grey alley

Pei Xiqing said that Pei Jiajun would go back on his birthday, so Pei Jiajun also asked for leave from school to go home that day.

He has already started school, and the time after entering the third year of high school has become very tight, and the vacation is very short. It is not easy to ask for a day off. It is not dark when he buys some snacks and fruits from outside, and Lin Chunli is in the living room. I was chasing dramas, and Pei Xiqing was cooking dinner. Pei Sanliang went somewhere, and he probably hasn't come back yet.

Seeing him enter the door, Lin Chunli hurried to pick up the things in his hand, "I came back quite early, your father hasn't come back yet."

Pei Jiajun didn't care where his father went, he put down his things and went straight to the kitchen, rolled up his sleeves and said, "Brother, what do you want to cook, I'll help you!"

Pei Xiqing was cutting lotus root for making lotus root boxes. The minced meat beside him had already been chopped. He lowered his head: "No, the water is already boiled. You can go take a bath first."

Pei Jiajun looked down at his brother's hands. His fingers were slender and fair. The old calluses in his palms had long since disappeared. His hands were as white as beautiful jade. Even cutting lotus roots with a kitchen knife was pleasing to the eye.

Pei Jiajun saw his clean short hair, and saw his white and beautiful side face, as if a piece of dusty rough jade had finally been polished, radiating its original color and appearance.Pei Jiajun's palms were slightly tight, and his eyes followed his profile, but unexpectedly the other party suddenly raised his head.

Pei Jiajun's eyes dodged for a moment, and he heard Pei Xiqing say: "Go take a shower, I bought a cake and eat it after dinner."

Pei Jiajun stammered and replied, "Okay...Okay."

Dinner is basically Pei Jiajun's favorite dishes. Before the meal, Lin Chunli called Pei Sanliang who was drinking outside, and sat down smelling of alcohol. After taking a bite, he picked Pei Jiajun's thorns. The more unhappy.

Lin Chunli was afraid that they would quarrel at this time, so she quickly interrupted and changed the subject, and poured a lot of tea into Pei Sanliang's wine glass.

After talking about it until the end of dinner, Pei Jiajun suppressed his disbelief and insisted on not dropping his chopsticks after eating. When Pei Sanliang was sitting on the sofa, he ran to the kitchen to help wash the dishes.

The cake was bought by Pei Xiqing, the style is very simple, with a candle with the number eighteen inserted.Pei Jiajun had no idea how happy he was smiling in the eyes of others. He sat at the table and blew out the candles in one go, and then picked up paper plates to share the cake.

Pei Sanliang didn't like to eat this greasy thing, and didn't like to join him in the fun, so he sat in the yard early to smoke, and took out his mobile phone from time to time to look at it, as if he was thinking about something.

Pei Jiajun cut a large piece for Pei Xiqing, with a lot of strawberries on it, and his cheeks became sour after taking a bite.

After tonight, I have to go back to school tomorrow, Pei Jiajun went back to the room to do homework, Pei Xiqing came in once, put a cup of brewed scented tea on the table for him, wiped his hands and was about to leave, Pei Jiajun called him: "Brother. "

Pei Xiqing stopped at the door.

"I..." Pei Jiajun rubbed his face, "I'm very happy to have you back today, thank you."

Pei Xiqing didn't show any expression. Hearing this, he just said "study hard" and left.He went back to his room to pack his things. He threw away the used and unused things or put them in the suitcase and took them away. He picked and picked until the end. He had lived here for five years, and he threw away all the things he wanted to throw away. Not enough for one suitcase.

Sitting on the bed, Pei Xiqing picked up the phone and glanced at the transfer information, and let out a deep, long breath.

After today, they will not owe each other. If he leaves here tomorrow, he will never come back again.

On the other side, Pei Jiajun put down his pen and stared at the scented tea on the table for a long time, but his thoughts gradually drifted away.

