fictional spring

"I didn't mean that. I just thought you probably wouldn't want to know these little things."

But since Miko-sama wants to know, it doesn't matter to tell her.

But after I told the Miko about the serious illness I had when I was young and what the mysterious drug seller had said to me, the Miko's expression suddenly became a little weird.

The expression on that beautiful face seems to be worried and thoughtful, but more like some kind of indescribable and incomprehensible... Should I say resentment?

My intuition told me that it wasn't about my emotions, but more about the lingering sickness of frailty that hung over me.

While frowning and watching me, Miko suddenly spoke again, her voice was very soft, but full of complicated emotions.

"Do you feel pain?"

For a while, I didn't quite understand what the "pain" in Miko-sama's question refers to. Is it me now?Or is it me at that time?

Maybe both.but--

I thought for a moment, blinked and asked her back: "What is the pain?"

Or to put it another way - what do I need to suffer for?

I have noticed since I was a child that the impact of my physical condition has not had much effect on me at all.

In fact, other people probably feel it too, and their effect on the father and the mother is even more pronounced - the feeling that the worried father and the worried mother, either of them, feel They are far deeper than me.

It was as if those feelings that I had not been able to generate were also stuffed into their hearts.

"The pain caused by this frail body," the Miko-sama's voice was full of emotions that I couldn't understand, making her voice hoarse and low: "I can't run or jump, and I can do anything." Feel uncomfortable, even such a small thing as going out in the wind and sun needs to be carefully considered, even if you take two extra steps, you may be out of breath... Seeing yourself trapped in such a body, do you really Is it not at all unbearable?"

Miko-sama spoke faster and faster, and her red plum-colored eyes were fixed on mine, as if she wanted to see what I was thinking from my eyes.

The emotions contained in these words are far more heavy and depressed than ever before—as if, Miko-sama has experienced something similar or the same.

And generally, it is true that human beings can empathize with another's pain only after experiencing equal or even greater pain.

but……

I didn't have the thoughts Miko-sama said.

"why?"

She asked me in an incomprehensible way, and a subtle change occurred at some point, and the pupils of the red eyes stood up.

It was a pure and translucent color like a magnificent gemstone, but it rippled and even became darker due to the look in his eyes.

Seeing Miko-sama showing such a look, I reached out and touched her cheek, and explained, "Probably because I think it doesn't make any sense."

After thinking about it, only this kind of statement is more appropriate to my state of mind.

Because of this, I couldn't feel what Miko-sama said, and I couldn't worry about my physical condition like my father and mother.

"Whether it is physical health or not, or anything else, it is not a problem that can be solved by pain and sorrow." I said to her: "Besides, I never found what you said so unbearable. Things. Look, isn’t Miko-sama also unable to see the sun because of a strange disease?”

Hearing that Miko-sama tightened the corners of her mouth, the downward arc made her entire face start to move in an unhappy direction.

I continued: "But Miko-sama can still come out when there is no sun. So it's the same for me. Although many things can't be done, there are many other things that can be done besides those things. , so it’s not at all intolerable.”

Miko-sama showed a dazed expression, and couldn't read any emotions in her deep red pupils. She was silent for a while, and then suddenly asked: "Then if you can't even do these things you can do now, where will you be?" Do you still think the same way?"

I thought about it, and felt that it might not be good to be too sure about things that never happened, but in terms of my thoughts at this time: "Since you are asking about the current me, then the current me can also tell You, I still think so."

"I don't understand..." Before the words finished, the Miko had already spoken. She clenched her palms tightly and pressed her white knuckles against the wooden floor, as if she wanted to say something else.

"You don't need to force yourself to understand."

Glimpsing her fist, I put my palm on the back of her hand and slowly rubbed her fist away—in fact, she loosened her grip the moment our palms touched.

I held her palm and couldn't help laughing: "People will have things they can't understand, and things they can't control. If you want to understand everything and grasp everything, this kind of thinking will bring more happiness to yourself. Come pain."

