Temperament

Shen Qinglan was busy with the things at hand every day. Although her mood was no longer as intense and turbulent as it was a few days ago, it was not calm either.Zhuo Tianyi's absence made him relax a lot. Once he relaxed, he no longer had to use the method of focusing on affairs to divert his attention as before. With freedom, he also had a lot of time alone to think about things .

Yupei was gone, and when I thought about it before, I felt sore and full of hatred for Zhuo Tianyi.Looking at it now, maybe many things are destined not to be kept, and what can be kept are probably some memories.

It's a pity that after those memories, there are too many new memories. Shen Qinglan doesn't know whether those memories that seem to be shining like gold will be obliterated by the later ones, just like the distant place ahead In the Qianlong River, in the rushing river, the front waves lead the back waves, the back waves push the front waves, and the front waves covered by the back waves will leave any traces.Is it like those fleeting waves that leave nothing in the end?

Maybe the front waves are not willing to be overwhelmed by the back waves. If so, will those waves always float on the water and never subside?

Many problems are like puzzles one by one, which he can't get out of.In fact, he knew in his heart that if he didn't go to Luoying Mountain Villa, he just closed his eyes and didn't face it. In fact, those things didn't exist because he didn't face them.

Meng Huaiyuan will definitely go to the martial arts conference, and he will still bring Jiang Moyan with him.He would also hold his hand and help him get in and out of the car, go in and out with him, they would talk and smile to each other, eat, drink tea, and drink together. To do what many have done with him in the past years.

He remembered that year on the Qianlong River, he was ordered by his master Meng Liren to send the token of Limeng to the bamboo pavilion, and Meng Huaiyuan promised him to warm a pot of drunken spring breeze for him when he came back.As a result, after more than three years, the pot of wine has not been drunk, maybe there will be no chance in this life, maybe the pot of wine has long been drunk by Jiang Moyan, maybe he is like Qianlang, in Meng Huaiyuan's memory After being overwhelmed by Jiang Moyan's back wave, nothing was left.

While thinking this way, he will still find many reasons to deny it.He and Jiang Moyan must be different, in Meng Huaiyuan's heart.

Well, it's different, he's just a junior, Meng Huaiyuan doesn't know that he loves him so long and so deeply.As for Jiang Moyan, Zhuo Tianyi said that he had already followed Meng Huaiyuan.Even if this is Zhuo Tianyi's one-sided remarks, but Jiang Moyun can give up Zhuo Tianyi who has been planning for him for three years for Meng Huaiyuan. I am afraid that his treatment of Meng Huaiyuan is no longer that simple.

The two of them get along every day, just like how he and Meng Huaiyuan got along for so many years in the past. It's only natural for two people to have feelings.Meng Huaiyuan, he was originally such a generous, warm and compassionate person.

Shen Qinglan just doesn't want to look at it anymore, that's also a fact, and he can't help but change it because of his denial, just like even if Meng Huaiyuan didn't know, he has already lost his body to Zhuo Tianyi, no longer holding a parchment in his pocket, and loving Meng Huaiyuan's cleanliness with all his heart Clean him up.

Many things are like this, which cannot be changed by people's will.The water in the Qianlong River will not flow backwards. No matter how much pain, hatred, and grievances, they can only dissipate in the water and sky like droplets splashed by waves, and will never be remembered by the river.

He stood on the top of the back mountain, looking at the direction of Qingzhou. Qingzhou is located between Suzhou and Jinyang. This day is the day when the martial arts conference is held. Meng Huaiyuan at this time may be the closest to him in the past three years. .

But no matter how close he was, there was still a distance from Qingzhou to Jinyang, Zhuo Tianyi's distance.Even if Meng Huaiyuan had nothing to do with Jiang Moyan, he and Zhuo Tianyi were irrefutable facts.

He slowly sat down on the big rock on the top of the mountain, leaned back, and looked at the sky.After the beginning of autumn, the weather has become a bit cooler, and the wind on the top of the mountain blows over the face, carrying dry heat.