------

When Pei Xiqing first came to their house, their relationship was actually not good, and he unilaterally rejected it.

At that time, Pei Xiqing was still a bit shy, because she knew that she was an outsider, so she often made some little moves when she was at their house.

Even though he regrets it now, there is still no way to change many things he has done.

When he was a child, he hated Pei Xiqing, deliberately teased him, rejected him, and emphasized to him again and again: "This is not your home, when are you leaving?"

He believed that Pei Xiqing could detect his own malice, so he was satisfied to see that the other party gradually became silent, forbearing, and transparent in the time and time again.

He was very proud and felt that he had unilaterally won this battle without gunpowder.

But this kind of childish behavior has not been provoked and resisted by the other party for a long time, so it didn't take long for him to lose his "fighting spirit" and feel dull.So much so that I slowly accepted the reality that there is a transparent person in the family, and I no longer deliberately target him in everything.

He really had the idea of ​​wanting to get close to Pei Xiqing when he was 13 years old.

When the bear child hits puberty and becomes uncontrollable, he doesn't listen to Pei Sanliang's words, he doesn't listen to Lin Chunli's words, he feels that Lao Tzu is the most invincible in the world, and no one can cure him, even if Pei Sanliang whips him and breaks three seven wolves , but he still loses his temper and kicks like a donkey. After crying, he is a good man again with tears wiped away.

And that time when he jumped up and down at home with a newly acquired slingshot, and used the small stones he picked up as projectiles to break the TV screen at home. The stool was whipped, causing his arms and shoulders to turn red and purple.

When he was young, he was very stubborn, and when he was beaten, he didn't say a word, he just stared at Pei Sanliang with his eyes, but when Pei Sanliang saw the fire, he changed to a bamboo stick, which was painful. He finally cried and struggled wildly waving his hands and feet while crying, Pei Sanliang didn't hold him down for a while, letting him run out while crying.

Pei Sanliang didn't care about it at that time, only when he lost his temper and didn't want to go home, he would rush back after a hungry meal outside at night.

It's just that he didn't come back at that time after he ran out at that time, and Lin Chunli was so anxious to make dinner at home that the couple quarreled again.

After waiting from seven o'clock to ten o'clock in the evening, to make sure that he was not really angry and refused to come back, Pei Sanliang finally couldn't sit still, and called a few relatives to search everywhere at night with flashlights, and went into the mountains to find them.

At that time, he really ran to the mountains in a fit of anger. He knew that Pei Sanliang was really thinking about building a farm in the mountains recently, and he thought he could go there and stay alone for a while.However, he never thought that he was not familiar with the terrain in the mountains at all. After running a long distance, he suddenly realized that he didn't know the way home. Going the wrong way and going farther and farther.

Until the weather gradually darkened, he could hardly see the road clearly, his anger dissipated, and the only thing left was panic. He cried loudly in the mountain, but no one could hear him.

At that time, he felt that he might really have to stay in the mountains for the rest of his life. His whole body was overwhelmed by fear, and he was so frightened out of his wits by the strange sounds of various animals in the woods that he didn't even dare to cry in the end. , squatting down tremblingly hugging himself and sobbing softly.

A half-grown child rushed into the mountain with all his anger, until he couldn't recognize the way, and then he wanted to go back in fear, fell down, rolled down the hillside, and crawled back dizzy , As a result, he stayed until it was dark, the forest was silent, and he couldn't see his fingers. He couldn't find his way home.

There is no moonlight, and there are no stars in the sky. Let alone looking at the road in the wilderness and forests, even if something comes up to you, you won’t even notice it. Leaving myself alone, powerless to despair, I could only shiver and hug myself into a ball, but my mind was still seamlessly switching the scariest scenes in the horror movies I had seen.

He cried until he lost his voice, was petrified by himself, and shivered into a ball on the path, and any little blade of grass next to him would make him collapse in fright.

