Accumulate feathers sink the boat

"I can only put it here," Lu Xiangzhou, who caught up with him, whispered from behind, "He was too young at that time, and he hadn't formed yet. I also forgot to ask the doctor to save the tissue for me before the operation. When I was looking for a place to put it, I couldn't find anything. There are regulations in the cemetery, and the dead without ashes are not allowed to occupy the cemetery, so I thought... I don't think there are any big ones, but there should be one for the small ones, so hard work A trip in the world, without seeing the light, you must see me no matter what..."

"Xiang Zhou..."

Gong Yu's voice was choked with sobs, his eyes were deep purple red, there was a lot of sadness, and there was more and more pain, crawling along the red blood vessels on the eyeballs to the heart little by little.

"But I don't know if he is willing...whether he is willing to stay here, if he is willing to meet the person who abandoned him..."

"He—he doesn't know so much, the child doesn't know so much, Xiang Zhou, he really doesn't know anything!"

"But I know, I know, Gong Yu! I thought over and over again, if it's a boy... an Alpha, then he won't feel that his father didn't want him because of his gender, and he might be strong too Point, yes...be braver, I write Shizi...I write Shizi because I'm really afraid that he's a little girl, if it's a squishy Omega, what should I do? How can I be like this To a little girl?!"

The tears that I haven't seen for a long time fell on the ground drop by drop. Gong Yu knew that he hadn't seen Lu Xiangzhou cry for a long time, but now he was crying so much... His tears made Gong Yu feel this sadness again, this broken face , I see him clearly every day, in his mind, in his heart, in the nightmare that he never wakes up day after day.

"But it's not your fault, Xiang Zhou!" Gong Yu finally yelled out the words, "It's not your fault, what Beta wouldn't want a child? I've been a doctor for so many years , I have never seen a Beta before, so cruel that I said no to the child already in my stomach. I forced you, you looked at me, I forced you, it's not that you are unworthy, but I am unworthy! You put your child here and feel guilty towards him every day, but have you ever thought that you are not the one who should really apologize?!"

"But...but I was the one who should protect him the most, I—"

"You're protecting him!" Gong Yu's voice began to tremble, he gasped and kept breathing to make himself look calmer, at least calmer than Lu Xiangzhou, "Why did you bring the child to me before?" I have thought about it many times. After you left, I have been thinking every day, thinking that if you were persistent enough and insisted on giving birth to this child, what would he get? Will I focus on my family because of this? Will you Will he be happier because of it? Will he grow up like other children under the care of his parents when he was young, and have everything he wants to have?"

"He can't, Lu Xiangzhou! He even...he may even have to start thinking from a very young age, before he knows where he came from, why the world is so big, why his father doesn't love him, why Every day there are so many things that are [-] times more important than himself, he may even think, miss you, why is this father who gave birth to him and raised him so unimportant, so unimportant that even the most basic care and care Didn't help him get it?"

"What can I do? You have been waiting for me for so long and you must know best. The me before...that kind of me is impossible to change just because I suddenly have a child! I have never... All the time before I divorced, I never thought about how you need me, and I never knew what kind of attitude I can live besides work..."

"Then do you know now? Why do you know now? Couldn't you have known earlier? Two years earlier, two years earlier, nothing would have happened!"

Lu Xiangzhou, who said he would not let Gong Yu cry, cried himself into tears. He shook the child's thin candlestick. Gong Yu could only use all his strength to hold her in his arms, so that he could barely, barely calm down. Trembling in pain.

"I'm sorry...I don't know now..." Gong Yuduo hoped that he could be eloquent, have a brilliant tongue, and be able to wipe away Lu Xiangzhou's regrets with a few simple sentences, but he couldn't, he doubted that he would never will have this skill.

"I don't know what else to do for you, I don't know what you need, I don't know what to do to make you as happy as before you met me. I really... I really feel powerless, I don't have anything I am willing to do for you, I am willing to do anything for you, even if you want me to die, I can do it now if you want me to die! But are these useful? What behavior can really make nothing happen in this world, let Is the baby born smoothly? Xiang Zhou...you have tried your best to do the best within your ability, it's me...I left too many gaps, too many debts, so much that I will make up for it in a few lifetimes no..."

"Your fault?" Lu Xiangzhou wiped away tears abruptly, "Okay, even if it was your fault, what should I do now, what will I do in the future, I can no longer have children, from now on I will be a A useless person, a useless person!"

