Drug addiction

Tong Yu walked into the bedroom with a bowl of instant noodles in his hand, and the two beds that were side by side came into view instantly, his brows were furrowed fiercely, and the heart that was always hanging in his chest was shivering desperately. ..

He forced himself to pretend to be calm, he put the instant noodles in his hand on the desk, turned around quietly, pulled out the chair and sat in a familiar position, except for the steaming bowl of instant noodles The empty desktop seems to remind him that no matter how familiar he is, he will never be able to return to the situation five years ago...

The school district room that Yan's father diagonally across from No. [-] Middle School carried all the memories he had with Yan Ziqian, so after the sudden quarrel that day, he resolutely moved out of Yan Ziqian's big villa, and he didn't go there. It is even more impossible for the hotel to return to the old couple's small western-style building. There is only one place in his heart, which is this lifeless and dusty house at this moment...

It's been almost a week since he moved back, and Yan Ziqian didn't ask a single question, whether it was about his unexcused absence from work or leaving with his luggage completely packed, he didn't say a single extra word...

It's good to think about it. He and Yan Ziqian have been separated for too long, and now he needs some time to understand each other more thoroughly. His departure is not an escape. This time he is very sure that he just needs some time. In Martin's case In matters, there was an unprecedented disagreement between him and Yan Ziqian. Whether it was a silent test or a fatal blow to the two of them and this reborn relationship, Tong Yu believed in the power of time. , all the pain and estrangement will eventually be erased by time, but he doesn't know where the end of time is...

He picked up two soft noodles with chopsticks, but after a pause, they unexpectedly failed to enter his mouth. He kept his eyes down and sighed sadly that he was so different from Yan Ziqian, regardless of his work ability or every aspect of life. This is the case, even the same brand of instant noodles can cook two completely different flavors...

Inserting chopsticks into the noodle soup, Tong Yu turned his head to look at the warm sunlight covering the entire balcony. The balcony is now empty, with only cabinets standing on both sides. The sunshine is never stingy. look like...

Standing up and approaching quietly, the sun also shines on him, the sadness between the brows is instantly invisible, and the narrow and long phoenix eyes are unexpectedly full of sadness...

Five years later, the statue of Confucius at the gate of No. 28 Middle School is still standing; he can clearly see the school motto of No. [-] Middle School engraved on the side of the main teaching building from his window on the [-]th floor; It has never changed, but the intimate partners who used to be with each other day and night are now inseparable, even to the point where fire and water are incompatible...

The seat next to her was empty, and Tong Yu's heart was also empty...

It's not that he didn't try to react to himself, and he also found excuses for Yan Ziqian, but he still couldn't get over the fact that Martin's death was inextricably linked to Yan Ziqian. He still couldn't accept it, and he was always frank and honest in his heart. His lover, but now he is playing tricks and tricks on the applause and is despicable and cold-blooded to the extreme, he can't accept this surprise no matter what...

Tong Yu didn't know how many great events happened during the five years when he was not by Yan Ziqian's side; he also didn't know who had such great ability to make a person change so thoroughly.

He lowered his eyelids and sighed fiercely. He hid the doubts in his eyes, trying to change his mood, but when he raised his eyes again, the hot tears in his eyes came quietly and gradually became unbridled. He tried his best to control the emotions that were about to collapse , but still looks extremely sad...

Raising his hand to wipe away the tears that fell down his lips, Tong Yu turned around to escape from the sarcasm, but before he could move, the strange movement that came into his ears from the living room instantly attracted all his thoughts... .

Frowning slightly, he walked out of the room. Tong Yu was full of doubts, but the moment Yan Ziqian's tall figure came into his line of sight, he dispelled all the worries on his brows...

Looking at each other, Tong Yu had a panoramic view of Yan Ziqian's indifference and alienation, followed by the smell of alcohol...

Tong Yu pursed the corners of her lips slightly, and said abruptly and in a panic, "Why are you here?"

Yan Ziqian stared at his face full of doubts and approached quietly, then asked hoarsely, "I am the legal heir of this house in the school district, why can't I come?"

Tong Yu felt that what Yan Ziqian said was reasonable, but what he said was really unpleasant. He hung his arms wrapped around his chest by his side as if to vent his emotions. He turned around and walked back to the bedroom. His thin figure was full of It means loneliness, but there is a rare anger in every gesture...

