fictional spring

The first time I met that man, he appeared to me as a new physician.

It was the first year of the Meiji era, and the Restoration Movement, the name change of Edo Castle, and the publication of a political book, although these did not affect me much, but the servants discussed it very enthusiastically.

Because of poor health since I was a child, I had to stay in bed for many years, but fortunately, my family is relatively well-off, and my family does not participate in political affairs, so I can live an ordinary life day after day.

In fact, this is not the first time I have changed doctors, so I am not surprised at the arrival of a new doctor.

The doctors who were invited when I was young always said that I probably wouldn’t survive the next Spring Festival, so my father and mother had to make psychological preparations every year, but later found that although my body never got better, I always managed to get rid of it miraculously. The assertions of the doctors have lived through what they said Spring Festival after another.

They attribute this to the favor of the gods, and they are deeply grateful to the god who gave me this favor, and they firmly believe that I am a child favored by the gods.

Because of this, they trust the priests of shrines and monks of temples more than the words of doctors.

And I also know the reason why the last doctor was dismissed, because the servants told me—the doctor said that I might not survive the next Spring Festival.

No wonder my father and mother showed such cautious expressions when they brought a new doctor to see me.

In fact, they are still afraid, afraid that I will really die before that day, so whenever a doctor says that, they have to go to the shrine or temple to pray for me, and then invite a new doctor.

My father and mother will not tell me all the things they have done for me, but the servants like to come to me and report to me, because every time they bring new news, I will send my jewelry or change give them.

I haven't been out for a long time, so the jewelry is dusty in the box, not to mention the change, even if I store a full box, there is no place for me to use it.

The servants at home need these things more than I do.

My mother once asked me where all the jewelry went because she wanted to put a beautiful hair accessory on my hair but couldn't find the one she bought for me.After I told her the truth and explained the reason, my mother held me and cried for a long time.

I was held in her arms, and I felt the air in my lungs was slowly decreasing because I sat up for too long, but I still didn't make any sound, because I knew that if I told her this feeling, she would be even more sad .

I am very grateful for everything they have done for me, and I hope I can meet their expectations, but when they left the room, leaving only the doctor packing the medicine box and me lying on the bed, I still turned my face and raised my face. Eyes ask each other——

"Is my illness already serious?"

It's different from the previous feeling. My health seems to be getting worse recently. Sometimes I cough up blood clots at night. Although I cover it with a veil every time to hide it, my father and mother may have discovered it.

They looked at me with eyes full of pity.

Hearing such a question, the doctor stopped cleaning up and asked me, "Do you want to live?"

I couldn't help laughing, it was just an ordinary smile to ordinary people, not even the level of a big laugh, but my body made me unable to support such an expression, so that breathing became difficult. difficulty.

The doctor looked at me blankly, eyes filled with things I had never seen before.

He is a very young and handsome young man with curly black hair and beautiful red eyes that are as transparent as jewels.It is said that it is a Western medicine doctor who has returned from studying abroad.

No wonder he smelled completely different from other doctors.

I don't really care about his question.

I felt neither pain nor fear. I had already gotten used to the physical discomfort, and I could bear it even if it continued to worsen.But the way my parents looked at me made me feel that they were suffering more than me.

So, "Probably... I thought about it." I said softly.