Pandora's Box

After all, I was still too weak, listening to Zhuo Wenyang talking to me gently, unconsciously, my eyelids became heavier and heavier, and my consciousness gradually drifted away again.

I'm having nightmares again.

I am not surprised by this nightmare, nor is it unfamiliar, but it still makes me very painful.

I can't move, whimpering and letting go.I seemed to be blind, with darkness in front of my eyes, and the face of the person pressing on me was blurred, but the touch of the body was very clear.

All this is pitiful and terrible.

I can only tell myself over and over again, this is a dream, this will end, it will pass.

Finally breaking free from the nightmare, I opened my eyes suddenly, my heart was still beating wildly.

Then I saw a familiar face, but not what I expected.

Meeting my gaze, Cheng Yichen looked relieved.

"Are you awake?"

I couldn't help asking: "Did I sleep for a long time?"

Wouldn't it be like the last time I woke up, turning over a calendar in a blink of an eye?

"No," he was a little embarrassed, "I'm just a little scared..."

"Are you afraid that I will fall asleep and won't wake up? Hahaha," I comforted him, "No, I've had enough sleep."

He smiled, looking slightly relaxed.

"Where's Zhuo Wenyang?"

"I saw him sitting here dozing off, so I advised him to go to rest," Cheng Yichen said, "He has been working hard every day for a while, and when you wake up, you can finally feel relieved, and it's his turn to get a good night's sleep."

So Zhuo Wenyang is the same as them, has been guarding me?

Thinking of this, I couldn't help but feel happy again.

Cheng Yichen looked at me carefully, and said cautiously: "You seem to be in a good mood."

I smiled happily: "Yeah."

"That's good," he said in a low voice. "It seemed that you were in pain when you fell asleep just now. I was a little worried."

"Ah, I was just having a nightmare."

"What nightmare?"

"..." I can only say, "I dreamed, I dreamed that there was a car accident."

His expression tightened, his eye circles seemed to be red, and he said hoarsely: "Hey, poor child..."

I quickly said: "It's okay, it's okay, it's all over!"

I'm actually a little confused, although I don't have much contact with Cheng Yichen, but my impression is that he is not such a sentimental person, he is quite cheerful, more sunny than his brother.

Why did he suddenly become so weak that he would cry at every turn?

Thinking back to when I first regained consciousness, he was the one who cried the most with all his heart, and my dad pales in comparison.

Last night I also heard from Zhuo Wenyang that Cheng Yichen was completely in a state of collapse a few days ago, guarding the door of the ICU and refusing to leave.

I can understand his love for the house and the crow, and empathize with him, and of course I am very moved by it.

But, I also think, as for this?

I am not his child.

Cheng Yichen stayed with me for a while, and then came to the doctor's examination again.

The result is optimistic. I have great fortune and destiny. I have successfully passed the most dangerous stage. For the rest of the time, I just need to strictly follow the doctor's advice and recover from my injuries.

There was a knock on the door of the ward, and Lu Feng helped Cheng Yichen in.

I hurriedly wanted to stand up: "Uncle Chen!"

His face was weak and pale, but his expression was joyful.

"Hey……"

He came over and grabbed my hand tightly, but didn't say a word.

I reached out my other hand and hugged him.

"I'm fine, Uncle Chen."

I could feel that he was really worried about me.

He nodded, as if he was patient, and after a while he whispered: "It's fine."

He choked up.

God, these two brothers don't take turns crying in front of me, I'm easily contagious with emotions and can't stand it.

"It's all right," I said. "Look at me, I'm complete from head to toe, and I'm missing nothing! Oh no, I've had my hair shaved..."

He finally smiled: "The hair can grow again."

I sighed: "It's over, your appearance must be seriously reduced now, hairstyle is too important. Can you show me a mirror?"

Cheng Yichen looked at me intently.

"What's wrong?" I said in horror, "Am I really ugly now?"

"No," he smiled, feeling a little emotional again, "it feels so...precious to see you alive again. At that time, you really scared me to death."

I said innocently, "Did I do something?"

"You didn't do anything," he said with a wry smile, "you just went into cardiac arrest."

