Spring is coming

This is the tenth year since Yin Chunxin's death.

Xueli heard in the alumni group in the morning that the old campus was about to be demolished, so she decided to take a look.

She has nothing to miss. The school, teachers, and classmates just maintain superficial social etiquette. For professional reasons, interpersonal communication cannot be avoided.

Still on this road, Xueli sat in the back seat of the taxi, thinking of the phone call on Christmas Eve ten years ago.

"Sorry, I missed you..."

It's been too long, and I can't remember the mood at that time. I only remember the gentle female voice on the radio and the warm words and exhortations. When the winter is rare in a century, remember to add clothes to keep warm.

Cold?Is the once-in-a-century exaggeration?

Xueli didn't feel much. Every year after Chunxin left, she felt the same cold.

Entering the school gate, there is a small food shop on the right. Xueli remembered that Chunxin liked to eat his duck legs and potato noodles.

This kind of small food shop is everywhere. I heard that they use chili essence. It looks like there is no chili pepper, but it can make people's throat smoke, and the stomach hurts like a fire.

Chun Xin is very good at eating spicy food, and he is addicted to spicy food. He often eats until his mouth becomes scarlet, and Sihashi looks for water to drink.

Xueli thought of her lips again, they were beautifully formed, small and plump, with clear lines and watery lips.

We parted once when we were teenagers. It seemed that we went back to the north to see our grandparents during the Chinese New Year. We had to take a bus from Rong County to the city before we could transfer to the plane.

Chun Xin came to see her off. In the car, she stepped on her feet and kissed her forehead.

That feeling was very special, Chun Xin smelled of washing powder, and there was still a faint smell of grass and flowers in his memory.

She didn't expect her to do that at all. When she got close, the world in Xueli suddenly became clear, and the dull and unpleasant smell of the bus was dispelled. During the four-hour drive, the kiss on the forehead was all in her mind.

Now too.

——Ah, if you don’t pay attention, your thoughts will drift away.

Chun Xin is long gone. She has been gone for ten years, but she is everywhere.

The weather is already very cold. The winter in the south is wet and cold. I heard that the temperature will drop below zero and it may snow.

Xueli pushed the thin black-rimmed glasses on the bridge of her nose, put both hands into the pockets of the long black coat, and walked around the blue profiled steel plate outside the construction site.

There is a big pit at the entrance of the snack shop, and the rolling shutter door is stained with rust. In such a cold day, there is a clump of tender green weeds growing stubbornly in the cracks in the tiles in front of the door.

In the past, every time I went back to school, Xueli would buy some snacks and take them back to the dormitory to eat slowly.

She can't eat spicy food very much, and she started to cry while eating.

It is said that eating spicy food is related to heredity and genes. She has been practicing for nearly ten years, and she has tears in her eyes every time she eats spicy food.Whether it's eating at home or gathering with colleagues, I think of Chunxin when I stare at my job.

It's nothing, it's too spicy, it's just a physiological reaction.

Sometimes even I can't tell whether it's too spicy or I miss her too much.

It hasn't rained in the past few days, and the yellow mud road dug out by the excavator has been stepped on tightly. The little black leather boots jumped a few steps lightly and landed on the clean old asphalt road. Bai Qi, move on.

There are many mountains in Nanzhou City, and many parks, including the old campus of NTU, are also built on hillsides.

Both sides of the uphill road are full of cherry trees. During the blooming period in March and April, you can see a pink cloud from a distance.

Chun Xin came here once, it was the season when the flowers were in full bloom, and Xueli took her through places worth visiting around the school.

In fact, it is not a good place, it is nothing more than the standard football field, artificial lake and grove that every university has.

Chun Xin was amazed again and again, she was always full of curiosity about everything, even if it was just a broken wall surrounded by creepers.

It was still cold in early spring, and the sun was shining brightly. They were lying on the lawn of the football field. She was wearing an old beige sweater, her long fluffy and slightly curly hair was sprinkled on the grass, her eyelashes covered her eyes, and her beautiful lips were bloodless. pale.

That was the scene that Xueli had recalled countless times. At that time, she was already very thin, and there was nothing under the sweater and trouser legs. For some reason, she often had nosebleeds.

Is it sick or was beaten by family members?She seemed to have said it, but Xueli had forgotten it long ago, or she didn't listen much at that time.

Later, I wanted to ask, but I had no chance.

The current football field is like a shedding old dog curled up in the corner in the cold wind, the yellow turf is patchy, and the iron mesh fence has been dismantled and sold.

This is not the lawn in Xueli's memory, but it is such a lawn that will be completely shoveled away by excavators after a while.

