depicting time

When he was about five years old, Xu Yan discovered that he had a very special ability.His eyes can see through people's hearts, whether they are strangers or acquaintances, as long as their inner world is not empty, Xu Yan can see something.

Xu Yan once thought that this was an ability that everyone had. It wasn't until he entered kindergarten and met more friends that he realized that not everyone was as good at observing people's hearts as he was.

He liked his special ability very much at first, because he could read the mind of the kindergarten teacher, became a good student in the eyes of the teacher, and could get the most little red flowers when he came home from school every day.

He can also understand the thoughts of his parents, become a good child in their eyes, and get their praise very easily.

At that time, he thought that he was a child who was born to be able to pick happiness. In a dreamy way, he was a child born in this world with a gift from God.

One day, the teacher in the kindergarten gave a special class to the children, which was about the love between family members.

The teacher said to the children, "Every parent loves their children, and you are their little babies. Watching you grow up healthily is the happiest thing for them."

Many children actively raised their hands, wanting to show off their parents.

Some children said that mom and dad would read stories to me before going to bed.

Some children said that my parents celebrate my birthday every year and give me my favorite birthday present.

Some children said, Mom and Dad often take me to the amusement park, let me ride the Ferris wheel and bumper cars!

……

Xu Yan also raised his hand, and the teacher asked after seeing it, "Does Xu Yan have any stories about his parents to share?"

Xu Yan's answer was completely different from that of other children. He said, "Teacher, my parents may not love me."

Xu Yan searched all over the memories of him getting along with his parents, but none seemed to match the 'love' described by the teacher.

But in front of the teacher, he didn't dare to say for sure, he only said 'maybe'.

The teacher was stunned for a moment, then said with a smile, "Xiaoyan must have misunderstood your parents, they are your closest family members, how could they not love you?"

Xu Yan asked in a very innocent tone, "Then why did my parents never tell me bedtime stories, never celebrate my birthday, and never take me to an amusement park?"

The teacher smiled very gently. She wanted to explain for Xu Yan's parents, "Because different parents express love in different ways."

"Xiaoyan's parents prefer to be busy with work and earn more and more money for Xiaoyan."

Xu Yan was very surprised, "Really? Do they love me?"

The teacher replied, "Of course, if Xiaoyan still doesn't believe it, you can go back and ask your parents. If the teacher believes, they will definitely answer that they love you."

When he went home that day, Xu Yan didn't ask their parents. He chose to believe the teacher's answer.

Believe it, his parents must love him.

No matter how indifferent their eyes and tone are, they are still his parents, so they must love him.

He hid this question for 16 years.16 years passed by deceiving myself.

Until Xu Hengyuan and Zhang Junning personally shattered his dream.

Back home from school that day, Zhang Juanning suddenly remembered to take care of his children, and took Xu Yan home from school early.

She herself claimed that the company still had important matters, so she sent Xu Yan to the downstairs of the community and left.

Xu Yan entered the house alone, and just as he walked into the living room, he heard his father's voice in the bedroom, which he rarely set foot in.

The closer Xu Yan got, the weirder his father's voice sounded. He seemed to be in pain, but at the same time he seemed to be enjoying himself.

When he heard the heavy panting of another man from inside the room, he, who had just entered the third year of high school, immediately understood what the people in the room were doing...

His father is at their home right now, having an affair with a man...

Xu Yan stood outside the door, as if struck by a thunderbolt.

His father, who has always been serious and calm, and who has always talked about noble moral principles...

Xu Yan once thought that he was the best father in the world, except that he was very indifferent to him...he was almost a perfect father.

Xu Yan has always admired his father and took him as an example.

So, how could his perfect father do such an unbearable thing...

While he couldn't believe it, he couldn't help pushing open the door to ask for proof.

The picture in the room shocked Xu Yan's eyes.

He watched Xu Hengyuan being pressed down by a strange man, with his bare legs clamped around the man's waist, and the bells tied around his ankles kept ringing as the man moved.

This scene became Xu Yan's nightmare.

He couldn't forget his father's face immersed in lust, so lewd, he took off his sanctimonious mask completely.

The usually expressionless, seemingly cold-blooded father has regained some of the emotions that humans should have under a man.

Xu Yan's eyes turned red with resentment, and he was completely disappointed in his father.

When Xu Hengyuan saw him barging in, he didn't show much panic. He just put a quilt on the two of them and scolded, "Xu Yan, get out!"

With a cold face, Xu Yan said contemptuously, "Disgusting."