"..." So have I really died once?

"Fortunately, those two people have been insisting on doing CPR for you," he recalled, with a dazed expression on his face. "It's been a long time, so long that I thought there was no hope."

I remembered the dream of walking in the dark, and the moment when I was pushed back.

He breathed a sigh of relief: "I really have to thank them, they saved our lives."

Lu Feng said beside him: "I will."

This is a very useful tool.

Cheng Yichen asked again: "By the way, do you know Ji Chengyan?"

"Huh? I know."

This person is a comedian, and he was a regular guest on a variety show in the early days. Although he is not very popular, I still like to watch that show.Later, he went to film a TV series, he acted very well, became popular, and Yuan Keke even had a CP with him and that.

Cheng Yichen said: "The ones who rescued us were him and his assistant."

"Wow," I was overjoyed, "Is it such a coincidence? You can meet celebrities here. I knew I would have asked for an autograph."

Cheng Yichen smiled again: "You."

I understand his shadow of seeing me walk between life and death, and he understands that I am amusing him.This is the tacit understanding between me and this man who is more like my biological father.

Except for that sentence, Lu Feng didn't speak again, just looked at us quietly.

He seemed to be watching me.

After chatting for a while, seeing that I looked tired, they told me to take a good rest. After the Cheng brothers walked out, Lu Feng stopped.

He turned his head and said to me: "You're fine, that's good. Xiaochen is very worried about you. Until your condition is stable, he has no desire to live at all."

"Uh……"

Have I become so important?

When it comes to car accidents, I have more experience than the average person.In my last car accident, no one seemed to care, but this time everyone cares about me, which makes me very flattered.

I suddenly thought: "If my heart stopped like that that day..."

He glanced at me: "Then we should all be fine."

"……"is it so serious?

Lu Feng looked at me, and suddenly said, "Your head is hurt."

"Yeah," I touched the tight gauze on my head, "but the doctor said there's nothing serious."

"That's good. If you have any discomfort, or questions, or requests, you can come to me," he said, "come to me directly."

"what?"

Why are you looking for him?Will he see a doctor?

Lu Feng nodded towards me, and when he closed the door and left, I suddenly realized that he might be alluding to the fact that I might recover my memory.

He came out more alert and awake than everyone else.

But what he didn't know was that although I didn't remember it, I had already guessed it.And in my heart, I quietly reconciled with my past self and him in the past.

I exhaled and looked at the not so clear sky outside the window of the ward.

Things from the past hurt me, but I can work through them.

As Mr. X said, people can forget hate for the sake of love.

I am dreaming again.

This is the most painful part of the aftermath of the car accident.

Same dream, similar torment.

I tried my best, but I couldn't make myself have other dreams, or not dream.The most frightening thing is that things like dreams can't be controlled at all, and I can't ask anyone for help on this matter.

I feel like I am in purgatory every day, tormenting every night, and I can't get out.

Day after day, I began to dare not sleep.

Zhuo Wenyang came to see me, looked at me for a long time, and then said carefully: "You look very haggard."

"Well, I haven't been sleeping well recently."

"What's wrong? The wound hurts? Do you want to ask a doctor to see it?"

I shook my head: "No, I am, and I have nightmares."

"What nightmare?"

I can only say to him: "I dreamed about the car accident."

His expression looked a little pitiful: "This kind of thing won't happen again, don't be afraid."

"Ok, I know.

But what bothers me is that I don't think the scene that happened in the dream will repeat itself, even if I have let go of this incident, it still repeats itself in my dream over and over again.

Is my subconscious mind holding on to it?

It seemed like as much as I tried to forget, there was another part of me deep in my soul who wouldn't.

This situation continued until I was discharged from the hospital, and there was no improvement.

I thought that as time passed and I actively adjusted my mentality, the sequelae would gradually disappear sooner or later.However, contrary to expectations, as soon as I fell asleep, everything would return to my dream.Not only did the nightmare not fade away, but it became clearer.

The person's movements became more and more distinct, and the outline became more and more clear.It was as if he was about to come alive from my vague dream and turn all this embarrassing process into reality.

