don't like me

Countdown to new year.

The family was full of joy, the vendors on the street broke their throats, how many times the urban management complained, they are not allowed to set up stalls here, but the vendors who have no money to rent a shop can only fight wits with the urban management, begging for mercy.

Our New Year's goods are bought from small vendors who set up stalls, and I don't know how much cheaper than those in supermarkets.

A carload of people started a heated discussion after buying the New Year’s goods. Regarding the matter of buying dumplings, Yang’s mother disagreed. The old man wanted to do it himself, saying that the dumplings made in that way would have a New Year’s taste. Yang Xiao complained about the New Year’s taste. After one bite, I told him to roll away.

He stopped talking and drove his car honestly.

After returning home, Wen Zhixu took the rabbit stickers and pasted them on the door. There were yellow diamonds on the corners of the rabbits. They were three-dimensional. When they were pasted, the ears would bounce when the door was opened and closed. It was very cute.

Wen Zhixu shook the door over and over again, she is a rabbit, and this year is considered her birth year.

"Stop playing, glue this on." I called Wen Zhixu over, and Yang's mother immediately said that she would go and make dumplings. Fu word to her.

"Where is it stuck?" Wen Zhixu asked.

"On the kitchen door," I said.

"That's already there." Wen Zhixu said, "I posted it just now."

"That's whatever you want." I waved my hand and let her arrange. Wen Zhixu left with his things.

I'm going to make dumplings. Wen Zhixu is actually better at making dumplings, but I don't want to post things, so I let her do it and change jobs with her.

Yang Xiao didn't know where he was. We were making dumplings, but he disappeared. After Wen Zhixu finished posting, I asked her to see what Yang Xiao was doing. Just as I was talking, he came down from one side of the building.

I changed my clothes.

"Are you going out?" I didn't stop what I was doing.

Mother Yang also looked over with me, Father Yang was writing a couplet, and because of Yang Xiao's appearance, he cast his gaze over.

"Do you look like it?" Yang Xiao spread his hands and showed us his home clothes.

I turned around and continued to make dumplings.

Yang Xiao sat down next to me, picked up the dumpling wrappers, and joined our camp.

"Can you make dumplings?" Yang Xiao expressed surprise.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Your mother taught it?"

"Self-taught." I learned a lot of things by myself, and it's not a very difficult thing, so I'm familiar with it after reading it twice.

"Come on, use this." Yang's mother handed Yang Xiao a spoon, exactly one spoon, the minced meat was just right, easier to use than Yang Xiao's chopsticks.

Yang Xiao took it, his mother looked at him and smiled.

I think I'm going to see my mother too, the grave grass should come out, I haven't been there for a while.

I mentioned this to Yang Xiao, and he said yes, he would go with me.

We put down the dumplings, and the family had a New Year's Eve dinner together. This was the first time in so many years that I was accompanied by so many people on New Year's Eve.

Because the fireworks were not allowed, after the meal, Yang Xiao and Wen Zhixu were playing with some gadgets, which were also fireworks, but relatively small and not pyrotechnic. The two of them studied childishly in the courtyard.

Wen Zhixu ran in and out, not knowing what she was doing, I told her to slow down, the lights in the yard were not that bright.

Mother Yang leaned over, stood aside and said to me, "Xuxu likes to play."

I looked at the girl and said, "She didn't stay at home when she was a child."

"It's good for girls to be more lively." Mother Yang said, "How about the dumplings?"

"It's so flavorful." I said, "It's better than mine."

Yang's mother was happy, and looked at her son with relief, "Our family used to be very poor, and his father and I were both afraid, so he was thrown to my mother right after weaning, and my father and I were running around outside like this. For a few years, because he was too old, he didn't talk to us when we met. He was not good at school, and the teacher called us, and we couldn't go back. We were too busy with work..."

I didn't speak, I can understand all kinds of things in the world, but I also understand that there are reasons for Yang Xiao and their strangeness.

In a family that doesn't feel love, it's hard to warm the heart. Yang Xiao will need a longer time to ease the rigid relationship that has been separated from his parents for these years.

