writing coffee

The next day I slept until I woke up naturally. When I woke up, it was already bright, but the sun was not out yet.I turned over and lay on the pillow, thinking that I don't need to open the shop anyway, so I can sleep until noon.But I can't fall asleep anymore, as if the sleep value has reached the upper limit, no matter how much I supplement it, it is doing useless work.

So I reached for my phone, turned on the screen and was startled, twelve past five? !It turned out to be noon? !Oh, I forgot that there was a typhoon last night, so there is no sun today...

However, it seems that the typhoon has passed, and the wind is not as strong as imagined. It may not have enough stamina after landing, or it may temporarily change the path and cause harm to other places.Anyway, I stretched out on the balcony and let myself go, the weather outside is very pleasant now, suitable for wandering.

So I went back to my room, went into the bathroom and took a shower. ——It’s not my hobby to take a shower every day after getting up and before going out, it’s just a way to wash my hair.Washing my hair was not out of my original intention, but out of helplessness. I really didn't have the courage to run amok on the street with my short hair like claws and claws.

After taking a shower, changing clothes, and putting on shoes at the entrance to go out, the phone rang.

Glancing at the notification of the incoming call, I was stunned for a second, then took off my half-worn shoes, decided to go back to the sofa and sit down to answer the call, guessing the "purpose" of the call while walking back.

Don't blame me for being so serious, it's just too unusual for the other party to call me. When was the last time?During the Spring Festival, ask me if I will go home for the New Year?Oh no, a few months ago, my father accidentally sprained his foot and she called to tell me.So why this time, something happened at home?Or is my father... sick again?I was suddenly a little apprehensive, I didn't want to receive this call at all.

"Hello, Aunt Xin."

"Hey, Xiaoshi ~ are you busy, did I bother you?" Her voice is always the same as hers, gentle and gentle, with a little unconscious politeness.But the tone is relaxed, it seems that it is not bad news.

"No, I'm off today, you said."

"Oh, it's nothing. Aunt Xin just wanted to ask, do you have time to go home for dinner after the Mid-Autumn Festival in a few days?"

Oh, yes, this year the Mid-Autumn Festival is a holiday with the National Day.It’s just that people like me who have no concept of “reunion” only think about the huge crowds of people during the eight-day holiday, and almost forget this day of “happy family”.

The store is busy during the holidays, and you may not have time to spare. ——This should be a very appropriate reason, but it just flashed through my mind, and I didn't say it.

I just said, "No more."

But she didn't want to think badly, so she directly used this reason for me, "Ah, that's it... also, the holiday shop will be very busy then, right? Are you... busy?"

No matter how busy I am, there is still time to go home for the holidays. Although I am in a different city, it is only two hours away by car on the highway.I think that although we are not close enough, we are honest enough. I can't hear her talking to me like this, and I can't see her being so cautious in front of me.

So I said, "Aunt Xin, you know I just don't want to go back."

"Xiaoshi..." She called my name, seemed to sigh, and didn't speak for a while.

"My father's anger is still there. I don't want to go back and make him unhappy and affect your holiday mood."

"I'm sorry..." She actually replied like this.

I really can't laugh or cry.I didn't intend to make the atmosphere so heavy. In fact, when I said this, I had no complaints in my heart. I was just stating the facts.But apparently she didn't think so.

"Why are you sorry to me? It's not because of you... After all, you have been in a dilemma between us for so many years, and I haven't said 'Thank you' to you!"

She finally smiled a little, and said straight: "Okay, let's not talk about this..." Then changed the subject, "You must not have bought mooncakes, right? There are a lot of them at home, let me send some to you?"

"I don't like to eat these, don't bother, keep it as a gift, bringing it to me is like burying its value." I refused very sincerely, every word was sincere.

She laughed softly, "That's right, you didn't like to eat when you were at home."

"Ah."

"Then you have to take good care of yourself, have a good rest, eat on time, and ask someone to help you if you are too busy..." She nagged the first sentence very smoothly, and she seemed to realize that the person who heard this was me , So the more I spoke, the quieter I became, and the more I spoke, the more embarrassed I became.

I quickly picked it up, "Yeah, I see, you and your father should also pay attention to your health."

She breathed a sigh of relief, "Okay, then I hang up?"

"OK Bye Bye."

I put down the phone, and before I had time to chew the contents of the call carefully, a sudden overwhelming hunger swept over me. My stomach was so empty that I seemed to hear an echo, so I decided to make a cup of cereal first to satisfy my hunger.

After waiting for a few minutes for the oatmeal to cool down, I chewed two more brown sugar-flavored hard candies, listening to the crunching sound in my mouth, thinking, I take good care of myself...

That gentle woman whom I call "Aunt Xin", from a legal point of view, is my stepmother, commonly known as "stepmother".But when I use the word for her, I just express its original meaning as a noun.