Yan Ziqian followed his footsteps and walked in. The instant noodles on the desk seemed to be steaming. He glanced at it but didn't say anything. He turned his eyes back to Tong Yu who was sitting by the bed as a matter of course, and they broke in together. The eye-catching, and the double bed put together...

Perhaps only the two parties in this world know that five years ago when their relationship had not seen the light of day, the bed that belonged to Yan Ziqian was always unused. Yan Ziqian liked to sleep with Tong Yu in his arms. Although his arms are numb and painful, he still enjoys the feeling of hugging and sleeping with Tong Yu. Their bodies are tightly pressed together to feel each other's body temperature, as if they are integrated into one body. Can't get away from each other...

But after Tong Yu left, Ziqian never lay down on Tong Yu's bed again, the reason is very simple, because he always felt that there should be two people lying on that bed...

There was a chuckle on the corner of his mouth, but bitterness between his brows, Yan Ziqian took a deep breath as if he had made up his mind, but followed by a thoughtless question, "Tong Yu, do you miss it?"

Following his gaze, Tong Yu naturally understood the meaning of his words, and the sad and sad emotions flashed clearly in his eyes, but after a short while, the words full of sarcasm broke out of his lips, "Of course I I miss, I miss the relationship between Ziqian and Tong Yu who died five years ago, and I also miss the big boy who made a vow to me frankly in this room..."

Knowing that Tong Yu was insinuating about Martin, Yan Ziqian, who was almost stabbed, was not annoyed, he still calmly explained, "Tong Yu, I already explained to you that day, I did do what Martin did, but there was a reason for it, whether embezzlement of public funds or suicide was his own decision, and I can't be blamed for anything..."

Seeing that his face was still full of indifference, the anger in Tong Yu's heart instantly gushed out, but after sighing helplessly, he still said in a mocking tone, "Mr. The incorruptible tongue has always been unreasonable and unreasonable. In the past, no matter what bad things you did in No. [-] Middle School, you could get away with it, let alone you today, I am afraid that it is even worse than that. ..”

Yan Ziqian couldn't listen any longer. Every word in Tong Yu's words was like thorns, which made his heart, which was already full of carbuncles, even more bloody. He knew that he hadn't done anything about Martin's matter. To be straightforward and sincere; but if you really talk about the word 'frank', I am afraid that the person in front of me who is full of sarcasm in his words will not be able to fully do it...

Yan Ziqian with drooping eyelids suddenly chuckled, he sighed hard, then raised his eyebrows and looked at Tong Yu who turned his head to the other side, the light in his eyes did not show warmth at all, "You just said 'frankly' Candid' is so good, yes, Yan Ziqian can't be candid now, I'm sorry I let you down, but what about you? Are you really candid to me?"

Tong Yu didn't quite understand Yan Ziqian's meaning at first, and turned his head to look at his big eyes full of sadness questioningly, and slowly stood up while his heart was trembling, but when he found that the eyes with sadness as the background board When it was mixed with bits and pieces of hatred, his heart trembled instantly, and he suddenly understood, for the secrets hidden in each other's hearts, they both found the clues this time very tacitly...

Yan Ziqian filled the smile on his face, but it was not difficult to see the stiffness while being calm. He pursed his lips to force himself to calm down, but still gritted his back molars fiercely and asked, "Tong Yu, when did you Why are you leaving?"

This sentence is no less than a bolt from the blue to Tong Yu, and it is also the only thing he has done in his life to be ashamed of Yan Ziqian. Facing Yan Ziqian's fiery eyes, he has already felt guilty. He didn't dare to look directly, and lowered his head slightly, he seemed to be looking for a reason in his heart, or a glimmer of life for their relationship...

Tong Yu's reaction was fully seen by Yan Ziqian, this time the beautiful smile froze on his lips completely, he frowned fiercely, still grinning and gnashing his teeth, his tone had softened, but the words that fell from his lips were still full of meaning. Sad "Really, as Li Hui told me, you are all for me?"

"I...I am..."

"Aren't you..." Before Tong Yu could reply, Yan Ziqian resolutely interrupted him, his eyes were already filled with bloodshot eyes, his eyes were filled with hatred, even the projected light was full of hatred. Killing intent "You were never for me, you were for your mother..."

'Your mother'...Tong Yu was frightened by these two words and instantly collapsed...

