city ​​garden without flowers

Lu Chuanhuan chose an American-style dining bar with a good decoration atmosphere. Behind the bar is a whole wall of wine cabinets, full of beautiful things in eyes.

The band had already started singing, and the two of them chose a seat a little further away by the window, where it was relatively quiet and convenient for them to talk.

They ordered pizza, french fries, grilled chicken salad, and their signature beef taco.Neither of them ordered cocktails, but ordered the special German wheat beer in the store. This kind of beer has a refreshing taste, with obvious aromas of banana and malt in the mouth, and a mild taste.

"I used to come here with Dongzi and the others." Lu Chuanhuan said, "At that time the resident singer was a very pretty girl, and Dongzi always came to see her, but he just didn't have the guts to ask for a WeChat account."

Xia Yang subconsciously looked in the direction of the stage. Now the lead singer is an old man with a cropped cut, which is very aggressive.

"Is it finally here?" Xia Yang asked.

Lu Chuanhuan shook his head: "No, that singer suddenly stopped coming one day, and Dongzi has been sad for a long time."

"The next time something like this happens again, I'll ask for it for him." Xia Yang seemed to be feeling sorry for Dongzi.

"I also said at that time that I would ask for it for him. He insisted that I was too handsome. People would only think of me when they saw him, and they would not be interested in him." Lu Chuanhuan smiled, "You are also good-looking , people might like yours.”

Xia Yang clinked glasses with him, and said frankly: "I really fell in love with the lead singer."

Lu Chuanhuan's wine glass was all brought to his lips. After hearing this, he put it back on the table and asked him, "Did you study abroad?"

Xia Yang nodded: "The resident singer of a bar I often go to is of mixed Chinese and American race. I lost a game and was fined to ask for his Facebook. That's how I met."

"How many times have you been in love?" Lu Chuanhuan seemed careless, but in fact he cared very much.

Xia Yang held his face, he had a flattering appearance, which always made people think that he was the kind of good boy from other people's family that his parents said.

"Brother Lu, don't think too much." Xia Yang laughed, "When I first arrived in New York, because of my sexuality, I was quite confused at that time, and then I opened up again, and the conversations didn't last long. I met him later. The Leonard who arrived was the lead singer, he was the one we talked about for the longest time, maybe more than a year.”

"Why did you break up?" Lu Chuanhuan mixed the salad and pointed the end of the fork towards Xia Yang.

"Because he proposed to me." Xia Yang took a sip of his wine and sighed, "Does that sound weird?"

Lu Chuanhuan looked at him and shook his head: "It's nothing."

"I found that you are very open-minded." Xia Yang smiled, his eyes were so bright against the dim light.

"Thank you for the compliment." Lu Chuanhuan clinked glasses with him.

"When I was a fortune teller, that charlatan said I was a fickle lover, so I was doomed to wander." Xia Yang drank alcohol on his face, and the corners of his eyes were slightly red, which made him look a little lonely.

"I was very scared when he proposed to me. I told him that I couldn't accept the marriage. He said he could wait. Leonard is a good person, a very nice and passionate person, but I broke up with him in the end." Xia Yang said bitterly Laughed a bit.

"He said that although his mother is Chinese, he can understand Chinese people's implicitness and lack of frankness, but he can't understand why I am afraid of feelings. He said that for him, feelings are very simple things, like to be together If you don’t have feelings, you can separate. The person you can’t live without is love, and you need to find that love in marriage.”

"I envy him very much." Xia Yang sighed and said with emotion, "People are so strange."

Lu Chuanhuan looked at him quietly. He took a sip of wine, dipped French fries in ketchup, and said plainly: "I don't know who my mother is. She disappeared after giving birth to me."

"She and Lao Lu met in Shenzhen. They were very young at that time, too young to be responsible for a child. When I was young, I asked him why I didn't have a mother? Lao Lu also lied to me that my mother would one day I'll be back." Lu Chuanhuan smiled, seemingly not caring about it anymore.

"Later, I grew up a bit and understood some things. On the contrary, I was cooperating with him in the performance. At that time, I would secretly look through Lao Lu's photo album, and then guess, is there any woman in it, that is my mother?"