Hearing that the Miko-sama opened her eyes wide, after a while, she lowered her head slightly and put her eyes on our palms——

She slowly inserted her fingers through mine, and tightened her palm after clasping her ten fingers together.

The voice of nothingness came from afar, as if it had passed through layers of barriers, and finally fell into my ears.

The witch said, "So...is that what you think?"

This is not a question, but more like some kind of emotion, as if he suddenly understood something, a smile appeared on Miko's lips.

Although I don't know what Miko-sama wants to understand, but looking at her current appearance——

It must be a good thing.

That night I slept in Miko-sama's room.

After I dried Miko-sama's hair, we returned to her room from the hot spring. At the door, I ordered Satoko to move my bedding to Miko-sama's room to make it up.

And when we went to my room to pick up the clothes I was going to wear tomorrow, and then went to Miko-sama's room together, when I opened the barrier door, I saw two sets of bedding that had been made and placed together.

The candlelight lingering in the room softened Miko-sama's facial features, which may also be affected by the change in her eyes. The appearance of Miko-sama at this time makes me feel that she is more approachable than ever.

Even when she found that I had been watching her, Miko-sama would raise a slight arc towards me, as if she was too gentle to comfort her.

I didn't want to break this rare intimate atmosphere, so I didn't say anything, only the dim light of the charcoal fire in the corner made the dark pinch feet red, and the warm charcoal made a subtle crackling sound when it burned.

Most of the warmth that soaked in the hot spring was blown away by the cold wind as early as in the corridor. I retracted myself into the bedding after I came in, and put on a thick quilt, but I was wearing the same thin Miko-sama was still sitting on the tatami, and she didn't seem to intend to go to sleep immediately.

I leaned on the pillow and looked at the Miko who was sitting upright, and couldn't help breaking the silence at this moment: "Are you still asleep?"

Hearing that the witch lowered her head and glanced at me: "Go to sleep first, I..."

"Can't I sleep with you?"

Before Miko finished her explanation, I interrupted her: "What you are doing is very important and must be done now?"

I tried my best to open my eyes and raise my face slightly so that Miko-sama can see my expression clearly at this time——Although I said "you don't need to understand" before, if I talk about it now, I still hope She can understand my thoughts at this time.

Seeing this, the Miko sighed, put down the things in her hands, lifted her quilt, and lay down on the bedding.

The distance between us at this time is only as far as a few heads. When we lie down, we can see each other’s heads exposed from the quilt. Seeing the appearance of Miko-sama at this time, I moved my body and walked towards her. moved closer.

But even so, I still felt that there seemed to be something unfinished. Just thinking about it for a while, I wanted to understand the reason.

So I asked again, "Can I sleep with you?"

Miko-sama was startled, as if she didn't quite understand what I meant, after all, with our current posture, we are already "sleeping together".

not enough……

I still don't think it's enough.

The distance between us is still too far.

When we were soaking in the hot springs together just now, I suddenly understood what my previous self was thinking - rather than looking at it from a distance, I still hope to be closer to the Miko-sama.

and so--

Before the Miko answered, I boldly got out of my bedding and got into her quilt. When I poked my head out, I happened to see the surprised expression on the Miko's face and the fact that there were only a few inches between us. distance.

I don't know if it's my illusion, but Miko-sama's body became stiffer, just like my reaction when I approached her in the hot spring, like resistance, or...

ashamed?

But when I shrank by her side and asked her if it was okay, Miko had already recovered her calm expression, and said softly: "Yes."

Different from other women I know, Miko-sama has a very faint fragrance, but it is not the smell of powder or aromatherapy, but more like a plant-like, soft and natural smell.

Because it is too bland, I can only notice it when I get so close, so that I have never smelled this smell in the usual way of getting along.

But for some reason, when I was lying beside Miko-sama, I suddenly felt a strange, familiar and strange feeling.

It's as if I once slept in the same bed with someone and fell asleep on my feet.

Even if I can't remember what it should be like anyway, one thing I can be sure of is that the smell coming from that person must not be like that of Miko-sama.

At this time, I suddenly smelled the smell of my body - it was the smell of medicine that was stained by years of infection and was hard to get rid of.

