[Rebirth] One more blizzard and two worlds

deep winter.

Yu Xiao was sitting in a heated hotel room watching the news, with his suitcase leaning against the bed.

It had been a whole day since he left N city, and he felt a little uncomfortable to embark on a journey alone after three years.If I stay in a city for too long, I am afraid that I will become attached to the people and vegetation there.

He originally lived a life of tossing around, and he couldn't stay in the same place for long.Now he has no reason to stay in N City, so he chooses to return to his original life trajectory.

"The Meteorological Observatory of P City issued a yellow blizzard warning signal for the whole city, and the government and relevant departments have made preparations to prevent snow disasters and frost damage according to their duties..."

The heavy snow made the city look extraordinarily silent.Yu Xiao stared at the TV screen for a long time, and felt that his eyes were a little dry.He turned off the TV, intending to continue to catch up on sleep.The heating deepened his drowsiness, causing him to feel drowsy as soon as he touched the pillow.

In a trance, he had a dream, and time ticked away where he couldn't see it.

He was immersed in a dream, and he was jolting his physically and mentally exhausted lover on the unknown train to the north.

At two o'clock in the morning, City P issued a red snowstorm warning signal in the north.The train that Gu Tingyun was riding on was temporarily suspended due to rockslides along the railway line, and he didn't know how long he would have to wait before continuing to run.

He leaned back in his seat, his limbs stiffened by the cold.Without heating equipment, he can only constantly rub his hands.It was pitch black outside the window, and the whole train seemed to be housed in a huge cage covered with black cloth, and there was silence between heaven and earth.

The low temperature in the car made him regain a lot of sanity.He sorted out what had happened in the past few days little by little, as calm as he was, and the subsequent blows brought his emotions to the brink of collapse.

They fell in love with Yu Xiao for more than two years, until Yu Xiao turned into a full-time graphic photographer and traveled frequently because of work requirements, their relationship was very stable.Yu Xiao loves photography almost wholeheartedly, and regards trekking through mountains and rivers as a great pleasure. Coupled with his own work needs, the time he stays in N City for twelve months a year is only three or four months.

People with wind in their blood are doomed to wander, Gu Tingyun felt that he could not catch them.

Yu Xiao has Yu Xiao's considerations, while Gu Tingyun has Gu Tingyun's uneasiness.Both of them are bored and don't speak out, after all, feelings are too difficult to confess.

The conflict was not deliberate, but neither side has been willing to take that step.Just holding back like this, ushered in several months of separation, holding back again, separating again.A small difference slowly develops into a big gap.

A few days before Yu Xiao's business trip, both of them were caught in a cold war.On the second day after Yu Xiao went out again, Gu Tingyun received a call from his mother in his hometown, telling him that his father was involved in a car accident, and the rescue failed, and he passed away just now.The mother was sobbing on the phone, and the hairs on Gu Tingyun's back suddenly stood up.

He was very close to his father as a child.When living in the country, his father often let him ride on his broad shoulders and walk in the twilight.He picked a small piece of dogtail grass for him, but he used it to rub his father's rough cheek, which made his father sneeze again and again, and was so angry that he said that he wanted to throw him off his back, but he didn't give up.At that time, the rapeseed flowers in the field were covered with layers of golden waves, and there was a large red fire cloud in the sky, and the sun was shining brilliantly.

Whenever he expresses his liking, his father will find it for him.I remember one time when his father took him to the park to play. On the way back, he stopped to look at the toy violin in the window.His father asked him if he liked it, and he nodded, and his father bought the violin with half a month's salary at that time, without any hesitation.

Every time the little girl who came to play next door saw the beautiful violin on his bedside, she would be so envious. When she went home, she pestered her father and said she wanted one too. She pleaded repeatedly, but her father still didn't agree.

On his tenth birthday, his mother accidentally knocked over Gu Tingyun's cake, and the little guy was so sad that he burst into tears immediately.His father patted him on the head, and immediately rode the motorcycle that made a "chug chug" sound, went to the cake shop and bought a bigger cake and came back.

When his father helped him cut the cake clumsily, he became sad for no reason, crying with snot and tears all over his face, and he couldn't stop it.

In fact, most of the time, Gu Tingyun just talked and didn't really want something, but his father only said that he was really looking forward to getting it, so he worked tirelessly every time to try to satisfy his wish.When Gu Tingyun thought about it after being sensible, he was very glad that he did not grow into a arrogant and willful person because of his father's doting.

