don't like me

A few days after the class reunion, Ren Jiawan approached her.

Where did she get my address? I can figure it out with my feet. There will be no one else except Han Yizhou.

When she contacted me, I was busy and had to put down what I was doing and go downstairs. Ren Jiawan was standing downstairs in our company in a windbreaker. Thanks to my fiancé, I can remember her right now.

Ren Jiawan waved to me, and the endless stream of vehicles behind her quickly flashed in front of her eyes, and the picture that was too late to freeze was fleeting, Ren Jiawan stood in front of such a scene, it seemed so real.

"I'm sorry to bother you at this time." Ren Jiawan blushed as soon as she spoke, she was as old as me, so she couldn't be a girl of seventeen or eighteen, but the embarrassment on her face didn't feel awkward at all.

I really have no impression of her, and even doubt that I have lived in high school?I have been classmates for several years, and none of the pictures I recall contain this girl.

"I don't have anything to do." This place is not a place for conversation, I said: "There is a teahouse over there, go in and talk."

Ren Jiawan agreed and followed me.

This teahouse is often visited by some office workers. Ordinary drink shops are too noisy, there are many people, and they are of different ages. They all gather together. Compared with such a place, a teahouse is more suitable for conversation.

When I came, there were already many people in suits and leather shoes sitting inside, working hard, not knowing what they were busy with.

I sat down with Ren Jiawan, took off my suit jacket, and put it on the back of the sofa behind me.The staff in the store set up tea sets for us, made tea, turned on the switch, and brewed a cup of fragrance.

"Slow use." The staff said.

"Thank you." I thank you.

After the staff left, Ren Jiawan said, "Well... I'm here today, it's..."

"I know," I interrupted her. I guessed it at first, and Han Yizhou also revealed a little bit to me, asking me to take care of him. It seemed that he was very generous. I didn't involve this girl in the first place, so I said softly, "Don't mention the matter at the class reunion, I don't mind."

Hearing what I said, Ren Jiawan felt even more embarrassed. She weighed it up and said guiltily: "He saw it, I treat you..."

She forgot, I probably didn't know about it, but she blew herself up, and it seemed a little late to take back the words, so she broke the jar, "Chairman... I have secretly liked you before, I'm sorry."

She put her head down, and I was almost mesmerized by her embarrassment and panic.

For so many years, I have come into contact with so many people. At my age, what I have come into contact with, when a person who is about 30 years old expresses his love, it is not as good as the recklessness of a teenager, who often uses dirty words and yellow accents. For those of us next to us, a glass of wine in a nightclub counts as a promise of love, Ren Jiawan's way of expressing her emotions is refreshing.

I was obsessed for a while, completely intoxicated. In the years when I was studying, no, or I have never accepted such a peaceful expression of emotion from birth to today. Thank you Ren Jiawan for letting me know that there is a kind of liking. It can be so slow.

Ren Jiawan said: "Chairman, I know you won't accept my feelings, you are too dazzling, I am not worthy of you, so I haven't said it all the time... But that day, he saw it, so I put away the feelings I had for you Tell him, he will target you like that, he is usually very good, he never treated my classmates and friends like that, he... just think he drank too much that day. "

Fiance?against?Didn't I fight back too?The matter that has been evened out, it turns out that the girl hasn't passed it yet.

I opened my mouth and said, "Don't take it to heart, he embarrassed me, and I didn't make him look good. It was a fair fight, and it's over, so it's useless to say more."

"I don't want you to be affected by his words, you are a very good person, don't because..."

"To be honest, if your fiancé's words can affect me, you might not be able to sit here today," I said, "I appreciate that you can do this. I have almost forgotten the details, and your fiancé is really impressive, but I am really too busy with work to feel the impact he brings."

I face different people and deal with different things every day. If my fiancé wants to share my energy, I will probably have to be sent to a brain hospital for emergency treatment.

This is where it is unfair. Some people are obsessed with it, while others forget about it. There are differences in thoughts, feelings, and consciences.

My vitality does not allow me to hold grudges about miscellaneous things, and I have already experienced the catastrophe and vicissitudes of life. Such things are not ranked, and they are not as painful as mosquito bites.

"Of course it's better if you don't mind," Ren Jiawan put her hands on the table, "Thank you very much for telling me the truth, I really need to know if you are okay."

I laughed, and being worried by her, I played with a piece of tea scattered on the table, squeezed it in my hand and said, "If there is a problem, if it doesn't last until today, it will have to be fought that day."

Ren Jiawan looked up at me, probably amused by my words, and finally relaxed a lot.

"Engaged?" I asked proactively, she was wearing a ring on her hand, and I also heard from others.

Ren Jiawan said, "Yes, two months ago."

I gossiped: "How long have you been together?"

I especially like to inquire about the time other people spend together, so as to judge the stability of their relationship?This may be the reason.

Ren Jiawan never concealed it from me: "It's been two or three years, and the family is pressing hard."

"It's justifiable, you are not young, girls can't afford to wait," I said, "If you delay, the elderly mother will be very dangerous, and the family is also thinking about you."

Ren Jiawan said: "I know, but I always feel that... something is missing."

I acted as a counselor and said to her, "Are you afraid of marriage?"

Ren Jiawan shook her head.

"Are you afraid of birth?"

She didn't know why I asked these questions, but she chose to answer me honestly, "A little bit."

"By the way," I said, "as long as you have a little fear of everything after marriage, you will basically be a little bit repelled."