It was at this time that Pei Xiqing appeared. He ran the farthest and searched the most places. Holding up the flashlight, he immediately shone on Pei Jiajun, like a god descending from the sky.

Pei Jiajun rushed forward and hugged his waist, crying loudly.

Pei Xiqing touched his head and said, "It's okay, I'll take you back."

It was at that time that he changed his name to call him elder brother.

After he was brought back, everyone rushed to surround him, asking about his health, Pei Sanliang looked embarrassed, Lin Chunli was crying, only he saw that Pei Xiqing had the same wound from walking, but he just retreated silently behind everyone.

It was also at that time that he realized that he and his family had prejudice against Pei Xiqing.

The sound of glass shattering from the next door brought him back to his senses. Pei Jiajun looked down at his half-written question, went to the next door and knocked on the door, but didn't dare to go in: "Brother, what's wrong with you?"

Pei Xiqing's calm voice came from the door, "It's okay, I accidentally broke the water glass."

Pei Jiajun wanted to say something more, but when he heard the dead silence in the room, he put down his hands and went back.

Tossing and turning in bed at night, unable to fall asleep, wanted to dig out the cake in the refrigerator to eat, but it was too late, and it took a long time before he fell asleep in a daze, which caused Pei Jiajun to have a dream at night.

-

Pei Sanliang and Pei Xiqing were busy with the farm affairs, Lin Chunli went to visit relatives, and he was the only one at home.

The scorching summer always seems to be accompanied by the sound of cicadas, the sheets that are drying in the yard are gently swaying with the hot wind, and the sunshine outside the house is so strong that people don’t want to go out.

Hearing the sound of someone coming home, he hurriedly closed the door with inertia, and quickly entered his room.

In the next room, Pei Xiqing was rummaging through something, mixed with the sound of glass falling to the ground.

Pei Jiajun was playing games in the room, and he was distracted to listen to the movement next door.

After a while there was no movement, so he finished his beating and walked out of the living room to pour some water, but when he was at the door, he heard a very slight sound.

It sounded like someone was moaning softly, mixed with the sound of rubbing clothes, rustling.

Pei Jiajun suddenly held his breath and listened carefully.

The voice inside suddenly stopped again.

Pei Jiajun didn't leave, but stood at the door, and after a while, he heard Pei Xiqing's sigh and gasp like a headache. It was very faint, and then he swallowed it back, like an auditory hallucination.

Pei Jiajun paused and stopped at the door.

After a while, he leaned down and said softly, "Brother?" There was no movement inside.

He whispered, "Brother, I'm coming in..."

He gently pushed the door open, and the table inside was a bit messy, as if something had just been accidentally knocked over.As the door opened wider and wider, he gradually saw Pei Xiqing half lying on the bed.

"Brother," Pei Jiajun walked into the room and walked towards him: "Brother, what's wrong with you?"

Pei Xiqing's half-prostrate figure didn't move at all. When Pei Jiajun patted him on the shoulder, he moved slightly. He wanted to stand up, but then slid down as if he lost his strength. Pei Jiajun smelled the alcohol on his body, and His whole body was soaked.

How did you drink?Where did the wine come from? How did the clothes get wet?

As it got closer, Pei Xiqing's suppressed voice became a little more obvious.His face was flushed and hot, and he was very uncomfortable. He knew that something was wrong after being given two glasses of wine by a guest at the farm. He couldn't drink at all, and the reaction would be very serious, so he avoided Pei Sanliang and ran from the farm When he came back, but the sun was too high outside, he had a bit of heat stroke. When he saw the small river by the side of the road, he was a little unconscious. He jumped into the cold water of the river to wake up a little bit, and ran out of it again, before he lost control. to home.

The quilt on the bed was already wet with his clothes, not to mention he was suffering from heatstroke, so Pei Xiqing had to change out of his clothes as soon as possible, otherwise he would feel very uncomfortable.