My parents separated after my mother's conversation with me, they shook hands in a friendly way in my presence, and my mother went off to find her poems.

Maybe it's because my mother still kept a very close relationship with me after she left, so I don't feel that I have been hurt by this failed marriage. On the contrary, IMHO, they are more suitable as friends. ——Occasionally, when my mother and I are videoing, if my father is by the side, the atmosphere between them is much better than when they were a family of three... So I have never been ashamed to let others know that my parents are divorced, and even later my classmates I am very envious that I have a "quasi-stepfather" who often sends me small gifts from abroad.

My father stayed with me for three full years of "living alone". He didn't bring "Aunt Xin" to see me until I finished the high school entrance examination and was sure that I had entered the high school I had always wanted to go to.

The first time we met, she was a 31-year-old woman who was as shy as a primary school student in front of a 15-year-old brat like me, but she was so gentle and considerate that I was happy for my father.She is a few years younger than my mother, completely different from my mother, and is a model of a good wife and mother.

I only found out later that Aunt Xin turned out to be my father's student!She had been in love with my father, who was a young lecturer at the time, since she was in college, and stayed in school as a counselor for him after graduation, but because my father had a family long ago, she fell in love with her in silence for many years.It wasn't until my parents separated that I finally got what I wanted - I'm just stating the facts - after all these years, they have a good relationship, they treat each other with respect, and it's a good story.

The only fly in the ointment is probably my existence.

When I entered the first year of high school, I chose boarding on my own initiative. The intention was to complete the two-person world of my father and Aunt Xin, but I accidentally discovered that I was different.

I was only 15 years old at the time, and I had never seen such a person around me, so I was at a loss, panicked, and after a week like a walking dead, I finally called my mother in another country, holding back tears and saying , Mom, I miss you...

As a result, when I was still in class the next afternoon, my mother suddenly appeared at the door of our classroom like a goddess, standing next to our head teacher, politely asking for leave from the teacher who was in class, and then pulled a face of disbelief I left school.

I'm not sure whether I was wronged or moved, so I cried and wet her front as I lay on top of her.She thought that I really just missed her, so she blamed herself and kept humbly apologizing in my ear, even saying that if her boyfriend refused to go back to China with her, she would break up with him.

I laughed through tears, raised my tearful eyes to look at her, and said sobbingly, "Mom, I found out that I like girls."

One second she still had an expression of distressed death, and the next second she opened her eyes wide and opened her mouth on this basis. She stared blankly at me for a few seconds, and suddenly snorted and laughed out of her nose.I stared at her closely, she put on a tired and gentle face, gently wiped the tears on my face, and asked teasingly, "Is this why my daughter is crying, huh?"

I suddenly felt at ease, and instantly had the courage to face myself and even the whole world.

Later that winter break, my mother convinced my father to take me to London to meet her boyfriend, Brian.Brian is a handsome British gentleman with a beard. Before I arrived in the UK, he collected all kinds of gay-related books and video materials for me. After arriving in the UK, they took me everywhere to explore this part of the For me, it is a strange and friendly culture, and it also brought me to meet a few of their friends who like the same sex.

There is a sister named Emily, who is very beautiful. I remember it very clearly, because when we met, my mother kept me in her arms and said to her, "Our Xiaoshi is not yet an adult, Emily, you go away. Open! You can only see it from a distance!"

I think how lucky I am.

However, we reached a consensus that this matter should be kept from my father.

"At least, wait until you are an adult." When sending me back to China, my mother held my face and said solemnly, "Promise mom! Your father is not a pedantic person, but he also has his limitations. Mom doesn't want you to be wronged." .”

Therefore, when I accompanied my father outside the delivery room of the hospital during the summer vacation of the first year of high school and heard the doctor say that Aunt Xin had given birth to a boy for my father, I seemed to have received an occasional kindness from fate for the first time.

Although at that time I hadn't clearly realized that most of my mother's free blood flowed in my body, I hadn't been firm and calm enough to insist that I was me, and I hadn't predicted that one day I would be with her. My father was going to break up. I just instinctively, watching my father's happy appearance from the heart, and subconsciously decided to fade out this warm and beautiful picture.

After that, it was the covenant of adulthood.Although I don't have to declare my preferences to the whole world, I must let the people I love the most know.So I confessed to my father, especially in front of Aunt Xin.

In the end, just as my mother said, I failed to break through my father's limitations, and I didn't want to wrong myself. No one compromised, and the stalemate has persisted until now.

Hehe, it's really hard work for Aunt Xin...

The oatmeal was already cold, so I picked it up and took a sip, and sadly found that I forgot to add sugar... I feel like eating a mouthful of raw flour now, I can't swallow it, and I feel a little nauseous when I spit it out.

But after thinking about it, disgusting is just disgusting myself, so what does it matter?Then he vomited with peace of mind...

It's better to go out to find something to eat. The hunger in the process is just to make the next lunch more delicious.