Xia Yang didn't know what to say for a while.

"So I am also very clear that this matter has a great impact on me. I have always felt very sorry for Lin Yi. Our marriage was too impulsive. I always think that if there is no Tongtong, Lin Yi may not be the same in the end. Choose me." Lu Chuanhuan put his hand on the wine glass, his fingers were slender, with well-defined joints, his nails were neatly trimmed, and he wore a very ordinary watch on his wrist, which looked pleasing to the eye.

"Actually, I am a very ordinary person with many shortcomings. I don't really think about others." Lu Chuanhuan said frankly, "Lin Yi and I have quarreled many times, and in the end we found it boring. Love shouldn't It's like this, in fact Lin Yi is much more sensible than me, now that I think about it, divorce is inevitable, I just wronged Tongtong."

"Leonard told me that what happened in childhood and adolescence will determine almost everything later." Xia Yang looked at him, "Look, you are because of your mother's absence and her irresponsibility, so you are very Responsibility, even sometimes too much. I was afraid of marriage because my parents divorced, so Leonard proposed to me, and I would run away in fear."

Lu Chuanhuan smiled slowly, he was so handsome, even the fine lines around his eyes were the icing on the cake.

"Then what should I do?" Lu Chuanhuan looked a little helpless, his smile looked bitter, and he repeated, "What should I do?"

Xia Yang raised his wine glass smartly, and said in a declarative tone artificially: "Then let it pass!"

Lu Chuanhuan was amused by him, and then raised his glass to clink with him.

The crisp sound of glass kissing together was mixed into the sound of the music.

"My father was dragged down by me. My mother left without saying goodbye after giving birth to me. My father left Shenzhen and returned to Chongqing to take care of me." Lu Chuanhuan said, "He should have tried to find her, but he never found her. News, Lao Lu didn't talk to me about this until after I got married."

"Your father is a very admirable person." Xia Yang said.

"He could have had a completely different life, so I didn't read that photo album when I was older, I don't care who my mother is anymore, she may not be ready to be a mother, but she is really too selfish Already." Lu Chuanhuan smiled, he was already 32 years old, his childhood regrets and grievances were so faint that he couldn't see it, he knew very well that there was no need to be persistent about many things.

On the road of life, loss is the norm. At that time, he thought that Lin Yi would always be like that at the beginning, only knowing to follow behind him, but later Lin Yi also told him to forget it, and she couldn't bear to live with him anymore.

After such a long time, he remembered that he and Lin Yi went to see Lu Ming after receiving their certificates. After dinner, he took Lin Yi to the gate of the community, helped her get a taxi, and returned after Lin Yi got in the car.

Ning Qian was going to pick up Kaikai from the cram school, so she also went out.When Lu Chuanhuan returned, only Lu Ming was waiting for him.

Lu Ming prepared some wine and said to him, "Let's drink some more."

Lu Ming has a good capacity for alcohol. He used to be a walking singer in Shenzhen, and he had to drink with the guests in nightclubs. This is how he got out of it.

Later, when I returned to Chongqing, drinking became a pastime.

But once Lu Ming forgot to pick up Lu Chuanhuan from school because of drinking, Lu Chuanhuan waited for a long time but didn't wait for Lu Ming, so he walked back home sullenly, when he saw Lu Ming at home, he didn't say a word, just locked himself in the room Secretly cried.

Lu Chuanhuan was only in the third grade of elementary school that year.

After this incident, Lu Ming never drank again until that night.

"Old Lu, he looks like a fool, but he is actually very reliable." Lu Chuanhuan sighed.

"You look like him." Xia Yang leaned back in the chair, tilting his head back a little.

"This is a compliment to me." Lu Chuanhuan relaxed. He recalled that day and said belatedly, "He may have known from the beginning that I would take a detour."

Lu Ming was a little silent that day, and after drinking two cups, he just said, "Lin Yi is pretty good."

In fact, Lu Chuanhuan was under a lot of pressure during that time, and Lin Yi's parents were not willing to accept him. He changed his busy job because he wanted to earn more money.

It was the first time that Lu Ming mentioned Lu Chuanhuan's mother. That day, Lu Ming was immersed in memories and looked a little sad.

