fail love

Since Tao Zhi grew up, Yan Shu seldom hugged him like this. Tao Zhi hung on his body like a koala, and his schoolbag was still hanging on Yan Shu's arm. Tao Zhi told him that he All his things were thrown away, so Yan Shu took him to the woods to pick up the scattered books and stationery bit by bit, and put them back into the schoolbag properly.

The sky outside was completely dark, with only sporadic street lamps shining on the road. Tao Zhi buried his face on Yan Shu's shoulder, only showing one eye to see the shaking tree shadow behind Yan Shu.

The tree shadow was shaking, and he was shaking too, he turned into a thin green leaf, shaking on Yan Shu's shoulder, he hoped that Yan Shu could become a street lamp beside the tree, so that his veins could be illuminated .

After walking for a few minutes, Tao Zhi heard a loud noise. Someone was running towards this side, and the flashlight flickered on the concrete floor. Tao Zhi was instinctively afraid of other people approaching, so he buried his face tightly in the graveyard. In Yan Shu's neck, the body shrinks to a small size, wishing to fit into Yan Shu's body.

"Tao Tao?" Yu Yanlun was panting heavily because of the running just now, and Tao Zhi raised his head a little when he heard his brother's voice, looking at his brother's worried and anxious face, Tao Zhi burst into tears again. He called softly, "Brother."

Yu Yanlun's palms were warm and moist. He carefully wiped away Tao Zhi's tears. The moment he saw Tao Zhi, he finally let go of his hanging heart. What followed was intense anger, but Tao Zhi was already frightened. Enough is enough, he can't get angry casually, even if the anger is not directed at Tao Zhi.

Yu Yanlun touched the tears in his hands, endured his distress and said: "It's okay, we're going home."

Even though Yu Yanlun and Yan Shu were by his side, Tao Zhi could not calm down. When he saw a stranger, his nerves, which had not been relaxed, were tense again. He screamed excitedly, like a broken animal A young bird with wings is afraid of everything that comes close to it.

The faculty and staff involved in the search were stunned by Tao Zhi's sudden scream. Tao Zhi was easily stimulated by their expressions. He almost collapsed and wanted to bury himself so that no one could see him. He was not affected by himself. Shaking and crying in control, his whole body was dirty, especially his trousers, which felt cold and damp to the touch. Tao Zhi felt uncomfortable, scared and helpless, and the heavy embarrassment made him suffocate.

Yan Shu hugged Tao Zhi tightly, and pressed his palm on the back of Tao Zhi's neck, so that Tao Zhi could hide in his arms. Tao Zhi's neck was slender and fragile, and when trembling, he seemed to be caught in a net and dying A thin layer of sweat covered his neck, and the glands under his palms twitched nervously occasionally.

This matter can be big or small. If it is small, it can be said to be a prank caused by personal grievances between students. It only needs a little punishment and vigilance to solve it. If it is big, it is campus violence. No school is willing to get involved in this He was full of shame, and Yu Yanlun lacked experience in dealing with teachers. Yu Yanlun almost nodded under the words of the principal who wanted to turn this matter into a big deal, Yan Shu coughed on the side, and spoke slowly: "Although this With good luck this time, Tao Zhi was found by all means, but I hope the school can give a better follow-up treatment."

"This is not a trivial matter, this is school violence and we will pursue it to the end."

Yan Shu is very stubborn in some aspects. When he was a college student under the age of 20, his stubbornness was often considered rigid and dull, but at a young age, Yan Shu's stubbornness But it has a slight deterrent force, and a kind of determination and courage unique to young people is fully displayed in him.

Now that the family members of the victim have expressed their attitude, the principal will not say anything more, only saying that he will give a satisfactory answer to the students and parents.

On the way from school to home, Tao Zhi would even be frightened by the sound of the car's horn outside the window. He couldn't stop shaking and crying, and refused to come out of Yan Shu's arms. The Yu family's parents knew from the phone Although I was prepared for this matter, I was still shocked when I saw Tao Zhi like this. My mother didn't dare to look at it, and she would cry at the first glance.

Tao Zhi didn't let others touch him, so Yan Shu could only carry him all the way upstairs to the bathroom.

He was too dirty and needed to be cleaned. Yan Shu put Tao Zhi on the toilet seat, grabbed his trouser waist and thought for a while, then stood up and went out to ask Tao Zhi's father to come in, but he just got up , Tao Zhi, who had been holding back from crying, opened his mouth wide and began to howl again.

Tao Zhi crawled pitifully on Yan Shu's body while crying, and said with difficulty, "Brother, don't go, don't go, I'm scared...I'm so scared..."

Tao Zhi's eyes were blurred with tears, and there was mist in front of his eyes, and he didn't know where Yan Shu was, so when he caught him, he leaned on Yan Shu indiscriminately, for fear that Yan Shu would fall to him.

Yan Shu bent down and hugged Tao Zhi, patted him on the back to comfort him: "Brother won't leave."

Tao Zhi was almost exhausted from crying, and his body was so soft that he almost slipped off the toilet seat. Yan Shu straightened him up. After thinking twice, he once grabbed Tao Zhi's trouser waist, and after 3 minutes of psychological struggle , I used a little force to lower my hand.

Tao Zhi was stunned, pulled his pants tightly, shook his head desperately and said, "No, I peed, it's dirty..."

Yan Shu pursed his lips, but there was still no other expression on his face, "It's okay, brother doesn't dislike it, just let's wash it off."

Tao Zhi was a bit shy, but he didn't have a strong sense of shame, and Yan Shu had seen his bare buttocks many times when he was a child, so he persisted for a while, and asked Yan Shu to take off his pants .