Pei Jiajun's hand touched Pei Xiqing's face, it was hot and bright red, he wanted to help Pei Xiqing up, and said in his ear: "Brother, get up first, can you still move, I'll change your clothes for you."

Pei Xiqing remained silent, his eyes were half-closed, and the sound of panting gradually became more pronounced, and the suppressed discomfort could be heard.

"Brother, bear with me a little longer," Pei Jiajun went out to find some clean clothes and came back, "be patient, I'll change it for you now."

Pei Xiqing bit her lip firmly, "No... no need." His half-opened eyes were covered with a layer of glistening, as if his consciousness was a little unclear.

"What if you don't change? You can't still wear this wet clothes, do you have a headache? I'll boil some water for you later."

Pei Xiqing wanted to stretch out his hand to push back, but he didn't have the slightest strength, and he was already out of his mind, but instinctively felt that something was wrong, and kept hiding to the side, avoiding his hand.

Pei Jiajun's eyes touched his flushed face and sweaty shoulders and neck, his movements slowed down slowly, and he finally noticed something abnormal, his eyes fixed on Pei Xiqing's red lower lip bitten by himself, Some can't move their eyes.

It took only a few breaths for him to go from being distracted, to realizing, to hesitating, and then to growing dark thoughts. Because of Pei Xiqing's weakness, he gradually became bolder, and then he persuaded himself to ignore Pei Xiqing's successive attacks. Silent refusal.The chirping of cicadas continued outside the house, and there was a scorching sun and a breeze outside the window.

Pei Jiajun remembered every detail of that time very well.

He accidentally discovered the secret that Pei Xiqing had hidden for many years, and touched a secret place that no one had ever visited.

Pei Jiajun suddenly turned over and leaned against the bed, his back against the cold wall, and Pei Xiqing's room was next door.He looked down at his right hand with messy palm lines.

It seemed as if every moment of that day had been deeply imprinted in his mind. He still remembered Pei Xiqing's slightly trembling shoulders, and the pair of watery, bloodshot brown eyes when he looked at him. .

He offended his elder brother that day, and then he was greeted by the first face he met the next morning, a heavy and relentless slap, which slapped him sideways, and the corners of his lips and nasal cavity were stained. blood.

Then came six months of avoidance and alienation, as well as indifference.

The relationship between the two was never the same.

This was something he couldn't bear at all. After all, Pei Xiqing was too kind to him in the past. This kind of kindness caused him to have a kind of over-dependence and ambiguous feelings that transcended boundaries, which he couldn't control and couldn't stop. Until the fermentation became a secret strong desire, and finally found an opportunity to release that day.

He was flustered, but he didn't regret it.

It's just that he kept begging the other party's forgiveness, but all he got was cold eyes.

Pei Xiqing was no longer nice to him, and he didn't talk to him, and he didn't smile at him. They changed from close brothers to two strangers who had nothing to do with each other.

This made him finally understand the seriousness of this matter to Pei Xiqing, and the secret thoughts that he had just had time to reveal once were firmly pushed back to the bottom of his heart, and he never dared to touch them again. The extreme idea is to cut off his right hand and apologize to Pei Xiqing.

He didn't tell anyone about it, except him and Pei Xiqing, no one knew about it.It wasn't until a long time later that the relationship between the two eased up a little, because Pei Xiqing had passed the driver's license test, and Pei Sanliang asked him to pick him up from school.

God knows that was the first time he was so happy with Pei Sanliang's decision.

Every subsequent week, whenever he came home from school holidays, Pei Xiqing would pick him up and see him off.

The relationship between the two was slowly restored and maintained by him cautiously.But Pei Jiajun has been cautious since then, not daring to have too much contact with him, and not daring to enter his room casually.

Even though he still has the same dog temper on the surface.

But he no longer dared to let the thoughts in his heart be revealed at will, so he could only hide them tightly.

He thinks he has to endure until he has enough ability to be independent.

The author has something to say: Good night.