"Actually, he is very smart, do you know? When he was young, his grandma called us and said what awards he had won. The old man couldn't tell. His father and I were happy to hear that, and felt that it was worthwhile even if we were tired. Yang's mother paused, "It has nothing to do with us that he has achieved what he is now. He didn’t tell us about the college he went to, and he didn’t tell us about it, nor did his father or I know about it.”

My voice is heavy: "I know."

Mother Yang looked at me, waiting for me to give her an answer.

"He's very smart," I said. "When I first met him, the energy in his eyes meant that he didn't want to be inferior to others. He just lacked one person to give him faith and support."

"Yes, my father and I should have given it to him, but we...we have neglected our duties." Yang's mother sighed, with remorse and regret in her voice.

"Brother." Wen Zhixu ran over and interrupted our chat. She held a linear firework in her hand and handed it to me, "Here."

"I don't play." I brutally refused.

Wen Zhixu snorted, becoming more coquettish, I think it was Yang Xiao's favorite.Without my consent, she gave the fireworks to Mother Yang who was next to me. She was no longer as comfortable as giving it to me, so she handed it out cautiously and tentatively. Mother Yang is a nice person and easier to talk to than me, so I went with her.

The lighter was in Yang Xiao's hands, he was quite surprised that his mother joined in, looked back at me, saw that I was still standing there, he didn't say anything, lit the fire for his mother and my sister, and told them to be careful.

Then he came up to me.

"Don't try?" Yang Xiao put the lighter on.

"Childish." I said contemptuously.

Yang Xiao never gave me face, "How many things have you never seen before, childish? Do you know how to order that flower just now?"

I said without difficulty: "Why don't we just burn one head?"

"Go ahead, I'll get you an ambulance." He urged me.

I looked at him and smiled.

The smell of fireworks in the yard is very good, and there are a few Kongming lanterns floating in the night sky. I don’t know which family they flew out from. They all fly in one direction.

"Tell me about your college days." I had a sudden whim and wanted to hear a story. Today's night is gentle, and all the unhappy things shouldn't happen today.

"I really want to hear it? I have nothing to say." Yang Xiao said.

"I don't think, didn't you have a relationship with your roommate?" I still haven't forgotten.

He smiled at me and lost to me. He could only tell me the "nothing to say" college story truthfully.

I’m not the only one who thinks Yang Xiao is strong. He was pursued by many people when he was in college. Let’s not mention the girls, but his roommate has to mention it. The roommate and him are very good. I didn’t explain it clearly at first, of course. Well, the two of them got along with other classmates in the same way, and they didn't break up until the matter was discovered.

I heard that person has moved out.

"How did you find out?" I think he is hiding something from me, so simple?Just two sentences?Judging by the enthusiasm of his college classmates, it is right to specify something that is not serious.

"That's how I discovered it." Yang Xiao said, "He said it himself."

"Confess to you?"

"Ah."

I squinted my eyes and couldn't believe it: "It's that simple?"

Yang Xiao turned to look at me, my eyes were sharp, but I didn't believe this simple rhetoric, Yang Xiao said: "Do you have to say it?"

"Of course." Sure enough, I guessed it right, and I said vigorously, "What's so shameful? I'm not underage, let's hear it."

I like to listen to indecent content, and the indecent things that happened to my boyfriend can arouse my curiosity even more.

But Yang Xiao was quite hesitant, thinking about whether to say it or not. I showed a look of interest. He was defeated by my gaze. .”

The air froze.

In the courtyard, only the voices of Wen Zhixu and Yang's mother were noisy, oh, and Yang's father who came out was also saying something.

I didn't hear it, Yang Xiao's words echoed in my ears.

I couldn't help it, I held my chin and couldn't help laughing.

Yang Xiao shrugged, "You can make fun of it as you like."

I waved my hand and said, "No, no, I was just thinking, why? Why did you move out? It would be better if you found out about me, anyway, I always care about your body."

Yang Xiao narrowed his eyes, and his voice sank, "Say it again."

When I saw it, he was just so big-hearted. I won’t hurt his little heart when it’s the New Year’s Eve. I softened and said, “Let’s get a little bit more inside.”

Yang Xiao snorted arrogantly.

Don't tell me, it was the first time I heard him humming, it was fun, I couldn't bear it, I always wanted to tease him, I added: "I saw that you are ambitious and will make a fortune in the future, it seems that I made the right choice .”