Tao Zhi himself could smell the faint smell of sweat and urine on his body. He put his hands on both sides of the toilet cover at a loss. Yan Shu, who is usually a serious cleanliness, looked natural. He took off the shower head in the cubicle and adjusted the water temperature. Then she poured it on Tao Zhi's legs.

Perhaps it was the familiar environment at home and the warm water that gradually calmed down Tao Zhi's tense nerves. He let Yan Shu manipulate him, Yan Shu carefully rubbed foam on his body, and carefully inspected Tao Zhi's body. Yan Shu should have been thankful for confirming that there were no other traces of violence and sexual assault, but he couldn't relax a bit.

Yan Shu has always thought that he is a person with weak emotional needs. Perhaps all this has something to do with his own parents. His parents rarely care about him. Yan Shu cannot obtain normal emotional cognition from the closest parental relationship, so he also Inability to return affection to others.

At the beginning, he couldn't understand that Yu Yanlun could also feel genuine love for his adopted brother. Yan Shu's thinking was stuck in the framework of rules and regulations. For example, the emotions generated by blood relationship can only be limited to the blood flowing in the veins.

But after meeting Tao Zhi, Yan Shu developed some emotional needs, because Tao Zhi is a person who needs to be relied on, he is always acting like a baby, always playing tricks, and always growing up, he needs someone to accompany him to grow up and teach him to grow up So Yan Shu came to play the role of reliable brother.

If one day Tao Zhi is no longer wanted, he may not know what role he can play.

Sometimes Yan Shu felt that he was sick, even more serious than Tao Zhi, but the doctor who examined him said that he was mentally and mentally healthy, but a little too rational. After Yan Shu expressed his doubts, The doctor was silent for a while, nodded his forehead with his index finger, looked at the handsome young student opposite, and said meaningfully: "Or to put it another way, that person is extremely special to you."

When Tao Zhi needed it, Yan Shu was willing to change for him. However, after year after year, Yan Shu himself was trapped in a strange circle. He gradually couldn't grasp the distance between himself and Tao Zhi. At first he thought it was This situation was caused because Tao Zhi relied too much on him.

As usual, he handled the matter rationally and taught Tao Zhi to be independent, but when the real separation happened, the person suffering from separation anxiety would speak harshly about himself.

And what happened today was simply the reappearance of the nightmare deep in his heart, he felt uncontrollably angry, distressed and deeply hated for his own incompetence.

It's not that Tao Zhi needs him, it's that he needs Tao Zhi, Tao Zhi has always been able to do things well, but Yan Shu, an unseemly old man, always goes the wrong way and does wrong things.

Tao Zhi was washed clean, and his whole body was fragrant. He was carried out wrapped in a large bathrobe. Yu Yanlun had already prepared pajamas for him to change into, but Yan Shu was completely soaked, and he couldn't even wear shoes. avoid.

Parents called a family doctor to come over for an examination, but no serious problems were found, but Tao Zhi barely ate a little for dinner, and vomited it all up in less than an hour. Paper, only firmly grasping Yan Shu's hand and not letting go.

Yan Shu was wearing Yu Yanlun's clothes, Tao Zhi didn't want him out of his sight, so Yan Shu stayed overnight, Yu Yanlun slept on Tao Zhi's left, Yan Shu slept on his right, Tao Zhi smiled a little .

But this little smile quickly disappeared. Tao Zhi lowered his eyelids tiredly, and Yan Shu dimmed the light. Afraid that Tao Zhi would be afraid, there was still a faint light. Tao Zhi turned over and let himself lie on his back. In the middle of them, they touched Yan Shu's dry and cold hands under the quilt, and looked at the ceiling with their eyes open, even though they were very sleepy, they still didn't dare to close their eyes and fall asleep.

He didn't last long, and soon his eyelids began to become heavy. Before going to sleep, Tao Zhi turned over again and hugged Yan Shu's waist. I."

Yan Shu couldn't tell what he was feeling in his heart, he was mostly sad, he wanted to tell Tao Zhi that he had never thought of leaving him behind, Tao Zhi was a sensitive and insecure child, and he didn't know which of Yan Shu's unintentional actions made Tao Zhi feel sad. Rank had the idea that he was going to be left behind.

Tao Zhi lay on Yan Shu's shoulder, with his mouth close to his ear, his voice was hoarse from crying, so his voice sounded vague, "Let's stop doing this, okay? I miss you, I want you to be with me, always be with me Look at me, you ignore me, I'm so sad, I'm so scared."

"Is college fun? No matter how fun it is, you can't leave me behind. You haven't talked to me for a long time."

"I have been bullied, he has been..." At this point, Tao Zhi couldn't help his throat choked up, he couldn't continue, he felt aggrieved and sad, he didn't know why he was hated so much, I don't know why Yan Shu alienated him, "He has always bullied me, he is good or bad."

Yan Shu slowly touched Tao Zhi's back. The young man's spine had already taken shape. He touched it inch by inch and counted it inch by inch. Yan Shu was involved in the growth of almost every bone here. The relationship is integrated into the bones and penetrates into the flesh and blood, but it becomes rigid and alienated by accident.

"Tao Zhi, I told you before that people always have to be separated."

Tao Zhi was stabbed by Yan Shu's words, he was a little dazed, and in a panic, he squeezed Yan Shu's palm tightly, leaving a painful bright red scar on it.

Yan Shu turned his head in the dim light, Tao Zhi's face was very close to him, Yan Shu could clearly see the distinct eyelashes on Tao Zhi's eyes.

"But I promise you, I will not be separated from you."

19-year-old Yan Shu made a promise to 15-year-old Tao Zhi, for which he dedicated his life's loyalty, and in the days to come, no matter suffering or illness, he would give his all to fulfill this promise.

The author says:

Brother Yu is already sound asleep, please ignore him (′?ω?)?(._.`)