fictional spring

The weather is gradually warming up, and the day of the mountain god festival is approaching unknowingly. The servant at home told me that during the mountain god festival, beautiful fireworks can be seen near the river.

How long has passed since the last time I participated in the Mountain God Festival, I don’t really remember, but I have a vague impression that when my mother was still alive in the past, our family participated in such a festival together.

Those beautiful fireworks, lively crowds, and happy families...

Distant memories seem to be shrouded in a hazy veil and become so blurred.The only thing that still exists today is the source of my father and me, and his inadvertent sadness.

Perhaps it was for this reason that my father was unwilling to take me out that day—on that day, he would always say that he was busy with work, apologize to me, and then rush back to the town office. Won't come back all night.

I can understand my father's mood, so naturally I won't blame him, and this kind of thing is not important to me, so it doesn't make much difference whether I participate or not.

But this year's mountain god festival is a little different from usual.

When I heard the news from the maid, Qingzhi happened to pass by the corridor, and heard the maid describe the scene in an enthusiastic tone, so he stepped into my room, sat beside me and asked me if I I want to go out to participate in the mountain god festival.

Such a distance is like whispering between ears.

"Does Qingzhi want to go?" I took a few steps back and asked him back.

The black-haired, red-eyed boy hesitated for a moment, with a look of difficulty in making a decision.

Seeing this, I said, "Then think about it again. There is no need to be too anxious. Anyway, there is still a long time between now and then."

But to my surprise, my father also found out about this during dinner, and said something that surprised me.

When he put down the bowls and chopsticks, he said, "Muyue still wants to go out to play, right? After all, it's a festival that only happens once a year. In the past, I didn't have time to go out with you..." At this point, my father changed the subject: "But now Since Qingzhi is at home, then let's take my sister out for a stroll."

The atmosphere during the banquet was silent for a moment, no one spoke, I turned my gaze to Qing Zhi, the corner of the boy's mouth raised a slight arc, it was a noble and elegant perfect smile.

He nodded in agreement.

If it was within my expectation that Qingzhi would agree, then the boy who showed such a smile and such a gesture really made me feel a little strange.

Is it supposed to be like this?

I don't know, but my father is very satisfied with his performance, and because of this, he showed a look of admiration.

This kind of situation made me fall into deep thought. We obviously meet each other every day, but we only went to the gymnasium to practice for a few months, but it became strange to me unconsciously...

Seeing that I was absent-minded, Qingzhi asked me why on the way back after dinner.

"Don't you want to go out?"

——Still don’t want to go out with me?

Although he didn't say it explicitly, I think he meant it.

In front of me, he told me not to treat him as a child, but in fact, the performance in front of my eyes is not exactly what a child of this age should be like?

So I shook my head and said, "It's not that I don't want to, but if my father doesn't want me to go out, then it doesn't matter if I don't go out."

Hearing this, he stopped in his tracks, turned his face to look at me: "Why?"

I didn't know what the "why" meant, so I also stopped, standing on the corridor and asking him with puzzled eyes.

I don't know what he thought of, and said in a low voice: "Why do you always follow other people's ideas? What do you think, doesn't it matter at all?"

At this time, Qingzhi showed that he cared more about this matter than I did, which made me stunned for a moment.

I didn't feel pain or sadness, and it was precisely because I didn't have any particular preference, so I really felt that whatever was fine—but it was also for this reason that Kiyoshi seemed to have misunderstood my thoughts.

Wronging myself for others, or just letting others play without any opinion, no matter what he thinks, it is not the right answer for me.

After thinking about it, I decided to tell him my true thoughts: "It's because I don't care about anything in particular, so I feel that I can do whatever I want."

Hearing this, Qingzhi's expression darkened instantly, as if he was displeased to hear me say such a thing.

I don't quite understand the reason, but maybe... it has something to do with some of his thoughts.

At certain times, Qingzhi really behaved like a child of his age, but at other times, the way he looked at me made me feel that this was not the way a child of this age should appear at all.

It was so deep and far away, as if what he was looking at was not me, but the existence in other memories.

I thought there was nothing wrong with my answer, but Qingzhi didn't seem to think so.

He was silent for a while, and then he slowly squeezed out his voice, as if he was pressing every single word from his throat, heavy but light: "Don't you have something you care about? Something you don't want to let go of anyway, yes Does it really not exist at all for you?"

He seemed a bit stubborn when he said this, his plum red eyes were fixed on me, as if he would not give up until I got an answer.

The so-called things I care about actually exist, but if I say that I am unwilling to let go of them no matter what... Such existence seems to be something that I can't imagine now.

Even if I didn't say a word, Qingzhi could see what I was thinking. He pursed his lips and stared at me with frowns.

"Really not?"

he asked again.

He was a rather stubborn kid, and it was always clear to me that he took everything too seriously.

Logically speaking, I can actually tell him that it exists, but if he continues to delve into it, I'm afraid I will be overwhelmed, so I just tell the truth.

Qingzhi's bloodless face seemed to have become even paler. The eyes looking at me were mixed with complex emotions that I couldn't understand. There seemed to be a flash of sharp vertical pupils in the eyes. color.

I had no choice but to reassure: "Although there is not yet, maybe there will be in the future."

I reached out and touched his cheek, I smoothed his wrinkled brows, stayed on the skin that was too white for a moment, held his face and said to him: "If there is such a day, wait until I If you really have something you are particularly concerned about, an existence you want to keep no matter what, then I will definitely tell Qingzhi as soon as possible, is that okay?"

What needs to be noticed is that when I said this, I never thought that that day would actually come to me not long after.