fail love

Tao Zhi's house is too small, and there is only a studio on the second floor, which also serves as a study.

Tao Zhi was lying on the table scratching his head and doing his homework, while Yan Shu was sitting in front of his laptop in a relaxed posture. There were a few ducklings with blank expressions on the milk yellow home clothes, which Tao Zhi bought for him specially. He thought Yan Shu's jet-black home clothes were too deep, and he didn't like it.

Yan Shu was more serious than Tao Zhi, only turning his eyes once in a while. Tao Zhi was not very honest, he had to touch the pen on the table after writing a few words, and pull the fluff on his pajamas.

"Straighten your waist, lying down is not good for your spine." Yan Shu kept his eyes on the computer, and his right hand casually lying on the table easily touched Tao Zhi's left hand, and gently squeezed Tao Zhi's knuckles. Throwing away the pen, he looked curiously at Yan Shu's side. The dense data and lines made his eyes hurt at a glance. He stuck out his tongue and retracted his head to sit in his seat.

"Brother." Tao Zhi called him suddenly, Yan Shu didn't raise his head to answer, but Tao Zhi fell silent, Yan Shu listened carefully to his movement, only heard the sound of "rustling" writing.

After about ten minutes of silence, Tao Zhi called him again, sounded very excited, and kept patting Yan Shu's arm.Yan Shu raised his head, and Tao Zhi lifted up the paper on the table, covering most of his cheeks, only showing his round and beautiful eyes, "Jiang Jiang!"

There is a picture drawn on the white paper. Although the lines are simple, the shape and expression are firmly grasped. It is easy to see that the picture is Yan Yan who is sitting and watching the computer.

Yan Shu smiled helplessly, "What do you draw me for?"

Tao Zhi didn't answer, but stood up, walked to the bookshelf next to him, squatted down and pouted his buttocks, and searched on the bottom row of shelves.

His bookshelf is very messy, books and drawing papers are messily mixed together, Tao Zhi pulls out a picture album in the corner from memory.

The corners of the cover of the picture album were wrinkled so much that the white edge was turned over, Tao Zhi didn't care, he opened the picture book and looked at it for a while, then stood up after a hesitant pause, walked around the small desk, and leaned against Yan Shu's chair through the back of the chair. back, chin resting on his shoulder.

"I have drawn a lot..." Tao Zhi opened the first page of the album, and beyond Yan Shu's expectations, the lines in this painting were crooked, and the lines were painted with watercolor pens. It was obviously a children's painting , "I should have drawn this picture when I was eight years old."

Tao Zhi pointed to a small house with bright colors in the painting, "This is my home." His fingers moved down to the three people holding hands in front of the house, "This is brother, this is me, and this is you .”

In the painting, a few meters away from them, there is a sad white puppy, with blue teardrops streaming out of its green peas, squatting on the green grass. Tao Zhi said embarrassedly: "This puppy is also me, I Back then I thought I was a puppy."

"Hmm... I don't know how to say it, I don't know if you can understand, but I am a puppy, but I don't look like a puppy when I look in the mirror, so I think this humanoid thing is not me, I am a puppy." Tao Zhi's chestnut hair rubbed against Yan Shu's side cheek. Yan Shu lowered his head slightly and glanced at Tao Zhi from the corner of his eye, only to see his upturned little nose, "I'm very envious of that humanoid thing, he has parents and Brother, and you, but I am a puppy, a puppy will be beaten, starved, neglected, no one likes a puppy..."

Yan Shu stroked Tao Zhi's hair lightly, Tao Zhi chuckled and said shyly, "It was only later that I realized that I was the person I envied. I was so happy that day."

Tao Zhi flipped through a few pictures, and they were all similar children's paintings. In each picture, there was the crying puppy, hiding away from the crowd and curled up in a corner.Tao Zhi turned over quickly, Yan Shu held his wrist, led him to his body, sat on his lap with his arms around his waist, his forearm pressed the album to prevent Tao Zhi from continuing to flip through it.