Everything about Chun Xin is slowly disappearing with time.

Chun Xin has no family anymore, she has suffered since she was a child, except her, no one will remember her, think of her, and feel sorry for her.

If one day, even she forgets, who will remember that there was a Chun Xin in this world.

Wearing an old off-white sweater, with curly hair, Yin Chunxin was lying on the lawn quietly basking in the sun with his eyes closed.

"Lawyer Xue, is that you?"

Someone greeted him head-on, Xueli came back to his senses, and the corners of his lips were habitually stiff.

"excuse me……?"

"Fang Ting, a school girl a year younger than you...It's normal for a barrister not to remember...you come to see the school too."

"Yes, I heard it's going to be demolished, let's take a look." Xueli replied instinctively, pushing her eyes with her fingertips.

Fang Ting looked at the gray sky in the distance, "Time flies so fast, graduation seems like yesterday."

"Yes."

Time flies so fast, ten years of ignorance, except for Chun Xin, who became more and more clear in his mind, what was happening or what was going to happen around him seemed to be very far away from her.

Xueli is tall, with long straight black hair tied in a bun on the back of her head, her eyes are hidden under the lens, the reason for the angle is a blinding white, her lips are slightly pursed, making it difficult to approach.

The other party exchanged a few casual greetings and left, but Xueli didn't hear what he said.From the moment she entered the school gate, she was deeply immersed in memories, and her whole body was in a state of dissociation.

Her soul is divided into two parts, one is pessimistic and avoids the world, curled up in a dark corner all the year round, and the other is rational and resolute, as tireless as a plugged-in machine.

In the dead of night, I look up at the ceiling, rummaging carefully on the beach of memories, looking for the small shells related to Chunxin that are buried in the ground.

——Chun Xin, Chun Xin.

Another place is the back street of the school, and there is a shop selling egg-filled pancakes.Is it the first household, the signboard has been changed, and I can't find it after moving away.

Add bacon, add ham sausage, add two eggs, a lot of chili sauce, wrapped in lettuce.Chun Xin said that it was the best thing she had ever eaten.

Afterwards, Xueli often thought of the way she squinted and smiled, no matter how good the food tasted, it was tasteless.

When I was a child, I shared my pocket money with her. I bought steamed stuffed buns with soy milk and spicy bread.

When I came back from the north, I ate Roujiamo and mutton soup. I told Chunxin that she was so hungry.

At that time, he made a vow that he would take her to eat the best food in the world, and he also said that he would buy a house to live with her, be her family, and be together forever.

Now she has a job, money, and a house.

What he promised her, but nothing happened.

Taking off his glasses, Xueli wiped his eyes with the back of his fingers, and walked out the back gate of the school along the narrow road on the slope. The wind gradually picked up, making his face hurt and his ears hurt.

Stopping in front of the iron gate downstairs of a self-built house, Xueli took out his mobile phone to make a call.

Ten minutes later, a middle-aged woman in bright red pajamas with large flowers ran over from the intersection against the wind.

"You're here. This is the last time. This piece will be dismantled in the future. If you want to see it again, you won't be able to see it."

Xueli didn't answer, the woman took out the key and opened the door, leading her up to the third floor.

There are many self-built houses behind the school, five or six stories high, and the owner's house is basically built into a small room with one bedroom, one living room and one bathroom, which is specially rented out to students.

Ten years ago, Chun Xin secretly rented a room here without telling her. Her grandmother died of illness, and she has been living here since she was kicked out by her family.

She had been dead for several months, and there was a foul smell in the house at the beginning of spring. Xueli only learned of her death after the landlord called the police.

She lived here for half a year, during which they did not meet formally.

After that, Xueli often thought, did she hide behind a corner of the school and peep at her?Have you ever bought food at the cafeteria she often goes to?Have you ever sheltered from the rain under an eave and shaded under a big tree?

After Chun Xin left, those corners that he never paid attention to, he would always stand there for a while when he passed by.

Including this rental house, you can see the school football field when you open the window. Chun Xin must often stand at the window.

……

"Go ahead, I'll stay by myself for a while." Xueli said standing at the door of the house.

After Chunxin's death, Xueli rented this place for a whole year without leaving a key. She came to visit once a year, and only called the landlord when she got to the door.

Thinking that you have to bother others every time you come, you will not come all the time.

The landlord's aunt handed her the key, "I won't see you again, let's keep it as a souvenir."

Xueli stared at it for a while, then stretched out her hand to take it, "I have troubled you for these years."

The landlady sighed, said nothing, and went downstairs with her hands in her hands.

