Temporary mark

================================ Shen Fang and Xie Jinghan spent a leisurely New Year's Day holiday in Jiangcheng, and finally missed Embark on the flight back to the capital.

The air ticket was bought by Xie Jinghan, first class, and there is a fixed passage, Shen Fang gained insight again.

The first-class seat was relatively spacious, Shen Fang rested his arm on the armrest, leaned on his chin to read the book in Xie Jinghan's hand, and said: "Young Master Xie was very wronged by taking the economy class when you came here."

Master Xie pinched the tip of his nose, the old god was reading his book, Shen Fang always liked to call him Master Xie or Mr. Xie narrowly, he was used to it, just ignore him, otherwise Shen Fang would work harder Son.

Xie Jinghan was reading Camus's "The Stranger". Shen Fang accompanied him to read two pages and said, "Actually, I like Sartre more than Camus."

Xie Jinghan raised his eyebrows, pulled the blanket that had slipped on his back to his shoulders, and asked with great interest, "Why?"

"Actually, I don't like to discuss this very much. When discussing philosophical issues, I always go into the ditch." Shen Fang held Xie Jinghan's hand on his shoulder, thought for a while, and said: "Sartre and Camus believed that the world is absurd and life is painful—hey, I’m just talking nonsense, I don’t like Sartre more, but I agree with Sartre’s way more.”

Xie Jinghan closed the book, leaned against the back of the chair, gently stroking Shen Fang's hair with his fingers, and looked at Shen Fang who was frowning and thinking seriously with a smile.

"Camus's way of facing nothingness is to resist. He understands that failure is inevitable, so he accepts darkness, despises reality, and recognizes that life has no meaning and hope, so he can not be restricted by grand goals and hopes, and refuse moral kidnapping. Live in the moment." Shen Fang said: "But Sartre is more active, life has no hope and meaning, but the moment you recognize this reality is the moment of awakening, we can act and create our own hope."

After Shen Fang finished speaking, he paused for a few seconds, pouted his face in embarrassment, and said, "I don't seem to understand clearly."

"I understand." Xie Jinghan touched the end of Shen Fang's hair with his fingers, pinched Shen Fang's chin, and said, "Probably one of them is trying to live in the present, and the other is pursuing hope with pain."

"Yes," Shen Fang clapped his hands, "I just want to express that."

"Little boy, I actually didn't expect that you would discuss Camus and Sartre with me one day." Xie Jinghan smiled and said, "You will get sleepy after reading fantasy novels in high school."

Shen Fang smiled embarrassedly, held Xie Jinghan's fingers to play with, and said, "Did you see the books on the bookshelf when you were sleeping in my room?"

Xie Jinghan paused, "I see, I didn't expect you to take the book back."

"I took all the things you left on the seat with me when you left." Shen Fang's voice sank: "I just wanted to think about it, but I didn't know why I calmed down, and then I started reading the books you left behind." .”

Shen Fang raised his face and smiled at him, "Don't talk about you, in fact, I never thought that one day I would discuss this with you."

He leaned forward and kissed Jinghan's dimples, "What about you?" His voice was soft: "Do you like Camus or Sartre?"

"I can't say who I like more." Xie Jinghan hugged his shoulders and said: "There is no absolute, most of the time I look at it from the perspective of the two, and maybe life will be clearer."

"God, brother Han." Shen Fang said: "We discussed philosophy so well, it has risen to life."

The two of them started laughing at the same time, and they didn't know which tendon they were pulling. Shen Fang felt a little weak at the end of the laugh. Put on earplugs for him, and the service is more attentive than the flight attendant.

The plane landed at the Capital Airport, and their leisurely vacation came to an end.Xie Jinghan was so busy that he couldn't see anyone, and Shen Fang recovered the hospital's laboratory and ran around. After a week of busy work, the two of them didn't have much time to get together for a meal.Two days before the onset of fever, Shen Fang encountered an emergency on the night shift, and followed his instructor into the operating room. When he came out, it was already three o'clock in the middle of the night. He turned on his mobile phone, and Xie Jinghan made 27 calls.