In the sky above the head, there are a few strands of clouds floating, light, remote, and unreachable, not as close as I remember when I was lying on the grass slope with Meng Huaiyuan and looking up at the sky.There is no longer the warmth of the reassuring and infinitely nostalgic arms around the face, only the autumn wind and coolness that rolls in.

Feeling lonely, Shen Qinglan closed her eyes, recalling the sunshine and warmth on the grassy slope in her memory for a long time.

For the rest of the day, my mood gradually calmed down, and there were some changes in my life.The pace of walking through the mansion every day is no longer hurried, and the expression is no longer tense. Even the back and shoulders that are always straight are loosened a lot, making the whole person look more desolate and indifferent, as if he will take advantage of it at any time. The wind returns.

Gu Qingyang met him on the road once, and joked that it was because of Zhuo Tianyi's absence. When Shen Qinglan heard this, she just smiled lightly, called "Uncle Gu" and passed by, making Gu Qingyang's eyes widen , I can't believe that this is the Shen Qinglan who confronted Shi Qiming at the South Street semicolon before, and after hearing his teasing jokes, his face was stretched to the point of tearing.

It's just that when he met Zhou Yunlei, Shen Qinglan remained silent. When Zhou Yunlei called him, he just took a look, then lowered his eyes, and passed by.Zhou Yunlei couldn't figure out how much of this silence was blame, how much despair, and how much stranger.He could only stare at his back for a long time, caught in his own guesses.

When Zhuo Tianyi came back, Shen Qinglan was in the study.Zhuo Tianyi did not enter his room immediately, but went out of the lattice window to observe his movements.

During the few days on the road, he really felt like returning home. The original eight-day journey was shortened to six and a half days.Back in the mansion, guessing that Shen Qinglan was in the study at this time, he went to his study first, put down his luggage, and then went to see him quietly. He urgently needed to know about Shen Qinglan's state these days.

Looking in from the window, Shen Qinglan's figure sitting behind the desk looked thinner again, wearing a light blue thin coat, with her head bowed and a pen in her hand, as if she was writing something.However, the tip of the pen hovered about an inch away from the paper, and did not fall for a long time. Zhuo Tianyi saw that the ink droplets from the pen tip had already fallen on the paper and smudged, but Shen Qinglan still turned a blind eye to it.

Zhuo Tianyi couldn't help sighing, turned away from the window and walked towards the door.When he pushed the door open, he deliberately made a sound, and when he entered, he saw Shen Qinglan was awakened by the sound and raised his head.

Seeing that it was him, Shen Qinglan was taken aback for a moment, and when she was writing, she found ink droplets on the paper, crumpled the paper into a ball, and threw it into the wastebasket.

Then he stood up, glanced at him, and whispered, "You're back?"

This look is much better than when he came back from Liangzhou last time, Zhuo Tianyi felt that he should be satisfied, "I'm back."

He stretched out his hand to pull Shen Qinglan from behind the desk to the front of him, and looked at his face carefully, "You're thinner again," he stroked his cheek with his eyes hanging down, "Are you tired? Or didn't you sleep well?"

Shen Qinglan shook her head, "No."

Zhuo Tianyi looked at the thin blood vessels on his thin eyelids from top to bottom, and the slightly trembling eyes below. There were two groups of faint blue under the eyes, which was enough to prove that he was not telling the truth at the moment.

He stretched out his hand to wrap Shen Qinglan into his arms, let his face rest on his shoulder, lowered his head and pressed his lips on the shiny black hair at the back of his head, "Shen Qinglan..."

The sound of sighing and calling, spread beside the cool earlobe.Zhuo Tianyi raised Shen Qinglan's face with his hand, looked carefully at his eyes, then bent down and kissed him tenderly, moving his lips on his lips, carefully tracing every arc on it, every corner.

Shen Qinglan closed her eyes before he kissed her and accepted it meekly. This was the second time after the night before she left that Shen Qinglan accepted his kiss instead of enduring it.