Yan Ziqian looked at the obvious apology in Tong Yu's eyes but couldn't stop laughing. When the smile kept showing, the tears in his eyes also came as planned. Tong Yu's reaction gave him the answer he wanted. The suspicion hidden in the bottom of my heart really has something to do...

"What are you talking about in order to prevent me from getting angry with grandpa, in order to prevent me from resenting Liu Lin, and in order to prevent me from losing my mother's love again? It's all fucking nonsense. You left to prevent them from getting divorced. Come on with me Nothing to do..."

Tong Yu's tears still bathed that delicate little face, and the cramping pain in his heart was unbearable to him. He grasped his trousers with both hands and kept pouring in strength. He wanted to explain, if he could explain it. When it reached his mouth, it disappeared inexplicably, because he knew it well, those words were affectionate but still pale and powerless...

"And..." Yan Ziqian closed his eyes and frowned fiercely. He seemed to be enduring a huge pain. When he opened his eyes again, the tears that slipped down quietly had already burst. "Don't think I don't know, Your decision to study abroad was not a sudden decision at all. You had already decided to study abroad when you were in Kai Tak. Liu Lin’s making things difficult for you back then was just an opportunity for you to get rid of me openly. A logical reason to head towards a better future..."

"No, it's not like that..." Tong Yu shook his head desperately trying to deny it, but at this moment, Yan Ziqian, who had already gotten into a corner, seemed unable to listen to any explanation...

"That's it..." Yan Ziqian roared into his blood-red eyes, but the moment the words fell, his moist eyes were clearly infected with pity, but it was only fleeting, and the words that followed were mixed again With tyrannical emotions, "In order not to let me become a stumbling block on your way to go abroad, you didn't even mention a single word to me. You made me the last person to know about it. You made me unable to keep you even if I wanted to." I see, you make me feel incompetent; once you left, you didn't even look at me, and you still made those shitty demands to me before you left, Tong Yu, did you think about my feelings when you said those words? ? Have you ever thought about how sad the person on the other end of the phone is?"

Tong Yu thought about it, he remembered it very clearly, even at the moment when the plane took off, he still predicted in his heart the emotions and reactions that should reasonably exist in Yan Ziqian at that moment, he even predicted the tyranny What radical things would Yan Ziqian say below... But he couldn't tell Yan Ziqian about these things, especially since five full years had passed since this incident.

Seeing that Tong Yu didn't respond at all, Yan Ziqian suddenly became even more angry. With a big wave of his hand, he swept the cold instant noodles on the desk onto the floor. Even the porcelain bowl was smashed to pieces. His tears-soaked eyes stared fixedly at the noodle soup on the floor in a presumptuous posture. I don’t know if the sadness in his eyes will subside, but the words of extreme disappointment came one after another, “Five years, you’ve been away for five years, a phone call even I haven't sent me a text message, not a single punctuation mark; but I've been waiting for you, I've been thinking about you, since the day you left, because of what you said to me when you left, these five In [-], I almost broke my nerves, I want to stand on the top, I want to become excellent, I want to become a famous figure in Beijing, when the time comes, no one will be able to influence our feelings; I want Try to shorten this time, because I want to see you sooner, but my expectation and extravagant hope again and again end in disappointment, you didn't come back early, not only that, after four years of studying abroad, you still haven't come back... .”

Finally when it came to this topic, Tong Yu knew from the very beginning that he couldn't escape, and he was always in fear from the day he came back. He was afraid that Yan Ziqian would ask why he stayed in Los Angeles for a year. He didn't want to lie, but he didn't don't know how to answer...

Even at this moment, facing Yan Ziqian who finally brought this matter to the fore, he still didn't know how to explain it...

"You promised me that you would come back, you promised me with your own words that you would come back in four years, but you didn't..." Yan Ziqian was already crazy at this moment, the tears that fell freely were still unbridled, and the expression on his face became extremely Fuzzy, his big hands clenched the corner of the table tightly as if venting, his neatly trimmed nails left scratches on the wooden tabletop, and the accompanying words were not hard to hear resentment but full of despair "Do you still remember?" Is there someone in Beijing waiting for you? Do you know how hard this person waited for you? Do you know how much he paid for the words you left behind?"