Shen Fang was dizzy, and put his hands on the wardrobe for a few seconds. He hurriedly shook his hands to call Xie Jinghan back, full of self-blame and anxiety, thinking how could he forget to send Xie Jinghan a message in advance? .

Shen Fang met Xie Jinghan on the chair outside the corridor of the department.

The man was wearing a gray coat and a three-piece suit, arched his back, put his elbows on his knees, and buried his face in his palms tiredly. Hearing Shen Fang's footsteps, he raised his head to look at Shen Fang, and said in a gentle voice :"finished?"

Shen Fang stood in front of him helplessly and said sorry.

Xie Jinghan smiled helplessly, as if he was blaming him for apologizing for this incident.He opened his arms and held Shen Fang in his arms.

Shen Fang leaned against him, closed his eyes, and leaned on his shoulder, like a tired bird returning to the forest, exhaustion and darkness swept over Shen Fang, the incandescent lamp above his head was shining brightly, and the familiar smell of disinfectant in the hospital lingered Between the breaths of the two, Shen Fang hugged Xie Jinghan quietly and listened to the whereabouts of snowflakes for 10 minutes.

Xie Jinghan got into the car with Shen Fang who was half awake and half dreaming on his back. At 03:30, only the lonely lights were on at the Medical University. Xie Jinghan took off his coat and covered Shen Fang, started the car and returned to Nanjin.

There was a 24-hour convenience store on the road. Xie Jinghan went in and bought a few packs of quick-frozen dumplings. They hadn’t returned to Nanjin for a week, and there was no one else except the hourly workers who came to clean the house regularly. There might not be instant food in the refrigerator.

It was already 04:30 when we returned to Nanjin, and the sky began to light up. When Xie Jinghan hugged Shen and got off the car, he felt his glands, and the temperature was a little hot; he didn't dare to let Shen Fang take a bath, and both of them rushed in casually. Down, and then down the stairs with a clean and tired body.

The dense heat drifted away, Shen Fang took the bowl, and leaned on Xie Jinghan to watch the dumplings he had fished up. The morning sun shone through the clouds, the living room was half-lit, Shen Fang rubbed Xie Jinghan's shoulder, dumbfounded The voice said, "Too tired to even kiss."

Xie Jinghan showed his dimples, tilted his head and kissed Shen Fang, and said, "It's okay, I will kiss you."

The quick-frozen dumplings came out of the pan, the table in the restaurant was really too big, the two of them didn't want to be so far away, they sat cross-legged on the small table facing each other, taking advantage of the early morning sunshine; the dumplings were made of shrimp and fresh meat, Shen Fang might be too hungry, so he ate them all in a row I didn't feel tired after dozens of them.

It was only at the end of the meal that the speed slowed down. Shen Fang drank the soup, touched the glands on the back of his neck, and said, "Brother, my fever period has arrived."

Xie Jinghan hummed, he has been busy these few days to catch up with the progress of work, just to spare time during Shen Fang's fever period.

"Are you ready?" Shen Fang hooked Xie Jinghan's ankle with bare feet, and said, "Brother, at least four days, can you do it?"

"Can I do it, don't you know?" Shen Fang's feet were too cold, and Xie Jinghan clamped them with his knees. His body was like a stove all year round, and it was just right for Shen Fang to keep warm.

Shen Fang didn't eat any more after eating twenty, and scooped the rest into Xie Jinghan's bowl for him to deal with.Both of them were exhausted, and after Shen Fang dropped the bowl, his only thought was to go to bed and sleep; Xie Jinghan called Li Tezhu to explain the work of the past few days again, and asked Yang Cheng to coordinate the cleaning time of the hourly workers, Then go to bed after preparing the things you need during the fever period.