My insomnia problem became so serious that even if I didn't say it, it showed on my face in the form of dark circles, so that Zhuo Wenyang almost kidnapped me to see a psychiatrist.

"Your situation is very common," he said. "Traumatic stress disorder after a car accident is not uncommon. You don't need to be afraid and don't run away from it."

I still kept my mouth shut: "I'm fine, really..."

He looked at me and said, "You can ask for help, Xiao Jing."

"..."

"You don't need to digest everything by yourself."

"..."

He was so gentle, so gentle that I couldn't resist at all.

Zhuo Wenyang sent me to see a psychiatrist.The doctor who made an appointment was a very elegant and gentle middle-aged woman. Her speech was very smooth and soft, soothing like a spring breeze, and hypnotizing people.But I'm still a little nervous.

I racked my brains to make up my own nightmare about the car accident, and she listened attentively, asking me a few questions now and then.

After a while, she put down the notebook in her hand and asked gently: "Actually, what did you really dream about?"

"..."

"It's not a car accident that bothers you, is it?"

"..."

"We're going to go a lot slower in healing if you don't let me see what's really inside of you," she said, "I can understand your not wanting to tell the truth, but I'm different from everyone else in your social relationship. You don't have to worry about me judging you, you can even imagine that I'm just a treatment instrument, in front of the X-ray machine, we won't cover our lesions, can we?"

I hesitated for a while and asked, "Then, will he know?" I was referring to Zhuo Wenyang.

"Of course not, we have a confidentiality agreement. Everything you say to me is confidential and safe."

I licked my lips and whispered, "I was sexually assaulted a few years ago."

She listened quietly, her expression didn't change, and she didn't mean to judge me or pity me, so I calmed down and continued: "Later..."

I have never confided to anyone, so I am not very proficient. The narrative at the beginning was intermittent, broken and messy.I tried my best to recall and organize, and the fading past that I didn't intend to recall gradually became clear and smooth in my mind.

In the process of telling this story, I suddenly had some strange feelings.It was like knocking on a door that had been blocked for a long time, and behind that door, there was a vague and eager response that I didn't know.

After bidding farewell to the doctor, I saw Zhuo Wenyang still sitting in the waiting room waiting for me. He heard the reputation and looked at me and asked, "How is it?"

I made an OK gesture: "Very well."

"Really? That's great." He saw through my scumbag's eagerness for success, and said with a smile, "But you don't need to rush to have an effect. Take your time and don't feel pressured."

"Uh-huh."

He added: "Let's go for a walk and take a stroll. You haven't come out for a long time to relax, and it also affects your mood."

There is a scenic spot nearby, so there is also a snack street. We walked in the twilight, looking at the various restaurant signs on both sides, and the sizzling fried chicken cutlets on the stalls along the road. , teppanyaki, octopus balls...

Probably because my eyeballs were rolling around too obviously, Zhuo Wenyang asked, "Do you want to eat anything?"

I pretended to be reserved: "These seem unhealthy, wait until Uncle Chen wants to scold me."

He smiled and said, "It's okay to make an exception once in a while."

"Then I want to eat grilled squid!"

He smiled and said, "Okay."

In the twilight, his face with a slight smile, and the hot touch of freshly grilled fresh squid on his lips and tongue are the last warmth before the sun sinks this day.

The psychological counseling during the day was done well, and I felt a lot more relaxed after talking, so I was full of confidence that I would no longer have nightmares.

However, when drowsiness swept over me at night, and I was floating and sinking in the waves of sleepiness, I dreamed the same scene again.

In this dream, I was still firmly pressed down, whimpering, all the struggles were in vain and painful, a burning feeling spread in my limbs, as if I was in purgatory.

I desperately, desperately, tried my best to open my eyes and get rid of this darkness.

But this time, I opened my eyes.

I broke free from the nightmare, panting heavily.

My heart was beating like it was going to burst my chest, my hands and feet were cold, but I could feel the sweat dripping from my brow.

I heard my teeth chattering.

The face of that person in the dream was not Lu Feng.

He is Cheng Yichen.