Wanjie takeaway

The gloomy weather is more suitable than the rainy day. The cold wind blows and makes people shiver, and they can't help but want to stop and stop on the road to feel the real feeling of emptiness and loneliness. It can't be said that the air is dry, but it can only make people feel helpless. There is a floating moist atmosphere everywhere, but there is no mellow rain. This is a weather suitable for dreaming.

At this time, human beings are suitable to lie at home, squint their eyes, close the doors and windows, leave a gap for ventilation, yawn slowly, and play TV programs in front of them. Moving clouds, the world is so quietly exuding the temptation of beauty, which makes people want to see and go out, but it can only tempt some weak-minded people.

Thinking about the current temperature, people who want to go out will wrap up their little quilts tightly, and they are not willing to take a step at all.

People who have something to do will go out on their own without being urged, but it is difficult to explain whether this behavior is voluntary.

What about voluntariness like voluntary make-up lessons and voluntary overtime?

Or do you like to sit on the side voluntarily if you like to be quiet, and someone to help celebrate your birthday if you like to be lively?

This is different.

Who doesn't know what true voluntariness should be like?

If it is not of my own will, no matter how human beings express that I am voluntary, there will be a strange and funny situation.

It's like a group of robbers standing on the moral high ground and shooting at some weak people, so no one can see what the person holding the gun looks like.

Not only that, but you have to thank them and give them your money and time as a voluntary price.

"I, am I voluntary? No, no, no! I can never be voluntary, and I never will be voluntary!"

The male voice was sobbing and crying, adding a weird atmosphere to such an environment.

"I don't want to study. I'm sick of them. Why should I go? When did I say voluntary? I never said that I don't want to study. I just don't want to go. Why should I go? ?

They want to collect money, take up my playing time, scold me, roll their eyes at me, accuse me, throw faces at me, pull me behind closed doors to ask questions, and ask me to ask questions. Answer, why should I be beaten and scolded?Just because they're not me?They can be teachers, they can be students, they can be any part of the school, it will never be me.

They only care about their own happiness, who will care about me?But they still have to act as if they are giving me money, as if they rolled their eyes at me, sweared at me, and flung their faces for my own good. They want me to be grateful, reluctant to part, and want me to be intimate with them.This is simply impossible!

I clearly said I didn't want to.

I started to say that in kindergarten, I said that in elementary school, I still said that in junior high school, and I still said that in high school. I always just said, I hate going to school, I don’t want to go to school, I don’t want to go to school, who care What about me?Who listens to me?Who is serious?

In kindergarten, they said I was a child. In elementary school, they said I was ignorant. In junior high school, they said I had no chance. In high school, they asked me what I really want?What else!What else!I've said it, obviously I've said it many times, but no one heard me, no one paid attention to me, and no one would admit what I said!

why?

why?

Because they are different from me.

They were never like me!

They don't understand me, they are always superior to me when they get along with me, and they condescend to me if they say a few words, and even look dirty at a glance.

How could they have heard what I was saying?

Even if I say it a hundred times and a thousand times, no one hears a word.

I wanted to paste the sticky notes that copied the essays from the textbooks, but they tore them off one by one, and pasted the old, tattered and dusty certificates.

I want to put up posters of characters I like, but they sigh every day and tell me that they are ugly and unlucky, so they should be thrown away quickly, and they want my consent.I agree with... what?I do not want to!Who cares about me?

I want to sleep on a smooth and quiet floor. They stood by my bed in the middle of the night, pinched my waist and said to me, I shouldn’t let you be so self-willed. It’s not right for a good person to be a cat, dog and pig. Look at it No one else's child is like you.Are you a pig or a dog?Only pigs and dogs sleep on the ground.

The bed they gave me to sleep in was four times. One time was a wooden sofa, which was spread out, and I fell asleep. For many years, when I turned over at night, the side next to the wall would collapse, with a loud sound, and I would fall from the bed and get stuck in the gap between the dusty floor and the sofa, or fall asleep at the front and back, I don’t know where One side will fall, and there is still a loud sound. In the first half or the second half, it will fall unexpectedly and wake up.

