no one save me

In the letter was the little girl’s specific information. Before I went to find her, I went to the Public Security Bureau and met Uncle Shen for the last time. The death of a drowned person is not very good-looking, so I didn’t bring it with me. His daughter went, and Uncle Shen also said in the letter that he didn't want his daughter to see his father's final appearance.

I remember when I met Uncle Shen for the first time, it was such a summer, because of some things, I met him for the first time on the road, and he helped me by the way, I thought that what I helped was just like me Thousands of ordinary people, but he is different, at least he is much richer than me.

Later, I followed him slowly and learned a lot until I established myself, and he became my teacher and friend.

As he said, before this, he had reminded me about Jiang Yihang, that I was too stubborn and never listened to persuasion. Fortunately, it's not too late to turn around.

But I don't know what kind of hurdle Uncle Shen encountered and insisted on going this way.

After I walked out of the police station, I didn’t know what to do, so I sat on the bench in front. I knew that Uncle Shen’s family had many relatives. If something happened to him, relatives would definitely come to deal with his funeral, so I just I can't intervene, but since he gave his daughter to me, I have to take care of the child.

After sitting for a while, I calculated that it was time to finish class, so I went to pick up his daughter. The child looked very similar to Uncle Shen, and he could be recognized at a glance. Before I waved to her, she ran over and smiled. Said: "Brother Zuo Qi."

I couldn't help raising my eyebrows and asked, "How do you know me?"

"My dad said that you would come to pick me up today." She didn't seem to know about Uncle Shen's death, and I didn't know how to tell her, so I took her into the car first and asked, "What do you want to eat later? "

"Hmm... KFC, my dad never let me eat it, can you take me to eat this time?" she said.

"Okay." I searched for the nearest KFC store and took her to eat fried chicken. I used to eat too much of this thing, but now I can't eat it anymore.

"Brother Zuo Qi." Looking at the food in front of her, she suddenly asked me, "Isn't Dad coming back?"

"Huh? Why do you ask that?" I didn't understand why she asked.

"I know, I also know that he is dead." The child looked at me, she was dressed neatly, and she couldn't see that she had cried at all, but I just knew she was crying, because this expression was the same as when grandma passed away. My expression was exactly the same.

"I know he's going to go, and I can't keep him if he goes." The child held the chicken leg, gnawed a big bite, and said without biting, "When I was born, my mother died of dystocia." , After so many years, he is very tired and misses his mother very much. I know that since last month, he always said that he saw his mother, so I know he misses his mother too much and is too tired."

"You know..." I paused.

"I know, I know, I won't have parents in the future." She didn't look up, but I saw tears falling on the table in big drops, and the steaming chicken legs probably burned her, child Hastily wiped away tears, buried his head in two mouthfuls and then gave up: "My dad is right, this food is not tasty, so I won't come next time."

I don't know whether this sentence was said to me or to herself. She followed me all the way back to the hotel. I was about to say that I would take her out to buy some things, but she said she was going to wash her hands. But I stayed in the bathroom all afternoon. I sat on the sofa outside and listened to her cry. I opened two bottles of wine and drank a bottle and a half.

It's so helpless, sometimes it makes people feel so grassy.

"Brother." She was lying on the table doing homework, looked at me and said, "When will my dad come home?"

"I don't know." I really don't know, I can't interfere in Uncle Shen's funeral, I can only take care of his daughter according to his will.

The child should be tired from crying, and fell asleep before midnight. I let her lie down on the bed and smoked by myself on the balcony. There are fewer and fewer people around me, and there will be fewer in the future. Who doesn’t know this side After meeting, can we meet again next time?

After a few days, I received an unfamiliar number again, and my intuition told me that it was Jiang Yihang's number. After hanging up, the call came again, but it only rang twice before hanging up.

Then a few messages were sent, I looked at it, and it was nothing more than two things.

The first thing is that he asked for leave from school. It was a long vacation and he wanted to find me.

The second thing is that he saw Lu Qiao in the hospital, and there was another person, Wang Bo.

I don't know what this behavior is. If Lu Qiao really has something to do with Wang Bo, then these two people can only be regarded as the same, anyway, they are playing Lao Tzu like a bastard.

I smoked a cigarette, looked at the photo sent here, and then deleted it.

Before going out, Lu Qiao said he would pick me up in the afternoon. Now it was midnight, and he finally returned to the hotel. As soon as he came in, he saw the child sleeping on the bed, and he was a little taken aback.

"Are you back?" I drank a lot of wine, my stomach felt uncomfortable, and I leaned on the balcony to blow the wind again. I was a little tired at the moment, and I wanted to laugh when I looked at him: "Is the matter over?"

"Well...it's almost done." He subconsciously avoided my eyes.

"Do you have anything to say?" I waved at him, the smell of disinfectant on his body was a bit off-putting, and my stomach, which was already uncomfortable, was even more uncomfortable. I could almost feel that my face should be pale.

"...I..." He stood in front of me, seeming to be hesitating.

