fictional spring

Mr. Doctor must want me to live.

This is by no means an untraceable conjecture. Although he has never said such a thing himself, his actions and the attitudes he has shown these days undoubtedly hope that I can live a better life in this world. Longer.

As I said before at the fireworks display, from the bottom of my heart, from my parents to my doctors to my servants, everyone wanted me to live.

There is no need to delve into the reason, since their feelings have been conveyed to me, then at this time, my own thoughts are actually not important anymore.

But the doctor stared at me blankly and said, "I'm asking you what you think."

Most of the time I don't understand what Mr. Doctor is thinking, and I still don't.

From birth until now, even my parents, no one has asked me what I think—not if I want those jewelry, or if I want to live in this way.

They won't ask me what I think, and they never let me make a choice, they just implement what they think is the best decision, doing those things for me silently.

I didn't feel that they did a bad job, nor did I resist any decision they made for me, but when the doctor told me that he wanted to know my thoughts, I suddenly realized that he seemed to be the first one to tell me People with such words.

And that's something I've never thought about.

How should I put it?

I looked back into those scarlet eyes and pondered for a moment: "Then my answer still hasn't changed."

Although I said such things on my lips, only I knew that my thoughts had actually begun to change.

The reason why I didn't care about what the doctors said before was "I can't survive the next Spring Festival" is because to me in the past, it didn't make much difference whether I could live to that time.

Live a life that is almost the same as the day before, and there is really no need to force it.

Granted, both mom and dad will be sad when that day comes, but it's also the inevitable future.

Human life is only so long, not to mention that I am very self-aware of my physical condition. Although I did not die as early as the doctors asserted, it is absolutely impossible to live beyond the age of 20.

Perhaps this is the so-called fate, but I do not reject such a destination.

——And this kind of thought only lasted until I met Mr. Doctor.

For the first time, I have someone I like, even though he may not be human, it doesn't affect my desire to be with him.

Besides, it's not that Mr. Doctor doesn't like me at all.

One thing worth noting is that the doctor seemed to have a deep obsession with the question of "whether I want to live", so he asked me the same question twice.

But my gut tells me that now is not the best time to give a definite answer.

And I can faintly notice that I seem to have failed to remember something very important.

My answer made Mr. Physician's complexion gradually darken. Without saying a word, he pulled his palm out from under my hand, and then opened the medicine box he carried with him.

The cold medicine entered the blood vessel from the needle. The doctor kept quiet from the beginning to the end, as if he was angry and unwilling to talk to me because I gave an answer that did not meet his expectations. He packed the medicine box and got up to leave .

I didn't call him to stop, I just lay in the bedding and looked at his back. At a certain moment, I suddenly felt that that figure was showing a bit of loneliness for no reason.

I pursed my lips. At this time, the doctor had left the room, but the feeling of loneliness revealed by his back lingered in my heart, and I couldn't help thinking about it repeatedly.

I don’t know much about him, and most of them are superficial. I know that Mr. Physician is a Western medicine doctor who has returned from studying abroad. From the way he dresses, he can tell that his family background is no less than ours. He has superb medical skills. He had a handsome appearance... No matter how you look at it, it is good enough to be called excellent.

So this feeling must be... just my illusion, right?

——*——

When it was approaching late autumn, my mother's friend came to the house as a guest.

According to the servant, the lady in the trendy dress talked with my mother for a long time, and even came to see me in my yard before leaving.It's a pity that I was unwell and fell asleep at that time, so I couldn't see her appearance.

But that night, the face of my mother who came to see me rarely showed some joy.As soon as she came in, she said to me, "Muzuki, I have something I want to discuss with you."

I sat up and listened to her talking about the "Teaching of Bliss for All Ages" that I heard from a friend today.

It is a religion that has existed for more than a hundred years. I heard that there are rumors about the reincarnation of gods in its ancestors. My mother’s friend is also one of the believers. Because she knows my physical condition, she suggested to her to take me to visit. .

But does the so-called Land of Ultimate Bliss really exist?

Compared with gods and Buddhas, I actually believe in medicine more, but if it can make my mother feel relieved, then going with her is not a big deal.

So when my health was a little better, my mother took me out by car.