"Is that right?"

"I don't know, but my friend is like this, he is more serious than you, he is afraid of marriage." I betrayed Gu Ming just like that.

Ren Jiawan said: "Maybe... But I don't think it's because of this."

"That's up to the two of you. Tell him what you're afraid of. Don't bury it in your heart. The seeds will germinate. If there is a problem, you have to solve it." I am like an elder.

Ren Jiawan is like my child, nodding to me, trusting blindly.

At this time, Xu Jingyuan called me. I glanced at the girl in front of me, ignored the call, picked up the clothes on one side, and stood up, "A colleague called, the reception is not good, I will go Pay the bill, you...you can do whatever you want."

I don't want to stay with her, one is because she once had feelings for me, and the other is that she is about to become a wife now, neither of which is a reason to be alone.

Not leaving in a huff is my last bit of courtesy to my old classmates.

Ren Jiawan sat where she was. After I went to buy the bill, she came out right after me. Just as I was about to open the door to leave, the girl called me. He called my name, Wen Zhixing.

When I turned around, she was standing in front of me. She raised her hands, and I didn't know where to put them. I waited for her to respond slowly, and she didn't speak for a long time.

"I, I think... can I give you a hug?" Ren Jiawan lowered her head and said, "I'm sorry, I know it's impolite and crazy, but I may not have a chance to see you in the future, so..."

I stretched out my hands.

She was surprised and looked up at me in astonishment.

What kindness do I have?I'm just alone and casual, I don't even mind physical contact, I don't care who I have sex with, it's just a hug, anyone who wants to have it can fight for it, I don't care, unless they mind.

Ren Jiawan hugged my waist in fear, I couldn't understand her emotion, her shoulders were trembling, I seemed to be hugging a puppy, a poor little homeless thing, forgive me for such associations, I like dogs very much, and I like the feeling of them snuggling with me even more. They are much simpler than people.

"Wen Zhixing, I think you have a better life than anyone else, you must be very good, your life, your career, everything related to you... I liked you very much when I was in high school, I really miss you Tell you."

Do you ask me if I regret it?I also began to doubt.

I wonder if my choice at the beginning was to walk the life that a person must go through, fall in love, get married, have children, and a girl, and stabilize this life, would it be better?At least a little richer than now?

Not long after the idea lasted, I was defeated by reality. I was too realistic, and I couldn't empathize with others. The fleeting emotions couldn't withstand the blow of reality.

a girl?So what if it's a man?The problem is myself, the things that should be experienced are not different because of gender.

"I see." I rubbed her head, my way of pitying her.

Even a hug, an old friend, a sincere and passionate confession, can't change my vulgarity.

The moment I turned around and left, my inner peace was restored, and the waves receded, as if I just drank a cup of tea and nothing happened.

I knew that I couldn't remember people who were of no interest to me.

On the way back to the company, I ran into Wang Xu.

He saw all this very unfriendly, and said he would keep it secret for me. I asked him how much he had seen, and when I learned that it was all, I stopped and turned to face him. He was very proud.

"Who are you keeping secret?"

Wang Xu's complacency dropped a lot, "For you."

"Who in the company should you keep secret for me?"

"There is no one in the company, but outside the company, brother, how long have you been with your girlfriend?"

Ah, I forgot, I forgot that I still have a girlfriend, thank you Wang Xu for reminding me, I always can’t remember that I have a girlfriend.

How did Wang Xu know?Think about it carefully, Xu Jingyuan's mouth.

Sure enough, good things don't go out, and bad things spread thousands of miles. It seems that I will keep my mouth shut next time, especially about my girlfriend, otherwise, it will cause unnecessary trouble to others.

I didn't explain much and let him go.

After returning to the company, before I had time to sit down, a phone call from Gu Ming came in. I didn't expect that this calm afternoon would be broken by a phone call.

After receiving the phone message, I couldn't hear anyone calling me around, so I ran to the hospital along the stairs I just sat on.

I did one thing wrong, I shouldn't be lucky enough to think that my mother and Wen Zhixu can coexist in an environment without me.

In the ward of the hospital, there was a roar piercing the sky that never stopped, the cry for help and fear from the depths of the heart plunged the whole hospital into horror and gloom, Wen Zhixu stood there screaming, Gu Ming was helpless, The person on the bed was crying, and the ward full of nurses and doctors never left me an open space.

"Get out! Get out!" I pushed, yelled, threatened, and intimidated. I can deal with others calmly, and I am immune to my family. I also hope that one day, I don't have to do this in front of them.

My mother cried into tears on the bed. She was frightened by her daughter's pathological screams. I didn't pay attention to her emotions. What I went to was the girl who stood helpless in the corner and couldn't retreat. Every time I I was afraid that I would not be able to catch her once, so I used a lot of strength.

She was stuffed in my arms, and she stopped shouting, and the sound of terrified whimpers spread, extending to the rainy night ten years ago.

She was the same, standing there screaming, her mother was lying on the ground, it was impossible to know whether the outstretched hand was going to kill her or save her, her brother and father were wrestling together, the messy environment, stabbing The sharp knife of flesh and blood satirizes the blood relationship that lasted all night.

"Wen Zhixu, your brother needs you."

If I didn't need her, she would be gone long ago.

If she didn't need me, I would have died long ago.

No one really loves us, from birth.

We are not the light of hope and salvation for each other, we are each other's drag, dragging each other to continue to live obsessively in purgatory.