"The name she told me probably wasn't her real name. After I returned to Chongqing, my friends in Shenzhen were still helping me find her, but there was no news of her in the end. She probably left Shenzhen completely." Lu Ming said, " In fact, we were not able to bring up a child at all at that time, maybe because we were dazzled by love, we finally decided to give birth."

"I say this today not to disapprove of your marriage, but son, life is a winding journey, we can't know if we have made the right turn, but if we make the wrong turn, I hope you will not be in a dead end Feel sorry for yourself." Lu Ming patted him on the shoulder three times in total, with long intervals, like a silent exhortation.

"Life is something you have to experience yourself." Lu Ming told Lu Chuanhuan.

"Lao Lu's story told me that love can't bring a happy ending, so what about responsibility? It doesn't seem to be possible either. I understand too late." Lu Chuanhuan said slowly.

"Brother Lu, are you regretting starting?" Xia Yang frowned.

Lu Chuanhuan sighed: "I feel very uncomfortable, not because of the divorce, but because I think I did something wrong in the first place."

Xia Yang said while eating French fries: "I don't think so. Although Leonard and I separated in the end, I am very happy that I can spend that time with him."

"Actually, you are more transparent than me." Lu Chuanhuan smiled and shook his head.

"I can't do what you do, otherwise I wouldn't run away in fear just because Leonard proposed to me." Xia Yang smiled at him, "Anyway, that's the same sentence, let the past go."

At this moment, the rhythm of the music slowed down, and the band had just finished singing a softer love song.

It was getting late, and the seats in the restaurant were full. A girl at the next table got up and went to the side of the stage to ask for the lead singer's WeChat account.

"Do you love him very much?" Lu Chuanhuan asked.

Xia Yang was taken aback. In his impression, Lu Chuanhuan was a person with a strong sense of proportion and boundaries, so before, he never asked about Xia Yang's personal affairs, and occasionally mentioned some things when he met with Luo Luo and the others. Whatever happened, Lu Chuanhuan would help him get over it.When they met for the second time to look at the house, Lu Chuanhuan naturally avoided things he didn't want to talk about.

Xia Yang drank the rest of the beer in the glass, blinked his eyes, and showed a forced smile: "Well, I used to like him very much."

Lu Chuanhuan himself didn't understand why he asked Xia Yang such a question, but the moment he heard the answer, his heart suddenly ached.

Because of that girl, the band's performance was interrupted for a while. The lead singer looked fierce, but he was surprisingly gentle. There was a small dimple on the corner of his mouth when he smiled. People won't be happy."

The bass player was very lively and yelled, "I'm going to tell my sister-in-law!"

The girl is also very chic, she said with a smile: "Then can you give me a song, after all, I'm broken in love right now."

The lead singer said, "Okay."

""Golden Heart of a 17-Year-Old Girl" is for everyone."

Lu Chuanhuan couldn't help but wonder, was it the same when Xia Yang asked for Leonard's WeChat that year?

The good-looking man with a sweet smile raised his face, raised his phone generously and asked, "Can I have your Facebook?"

Lu Chuanhuan thought, if he were Leonard, he would not be able to refuse Xia Yang.

At this moment, for no reason, a secret jealousy rose in Lu Chuanhuan's heart.

But this emotion was so weird, Lu Chuanhuan drank half a glass of beer in suspense, and suppressed it forcefully.

The lead singer's voice trickled out and sounded thick and heavy to the human ear.

"Let's dance now in this tender night when love comes don't let it go

The gentle entanglement with you has never come tomorrow, but I only miss you ten thousand times tonight. "

Lu Chuanhuan thought that this night was suitable for burial. In fact, he had never confided about his mother to others, and maybe Xia Yang had never expressed his feelings for his former lover to a third person.

Usually exchanging secrets will bring the distance between two people closer, but at this moment, the intimacy that Lu Chuanhuan felt seemed to be going a bit off course.

He didn't realize it himself, and it was difficult to detect it, but Xia Yang was not just his friend's younger brother, a temporary tenant, nor a new friend to him.

Lu Chuanhuan didn't think too deeply, and didn't dare too much. After this night, everything should be the same.