Temperament

When he crawled to the bed and lay down, he suddenly remembered the last time Zhuo Tianyi found him by the lotus pond and carried him back to feed him and take a bath.

In this relatively calm state of mind, Shen Qinglan also wanted to face the reality that she would never be able to return to the Meng family, and did not want to delve into all the grievances between the two from beginning to end.After all, Zhuo Tianyi did let him go, it was he who chose to come back, and those things happened later.No matter how difficult this is, we must face it.

It's not that I am grateful to him for letting go, nor that I really have any feelings for him, but, maybe now, it's time to face my decision at that time, whether it was Zhou Yunlei's mistake at that time, or Zhuo Tianyi's later coercion Forcibly occupying, can't change the fact that he once had the opportunity to walk in front of Meng Huaiyuan.You can't shirk your responsibility for making a decision because of what happened later.Even when I think about it, my heart still hurts.

Maybe this kind of pain will recur occasionally, and maybe occasionally he needs to borrow the fact that Zhuo Tianyi possesses him to help him face the difficult sea of ​​regret that is separated from Meng Huaiyuan.Therefore, it may be a very practical and useful approach to achieve peaceful coexistence with him without any relationship.

Thinking of this, Shen Qinglan got up again, untied Zhuo Tianyi's belt, and pushed him left and right according to the previous method. After several repetitions, he finally took off his trousers and socks.

When he was drying the pantyhose on the screen, he just went to the bathroom and rubbed a cloth towel, scrubbed his face and body, and then put a quilt on his chest.

After finishing these things, when it was almost ugly, Shen Qinglan crawled tiredly to the bed and lay down, Zhuo Tianyi's snoring continued, he was too tired to ignore the impact of this snoring on sleep.

After tossing and turning on the pillow twice, in a hazy consciousness, it suddenly occurred to me that maybe I was still contradictory, not only wanting to have nothing to do with Zhuo Tianyi emotionally, but also hoping to use the de facto relationship with him to face the separation from Meng Huaiyuan , because this can even let go of so many threats and coercions he has done to himself.The whole person seems to have returned to the scene before the jade pendant was destroyed. At that time, he was also separated into two halves, with one side standing on his side and the other half standing on Meng Huaiyuan's side.

That night I had that familiar dream again, Meng Huaiyuan stood on the bow and stretched out a hand, "Qing Lan, hold on, swim for a while, and the senior brother will pull you up."

Shen Qinglan was dragged behind the boat in the water by the tightly twisted cloth on her chest, her hand was still warm and friendly and full of strength, but he was getting more and more tired and cold , and the distance from that hand is getting farther and farther.

Brother, you...

In the dream, Shen Qinglan heard herself yelling something to Meng Huaiyuan on the bow of the boat. A wave hit him and buried him in the water. The rest of the words were washed away by the waves, making her inaudible...

It was almost noon when Zhuo Tianyi woke up. When he got up, he found that he was only wearing obscene pants, and his mind was in a daze. All the memories of last night had disappeared. I have no impression.

He sat on the bed for a long time, his eyes came into contact with another folded quilt and an empty pillow beside him, and he finally got out of the state of not being able to tell what night it is.

Shen Qinglan!

This name jumped out of my mind with unprecedented clarity, and the memories of the previous few days came back to my mind one after another under the guidance of this name.

My mind flashed over that day when I heard the unforgettable sound of the piano and Shen Qinglan’s anger and injury when she calmly said that she couldn’t play it; when she heard Biyuan playing the piano in Zhubifang, she saw his self-righteous stealth and clumsy drugging methods. At the gate of the mansion, I saw Zhou Yunlei holding Shen Qinglan's hand to help him get out of the car and Shen Qinglan's expression of acceptance; when Zhuo Shi'an said that Bi Yuan and Jin Ximei came to him and Shen Qinglan The anxious and helpless when he was by his side; the straightforwardness and determination to beat his self-righteousness head-on when facing Biyuan with wishful thinking to recommend himself as a pillow; heartbroken.

Countless feelings welled up in my heart, and countless emotions intertwined in my heart.He raised his head, and his eyes came into contact with the piano on the corner of the outer room. After a burst of mixed feelings like flying through chaotic clouds, his mind suddenly cleared up, as if the clouds had cleared the sun and the fog had cleared.

He quickly got up from the bed, after dressing and washing, he ordered his servants to summon Zhuo Shi'an, and while he was having a meal, he gave Zhuo Shi'an such and such orders.After that, he took the qin in the corner of the room and put it under his arm, and asked the servant to bring the horse, and rode out of the house.

Shen Qinglan finished this month's shop inspection records in the study, and went to the door of the next study to hand over the records to Zhuo Tianyi, but found that the door was empty and no one was there.

Are you still drunk in bed?This thought slipped through his mind, and he immediately denied it. He obviously didn't find anyone on the bed when he went back to eat at noon.

He put the manuscript back in his study, and then went back to the east chamber.

When passing the lotus pond, Shen Qinglan stopped again.The summer season has passed, and the lotus flowers in the lotus pond have almost withered. After the original leaves have fallen, there are only bare lotus heads standing alone among the still green lotus leaves, trembling slightly in the cool wind.

Perhaps it was due to the climate in Jiangbei, the lotus bloomed earlier than in Jiangnan. He remembered that at this time in Jiangnan, there should still be Chi lotus blooming.

He walked along the edge of the pond to the place where he stayed last time, sat down there, and quietly watched the autumn colors of the lotus pond in front of him.