In addition to rejoicing, more is sad.His father gave him the best things he could find, but because he was ashamed to express his feelings, his father thought that when he grew up, he would forget all the kindness he had shown him when he was a child.

My father's expression would darken when he heard a friend say something like "my boy is so sweet, he bought me a belt for my birthday, look how nice it is".

Gu Tingyun is very afraid of being praised by his elders such as "this kid is really sensible" and "this kid is so caring". Since he was in elementary school, he has been reluctant to let his parents rub his face or kiss him. Get goosebumps.

He didn't know how to naturally accept the love conveyed to him by others, and he didn't know how to express his own love. After he was ten years old, he didn't even want to call when he saw his relatives. intend to change.

But even though he was an unlovable child, his parents always treated him tenderly, giving him a lot of love and care that he didn't know how to put.

The harmonious family atmosphere lasted until he was about to graduate from high school.After hesitating several times, he finally confessed to his parents his long-hidden sexual orientation.The mother cried on and off for a few days and finally accepted, but the father was furious.His relationship with his father has been strained ever since.

Neither of them tried to untie the knot, so the relationship became more and more alienated, and the mother's persuasion was useless.Gu Tingyun also went to a university far away from home because of this, and went home once during the winter and summer vacations, and met his father almost only during meals.

At this moment, guilt and regret have already occupied Gu Tingyun's brain.Without notifying Yu Xiao, Gu Tingyun immediately rushed home to attend the funeral and kept vigil for his father all night.Emotionally unstable and bumpy all the way in the harsh winter, he himself was running a fever.

He remembered fine rain falling from a leaden sky.The coldness of December in the south penetrates directly into one's bones.

In such cloudy and rainy weather, he watched his father's body being cremated, and the ashes finally went to the ground after walking around his hometown.Too many words have not had time to say, the man who gave him life has already laid down in the bun.

He used his fingers to trace his father's name engraved on the tombstone in detail. His mother stood aside and held a black umbrella for him, watching him squatting in front of his father's grave in a daze, stained with gravel. A pair of eyes were red as if they were about to drip blood.

After Gu Tingyun lay at home for two or three days, the high fever finally subsided.Count the days, those who are on a business trip should be back tomorrow.

Mother has been unable to sleep for several nights.Gu Tingyun sat with her for most of the night, hugged her and finally said goodbye, and boarded the train back to N City when the sky was getting dark.

On the way, Yu Xiao called him.Seeing the caller ID on the screen, he suddenly became flustered, swinging between answering and not answering for a long time, and finally accidentally pressed the last call with Yu Xiao in his life in a panic.

Gu Tingyun didn't compare Yu Xiao to being used to being alone, he was tired of parting.The person he cared about the most in this world has passed away, and he has no energy left to bear the uneasiness caused by Yu Xiao.

Even if they meet each other, even if they are deeply in love, there will be a time when they will be separated.Some words should be explained clearly.

Yu Xiao didn't call Gu Tingyun before he came back.It was late at night, so he didn't turn on the light because he was afraid of disturbing Gu Tingyun's rest.

However, unexpectedly, a low voice sounded in the darkness.

"I thought you would never come back after going out this time." Gu Tingyun leaned against the wall, his voice sounded very weak, "Actually, every time you go out for a long time, I have this premonition, but every time you come back Yes. I've been surprised by this recently. You're used to living a life of wandering around, how can you have any nostalgia for a place. "

Yu Xiao noticed that Gu Tingyun's voice had a broken feeling, and if he didn't pay attention to it, his suppressed emotions would burst.Clearly aware of this, he was already too tired to take care of his lover's emotions, so he just responded flatly: "This is my home, of course I want to come back."

Gu Tingyun laughed dryly: "Is it your home? You go there for several months every time, and the time you stay here in a year can't even cover half of what you spend outside. This place can be called 'home' by you. ’ I was terrified.”

"...I'm very tired. Let's talk tomorrow if you have anything to say."

"There's no need to stay until tomorrow." Gu Tingyun's voice choked up, "I'm sleepy, you enjoy wandering but I can't enjoy waiting. To tell you the truth, it was a torment for me."

Catching a trace of crying in Gu Tingyun's voice, Yu Xiao said as gently as possible: "If you really think so, you can tell me earlier."

"Will there be any change if you talk about it earlier?" Gu Tingyun leaned against the wall, lowered his head and pressed his eyebrows, "I don't want to continue this kind of life. Since you can't give up the job you love, then give up this room And... I'm fine too."