"Why a puppy?" This posture made Tao Zhi a little taller than Yan Shu, and Yan Shu could kiss his chin by raising his head. Tao Zhi was a little afraid to move, and let Yan Shu kiss him one by one, whispering Said, "Because she called me a dog."

That "she" is self-evident, Yan Shu silently looked into Tao Zhi's eyes, Tao Zhi's eyes were clean and pure, without any haze or sadness.

Although he also thought that Tao Zhi looked like a puppy in some respects, that person was definitely not described in terms of praise.

Tao Zhi's illness is like a protective film he erected for himself, so that he will not fall into excessive sadness, but the pain cannot be completely eliminated, and it does not pass without a trace. Tao Zhi will still be sad, sad, and afraid.

"Many people like puppies, and there is no one who doesn't like puppies." Yan Shu hugged Tao Zhi tightly, through the furry pajamas, he could hear Tao Zhi's heartbeat under his thin ribs, a kind of vigorous and gentle primitive rhythm of life, Clearly communicate your existence to others.

Yan Shu's breath sprayed on Tao Zhi's chest, Tao Zhi felt his chest was hot, he put his arms around Yan Shu's neck and said, "I think it's better to be a human being."

"Being a puppy, I can't love you." Tao Zhi said slowly and seriously.

Yan Shu moved his mouth, but in the end he couldn't say a word, the fine bitterness spread in his body together with his breath, his heart kept tightening, throbbing so much that he had the illusion of being broken.

It turns out that people will feel pain when they get love.

As soon as the words fell, Tao Zhi frowned deeply, thought about it seriously, and then denied himself, "No, I like you so much even if I'm a puppy."

Tao Zhi's dense eyelashes drooped down, and he was more obedient than a puppy. The white fluff on his face shone under the light, like fresh and tender peaches hidden under a tree. Being thrown to the highest place and never coming down again, the heartbeat came simply and directly.

"You're a puppy, I like it too." Yan Shu lightly pecked Tao Zhi's soft lips, Tao Zhi pursed his lips and said with a smile, "I know."

He lowered his head, and a kiss from Yan Shu fell through, landing on the tip of his nose.Tao Zhi then flipped through the picture album, and as the paper was superimposed, the paintings presented became more and more exquisite.

Yan Shu sitting in front of the desk in class was drawn by Tao Zhi squatting in the corridor of his classroom, Yan Shu standing in front of the podium to receive awards and flowers was painted secretly by Tao Zhi sitting under the stage, running on the basketball court for a layup Yan Shu was painted by Tao Zhi through the iron fence...

There is also Yan Shu in a suit, Yan Shu holding flowers, Yan Shu holding a birthday cake, squatting down and holding a ring... Yan Shu who proposes.

The strict description of each time period, from childhood to youth, the time is fleeting, and the painting stops abruptly on this page, as if they were suddenly blank for five years, breaking out a pale valley.

"No more... the next few pictures were drawn when I was sick..." Tao Zhi picked up the picture he just drew from the table, clipped the picture on the last page of the album, and said with satisfaction, "then, this is new."

Yan Shu turned back a few pages, and stopped at a painting of him walking on the street. In the distance, water waves stretched towards the sky, and birds floated in the sky like small boats.

"This one is real." Yan Shu said, "This is the night we were together."

"Do you remember?" Yan Shu asked him, Tao Zhi didn't react in a daze, and he said "oh" after a long time, and stammered: "I, I remember, I remember."

"Of course I remember, I won't forget." Tao Zhi looked at the painting spread out in front of him, watched the wind blowing Yan Shu's forehead hair, his fingers brushed the paper, touched the corner of Yan Shu's slightly curved mouth, "I How stupid, just like when I was a child, it took me a long time to realize that I was the one I envied."

Yan Shu gently pinched his chin, turned his face towards him, and couldn't help but smile to himself, "I'm also stupid, I always don't believe that you really like me, I've been hesitating, I've been waiting. "

Tao Zhi's eyelashes trembled, his eyes seemed to be asking for a kiss with moisture, and Yan Shu kissed him.

