be more free .”

Freedom is a relative term. Yuan Zhiming has experienced it before he knows that the creative time of unscrupulous inspiration is very precious to him.

That is the happiness that cannot be exchanged for money or reputation, even if no one sees it, it is the source of his continuous love for this world.

As long as there is a platform, even if it is borrowed from an unknown college student project, he quickly ignited the fire after learning about it, and the things he wanted to express were ready to come out, but they just hit an invisible glass wall.

Li Yikai said that he can see it, and he understands it.And it's okay, don't worry about it so much.

He raised his hand and showed Yuan Zhiming his five fingers, the nails were smooth and round, as was the surrounding skin.

"Look, the barbs on my fingers are healed."

In fact, Li Yikai didn't pay much attention to his hands. This was a bad habit he had developed since he was a child, and he let it develop all these years because there was no serious problem. Only Yuan Zhiming would study and care about it, and kept reminding him.

"Don't harm them anymore?" Yuan Zhiming really showed joy, and pulled him over to check carefully.He looked up again and asked, "Aren't you anxious?"

"It's much better." What Li Yikai wanted to say was—"It's strange that during this period of time, I have such a big cash flow problem and I'm so busy, but my heart is getting more and more relaxed."

"Sometimes when I chat with those messy artists, their thinking is very jumpy. If it was before, I might be anxious to pull back their thinking, and then set goals, requiring all things to be solved efficiently. If there is a delay or deviation, You won’t be able to sleep all night.”

"But now I'm not in such a hurry." He changed hands, and he realized it all of a sudden, as if he had changed this habit unconsciously.

Yuan Zhiming thought for a while, and then said: "It means that the anxiety you feel has nothing to do with the real pressure. Because you are doing what you think is right, it doesn't matter if you are tired or difficult."

"Yes", Li Yikai helped him continue to chop vegetables, heat up the oil, and put the tomatoes into the pot. He said amidst the sound of cooking fumes, "I still feel very solid now. Every step I take is on my own path. Every step will lead to further progress." Joy, it's true."

"Okay," Yuan Zhiming leaned against the chopping board blankly, "Don't persuade me, I understand."

"If you don't persuade you, you will figure it out yourself, just share it with you," Li Yikai said.

Yuan Zhiming remained silent and continued to wash the vegetables and heat up the rice. When the feeling of emptiness passed, he remembered again: "But there is one more thing I am worried about. Is the matter of the film festival over like this? If Gu Changfeng has other Will the plan implicate Linlin and the others again?"

Li Yikai turned on the water tank, rinsed the spatula with clean water, and said, "But you can't live in his shadow forever."

"That's what I said, but a group of students..."

"Students may be the best," Li Yikai said, "Frank and simple, without those inconspicuousness, but see it more purely."

He turned his head, looked at Yuan Zhiming who was thinking about it, and said, "Unless you feel that your strength and character cannot convince students of you."

Yuan Zhiming stared: "That's impossible."

"That's fine," Li Yikai said, "I think you can definitely do it."

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These days, I have been tossed stupidly because of the isolation. Everyone protect yourself, disinfect frequently and go out less.

(I even thought of writing a daily episode of the two of them after they were quarantined...)