Then he slammed the bedroom door and left.

On September 9th, it was rare for their family to get together during the day.

Xu Hengyuan's cheating incident was completely exposed in this family, but Xu Yan's mother was not surprised, and was still able to talk to his husband very calmly.

"Since Xiaoyan knows about you, let's get a divorce. Don't you want to divorce a long time ago?"

They faced each other, talking about their divorce very calmly, in the same tone as a normal conversation.

Xu Hengyuan said, "It was indeed my fault that I was with Jiang Shiren while our marriage contract was still in place."

"In the divorce agreement at that time, I will add a little more compensation to you."

Zhang Juanning replied, "Okay, you can write whatever you want for compensation."

Xu Hengyuan glanced at Xu Yan who was sitting quietly by the side, and said, "Xu Yan can follow you. After we divorce, I will quit my job at the school and live in District B with Shiren."

Zhang Juanning replied, "After the divorce, you can go wherever you want, we have a non-interference relationship."

Xu Yan kept looking at his parents without saying a word, and when they finished talking about the divorce, he finally spoke.

He sneered and mocked, "You are really the most indifferent couple I have ever seen."

Xu Hengyuan said, "Xu Yan, your mother and I have no relationship in the first place. We are both career-oriented people. We just got married to start a family."

Xu Yan couldn't understand, "What do you mean to start a family? Since you don't love each other, why did you get married? And why did you give birth to me?"

Xu Yan's mood had long since become wrong, but his parents didn't realize it at all, and they still talked to him coldly.

Xu Hengyuan replied, "Because we have reached the marriageable age."

"But Xu Yan, I know I made the wrong choice. Marriage without feelings should not exist. It will only waste our mutual time and delay our search for true love."

"Love?"

Xu Yan suddenly laughed, as if he heard a big joke.

"Dad, are you worthy of saying the word 'love'?"

Soon, Xu Yan no longer called them 'Parents', he laughed in his heart at himself who used to be greedy for fatherly love and motherly love, and angrily accused the two in front of him, "Xu Hengyuan, Zhang Junning, I really hope you never gave birth Me! With parents like you, it is really better to let me go to hell immediately!"

"You are more selfish than the evil spirits in hell! Do you really think I can't see your true colors?"

"It's just that one is more face-saving than the other, and the hypocrisy is more than the other. You want to create the illusion of imitating a husband and wife, so that those outside will envy you and satisfy your vanity! In fact, your hearts are dark, and you are so narrow that you can only pretend Leave yourself alone. With people like you, how can you say the word 'love'?"

Xu Yan had given up all hope and had a complete showdown with his parents.

Since they like to pretend and act, Xu Yan insists on taking off their perfect masks.

Xu Yan looked at his father, peeped into the depths of Xu Hengyuan's heart, and asked, "Xu Hengyuan, does a person like you really have true love? Do you really think you love Jiang Shiren?"

The family didn't know that the Jiang Shiren that Xu Yan mentioned at this time had already arrived outside the door.

He heard the voice from the room and heard Xu Yan's words, "Didn't you say that you have no heart, didn't you say that you only love scientific research? Didn't you tell me these words yourself?"

"You don't even care about your own son, how can you have true feelings for your lover? You just like the affectionate character you are playing now!"

"Is it possible for a selfish person like you to fall in love with someone else? Even if you fall in love with someone, it will only be the most selfish love! When the day he is useless to you, you will dump him mercilessly he!"

Xu Hengyuan's face was livid with anger, and he slapped Xu Yan angrily. He was so angry that he couldn't speak. Zhang Juanning reprimanded him, "Xu Yan, who did you learn these words from! How could you tell your father Such uneducated words!"

Xu Yan's face turned red instantly, but he didn't feel the pain.

Because his heart has long been numb, he sneered at Zhang Juanning, "Zhang Juanning, you are not a good person! You have long wanted to dump this family, otherwise why would you deliberately let me catch Xu Hengyuan hanging out with his man! "

Zhang Juanning immediately shouted, "Xu Yan, your father and I have been training you for so many years, how can you live up to our painstaking efforts and say such unfilial words!"

Xu Yan looked at their hypocritical faces, and after being stimulated by his words to take off their masks, each of them looked worse than the other, revealing their most vicious side.

He couldn't help laughing.

"Hahahaha... haven't I been your good son long enough?"

"When did I disobey your orders before..."

"The reason I listen to you so much is to let you who have no heart remember how to love my son..."

"But I was wrong. People don't have hearts, how can they love?"