Tong Yu couldn't answer Yan Ziqian's question, he just looked at the pair of tearful eyes facing him from afar and felt extremely sad. From the beginning to the end, he was thinking about why Yan Ziqian became what he is today, but He never thought about how many unknown near-deaths happened to him in the past five years...

"Actually, I should have thought of it from the beginning..." Yan Ziqian suddenly smiled when he said this, which was in stark contrast to the grief on his face. He sniffed hard and stared at Tong Yu's face. His eyes tried to restrain himself, but the bloodshot eyes were full of hatred, "You have never done what you promised me in your life. You promised me to go to college with me, but you didn't do it; you promised me to Stay by my side forever, you didn't do it; you said you would accompany me through every important moment in my life, you didn't do it; five years ago you swore to me that this was the last time we were apart, you said We have only been separated for four years, and you will definitely come back after four years, but you still haven't done it... You have lied to me so many times, and you still dare to mention the word 'magnanimous' to me? Tong Yu, you deserve it too ?”

This time it was Tong Yu's turn to burst into tears, Yan Ziqian's every word was pierced into his heart, the pain that came one after another was inevitable, he bit his lips to greet him, but wrinkled tightly His brows are still telling the overwhelming pain from the heart...

It was a feeling of powerlessness that he couldn't answer, and he couldn't explain all Yan Ziqian's questions...

Yan Ziqian watched Tong Yu's face full of annoyance but did not give any explanation. He drooped his shoulders as if discouraged. He must be really tired. He stayed downstairs for two days without any water or rice, and couldn't sleep at night. , he admits that he has been unwilling and wronged, but at this moment, facing Tong Yu who does not intend to give him any feedback, his eyes are full of resentment...

Maybe this time the relationship between them really came to an end, and Tong Yu was the one who let go first...

"Tong Yu..." Yan Ziqian suddenly regained his energy, he turned his mouth and met Tong Yu's eyes, but the expression on his face was terribly horrifying, "Aren't you curious about who made me into what I am now? , I'll tell you right now..."

Tong Yu's heart trembled instantly, and his tear-stained brows suddenly frowned, but before he could give any response, Yan Ziqian, who was always standing by the desk, strode towards him...

Pulling his arm, he threw him in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirror. At this time, Yan Ziqian was already insane. He fixed Tong Yu's hands behind his back, and then grabbed his hair and pressed him against the mirror. superior...

The side face was in close contact with the cold mirror, and Tong Yu's face was covered with wet and cold tears. He was terrified, never thought that this scene would appear in the picture of him getting along with Yan Ziqian...

But Yan Ziqian didn't care, he turned a deaf ear to Tong Yu's faint crying, slightly lowered his head and pecked at Tong Yu's sensitive ear, and then said in an extremely calm and thought-provoking tone, "Tong Yu, look at the mirror carefully." You are the one who turned me into what I am today with this face, you are the culprit, all of this is your fault..."

Not knowing whether it was fear or shock, Tong Yu's whole body was trembling desperately, Yan Ziqian's words were still clear in his ears, at this moment even the tears in his eyes had dried up, leaving only shock and fear in his eyes. ..

The expression on Yan Ziqian's face also gradually calmed down, but the strength in his hands did not decrease in the slightest. He was still pointing towards Tong Yu's ear, his words were extremely gentle, but the smile mixed with them was creepy, "Who made you Promise me to come back but can't do it, you can't do it, I will help you do it, in short, I want you to come back to me willingly, you must come back to me, there is no room for negotiation on this matter, anyone It is impossible to change that Martin is just a victim. The embezzlement of public funds is his own decision. Suicide has nothing to do with me. If you really want to find a culprit, it is you. Who told you not to return to China as agreed? No, this is the price you should pay..."

Tong Yu looked sideways at himself in the mirror, and his silent tears wrapped up his broken emotions. He only knew that Yan Ziqian's doubts about his failure to return to the country on time were doubts at most, but he didn't realize that he was so persistent. At this point, it turns out that obsession is so tormenting, because it makes Yan Ziqian's eyes blurred and his heart is blinded...