Once it was a small wooden bed, which was worse than bunk beds in boarding schools. It was almost impossible to turn over. It was 180 cm wide and [-] cm long. Inside, the bed curtain was drawn, and the people outside stretched out their hands and raised my curtain from both sides, asking me to go out and follow them.

They discussed the decision to send me to school, and they didn't tell me a word. I didn't know why I couldn't lie on the bed but was taken out until I was sitting in the car at the destination.

One time it was a slightly wider wooden bed, 1.2 meters wide and 1.8 meters long. Half a month later, the bed began to rot. First, a bed board fell off, and then a beam collapsed. The entire back half collapsed on the floor.

I said no, they said it would be fine to fix it, I yelled for hours, they repaired it for hours, but didn’t hear a word, I said take it out and throw it away, they said unless I took out 500 yuan, sleep Less than a week later, another beam fell.

They said that it didn't rot anyway, just go back to sleep.

They care about my life and death, as long as they are happy.

When I yelled no, no one ever heard me. Only when I said what they wanted to hear, could they hear my voice, and they said, I did it all voluntarily, so let me not go back on my word, don’t go back on my word, and don’t cause trouble for everyone. .

woo-

I wanted a cat and they turned the cat away.

I wanted a dog and they gave the dog to a relative.

I want good-looking clothes, and they let me wear the ugliest one. When I grow up, I will give the good-looking clothes of my childhood to other children.

I want to choose a school by myself, they control me, make me obedient, stare at me to answer, want a result that I am satisfied with, and say in a high-sounding manner that it is your decision, and it cannot be changed after the decision, what do you think clear.

Then why are you looking at me?Why do I have less than half an hour to make a decision?

Isn't it decided long ago, now it's just a process, is my opinion important?When did you tell me before?Now ask me to answer, how can I answer?I had a good time in the first school, but you want me to switch to the second one. When I was scolded and cried every day, you just ignored it, and only treated those times when I was not as sad as I used to be. Same?

what differences are there?

I am the only one who is sad.

You are also sad, pretending to be sad, I cry dozens of times, you cry once, cats cry for mice, fake compassion.

The rabbit dies and the fox is sad, and things hurt its kind, not even that.

You will ask me why I refuse to listen.Why don't you like to learn.Why don't you want to have a good time.Why not satisfied.

What can I be satisfied with?

When being scolded?When someone rolls their eyes?When people hold their noses and frown when they are disgusted?

These things, I said, who of you heard?

You just said that you are more obedient than before.

Now it is said that I am disobedient, since I know that I am disobedient, why should I be obedient?

Those things, not a day lessened.

How can I live on? !

Why?

Others can live so well, with money in their families, good looks, talent in studies, ability in work, commanding someone to listen to orders, doing things well, and talking to others, what about me?I have nothing.No money, no good looks, no talent, no academic performance, no work experience, no relatives who can help, no happy things, no right to like what I like, no honesty and trustworthiness, I have nothing.

woo-

Why am I so bad?Why did you want me to live in the first place?Kill me early, won't you?

People like me deserve to die. "

The voice finally stopped.

The owner of the buzzing muttering voice crawled out of the pile of water pipes in the abandoned park.

Just like a ghost.

It rained heavily the night before, and this person was completely drenched, the temperature dropped, and he didn't go home all night. He was shivering from the cold, his face was sickly pale, and his eyes were swollen from crying. The skin outside the clothes was a deadly purple, and his movements were stiff and slow, but his purpose was very clear.

He's heading in one direction.

The eyes are a little hazy because of the remaining tears, but the undoubted seriousness and undoubted affirmation are in the eyes. As the pace advances, a little bit of firmness blooms like a reflection of the light, so that walking on the road, the momentum is more hidden than before. When he was secretly crying, he was more than ten times stronger, and even passers-by who saw him subconsciously avoided him.

Or the person who saw his eyes, the victim who suspected that he had intentions of harming others but didn't realize the logic should be followed by him.