Pandora's Box

I asked him, "Do you know about this?"

He hesitated obviously: "This..."

Given my dad's friendship with him, it wasn't unexpected that he knew about this.

I was a little sad, but I still pretended to be light and said: "So this is a well-known secret? Hey, to tell you the truth, I have been thinking about this since last night, and I have thought about it, will it be You are my real father."

Cheng Yichen was stunned for a moment, then opened his eyes wide: "Ah? Me, me?"

"So I also stole your toothbrush to test it."

He tensed up suddenly and stared at me.

He asked, "Then, have the test results come out?"

"It came out," I shrugged, "It turns out that I have no blood relationship with you either."

He seemed stunned.After a while, he asked me back, "Are you sure?"

Me: "??? Sure."

"That," he said cautiously, "Can you show me the test report?"

I was a little baffled, but I still pulled out the folded report from my pocket and handed it to him.

He carefully examined the words above, the surprise on his face increased instead of diminishing, and I could feel a slight tremor in his voice.

"We really have no blood relationship at all?"

I:"???"

What do you mean?Did he also think he would be my dad?

We had a messy roast for dinner this day.Except for Lu Feng who ate it without realizing it and poured himself into it, the others were all chewing the overcooked and inexplicably seasoned mutton skewers, not daring to say anything, with a dazed look on their faces.

It seems that this chaotic day is not just for me.

Before going to bed that night, Zhuo Wenyang came to see me again.

"I know you must have a lot of questions waiting to be answered," he said. "Whatever you want to know, I will find it for you."

"..."

"But I also hope that you can calm down and think about what you really want to know and how to deal with it."

I acted nonchalantly: "What is there to think about? What are you facing? Soldiers will block you, and water will cover you with earth."

He shook his head: "This time it was because it happened so suddenly that you were completely unprepared, so you received such a big blow."

He said softly: "So I hope that everything that comes next, before coming, can make you as prepared as possible. I don't want to see you so sad again."

"..."

That night I lay on my back, thinking about many things and thinking about many people.

All this is intertwined into a chaotic and huge universe, and I am so small in it.

I didn't think it through, so I didn't ask Zhuo Wenyang to find out anything for me.

After dinner that night, I was in a daze in the bedroom staring at the boring food and broadcasts on the computer screen, when suddenly I heard someone knock on my door.

The door was not closed at all, I raised my head and saw Cheng Yichen standing by the door holding a plate of watermelon with sliced ​​flesh.

"Will it bother you?"

I shook my head.

He came in and gently put down the plate.

"I want to talk to you about your dad."

I sat up straight involuntarily.

"You should, have a lot of questions you want to ask me?"

"Ah."

"No matter what you want to ask, I will tell you what I know," he paused, "just, you need to think carefully about the question you plan to ask."

He and Zhuo Wenyang are really father and son.

I did think about it for a long time.As for my biological father, I can't picture him at all.

What I care more about than what kind of person he is is why he never comes to me?

Why, after all these years, didn't intend to come to me - even hinted at - to make me realize that he is my father?

Even for such a ruthless person as Lu Feng, he could at least make Ke Luo feel the connection between them.

But my biological father didn't seem to intend to leave any traces for me.

If he doesn't know that there is such a person as me in this world, then I can understand the indifference for so many years.And if he knows everything, but is unwilling to face it, then what is it?Do I still need to go to him?

I was silent for a while before opening my mouth: "Does he know of my existence?"

Cheng Yichen hesitated for a moment, then said, "I know."

"Then does he know where I am?"

"know."

My heart sank.

"I don't want to ask."

Cheng Yichen was taken aback for a moment.

I said, "I don't want to know more about him. That's it."

Cheng Yichen looked at me.

"Since you know everything and don't come to me, then there's nothing to say. I don't plan to go to him either. This is the end of the matter."

He said eagerly: "Don't be like this, Xiao Jing, it's not that he doesn't care about you."

I asked, "Then why does he care about me?"

"..."

"May I ask what is preventing him from confessing to me? Is someone preventing him from coming? Or is he unable to come because of a broken leg?"

"..."

"No, right? He just doesn't want to, does he?"

Cheng Yichen said in a low voice: "No, he just didn't want to hurt you..."

I smiled: "So I look like I haven't been hurt?"

"..."

"I suggested to him, stop using the name of 'do not want to hurt' to make excuses for his evasion of responsibility."

"..."

"Knowing that I have this child, and knowing that I have not fulfilled my father's responsibility, then come and meet me and talk to me. This is what a man does, right? What is it to hide and say 'concern'? No Would it be too hypocritical?"

"..."

"Trouble him to figure it out, from the moment he gave birth to me and ignored me, he was hurting me, but now he's saying 'I don't want to hurt'. Doesn't he know what it means to be hurt?"

Cheng Yichen's throat moved with difficulty, and it took him a long time to say: "Xiao Jing, he feels very guilty towards you. As for confessing to you, it's not that he doesn't want to, but he doesn't dare..."

"So he's a coward?"

"..."

"Isn't he just escaping? What is there to deny what he has done? If you feel ashamed of me, you should apologize to me, right? Even if my birth was a mistake for him, Then please let him stand up and admit this mistake. Is it difficult? Is it really that difficult?"

"..."

I spoke aggressively and questioned, but choked up a bit: "Are you adults all so timid and hypocritical?"

Cheng Yichen stopped talking, he looked very sad, and I don't know who he was feeling sad for.

I slept very poorly that night. Even after taking melatonin, my sleep was repeated and extremely restless.

In the haze, like a dream, it seemed that someone was watching me by the bed, he touched my head gently, and murmured "poor child", he seemed to be about to cry.