A sense of confusion seemed to be upside down, but it became calm because of Miko-sama's body that couldn't generate heat no matter what. My face is filled with dark eyes.

Something blurted out uncontrollably——

"Good night, no misery."

However, Miko-sama made a movement that I never thought of at this time. I don't know whether it was intentional or not. She turned her cheek slightly, and her slightly cool lips touched my palm. After Ban retracted her hand into the bedding, the Miko narrowed her eyes and said softly, "Good night, Mu Yueji."

I don't know if it was because of the cold wind blowing on the way back to the room from the hot spring, or because I was affected by the coolness of Miko-sama when I slept on the same bed. I'm not excited.

Lizi is no stranger to this kind of thing, even because of my frequent minor illnesses, she was sent to the medical center to study for a while, so this simple illness can be solved even without calling a doctor.

But when Lizi brought the concoction to Miko-sama's room, she unconsciously showed disgust on her face—as if she knew how difficult the contents in that bowl were to drink.

I couldn't help but wonder if Miko-sama was forced to take medicine for the strange disease she said she couldn't see the sun, so she showed such a look.

But this kind of thing is always not easy to talk about.

But after I finished drinking the concoction, the subtle expression of Miko-sama became more and more interesting.

"Isn't it bitter?"

she asked me suddenly.

In fact, I haven't been sick for a long time.

Of course, this is compared to the usual frequency.In the past, I got sick almost once or twice a month. Although it was not a serious illness, it would occasionally alarm my father and mother.

Physicians were called in for treatment in a panic, and after a slight improvement, the old disease would relapse, and my body continued to repeat this process.

But when the illness came this time, it had been nearly two months since the last time—since Miko came to the city, it was the first time that I showed a sickness in front of her.

In fact, my mother also visited my yard a few days ago—she just stood in the yard for a while, and didn't call the maid to tell me, nor did she enter my room.

It was only after hearing what Riko told me afterwards that I realized that my mother had always believed that my health was "better" because of Miko-sama.

Not only that, but according to what Lizi said, his father probably thought so too.

It's not surprising that they would have such thoughts. Since the doctors have been unable to make my body heal, it is not incomprehensible to place hope on gods and Buddhas.

What's more--everyone can see that the arrival of Miko-sama does have an effect on "dispelling evil spirits". If this is the case, then it is a good thing for her to stay in the City Lord's Mansion.

But seeing the expression on Miko-sama's face, and hearing her voice asking me if the concoction is bitter, I could understand—Miko-sama didn't do anything to me.

It's just a coincidence.

I shook my head, and retracted my body into the bedding again. Seeing Miko-sama's long hair hanging by her side, I couldn't help but reach out and twist it.

Miko-sama raised her eyebrows, but she didn't pull my hair out from my fingertips, nor did she move away from me, she still kept her original posture, allowing me to move my hands and feet.

Although the temperature during the day is higher than that at night, we still have to rely on charcoal fires for warmth. The body that is more comfortable after drinking the medicine and the surrounding warm temperature make it difficult not to make people feel sleepy.

I didn't know when I fell asleep, but when I woke up, I realized that I had been holding Miko-sama's hair—it seemed that I couldn't let go before going to sleep, so I maintained this position until I woke up again.

but……

"Why don't you take my hand away?"

I apologized a little and said, "This must be very uncomfortable for you, right? I'm sorry."

Hearing that the Miko averted her eyes casually, she only said: "It's nothing."

Those curly and curly long hairs that are completely different from mine, when they are casually scattered around the Miko-sama, are indeed beautiful, but sometimes they might be a bit of a hindrance, right?

Thinking about this, I fetched the wooden comb, and when I sat in front of the Miko, I approached her: "Shall I comb your hair?"

Hearing that the end of Miko's eyes was raised slightly, she didn't seem surprised, instead she turned her head without any resistance, and handed that beautiful long hair into my hands.

In fact, I have never learned how to pull my hair, but in the past, when Zizi combed my hair, I saw her movements in the bronze mirror, and when I was still living in the same yard with my mother, I occasionally went to my mother’s room Here, you can see the scene where the maids are pulling the hair for the mother.