Tao Zhi closed his eyes, felt the warm and soft lips of the other party, squeezed out the oxygen in his mouth bit by bit, Yan Shu's lips still smelled of wine, Tao Zhi was a little drunk, he opened his mouth slightly Opening his mouth, he breathed heavily and said with Yan Shu's lips in his mouth, "I have prepared flowers."

In the proposal ceremony he designed, he would appear with flowers in his hand, and pour out his love to his sweetheart in the 99 evening bells of Yuelao Temple.

"Paulownia flower, I received it." Yan Shu lifted Tao Zhi's thigh, carried him downstairs, the lights dimmed all the way, Tao Zhi pressed his cheek against his neck, softly kissed his protruding Adam's apple, His tongue was soft and hot, like a little beast licking someone.

Paulownia flower, waiting forever, looking forward to your love.

Tao Zhi had given the answer a long time ago, but they had too many misunderstandings, and they struggled to prove their love to each other over and over again.

"What else?" Tao Zhi was placed on the bed by Yan Shu. He pushed himself up so that he would not be completely trapped in the soft bedding. Yan Shu gently pressed his chest and put his hands on his sides. With his tall body covering him, Tao Zhi took a step back nervously, Yan Shu stared into his eyes, and then took a step forward.

"I counted the bells. There are a total of 99, no more, no less." Tao Zhi lay back, his forehead spread out, and Yan Shu touched his forehead, like a memory, "They said they knocked a hundred The bet is too perfect, and the reality is always flawed, so 99 bets are just right."

"I like this saying very much. I don't seek perfection, I seek long-lasting."

"The ring is very similar. When I first saw it, I felt like laughing. The real one was also designed for you, but you have to spend a lot of time to make a similar one."

"It was sunny when I came here, but it started to rain on the way back. I sat under the acacia tree with flowers and a ring in my hand. The acacia tree has not yet bloomed, so it should be beautiful when it is full of flowers."

Tao Zhi moved his hands up the hem of Yan Shu's clothes, his back was so hot that Tao Zhi didn't dare to touch it, he shrank under the shadow of the other party, bit his lower lip, avoiding Yan Shu's eyes, Yan Shu kissed the end of his eyes, Tao Zhi was forced to look at him, his impeccably handsome features exuded infinite mature charm, Tao Zhi was a little dazed.

It may be because they have known each other for too long, Tao Zhi's memory remains, and the impression of Yan Shu still stays in his early years, when he is suddenly shocked by the mature facial features, his heart and soul are unavoidably turbulent.

Such a handsome person is actually his boyfriend, Tao Zhi, you are really capable.

Tao Zhi was muttering, but Yan Shu couldn't hear clearly, he lowered his head to try to hear clearly, but Tao Zhi was quiet, and moved his lips to kiss the small mole in the center of his cheek.

"Let's go together next year." Tao Zhi said softly, "I'm with you, we're together."

Yan Shu smiled softly, "Do you know what I was thinking when I went back?"

"I think it's a good thing you didn't come, otherwise you would definitely catch a cold when you go back in this weather." Under the dark light, indistinct spots of light flickered in Yan Shu's eyes, tender and sad, "It's a good thing you didn't come, otherwise you and I rolled down the cliff together, you must cry."

Tao Zhi thought of the blood on Yu Yanlun's clothes that night, and he hugged Yan Shu in fear.

"You always like to cry," Yan Shu said while biting Tao Zhi's neck. It didn't hurt very much, but it was one of the lifeblood after all. His sharp teeth were holding his soft and fragile flesh. Tao Zhi's body was slightly receded, The two of them stuck to each other tightly, "I suspected that you did it on purpose before, because once you cry, I won't be able to discipline you."

"You are so fierce." Tao Zhi said weakly, Yan Shu bit his Adam's apple hard, Tao Zhi's Adam's apple slid up and down, and soon let out an aggrieved sound, but Yan Shu laughed, "You always say I am fierce."

Tao Zhi was ashamed to find that his little Tao Zhi, who hadn't moved for a long time, suddenly woke up and was proudly showing his existence, brazenly pressing against Yan Shu's abdominal muscles.

The author says:

Tao Tao: See you in debt!I'm going to do my homework and calm down