The heavy curtains blocked all the light, Shen Fang was still curled up under the quilt because it was too cold, as soon as Xie Jinghan approached, Shen Fang automatically rolled into his arms to find warmth, the two of them huddled together and hugged each other Into dreamland.

When Shen Fang woke up, he still couldn't tell whether it was day or night. The back of his neck was burning, and the concentration of white rum and tuberose in the air was too high, making him limp as if drunk.Shen Fang was hugged and kissed by Xie Jinghan, his white arms wrapped around Xie Jinghan, and he called out to her husband in a low voice.

Dreams and ups and downs, flower seas and glaciers, flowing water like liquid honey, with the soft love, Shen Fang is drawn into the depths, he is like a crumbling stamen, and like flowers and leaves wet by rain; Shen Fang Passed through the first febrile period after differentiation without using inhibitors, tyranny and tenderness coexist, he can be one with Xie Jinghan, or can belong to himself alone; Shen struggles in pain and joy in tears, Xie Jinghan, who gave him everything, came to him across seven years. At this moment, they released the shackles that trapped each other.

The leaves of the tuberose were hanging down, the sun warmed the bedroom with snowy light, Xie Jinghan stepped on the carpet with bare feet, the next second, the man lowered his head and pressed his face against him, the cold water vapor After brushing off Shen Fang's dry heat, Xie Jinghan said, "What do you want to eat?"

Shen Fang didn't have much strength, his voice was hoarse, and there was nothing to see through his body, as if he had suffered some kind of abuse.Shen Fang turned over and put his face against the back of Xie Jinghan's hand, rubbed it slightly, and said, "Lie down with me for a while."

Xie Jinghan sat down with him obediently after eating and drinking, of course, Shen Fang leaned against him and said, "Why don't you enter the genital cavity?"

Xie Jinghan rubbed his narrow waist and said, "You have plans to study for a Ph. D., it's too early to have children."

Shen Fang was silent for a few seconds before saying, "I can't conceive a child." His eyes were a little red, and he kissed Xie Jinghan's stubbled chin, and said, "My differentiation is too late, my genitals are not fully developed, and I can't conceive pregnant."

"That's not good." Xie Jinghan couldn't see his pitiful appearance, and coaxed him: "Why are you crying, haven't you cried enough?"

Shen Fang didn't know why he was always weak and dependent in front of Xie Jinghan. His independence and decisiveness seemed to be shattered by Xie Jinghan's tenderness and ruthlessness. Shen Fang hugged Xie Jinghan's neck and cried silently, crying almost Out of breath, he called out his name carefully.

Xie Jinghan hugged him like a child crying to the point of collapse, and gently patted Shen Fang's back, "I never thought I could be a father." Xie Jinghan took out a soft wet tissue to wipe him Tears, "Little boy, when I was young, I didn't think I would embark on a normal life path, meet someone I like, get married and have children. This kind of life is too far away and unrealistic for me. It has never been in my life. within the selection range."

"I want to get married now and have a family with you, all because of you, do you understand?" Xie Jinghan gently kissed his eyes, his patience with Shen Fang is probably infinite and never exhausted. "Besides, childbearing is too harmful to Omega, and I don't want you to suffer. I don't care if I have children."

Shen Fang calmed down in his warm comforting voice. He looked at Xie Jinghan with red eyes and said, "Then if I can get pregnant, won't you have a child?"

Xie Jinghan smiled. He held Shen Fang's face in his hands, rubbed his nose tip to nose tip, and said, "Babe, don't you understand? It's all because of you."

"The premise of everything I love is you. So only you can, only you can." The sun suddenly brightened at this moment, Xie Jinghan's whole body was shrouded in a warm halo, and Shen Fang was dazzled by him. Yes, he heard Xie Jinghan's voice, that cold voice was so soft at the moment, countless loves rushed to him at this moment, Xie Jinghan was saying to him, I love you.

[The author has something to say: The content of Camus and Sartre is just my very, very superficial knowledge. If you are interested, you can read their works. 】