Wan Shi Bliss Sect is only a small sect after all, so naturally it is not located in the city, and it will take several hours to drive there.I was a little motion sick, so I leaned on my mother's shoulder and took a nap. When I woke up, we had reached our destination.

I used to occasionally go to shrines or temples with my mother - when I was in better spirits.I have seen temples of various sizes, and to be honest, it looks a lot more grand than I imagined.

The believers wearing uniforms walked in the church, and the believers who came to welcome us led us into a room—incense was burning inside, and a wooden screen was erected in the center of the room. On the other side of the screen was the Bliss Church Lord Patriarch.

Unexpectedly, the voice behind the screen was very young.

Calm and gentle, compassionate and compassionate, just like the real Buddha, when his mother prayed to him, the voice would always respond tirelessly.

I think I should take back my previous prejudices. Compared with those temples I have been to before, although the patriarch is still young, he is not inferior to any inner priest I have ever seen.

My mother talked with her for a long time, not only explaining why she came here, but also about my physical condition that had been up and down in the past several times.

"How pitiful..." Master Patriarch said softly, his voice full of pity.

After my mother finished talking about my situation, he decided to see me in person, so he asked the congregation to take my mother to another room to rest, and removed the screen.

A young man who is as young as his voice is sitting on a golden rosette, with white oak-colored hair hanging on his shoulders, his glass-like eyes are full of colorful colors, and tears can be faintly seen in them--it is as beautiful as a god .

When I saw him for the first time, I somewhat believed the rumors of the reincarnation of the gods. If it wasn't a god, how could there be such brilliance?

He called me to him, perhaps because my eyes were too straightforward, Master Jiaozu tilted his head slightly: "Why do you look at me with such eyes?"

"You have beautiful eyes."

The Patriarch laughed, holding the fan to cover the lower half of his face, his eyes slightly closed, covering most of the light inside.

After laughing, he went on to say: "In the past, many people felt the same way, but only a few said it in front of me."

"Is it out of fear of belittling the gods?"

"No," Lord Patriarch shook his head: "It's just because I didn't have a chance to say it."

There was a smile on Mingming's face all the time, but I couldn't detect half a smile from him. Similarly, even though there were still tears on this face that fell after hearing about my illness, I couldn't see any sadness. mood.

It was nothing like the emotion I had heard in his voice.

I took out my handkerchief and wiped the tears off his face.

When he put down the handkerchief, all the expression on his face disappeared, he just looked at me with wide eyes, as if he was a little surprised.

The young patriarch laughed, showing his sharp canine teeth, adding a bit of childishness for no reason, he didn't look like a benevolent Buddha at this time, and said in a lively tone: "My name is Tong Mo, what's your name? "

Obviously, my mother has already told me my name, but since the godfather asked again, I can only answer again: "Gen Muyue."

"Muyue," the patriarch who called himself Tong Mo repeated my name, lowered his head, put his beautiful eyes very close, and said softly, "Muyue stay here with me."

These eyes do carry the magical power of the gods. No matter what tone the patriarch himself uses to say, what he sees in his eyes is extremely gentle.

I paused.

Not just because of what he said, but also because of the smell on his body when he approached.

Although the incense in the room interfered with the smell, when I got too close, I could still smell a faint smell of blood coming from him—a smell very similar to someone.

"Don't you want to?"

I didn't know what my silence meant in the eyes of Lord Godfather, he asked me again, I raised my face to look at him, shook my head and said, "I don't want to."

The patriarch seemed a little disappointed, but he still asked: "Are you reluctant to part with your family?"

I shook my head again.

"why?"

I said to him, "Because I don't think Master Godfather can cure my illness."

As I said before, I trust the medical skills of doctors more than the unreachable gods and Buddhas. At least so far, I have never heard of a patient who can recover only by prayer.

The Godfather was silent for a long time before he burst out laughing and patted my head: "Muyue is so cute."

I didn't speak, and I didn't avoid his touch.

"However, how can you draw conclusions on something you haven't tried?" Lord God Patriarch withdrew his hand.

I think what he said is very reasonable, just like me before, if I don't tell the doctor directly that I want to marry him, how can I know that he doesn't hate me.

So I nodded and told my mother, the Godfather, that I would like to spend more time in the church.