At this time, I realized that, looking carefully, many of those green lotus leaves actually had rusty and withered marks, looked dirty, and some of the edges were still curled up, standing listlessly.Occasionally, there are one or two late-fading flowers, and the petals that have lost their bright color hang sparsely on the edge of the calyx, and a few pieces are scattered on the lotus leaves below, or floating on the water surface with green duckweed, looking dirty.

Autumn is autumn after all, and it can't be compared with the mid-June of "the lotus leaves are boundless blue in the sky, and the lotus flowers are red in the sun", Shen Qinglan sighed in her heart.

When his eyes inadvertently passed over those lotus pods standing like bare poles again, a different thought came to his mind.

When he was in Meng's house, he would always eat fresh lotus pods every summer. He remembered that those white and fat lotus seeds were hiding in the lotus pods of these bald-looking lotus pods.Peel off the lotus pod with your hands, remove the lotus seeds and eat the lotus heart. When you eat it, your mouth is full of crispy taste, which seems to have the fragrance of lotus leaves.

I didn't notice it before, but now I realize that when the lotus seeds are ripe, the lotus flowers have withered, and when the lotus flowers are in full bloom, the lotus seeds are not yet ripe, and the crisp and sweet taste can't be tasted in your mouth. .

Inevitably, a ray of regret rose in my heart, neither light nor heavy, neither sudden nor intense, as if I was born with it, but I never noticed it.

Maybe many things are like this, just like wanting the beauty of lotus and the sweetness of lotus seeds at the same time, it is simply impossible to achieve.

Moreover, even the lotus seeds still have the bitter lotus heart, not all of them are sweet.

Shen Qinglan carefully went down to the stone beside the lotus pond, stretched out her arms, reached for the nearest lotus stem, hooked it over and broke it, picked off the lotus pod above, and returned to the bank to sit down.

He put the lotus pod in his hand, peeled off the lotus pod, took out one of the lotus seeds, peeled it off, put it in his mouth, chewed it slowly, and carefully felt the lotus seeds and the lotus heart inside melted into his tongue after being ground by his teeth. The lightness and crispness of the surface, the slight sweetness in it, and the lingering bitterness that cannot be ignored.

In the past, when Meng Huaiyuan ate lotus seeds, he always said that he should eat the lotus heart together. Although the lotus heart is bitter, it clears the mind and eyesight and is good for the body.But he always quietly removes the lotus heart, and only eats the two crispy lotus seeds.At that time, Meng Huaiyuan would point to his head affectionately, scold him "little devil's head" with a smile, and then let him go.

Thinking about it now, maybe Meng Huaiyuan was too indulgent to him at that time, or maybe he didn't know it very well.A person's life is like a lotus seed, the lotus heart and the suffering of the lotus heart are bound to exist in it and cannot be eliminated.

If Meng Huaiyuan had been able to put on a straight face and forcefully let him eat Lian Xin at that time, would the bitterness in his mouth and the regret in his heart be avoided at this moment?Or lessen?

Shen Qinglan thought slowly, eating all the lotus seeds in the lotus pod one by one like drinking tea and wine by the pond.

Finally, I stared blankly at the broken lotus pod in my hand for a while, then picked a lotus leaf, wrapped it in the carefully prepared lotus pod, thought for a while, opened it again, scooped up the soil, wrapped it up again, and carefully sank into it. In the lotus pond water on the shore.

After that, he clapped his hands and stood up, glanced at the moon in the sky, which was still like a thin shadow, and walked towards the east chamber.

When I walked to the entrance of the main courtyard of the East Chamber, I was startled. There were people coming and going inside. Zhuo Shi'an stood in the middle of the courtyard and directed the servants to carry the tables, chairs, cabinets and other things out of the courtyard. Shen Qinglan took a closer look and saw that the furniture The items are all those that have been reused in the house, and even the cabinet that he took the books from this morning is also listed.

"Butler, are you..." Shen Qinglan walked to Zhuo Shi'an and asked.

"This is the order of the young master, you will know when you enter the room." Zhuo Shi'an pouted into the room and replied with a smile.

Shen Qinglan walked into the room, and there were quite a few tables, chairs, and cabinets inside. Looking carefully, the furniture was almost exactly the same as the original ones, but the color was updated.

The maids were scrubbing, scrubbing, and resetting, restoring all the objects in the house to their original state.Zhuo Tianyi stood in the middle of the room and told them to clean up Shen Qinglan's books carefully so that nothing was missing.

"What... what is this?" Shen Qinglan asked in surprise.

"I threw away all the things Jiang Moyan touched and touched in our room and replaced them with new ones." Zhuo Tianyi smiled at him, Shi Shiran walked over and held his hand, "I'll let you use Jiang Moyan's hand." You have been wronged by the things Mo Yan touched."

Shen Qinglan's eyes widened, "You..." After being stunned for a moment, she suddenly remembered the parchment book hidden under the mattress, and was so anxious that she immediately threw off his hand and ran into the inner room.

The author has something to say: Most of Shen Mi's growth and comprehension is through self-experience, so he talks less and thinks more. Everyone blames me for writing too many scenes of him alone. There is no way, the relationship between him and Mr. Zhuo It is definitely not as good as resonating with Mr. Meng on the spiritual level, but it is precisely because of their differences that they can be attracted.Love and marriage are certainly not as vulgar as eating, drinking, and having children, but they are certainly not all as elegant as piano, chess, calligraphy, painting, poetry, wine, and tea ceremony.

Moreover, Mr. Zhuo is not a person without pursuit, and Shen Mi has not reached the realm where she can survive by sucking wind and drinking dew, so when the two of them do things, quarrel, talk, drink, have sex, love, when the time is right Take another life, and that's life.

What a wonderful thing...Wow, this is the blueprint for a perfect life that my mother constructed for her son and daughter-in-law!