that bastard i love

Wen Gulin opened his eyes, looked at the sunlight coming in from the gap in the curtains, and sat up.

I took out my phone and saw that it was already past twelve noon.

I don’t know what happened recently, but he is very afraid of the dark. He lies on the bed every night and can’t fall asleep. When he thinks that he won’t be able to see any light after closing his eyes, he dares not to sleep anymore. He sat on the table lamp until four or five o'clock in the morning. He didn't close his eyes until the sky slowly brightened outside the window.

And Fu Yaozu was also forced to go to work in the company these two days due to family reasons. He left at seven or eight in the morning and would not come back until after nine in the evening.

Although he always felt that it was not good to live in someone else's house, it was not worth Fu Yaozu's hard work.

And where he was working, the studio gave him a vacation, but without even thinking about it, he knew it must be arranged by Fu Yaozu.

In short, he has nothing to do now.

Wen Gulin sighed, turned over and got out of bed, got dressed and went to the toilet to wash.

Looking in the mirror, this pale self with lazy self written all over his body smiled helplessly.

Anyway, that's what he looks like...

He took a handful of cold water and splashed it on his face, but for some reason, a sudden thought hit his brain.

If... suffocate yourself in the water...

Suffocated to death, it shouldn't be ugly.

Wait...how could he have such an idea...

Delusion.

Nothing to do in the afternoon, Wen Gulin casually scrolled through Moments, and decided to go to a movie theater to watch the popular movie "White Snake: Origin" in Moments these two days.

There was nothing he could do anyway.

I bought a movie ticket online and chose a nearby movie theater.

Sitting in a dimly lit movie theater, people come and go in groups of three or four or two or two, but he is alone, which makes him look a bit pitiful in comparison.

It may be because the cinema is relatively remote, and there are not many people watching the movie.

He raised his head and stared at the empty rows of seats in front of him with the help of the dim light.

The 95-minute movie soon came to an end.

When the movie was over, many young girls in the theater were crying.

Wen Gulin threw his finished Coke cup into the trash can at the door with a blank expression, and left the cinema without looking back.

The movie is very interesting. It is adapted from "Legend of the White Snake". The plot and story are also very interesting. It is more suitable for couples to watch.

Although the final ending is indeed very touching, audiences of his age will no longer cry because of the plot of the movie.

It can only be said that some touch it.

After leaving the cinema, Wen Gulin heard that a wedding had just been held on the roof, and was going to go up to see it.

He once had such a dream. Although it is not an exaggeration to say that holding a wedding is so exaggerated, he once thought that Zhang Min would kneel on one knee, hold up the ring, and tell him, let's be together.

But this idea has never been realized during the three years they were together, and it probably won't happen in the future.

When I got to the top of the building, I found that it was over and everyone was gone, only the roses and some scattered petals.

It seems that he didn't have such a good fortune today.

Wen Gulin sighed, and picked up a rose that was about to fall apart from the ground.

Standing on a high roof, overlooking the scenery below from a height, the cold wind blows his cheeks.

If I jumped from here, wouldn't it be so painful.

These days are the most painful times for him.

Insomnia and the fear of the night surrounded him. On the one hand, he was suffering from psychological pain, and on the other hand, he was suffering from mental torment.

And...he could no longer find a reason to live...

He doesn't want to bother anyone anymore...

Although Fu Yaozu insisted on him staying, in the final analysis, he was still causing trouble for Fu Yaozu.

He never thought before that he could actually cause trouble to a young man ten years younger than himself.

He doesn't want to trouble others anymore.

Is it liberated by jumping from here?

Wen Gulin stood on the edge of the roof, looking at the scenery below in confusion, his legs trembling slightly.

You said, if a person wants to commit suicide, do he figure it out or not?

But as soon as he took a step, he flinched again.

He dare not die...

He didn't dare to end his life so easily. He thought that if he jumped from here, he would fall into eternal darkness, and then he thought of the tragic situation after he fell.

He dare not...

Not wanting to live...and not daring to die.

How ridiculous this is.

He has been too cowardly all his life, even now, he dare not even die.

But...he really can't survive...

He no longer has anything to look forward to, and he no longer has any reason for him to continue lingering in this world.

He really didn't want to cause trouble for others.

Really, enough is enough.

He is very clear that there are so many people in this world, one less than him is a lot, and there are not many people more than him, and he is just a small existence.

Even if you die, you won't be noticed.

He was too small and too lonely.

Being able to come to this world, he has no regrets.

He was happy too, he was happy too, but now he really can't hold it anymore...

What is the point of being alive?

The author has something to say that I may not be able to write over there, so I will write it in the article, wasting a few minutes for everyone, but I hope someone can take a look.

I've been thinking about the meme of depression for a long time, because now people often pretend to be depressed on the Internet to deceive everyone's sympathy, so many people don't believe it now, and even if it is serious, they will feel disgusted.

Two days before I wrote this article, a relative or friend of mine who played well in the game attempted suicide.

It’s really realistic. She was still telling us a week ago that she would run a business and earn money to support us next week, but in the blink of an eye, she heard the news that she had attempted suicide due to depression.

I have selfish intentions in writing this, I want more people to see it, and then understand those depressed patients.

Depressed patients choose suicide in the end, not because of any emotional hurt, but because they are too afraid of causing trouble to others, so they leave this world alone.

Now there are a lot of keyboard warriors on the Internet. Whenever they see news about a depressed patient, they will go up and argue, saying that they will make people die soon, and they will die soon, etc.

Maybe around us, one or two friends suffer from depression because of some emotional problems. You find it unbelievable, but you understand it wrong. They are not depressed because of small things, but long-term depression. Friends understand the pain, and that incident was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

To distinguish whether you are suffering from depression rather than defrauding sympathy, I personally asked some friends who suffer from depression around me and on the Internet. Real depression patients never post pictures of wrist cutting on the Internet. They will only choose one person to suffer silently. (If you don't agree, please close it directly and don't read it. Thank you.)

A person who really wants to die will not post on various social networking sites every day, because they have no desire to survive, nor do they want to communicate with other people, they will only end up with their relatives and friends A friend said it, and then he accepted his choice alone.

So I hope that you who read this passage can try to understand the depression patients, they are very painful, not to mention helping them, at least you can understand their choices.

If you happen to be suffering from depression when you read this text, I hope you can persevere, wait a little longer, I believe there will always be someone to save you, so persevere.

Every kind person will not be let down by this world, so please persevere.

Regarding Wen Gulin's character design, a reader told me today that he felt that the setting of Wen Gulin's long hair would remind people of girls.

Let me explain here that the prototype of Wen Gulin's character is a wandering singer I met in Dali before.

He always holds an old guitar, has a chic and cheerful personality, and wears a ponytail. We often regard him as a girl.

I asked him why he wears long hair. Doesn’t it feel weird for boys to have long hair? He told me that this is a starting point for him to pursue freedom. He just wants to break this tradition. represents his freedom.

So in Wen Gulin's character design, I also incorporated this element. For the sake of the love in my heart, I abandoned my original free and leisurely life and came to busy Beijing.

Thank you for watching me gossip for so long, I apologize for the late update, the new pit notice will be released tomorrow, the time of opening the article should be the Spring Festival, and finally please collect, ask for flowers, please support, please pay attention!