In complete desperation, he picked up the fruit knife on the table and cut it on his wrist without hesitation.

No matter how deep the wound was, there were a few more scratches...

The way his parents stared at him told him that they were not worried about his safety, they were only afraid that his death at home for no reason would cause them trouble...

Xu Hengyuan persuaded him, "Xu Yan, put down the knife quickly, don't be impulsive!"

At close to 17:14 in the afternoon, Xu Yan stopped the knife cutting his arm, with red eyes, tears streaming down his face, and shouted loudly, "I hate you, I hate you for giving birth to me!"

A time freeze is a disaster for most people, but for Xu Yan, it is a salvation.

The moment he was about to pick up the knife and stab it in the heart, time stood still in place.

Waiting for the space-time restorer to save him.

"Xu Yan."

When Xu Yan could hear the voice again, Zhang Junning and Xu Hengyuan's shouts were no longer in his ears, he heard a very gentle voice, calling his name non-stop.

"Xu Yan, Xu Yan..."

After forgetting it for so long, Xu Yan finally remembered that it was Yang Tian's voice.

The moment he opened his eyes, he saw Yang Tian standing beside the bed.

Yang Tian had a very warm smile, the moment he opened his eyes, he gave him a very warm smile.

Xu Yan looked at him blankly and asked, "Who are you?"

Yang Tian introduced himself, "I am Yang Tian, ​​a space-time restorer who just rescued you from the stillness of time."

At that time, the space-time restorers were not prepared for the victims, because Xu Yan was the first person they rescued.

Compared to Yang Tian's incomparable rejoicing, Xu Yan didn't feel the joy of the rest of his life, and asked feebly, "Why did you save me?"

Yang Tian replied, "Because saving you is my mission."

This is a nice guy.

Xu Yan made an evaluation in his heart, but said, "It doesn't make any sense to save me, I don't want to live."

Yang Tian said, "I know, I saw your choice, you chose to continue committing suicide."

"But Xu Yan, I don't think you are a person who is willing to give up hope."

Xu Yan didn't even know that he was still unwilling. He said with a wry smile, "Hope... Is there any hope in my life?"

He recalled his short 16 years, but he never got real happiness...

He has always lived in the luxury of his parents, praying every day that they can love him more.

Has there ever been hope for such a life?

Xu Yan said as if talking to himself, "Xu Hengyuan told me that I was a child who did not receive true fatherly love. Because his heart was cold, he only loved scientific research, and devoted himself to scientific research. For my son, there is only responsibility. So, I don't want too much extravagance."

He thought of the scenes he had witnessed with his own eyes, and his heart became colder and colder. He asked, "But why can he still meet the person he loves, and is willing to give up his school work for him and start over?"

He found the answer for himself, "It's not that he can't have love, it's just that he doesn't want to care about me."

He turned to ask Yang Tian, ​​"When I meet such a father, where do you think I can find hope?"

After listening to all his complaints, Yang Tian sat down by the bed, stared at him with warm eyes, and said, "Hope should be in your own hands, Xu Yan, you can only keep it if you are firm enough in your heart." Hope. There will be no eternal answers, and there will be no unchanging people. You can spend your whole life exploring the true meaning of life. Is this kind of expectation enough to support you to live?"

He said, "Xu Yan, you can be the one who creates hope."

create hope...

Although Yang Tian's words disappeared in Xu Yan's memory, in the next ten years, Xu Yan has been following the answers he gave and kept creating hopes for himself.

Xu Yan remembered that he had made a very careful choice that day. After Yang Tian said the words to 'create hope', he asked, "Then is there a way to eliminate despair?"

Yang Tian replied, "There is a way."

"We can make you forget some painful experiences and make you forget what you once felt hopeless about."

Xu Yan begged, "Then please make me forget the love I have for my parents, forget the moments that make me think they love me, forget the moments that let me know that they don't love me. Time and space restorer, please let me I'm going to be an emotionless person."

Yang Tian replied, "I can't agree to the last request, because feelings are your most important treasure. Xu Yan, you have to believe in the future you, and you will definitely meet someone who truly loves you."

Xu Yan asked softly, "The one who really loves me?"

"Yes, it is different from the love between relatives, but he will give you the greatest love."

Yang Tian's words gave Xu Yan hope and made him look forward to the future.

Maybe in the future, I will really meet someone who really loves me.

His love will be wider than the sea, able to accommodate everything, but has the temperature of the sun, driving away all the dark nights.Tolerate all my mistakes and love all my anxieties.

In the future, we will definitely meet such people.