Xueli opened the door and went in. There has been no change in the place for ten years, and no one has cleaned it. The dust is layer after layer, and the air is rotten and dull.

A bed was placed against the wall, and the quilt had long been thrown into the garbage and burned, and no new ones were put on it.

On the bedside table was a little bear doll wearing a red scarf. The eyes on the buttons had long since disappeared. It was given to her by Xueli when she was in junior high school.

She sleeps with her in her arms every day, and she takes it with her wherever she goes. It is not a very expensive thing, it is already very old, and the long brown hair falls off in pieces here and there.

Little Xiong had no one to accompany him for ten years, sitting alone against the wall, with a dull red scarf.

The house is not big, and the kitchen is separated by a wall. A simple stove is built, and the bathroom is on the left.

The bowls and chopsticks she used, the clothes she wore are still here, and they are still in their original state, with traces of her life everywhere.

Xueli took off her coat and hung it on the wall, rolled up the sleeves of her sweater, took out a rag and turned on the faucet to wet it.

The pipeline was in disrepair for a long time, and the water just released was cloudy in color. After waiting quietly in the snow for a while, I stretched out my hand.

The condition of the rental house was poor, and the water heater had broken down long ago. Xueli remembered that Chun Xin told her that she got scalded on her back while taking a bath, so it must be here that she got scalded.

Forgot which winter day it was, she took a bath here on a whim, but no hot water was released.

It was already April at that time, and the water was still very cold. After I gritted my teeth and washed my hair, I had nothing to dry my hair. I went home against the cold wind and developed a high fever at night.

That's how Chun Xin died. She was sick and didn't want to live anymore. She lay on the bed after taking a shower, and she couldn't get warm no matter how much she covered her.

When I was still conscious, I called her for the last time and said that I missed her.

She hung up the phone and got into a taxi to spend Christmas Eve with her classmates.

She lay in the rented house from December to March, her body was rotting and smelly, and it made the social news.

[A 17-year-old girl died in a rented house, and her body was found three months later]

The water was so cold, it hurt people's bones, Xue Li's eyes were blurred, his fingers were red, and he clutched the rag and began to clean, no matter how much he wiped, he couldn't wipe off the water stains.

The police called her home, but no one cared, and they would not come when someone died.In the end, it was Xueli's mother who paid for the cemetery and buried her in a cemetery on the outskirts of the city.

On the top of the mountain, the location is very good, you can see far.

This is the last year. Once the house is demolished, I can only visit her in the cemetery.

Xueli doesn't like to go to the cemetery, she always feels that she is still there.

Such a large living person would be gone if he said nothing, and the ashes were only burned out in a small jar.

Xueli knelt down on the ground, covered her face with her hands, and finally couldn't help crying loudly.

--------------------

The author has something to say:

Rebirth, HE, won't be sad for long.

This time, it's all about literature and art, and the cover is so different.

The next book is "Like a Swallow Returning to its Nest"

Copywriting: Fang Jian decided to die.

She dressed up for this purpose, stole her sister's dress, necklace, earrings, perfume, stepped on high heels that didn't fit her feet, and used alcohol's psychedelic tricks to skillfully tease and strike up a conversation in the midst of feasting and debauchery, and randomly selected one unlucky guy to spend a good night with her .

She may secretly hang herself in the hotel room while the other party is asleep, thinking of the panicked appearance of the other party when she wakes up in the morning, she has already begun to tremble with excitement for the upcoming prank effect.

However, after a night of carnival, Jiang Xiaolai promised her with an upright and old-fashioned face, "I will be responsible for you."

Fang Jian was incompetent and furious - she was obviously the one above!Why Jiang Xiaolai!

Can't bear it!Fang Jian tried to win the round, but could only shelve the plan temporarily.

**

Fang Jian was led away by Jiang Xiaolai with his fingers hooked, and she blushed when she saw her blushing by the simple camp bed in the staff dormitory, "If you really have no place to go, stay with me for a while, and go outside after I get paid. I will rent you a house."

Let's see what other tricks she has, Fang Jian "reluctantly" stayed, and Jiang Xiaolai, as promised at the beginning, worked hard to give her the life she wanted.

It has nothing to do with fame or fortune, just three meals a day, accompanied day and night, Jiang Xiaolai is like a hardworking weaver bird carrying grass leaves and branches to build her a warm nest.

Although Fang Jian is useless, moody, and a complete idiot in life, Jiang Xiaolai still loves her without complaint.

Having had such a sincere and simple love, Fang Jian thought that she would die without regret.This trip was not in vain.

#Fang Jian is sick#

#True Mental Illness#