The little police dog has a bad complexion, and my words are even worse, always hovering on the verge of angering him.

"Yang Xiao," I stopped joking and suddenly said seriously, "Do you still remember that President Gao?"

Yang Xiao turned around and said, "Why mention him?"

I said, "You have something to hide from me, and so do I."

Yang Xiao turned around and looked at me.

"Let's exchange." I looked at him, and before he agreed, I took the initiative to say: "The call you answered was made by me."

How could Yang Xiao come to our door so abruptly?Where did this coincidence come from?Before I went in to see Mr. Gao, I had already contacted the person at the door to make a phone call.

what?Whistleblower, let my boyfriend catch me. If others find out, they must think I am sick, right?

And dear Mr. Gao, he may not have figured out how my boyfriend got here. Will his assistant betray him?Obviously not that possible.

Like Mr. Gao, Yang Xiao was equally puzzled by my behavior: "What are you planning?"

"Nothing," I looked at the black shadow on the ground, without pretending to be profound, and said frankly: "Then, I just want to make you ugly."

Let him realize what kind of guy I am, let him give up, let him stay away from me, let him know what it costs to be with someone like me, and let him lose face.

But looking at it now, I find that it is useless for me to do anything. He may be angry, irritated, and lose his temper, but he will not hate me, stay away from me, and love me.

My experiment failed, no matter what I did, the result was the same, he still wanted me, he still wanted me.

"I don't know what you did to that person, but I can probably guess that it's something you can't talk about?"

Yang Xiao didn't speak, but there was more hostility in his eyes, which melted into the black night.

"I'm not surprised, but this is the last time." I warned him, and also reminded him: "This is the last time, you hurt others because of me."

Yang Xiao didn't look at me, and complained: "You provoked me."

I said, "Yes, so this is also my last time."

I calmed down, looked at the harmonious scene in the courtyard, and said: "We have been entangled for ten years, don't waste each other's time, if you want to love me, the first thing you have to do is to trust me unconditionally. From my music teacher, Zhao Yin, to Mr. Gao, Sluonan...and then to Gu Ming, you can't doubt what I have with others, because from now until the end, I have never loved anyone other than you."

I clenched my hands, feeling very awkward, I don't want to say these nasty words at all, but in the warm New Year's Eve, what is waiting for me is the first day of next year, we should have a good agreement, a normal new year.

"Can you do it?" I made a request to him. Likes can be questioned or denied, but love can't.

Feelings mixed with suspicion will explode once every three days, it’s too tiring, I’m already 30 years old, I don’t have the energy to talk to a 28-year-old naive kid, I need an adult, I need a mature lover, I want him to be 28 years old, and I want him to firmly believe that I only love him.

I am extremely sure of his love, and he must be as sure of my feelings for him as I am.

We each had a ten-year window, and we were never waiting for the other right person.

Yang Xiao didn't readily agree to me, he said, "I'll try." He said try, to try to see if I have a good conversation with others, and when I have a little intimacy, I can settle down and believe that I have nothing to do with others.

This is a difficult test for him. People who feel that they are not good enough for each other will always have the emotion of fear, and only when they see the other party getting closer to others, they will doubt the other party's love.

What he doubts is actually not me, but himself. He is not confident enough in himself. He does not believe that Yao Xing will bend down to love him.

But he didn't know how much of it was my own willingness when he pulled me off the altar.

"I want to be with you, and I am willing to stand shoulder to shoulder with you. Do you know that if there is no you on the altar, it would be meaningless for God to stand there?"

"Perhaps I should call you - Fallen Angel?"

"Call it what you want, stupid human."

Yang Xiao held my wrist and led me back to the room.

He didn't take me back to the room, but to the music room where the piano was placed. He closed the door, and I walked to the piano bench consciously, and tapped it lightly with my fingers, and the piano made a soft sound.

I always said, "What do you want to hear?"

Yang Xiao stood by the side of the piano, thought for a while and said, "During the school celebration, that one."

"That one," I held my chin in embarrassment, "I may not be able to play it after so many years."

Yang Xiao said: "You can."

