fictional spring

"He...is different from anyone else."

At least in my mind.

I said to Ah Shun: "There are indeed many people who are gentler, kinder and easier to get close to than him. As Ah Shun said, brother Chenzang has a much better personality than him, but he likes this kind of thing. It cannot be measured by these things alone.”

Hearing this, Ah Shun showed a ignorant expression, apparently such words were too profound for her.

But something unexpected is that after thinking for a while, Ah Shun tilted his head and looked at me: "So there is no reason to like someone? Even if he is not good at all, he can still be Mu Yue's favorite person?"

After she spoke, she frowned directly, obviously still holding grudges - after all, when Ah Shun and Wu Mi met, the impression he left in her mind could indeed be regarded as "not good at all".

I couldn't help laughing.

"When Ah Shun grows up, he will understand."

Hearing this, Ah Shun curled his lips, showing a distressed look: "But it will take a long time to grow up... If you want to grow up to the age of Sister Muyue..."

As she spoke, she spread her palms and counted on her fingers, counting the age difference between herself and me.

Seeing this move, I suddenly felt a little emotional, "It's grown to my age..."

Still not enough.

For other people, for any ordinary person, my life is too short.

However, life, old age, sickness and death in the world are like this, and countless lives are taken away by natural disasters and man-made disasters every year.

But, "Ah Shun will grow bigger than me." I said to her: "I will grow up to a more mature age than me, and then I will meet someone I like and like myself, have a relationship with him, and become a husband and wife , and he will truly last forever."

Ah Shun listened carefully, opened his eyes wide and asked me, "What is Everlasting?"

I said softly: "It is to be together all the time, no matter what, they will never be separated, until both of them become gray-haired old people, and then recall the past times of accompanying each other, and go to bliss together in happiness."

Hearing this, Ah Shun was puzzled, with the acumen of a child, he recognized the insincere in my words, so he asked me: "Then sister Muyue and brother Qingzhi can't last forever?"

I fell silent.

Questions like this...

This is not a question that can be determined by my will. Just like when Wu Mi asked me if I had such an idea, I knew it clearly—even if I said I thought, said I would, and said I wanted to be with him all the time Together, it can't change the ending of fate.

What stood between me and him was an insurmountable destiny.

What we have to face is a future in which my health deteriorates and I cannot continue to be by his side.

Maybe it was because I was silent for too long, Ah Shun called me again, seeing that I turned my attention to her again, the young girl asked me seriously: "When will Sister Muyue recover from her illness? "

Even though her family didn't tell her the truth, the kid still saw sickness in me—a sense of weakness that didn't fit the bill of a truly healthy, ordinary human being.

I raised my hand and touched her head, and replied softly: "When the day when it should get better, I will probably be able to get better."

It's just... on that day, no one knows when it will be.

When Hasegawa-sama and his family left, they rejected my proposal to see them off at the door, considering that I was not in good health to go out.

The maid who said she was going to bring me today's concoction didn't come back after a while.Just when I was bored and picked up the collection of poems on my pillow and wanted to browse through them casually, someone opened the barrier.

Wu Mi who came in with a food case, put the food case on the low table beside me, then picked up the medicine bowl on the food case, and handed it to my hand.

His movements were very careful, as if he was afraid that the wall of the bowl might burn my hands, and he deliberately held the bowl with both hands, felt the temperature of the wall of the bowl himself, and sent it to me after confirming that there was no major problem. before.

As long as I see him, the corners of my mouth will raise unconsciously, which is something I discovered inadvertently—just like now.

I took the bowl from his hand, looked at the black concoction in the bowl, exuding an indescribable smell, and for some reason, the movement that was about to drink the medicine suddenly stopped.

I am not afraid of bitterness, nor do I dislike the unpleasant taste, and I never hesitated when taking medicine before.For me, taking medicine is just a very common and normal thing, and I know very well that doctors often tell me that "drinking it while it is hot will be more effective", so I will not procrastinate.

But when Wu Mi handed me the medicine bowl in his hand, I suddenly wanted to wait a little longer.

I want to talk to him a few more words, because I suddenly have a feeling - I have to say it now.

I raised my face, shifted my eyes from the medicine to his eyes, looked into those red plum-colored pupils, and asked him, "Can you read me poetry again?"