"Lu Xiangzhou! What are you talking about!!" Gong Yu realized that he was actually angry, he was angry at the person he had hurt the most, "What is a cripple? Do you know what a cripple is?! You Beta and Omega are alive Is the purpose just to have children? Have you read so many books for nothing?!! Before you become a Beta or an Omega, you are a person first, and the value you have as a person is [-] times higher than the value you have as a Beta. [-] million Times!"

"What is it to have a child? Ah?! I ask you what is it to have a child! You know so many things, history, literature, philosophy, you can take classes, there are so many students who like it, your vision is broad and your thinking is active, and... still You have a good literary talent that I can’t have in my life, that’s your value!!! That’s your most precious value as a person!!!”

"Why do you want to kidnap yourself with childbirth? Why do you want to eliminate all the shining humanity and judge yourself with only one biological characteristic?? Let me tell you, Lu Xiangzhou, having a child is like cooking, driving, or swimming. It’s just a skill, is it shameful not knowing how to cook? Isn’t it shameful not being able to drive? Or if you can’t swim, you’ll be drowned if you stand here now?!”

"Miya Yu..."

The barrage of questioning directly blinded Lu Xiangzhou. He raised his face from Gong Yu's arms in a daze, and started whimpering again. The tears mixed with sobs made his breathing intermittent, and he couldn't tell how long it had been. , he finally said the second half of his sentence.

"So it means... means you think I'm fine, even if—"

"There is no even, what kind of even is this? You have always been the best, the best and best Beta I have ever seen. It is me who is bad, and I am the one who made mistakes. I am not worthy of you. I am not worthy of children , none of you should suffer for me."

"Oh..."

Being pressed on his chest for a long time made several crooked marks appear on Lu Xiangzhou's face, coupled with the wet tears, he looked aggrieved and pitiful.

"Then you want to put your name on the sign?"

"what??"

Gong Yu thought he heard it wrong, and he didn't care to wipe away the tears for Lu Xiangzhou, so he grabbed Lu Xiangzhou's wrist to ask again.

"I said," Lu Xiangzhou took a deep breath and held back the tears that had just reached his eyes, "I said, do you want to add your name on the baby's sign? Look at other people, there are both parents. His name, he doesn't have it, how pitiful it is."

For about two or three minutes, Lu Xiangzhou thought that Gong Yu was unwilling, because he didn't react at all after hearing this, he just looked at himself blankly, as if thinking that such a proposal was a fantasy.

But after a while, really just for a while, before the tears on Lu Xiangzhou's face had time to evaporate in the scorching heat, Gong Yu's tear glands, which had been holding back, suddenly snapped, accompanied by violent chest heaves, which scared Lu Xiangzhou into thinking He fell ill again.

"Hey, wait a minute! Why did you promise me before you came? Did you agree not to cry! Hold back!"

"I...I...I cried because I saw you cry..."

Lu Xiangzhou, who had finally gotten rid of it with great difficulty, was now pushed back into his arms by Gong Yu, but now the trembling person was replaced, Lu Xiangzhou's head was pressed on his shoulder and then shook, like sitting in a rocking chair.

"Oh, it's okay, I didn't want to cry, I wanted to talk to you about this matter... I'm so annoying, don't wipe your tears on my clothes!! My clothes are new!!"

Complaining and struggling are all useless, Gong Yu's arms are like a big lock, once Lu Xiangzhou enters, he will be locked firmly, and the key to the lock may not exist at all, Gong Yu closed his hands just to let Lu Xiangzhou go again no.

"Thank you...Xiang Zhou, thank you Xiang Zhou, I never thought...I really...I thought...I thought this life was over and there was no chance...Why did you Save me! Why are you so nice!"

"Yeah...I was thinking about it too..."

He was about to be strangled to death by Gong Yu, so Lu Xiangzhou had no choice but to press his hands tightly against his chest, trying to make room for himself: "I will probably live a long life, and if I accumulate such great virtues, even a Bodhisattva will be moved." .”

"You are a Bodhisattva, you...Xiang Zhou, what virtue can I do!! I really...I will always owe you in this life! I will owe you in the next life!"

"Just owe me?" Lu Xiangzhou finally used his fist and arm to pry Gong Yu away a few inches like a kitten being raped, "Do I forgive you just to make you owe me?"

"No... no, of course not, you want me to love you..."

"Xiang Zhou, I will always love you."