Yu Xiao had never seen Gu Tingyun lose control of his emotions to such an extent.After several days of trekking, his head was as heavy as lead. He rubbed his temples vigorously, trying to keep his voice calm: "Tingyun, don't talk when you are angry, you can't understand it very well."

"I'm not speaking out of anger. I've thought enough about it these days and this is my decision."

"You are waiting for me, I have to come back. Every time I go out, I want to come back, really." Yu Xiao walked towards Gu Tingyun, but when he stood still in front of him, he suddenly became at a loss, "I I never thought that you would let me choose between work and you..."

"I didn't ask you to make a choice, you know me, I can't force anyone to make a decision." Gu Tingyun took a deep breath, "I'm just telling you, I'm tired of frequent separation. I won't do it again Waiting for you, so you can go to other places without worrying about it."

"Have you really made up your mind?" Yu Xiao felt a churn in his stomach, and his voice was hoarse when he spoke.

"Yes." Gu Tingyun closed his eyes, his voice was firm, "Let's break up. If it's time to leave, feel free to leave."

Driven by some kind of emotion, Yu Xiao opened his arms and hugged Gu Tingyun into his arms.Gu Tingyun seemed to be able to smell the wind and dust brought back from his trek all the way, which made his eyes sour.

"Go in and rest." Yu Xiao whispered in Gu Tingyun's ear, his voice was as gentle as a vast and blue sea.

After a moment of silence, Yu Xiao put down his arms around Gu Tingyun and walked towards his room.Gu Tingyun watched Yu Xiao walk away step by step through the moonlight outside the window, and saw his back like a black cloud pressing down on the environment.

Gu Tingyun told Yu Xiao that the breakup was his decision after careful consideration, which even he himself felt false.

In fact, he has already planned the future life of the two of them, buying a new house, and the two of them will work hard to pay the loan together.He lives a nine-to-five life, so whether Yu Xiao is at home or not, he is willing to be responsible for grocery shopping, cooking, dishwashing, and laundry.Planning these trivial matters is actually quite brain-intensive for a man, but Gu Tingyun has already considered every detail.

Yu Xiao left early and returned late, and was tired from work, so Gu Tingyun felt that as long as he could do it, he would do it for him without letting him know.

"Impulse", Gu Tingyun thinks this is the worst excuse a person can find when he wants to redeem his wrongdoing, but what is it that the harsh words he said to Yu Xiao just now are not the product of his impulse ?

In the past few days, bad things have happened one after another, and what he has lost is already too heavy.If what he said just now really hurt Yu Xiao and caused the two to part ways, he didn't even know how to live a life with only him alone, and whether he could still have expectations for life.

He bit his lower lip, thinking that he would apologize to Yu Xiao tomorrow, and the two of them would sit down and have a good talk, and if there was any misunderstanding, try to resolve it.

If Yu Xiao can forgive his excessive words and deeds tonight, he will make an appointment with the sales office to see the house, which is in a clean area near the lake.

The sky in the east is pale, and the morning light will burn people's eyes soon.

"Don't... turn on the light."

Gu Tingyun huddled in the corner of the wall, covered his eyes with his palms, and suppressed sobbing for a long time.

Several loud bangs broke the deathly silence of the snowy night.The carriage was shaking uncomfortably, Gu Tingyun half-opened his eyes, and the terrified expressions of the passengers around him made his nerves tense up.

The exclamation of the passengers told him that the landslide just now did not really end.He had a feeling that he couldn't go one step further.

With the sound of boulders rolling down, the carriage received a huge impact.Gu Tingyun's breath seemed to be taken away completely.

He has come here in his life, but Yu Xiao will continue to move forward.

Before the sky and the earth collapsed in front of him, he vaguely saw his lover's raised eyebrows, long and narrow phoenix eyes, and blade-like thin lips.He often said that the guy had a mean face, but when he smiled, his eyes and brows were full of warmth.

But now it's hard to touch.

No matter how deep the feelings are, there will always be times when they fade away.When the sense of loss surged out of his heart, Gu Tingyun tried to comfort himself like this.

But thinking about it now, he always had a heart for that person.

"A Xiao."

He called out in a low voice, then closed his eyes.

Warm tears trickled down his cheeks.Ah, here's what's left of the coldest day, the last warmer.

The author has something to say:

Happy Tanabata ^^ To you who can see this.