This made him feel a little excited and sentimental, his lips rubbed the corners of Shen Qinglan's mouth and cheeks to his ears, tightened his arms, and used his whole body and mind to experience the warm touch of the person in his arms, and directly expressed his feelings, " I miss you very much. I was in a hurry on the way back. I wanted to stop by the shop there when I passed by Suizhou, but I didn’t. It’s a waste of time. I just want to get back to you soon..."

"I'm thinking, in the future, I'll let the brothers divide up the work of patrolling the store. I won't be able to do it all by myself... That way I can spend more time with you..."

"The weather is getting colder. In a few days, let's go out to play and relax, okay... You are too tired during this time. Speaking of which, since the last time I bought a candy tree figurine on West Street, I haven't had any pain." I took you out formally, next time, we go to Lianzhou, the seaside, the Zhuo family has a separate mansion there, warm in winter and cool in summer, how about we go live there for a while?"

He was talking slowly, and he didn't care whether Shen Qinglan was listening or responding, he just wanted to express his feelings, hoping to heat him up with his own heart.

At night, when he really embraced him, Zhuo Tianyi found that Shen Qinglan was still alienated.Although there is no longer any resistance and patience, and he has accepted all his requests, there is still no response.

The most important thing is that Shen Qinglan still stopped his hand stretching in front of him, closed her eyes and shook her head gently.This disappointed Zhuo Tianyi, and it was very unpleasant. He even wondered whether Shen Qinglan still wanted to unilaterally put him in the position of a robber, although this time was different from the time before he left, Shen Qinglan did not propose it on his own initiative.

He hugged him and looked down at his quietly waiting face with closed eyes.

He was in love with him, but he didn't want to go to Wushan with him.

This realization came to Zhuo Tianyi's mind, and the feeling of frustration came to his heart, mixed with some uncomfortable feelings similar to resignation or even humiliation.

However, these feelings disappeared without a trace when Shen Qinglan opened his eyes a moment later, closed them again after seeing him.

It is already very good to let him put away his hard thorns and no longer point at himself. It is not easy to hold him in his arms and do the most intimate thing in the world instead of just a way of confrontation and compromise.

Instead of being depressed, it's better to save your energy and find a way to open his heart step by step, infiltrate Zhuo Tianyi's love and warmth into him, infiltrate him, and ignite him.

Thinking of this, he bent his face down, kissed him more tenderly, and at the same time kissed him passionately, called his name over and over again in his ear, and treated him as gently as possible.During the process, I always pay attention to his expression, restrain my emotions and movements, so as not to make him feel uncomfortable.

Shen Qinglan closed her eyes and put her hands on Zhuo Tianyi's shoulders, feeling the astringent pain and numbness from her lower body and body caused by the constant manipulation of hard and hot objects, but she couldn't tell what was going on in her heart.

It wasn't a good feeling, but it wasn't bad either.He only knows that he needs this feeling now, it can make him resist the heartbreaking and unwillingness that still rises in his heart from time to time, and it can remind him to face the inescapable reality before him.

He can compromise and accept, but it is impossible to be happy and happy.

The author has something to say: You have some complaints about Shen Mi always remembering the past. My opinion is that memories are necessary, especially when you need to see the way you are going. Only by seeing the way you came can you be clear about your journey Only by following the trajectory of the future can you see clearly what you need in your heart when you take every step, and you can take the next step towards the future according to your current inner needs.

In a sense, growth is a process of recognizing the past, clarifying the present, and seeing the future clearly.Not only Shen Mi, but Mr. Zhuo will also summarize and face himself in the same or different ways in the following texts, so as to find the way to the future.

The author loves Mr. Zhuo and Shen Mi very much, and has projected a lot of his own views on love and growth on them.The same is true for Mr. Meng and Jiang Mi.Love can make people grow, and growth is also the guarantee for us to create a mature and complete love. :)