"Think it through before you talk." I reminded him once, with a very calm tone. After all this, nothing can make me particularly angry.

"He is sick. Wang Bo is sick. He went abroad...and left me because he was sick." Lu Qiao squatted down and looked at me. He asked me, "What should I do? He is going to die."

"What to do..." I repeated his words, looked at him, how could I know what to do, I am neither a god of death who reaps human lives, nor a Bodhisattva who saves people, I am just an ordinary person, an ordinary person who is too ordinary to be ordinary man, what can i do?

"He actually didn't want to look for me. I happened to meet him, so I sent him to the hospital. Then I found out about his condition and the previous things. It's ironic to say that I found out at this time. What should I do? , He is going to die, and I have started another relationship, I am not sure who is sorry for whom.” Lu Qiao’s voice trembled a little, I don’t know if he was sad or afraid, but it was probably because he was not with me. What does it matter.

"Then let's break up." When I mentioned this sentence, I didn't feel any sadness. I just told him calmly: "If you like him, just continue to take care of him. Let's get together and leave, Lu Qiao."

Upstairs on the sixtieth floor, I was blowing a cool night breeze. I thought it was a painful and sad event, but when it came to an end, it was nothing more than a trivial matter.

It's no big deal to lose a relationship. As I said before, I have nothing left to lose. The people and things around me have been completely lost, and there is nothing left.

"The doctor said, it's only half a year for him." Lu Qiao lowered his voice: "I won't break up, I don't want to break up with you."

"So?" As soon as I didn't want to talk, I wanted to smoke. The doctor asked me to smoke less, but I was even more sad if I didn't smoke. I didn't know where to put my hands and feet. My whole body was very heavy, as if I was about to drown , it is difficult to see the sky.

"Let's not break up. Give me some time and let me finish dealing with Xiaobo's affairs." He stretched out his hand and grabbed me. I saw his expression, and I wanted to laugh. In fact, I laughed too. Swallowing carefully, the coughing lung hurts, and tears are about to be coughed out, but I just feel ridiculous.

"You know, just today." I told him: "I lost, the last person around me, and I will be really alone in the future, Lu Qiao, don't follow me, stay away from me."

"No, I don't agree. I really have no other intentions for Xiaobo, but the previous matter must be resolved. I can't just see him die like this." Lu Qiao lowered his head and said in a trembling voice: "The doctor said that there is only half a year left." , I... I don't know how to do it."

"I'm very grateful that you didn't hide me, but I want to ask you, when did you meet him?" I looked at Lu Qiao and asked slowly, "When did it start?" ? Can you always tell me this?"

He looked at me with a trace of escape and entanglement in his eyes.

I couldn't help closing my eyes, and a great pain gradually became numb, so that I didn't realize where the pain came from.

"Is it time to go to Suzhou?" I asked him.

He paused without speaking.

Not speaking at this time is almost a default.

"When I took you back to your hometown, did he go too?" I asked Lu Qiao.

He fell silent again.

By the time I realized it, my face was wet, it was so fucking stupid, I will take you back to see my grandma, take you back to my most important place, you fucking...you fucking... …

I couldn't speak, my chest felt as if it was going to burst.

"Lu Qiao." I squeezed his chin, forced him to look at me, and told him word by word: "You are so fucking promising, you took him to the place where I least allow him to touch , is it interesting? How much does it mean?"

He looked at me, breathing a little short of breath.

"Get lost." I leaned closer to him and whispered, "Don't force me to slap you."

It's not that I can't accept the matter about Wang Bo, but I can't accept that he took Wang Bo to my hometown. That's my hometown, the place where I grew up, and the place where my grandma wants to see me happy .

I can't believe these things are happening here.

The stomach churned violently, like a sharp knife scratching in it, almost piercing my internal organs into thousands of holes. I could feel the sweet and fishy smell in my throat, and the back of my head throbbed with pain. His hands were shaking too.

I'm really... so sad, I'm just... sad.

I took Lu Qiao with me, just because I didn't want my grandma to worry, and wanted her to see me happy, but I didn't expect that it turned out like this in the end, which was both ridiculous and sad.

"I... I won't go." As soon as he finished speaking, I slapped him on the face. The slap was so hard that blood spilled from the corners of his lips.

"Get out." I was really tired. I didn't know where the watch was broken in the afternoon, and it stopped moving. The time stopped when I went to the police station to see Uncle Shen. The lights outside were obviously far away. But I felt pain in my eyes, and the bones in my chest stretched apart inch by inch, and then broke inch by inch, being crushed away bit by bit invisible. I smelled the bloody smell from the internal organs, and they spread bit by bit.

I thought it was a trip to enhance feelings, but I didn't expect it to be just lost, lost, and lost again...

"It's just between us." I told him: "In the future, don't contact me again, Lu Qiao, forget it."

I don't have the strength anymore, there are too many things to do next, I don't want to be entangled in this issue anymore, anyway, I have already reached this point, how bad can it be?

I pushed his hand away, not even having the desire to say another word.