Wen Yan Wuyan lowered her eyelids, leaned over and picked up the collection of poems on my lap, opened a page at random, and recited in a soft and slow rhythm the lines of poems that I had already memorized by heart.

Listening to his voice, I slowly drank all the concoction in the bowl.

But when I put down the medicine bowl, I realized that although the voice of chanting poetry continued, the pair of red plum-colored eyes had already moved away from the paper and landed on me. His silent eyes watched my every move deeply—as if watching me drink this bowl of medicine with his own eyes was an important event to him.

Just as I valued him, his every move, and all his thoughts—so did his feelings for me.

I originally thought so.

But after a while, I discovered something - he seemed a little strange at this moment.

The pale boy didn't speak, his thin lips that were also bloodless were tightly pressed together, and the corners of his lowered mouth added a bit of gloom - although it was the same most of the time, the aura emanating from Wu Mi's body at this time was like It was as if he was saying something wordlessly, so I couldn't help but want to talk to him and ask him what he was thinking at this time.

but……

Strange changes have taken place in my body.

It is clear that I have never felt such a feeling after drinking medicine in the past - it is not the choking and nausea caused by the bitterness of the medicine juice, but a kind of unbearable pain as if something is swimming in the body and an unspeakable sense of suffocation.

His throat seemed to be strangled by an invisible palm, which was completely different from the normal reaction in the past when he couldn't restrain the urge to cough, and there would be fishy-sweet blood rushing up from his throat.

It is not like the dizzy, hot and weak feeling that occurs when you occasionally feel the wind and cold.Rather... the experience that every cell in the body seems to be being corroded by something.

It was something that didn't belong to me churning and clamoring in the blood, as if it was about to penetrate the tyranny of the skin - it was a pain that went deep into the bone marrow.

The medicine bowl in my hand fell down without knowing when, and I didn't care whether it fell on the bedding or the tatami, because at this moment, I couldn't even maintain my body sitting up, let alone sitting up. To focus on something else.

"what happened……"

After a few words were squeezed out of my throat, I couldn't speak a word anymore. I raised my face with difficulty, trying to look at the person beside me, but found that his face had become blurred.

I felt a little regretful, but this regret was overshadowed by a sudden and more severe pain.

The distorted and hideous pain brought about convulsive convulsions, which could not be restrained or relieved. This appearance must be extremely embarrassing and ugly. I curled up uncontrollably, but found that my consciousness seemed to be like The vision became more and more blurred.

— Am I going to die?

Only such doubts remained in my mind.

But this clear doubt was quickly dispelled by messy thoughts, why did it suddenly become like this?Where did this unprecedented pain come from?Is it because of the bowl of medicine or something else...

At this moment, Wu Mi, are you still looking at me?

The moment the thought popped up, the answer came along with it.

--do not look at me.

I don't want him to look at me like this again.

At this moment, it seemed that someone picked me up and embraced me with cool palms. The cold touch took away part of the pain. I opened my eyes with difficulty, and saw the close-up The face at hand.

"Do not be afraid."

This sentence... I didn't say it.

It is Wu Mi who holds me in his arms.

The person who could no longer see my face clearly held me in his arms, and covered my face with his cold and slender fingers. He combed the long hair scattered on my face for me, and put the cold hair on my forehead and eyebrows. kiss.

"Do not be afraid……"

He repeated this sentence over and over again, and he didn't know whether he was saying it to me or himself-don't be afraid.

I suddenly felt a little sad.

However, I can no longer tell whether it is the emotion caused by the body or the emotion. The pain as if to tear the skin invaded the whole body again, which has never happened before—even when the condition is the most serious , also incomparable pain.

I'm probably crying.

Because of the wet feeling on his face, it took away the heat that was not much on his cheeks, but this coolness was briefly exchanged for a moment of clear vision.

I saw his face—a very familiar face.

This familiarity is not just from the short-lived relationship in the past few years, but the longer and longer past and future time, which seeps out from the cracks of those times, with the precipitation and profundity after being infected by the years.

We must have seen it before or at a later time.

I have heard a saying that when a person is about to die, all the memories will flash in his mind, whether it is those things that he thought he had forgotten long ago, or the existence that he thought was not important at all, all of them can be found in the past. A brief moment emerges.

So I saw a lot of sights that I had never imagined before.

This is not the memory of my ancestors or others, but my own, a memory from my own who doesn't know when.

【Edo Chapter. End】