It was not a difficult task. According to the memory, I put on the hairstyle that my mother had combed for the Miko. After the slightly curled black hair was tied up, there were only a few strands of hair at the corners of the temples, which fell on the white as jade On the face, there is a kind of shocking beauty.

But soon I realized that this hairstyle can only be done when I am alone with Miko-sama—this is the hairstyle only married women will wear.

Miko-sama must also know about it, but in order not to disturb my mood, she didn't say anything and just let me dress up.

It is because she cares about me, regards me as an important friend, and likes me just as I like her, so she allows me to do these things to her.

What I have is the first friend in this world who I care about very much, but also responds to my care.

Drenched in the spontaneous joy in my heart, I put down the comb and brought the bronze mirror to show Miko-sama how I look at this moment.

I don't know if she saw her appearance clearly, but when those red plum-colored eyes looked at me, my reflection was clearly engraved in her eyes.

I couldn't hold it back for a while, and wanted to tease the Miko, so I stuffed the comb in her hand into her hand, and said, "Can you comb my hair for me too?"

Hearing this, the Miko was stunned for a moment, she looked at the wooden comb in her hand, and then at me, showing a somewhat embarrassed expression.

I suddenly understood: "Can't you?"

Hearing this, Miko-sama straightened her expression and retorted: "It's just that I'm not very proficient, you... you can turn around."

While saying such words, in fact, Miko-sama's movements are more rusty than "not very proficient". It can even be said that she has never touched this kind of thing, so that she can't even do the most basic combing well.

The tangled strands of hair caused by sleeping were roughly ripped apart by the Miko, and the hair roots and scalp that were affected by this could even make people feel scalp numb.

But I didn't say anything.

It's just... Miko seems to be trying to do the same hairstyle for me, but the result is crooked, obviously a failure.

"It's also pretty."

I stroked the few strands of hair on both sides of my cheeks, trying to make myself look as natural as possible: "Master Miko has done a good job."

Hearing that the witch frowned, she stretched out her hand to remove the hairstyle, but I held down her hair first: "It's really good." I looked into her eyes and told her, "I like very much."

I put my arms around Miko's slender waist: "As long as Miko-sama makes it for me, I will definitely like it."

Hearing that Miko-sama's hand, which was about to remove the hairstyle, fell down and rested on my back, her slightly cool palm gently stroked my back.

After a while, Miko suddenly said, "But I want to give you something better."

Before I had time to respond, Miko added: "You deserve better."

I don't know if it's my illusion, it's clearly extremely gentle and touching words, but I feel a little strange for no reason, and I can even feel a kind of chill penetrating into the bone marrow from the palm of Miko-sama's hand on my back.

It's a very strange feeling.

After that, it took me a long time to realize that the Miko-sama at this time might not be happy at all—she seemed to be recalling some bad memories, as if I would nod her head in approval, and her mood would turn sharply down again. .

But at this time, I subconsciously ignored the weird feeling and just kept my own opinion, so I couldn't help laughing at this moment.

"I think Miko-sama is good enough."

I raised my head from her arms: "Perhaps in reality, better things do exist, but in my eyes, as long as it is given to me by the Miko, it is the best in my opinion."

Hearing this, Miko's body seemed to become stiff in an instant, and the palm that was caressing my back also trembled slightly.

She stared at me deeply, then suddenly laughed, lowered her head actively, and pressed her forehead against mine: "Do you really think so?"

A cool breath fell on my cheeks, and the long eyelashes could almost hit my eyelids. Miko-sama closed her eyes halfway, and the curve of her mouth was seductive and charming.

I nodded subconsciously, and the movement also led Miko to nod.

"Then..." Miko still reached out to remove the crooked hairstyle. As she started, she pressed against my cheek, her lips were almost on my ears, and the voice that flowed out was like singing a moving waka .

"I will definitely be able to do better in the future," Miko whispered in my ear, "So every time, I will do better than the last time."

This is both a promise and an oath, a "curse" and "fate" that connects each other's feelings.