Seeing how he trusts me, I am embarrassed to pretend to be modest, well, I should be a little crazy, so crazy that I think of myself as Clayderman.Didn't I always like to do that?I have always been evaluated as arrogant and arrogant, and I also think that I can win all the songs and understand the author's intention.

It is difficult to forget what I have learned, because I have instilled the enthusiasm of my entire youth in this piece of music.

There is a sad melody in the piano room. Some people say that this piece is cheerful. When I first listened to it, I didn’t hear any cheerful notes. This piece is sad, and the story behind it is not beautiful at all. , what it expresses is the unrequited love of one person for another.

There are different versions of the story, no matter which one, it ends in tragedy. Did Henry VIII meet his beloved folk girl?Is this piece for the dead wife?Or was it just a whim?According to legend, there are so many versions, none of which have a good ending, so how can you say it cheerfully?

When I used to play this piece, my mentality was, can I still have a warm home with people I love and love me, can my sister have a good mother?Can she join a happy family in her next life?Can my future lover accept me with a bad background?Can he understand me?And in my dark family, the two messengers of hell, can they be normal ordinary people in the next life.

Now that I play this piece, I am sure that I have a home, although it is not at the level of warmth, but everyone is working hard to move towards a peaceful and harmonious life; I have a family that loves me and that I love Boy, he surrendered to me from the age of 17, and I chose him from the age of 19; my sister does not need the next life, she said that her life is worth it, she would rather exchange two angels from hell for her current brother; and ...My lover has never disliked my muddy family. He is still willing to stretch out his arms and hug me tightly. It is not that I have to worry about whether he will mind, but because he is afraid that I will dislike him. .

Finally, let's talk about the two messengers of hell.

My father didn't regain consciousness at the last second of his death, so if he could wake up in time, would he also say sorry to me like my mother?

By the way, he already said it, and my mother apologized to me on his behalf.

So...Wen Zhixing, what regrets do you have?

I stopped my hands and the music stopped abruptly.

Looking up, the 19-year-old, who inadvertently glanced across the line of sight, stayed only 0.1 second, and let me remember a face, lying on the piano, staring at me intently.

Did I smile at him back then?I forgot.

So now, don't be stingy with this thankful smile, thank him for his firm choice, and when I am 30 years old, take me back to our home that he conceived when he was 17 years old.

"What are you looking at?" My voice was soft, and I couldn't tell if it was the face that hit my eyes.

Yang Xiao's eyes were full of his warm and sincere emotion, he didn't look away, and responded to me gently, "Look at the distant stars in the sky."

He clenched his hands, his eyes were bright, and his voice trembled slightly: "I picked the star in the sky." I never thought that I would sit here and play just for him.I, regarded as an untouchable distant star, was looking back at him with bright and clear eyes, not for 0.1 second, but for a long time.

I reached out and led him over to the side of the piano, stood up and told him to sit down.

Immediately, I sat on his lap, took his hand, and let him wrap around my waist.Yang Xiao's lips could rub against my neck.

"Hold on to this star, it is not as bright as before, but its faint light will belong to you completely, forever, faithfully, and firmly only to you."

The hand on my waist tightened a little, Yang Xiao lowered his head, and I led his other hand to the keys.

"Will it be?" I asked.

"A little less than you." He said modestly.

"It's okay, I'll take you with me." I exerted a little force on my fingertips, and the music that surrounded the room was not as chic as when I was alone, but it was two people who were bound by each other.

He is no stranger, and quickly found the rhythm and feeling.Silence is respect for music, and concentration is loyalty to emotion.

A sad melody hovered above, without audience and stage, the bluesy lights receded, and the elegance was gone.

I have no scruples, no worries, no sentimentality.

Because at the end of the song, people will not disperse.

And I underestimated him, he didn't need my guidance at all.

The first time I saw him play the piano, I want to say that if he touched the piano back then, perhaps the music teacher would not have regarded me as the only work.

He played so piously, with full concentration, not daring to slack off, as if the keys under his hands were a sacred mission.

I also stopped wandering, and accompanied him into the vortex of music.

How can he be a stranger?How can he forget?

This was when he was 17 years old, when he fell in love with me, he played "Green Sleeves" countless times in his heart.

(Finish)

The author has something to say:

"Love doesn't stop with a few heartbreaks."

Thanks for watching.