"You must hate me even more now, don't you?" Yan Ziqian cruelly told the truth again without giving Tong Yu any chance to breathe, "I tell you, I am such a cold-blooded person, and whoever provokes me, I will never Make him feel better, you don’t know yet, when Brother Qin left, he gave me all his contacts, black and white, and some people help me do things, otherwise you think I can easily get out of the circle Is it famous? I have done countless bad things in the past five years. The fact of Martin is so small that I almost forget it; and Pei Yumeng’s father, whose company was bankrupt by me, That old bastard is still lying in a nursing home; and Pei Yumeng, it doesn't matter if you want to pin her car accident on me. A man's bed, but why...she suddenly became disobedient?"

Yan Ziqian's tone is no longer cold, but with a touch of tenderness, he is even more charming, but the lines between the lines are frighteningly cold, coupled with his crazy words, people can't tell the truth from the fake, and also can't tell the sincerity.. .

After saying this, he sighed hard, relaxed the strength in his hands as if showing kindness, but still firmly grasped Tong Yu's wrist, holding his shoulders and facing his tear-stained face, Yan Ziqian Slightly frowning, his face covered with distress was obvious, he raised his hand to gently wipe away the temperatureless teardrops from the corner of Tong Yu's mouth, and then said in a coquettish tone, "What are you talking about? You don't listen well either. Is it? Yan Ziqian is rich and powerful now, as long as you are willing to obey, you can have whatever you want, house, car, ticket, the whole Houyu, Yan Ziqian can give you whatever you want, what else do you want? fulfilled?"

"But I don't want Yan Ziqian like this, I want the Yan Ziqian from five years ago, the Yan Ziqian from five years ago..." His words made Tong Yu even more unbearable. Tong Yu is extremely strange...

I don't know where the strength came from, but after Tong Yu shook off Yan Ziqian's hand vigorously, he pushed Yan Ziqian's shoulder with all his strength...

Unprepared, Yan Ziqian staggered and fell on the bed...

Tong Yu huddled on the floor with his legs hugged, and the sound of wailing was endless. The crying hurt Yan Ziqian's ears, and also hurt his heart...

"Yan Ziqian five years ago?" He straightened himself up and sat up from the bed, with a stiff smile on his lips, but tears flickered in those extremely empty eyes, "It wasn't you who made Yan Ziqian Did it change? Now Yan Ziqian has become what you dreamed of, but you said you want to go back to Yan Ziqian five years ago, why? Just because Yan Ziqian loves you?"

Tong Yu can't listen to anything now, he is busy feeling sad for Yan Ziqian who has been lost five years ago. He used to live by Yan Ziqian's peripheral vision, which is not dazzling but warm enough; Years have passed, Yan Ziqian can no longer grasp his peripheral vision, his world has become extremely dark, because he finds that they are getting farther and farther away...

Yan Ziqian reached out and wiped the wet and cold tears on his face and wiped them away, stood up gently, he raised his head and did not look at Tong Yu again, his eyes were extremely desperate, and his tone was extremely cold, "But even if he loves you again , Yan Ziqian from five years ago can’t come back either, he’s already dead, when the plane took off, when you were enjoying yourself in Los Angeles, you left him alone in this room, his body was tortured endlessly When the darkness devoured inch by inch, he died countless times, but every time it was because of you..."

At this moment, Tong Yu dared to look up at Yan Ziqian's handsome face that was completely swallowed up by despair. There was no expression on that face, but the eyes that hid endless indifference were still filled with hot tears...

Yan Ziqian said that he had died countless times, and that the five years without Tong Yu he lived like a walking corpse, and how many nights he was able to live by relying on the stiff smiling face in the photos, Tong Yu was too ruthless, and he was too stubborn, which was depressing. During the five tiring years, every minute and every second was his calamity, Tong Yu never participated in it, and had no way of knowing...

Reaching out to straighten the clothes on his body, Yan Ziqian's expression was still cold, and his eyes showed no warmth at all, "Tong Yu, during the years we were together, you ran after me every time, even when you went to Los Angeles. For several years, I kept running towards the goal you gave me, but now I'm tired and I don't want to run anymore; didn't you say that you want Yan Ziqian from five years ago? Qian will stop messing around, let's break up..."

Yan Ziqian didn't miss it, and strode out after saying that...

The sound of closing the door rang in my ears, Yan Ziqian came quietly like a gust of wind, and then left unexpectedly...

But those three words he said at the end were so cruel, they were like sharp scissors cutting off the only remaining kite string between him and Tong Yu, Tong Yu was still curled up in the corner and sobbing fiercely, the huge Apart from the shrill crying, he was still the only one left in the house...