Mighty and Majestic Concubine Wan Gui

According to the above document, the minister Ji Heng stood on the boat and waited for an order: "Your Majesty! The first battle has been won!" Because of seasickness, I was a little nauseous and tried not to look at the water. When I looked up, I saw the window on the second floor of the painting boat opened, revealing a small black and red Round face, the little round face was wearing bright yellow clothes, stretched out his hand and greeted vigorously: "Come up and talk."

So the eunuch on the painting boat set up a springboard for him, Ji Heng felt bitter, and tremblingly climbed onto the painting boat.This ten-foot-long, two-foot-wide, two-story-high painting boat is really stable, floating in the middle of the sea, as stable as flat ground.He went up to the second floor with the report in his arms, and smelled the scent of women's makeup as soon as he entered the room. He slightly raised his eyes and saw a red dress behind the screen, and the emperor was holding a net bag in his hand blankly. There is a fish flicking its tail frantically, and sitting next to it is the King Tan wearing a jade-colored Taoist robe, wearing a jade crown on his head, and looking like a fairy.

The emperor looked good and energetic. "My lord, kowtow to see you long live."

The emperor's words were full of anger and joy, and he couldn't hear the occasional cold situation: "Mianli, Ji Qing is flat, and my imperial army has won?"

The fish in his hand was stuffed by Wan Zhen'er, and Wan Niangniang had already hid behind the screen with a flick, and she was able to walk so fast with the ball, which surprised him.

"Yes, Your Majesty, the imperial army rushed all the way to Nanjing, and encountered a group of refugees with tens of thousands of people attacking the county seat. The imperial army won in one fell swoop with extremely low casualties."

The fat face of the emperor smiled and fell off with a croak. The forbidden army sent out by the special meow is 2 people. The [-] well-trained forbidden army carried firearms and strong bows and crossbows to beat [-] refugees, and there were still casualties. What an annoyance!

I'm not good at riding and shooting, because I'm busy with government affairs, you Imperial Army people should be able to win, and it's your duty to win!He snorted unhappily: "Huh, um. Got it."

Ji Heng was not happy in his heart, Mr. Li Xian thought that the emperor was sick, he must be sick from overwork, finally had good news, so he sent it quickly.He walked slowly by himself and sent me to bring it. Why are you unhappy and angry when you see this good news.How long has it been since this group of imperial guards took pictures? Do you expect them to wipe out Kyushu within a month? "Your Majesty, why don't you like it?"

Zhu Jianshen said quietly: "It's been a month before I have this good news. How can I be happy?"

Ji Heng said in his heart that you are not happy, you are so depressed that you took your favorite concubine and beautiful brother to pretend to be sick to swim in the lake!Tomorrow will take up your rest time to hold the sutra feast. I know you want to rest, so that's not the case. The sutra feast will end at noon. "Hearing the voice of the emperor, your illness seems to be fine."

Zhu Jian sniffed deeply, completely silent: "Well, it's okay."

Ji Heng was very angry, and prostrated himself on the ground: "Your Majesty, the government is exhausting, and all the ministers know it, but you can't pretend to be sick anyway!" Think about King Zhou, who made a pair of ivory chopsticks. I am very worried, ivory chopsticks must not match pottery, but bowls made of rhino horn and cups made of white jade.The jade cup must not contain wild vegetables and coarse grains, it can only be matched with delicacies from mountains and seas.After eating delicacies from mountains and seas, they no longer want to wear rough kudzu shorts and live in thatched huts, but want to wear beautiful clothes, ride in Chinese cars, and live in high-rise buildings.

The minister is also very worried now that the emperor has learned to pretend to be sick and skip work. Maybe now he pretends to be sick for a day, and it will gradually develop into not going to court for a few days and indulging in sensuality.Since you are indulging in sensuality, you can't cut down on food and enjoyment. You have to eat delicious food and enjoy beauties singing and dancing.The way of a virtuous monarch is that there is no beginning, but there is an end.

Zhu Jianshen was full of surprise and grievance: "What? No. I was really sick this morning. Just now King Tan prayed for me, and the way of reciting mantras is better."

Ji Heng pointed out the flaws in these words: "Your Majesty, since you occasionally feel cold, why are you boating on the lake? Doesn't this lake wind aggravate your condition?"

Zhu Jianshen said: "The imperial doctor said no. And... I need to breathe, the warm wind on the lake is so pleasant, huh." It was almost said that Sister Wan wanted to fish, so I can't say it, I can't say it, it's not good.

King Tan said slowly: "The clever man works but the wise man worries, and the incompetent man has nothing to ask for. He is full of food and travels, but he is like a boat that is not tied to him, and he travels in vain. I want to fish alone, what's wrong? Can't I?"

Ji Heng moaned and said, "When did King Tan start alchemy?"

Zhu Jianji took a sip from his teacup, and said with a sneer, "Most of the outer alchemy techniques belong to the evil way. The lonely king cultivates the inner alchemy and charms. Those who don't know are not to blame. Don't talk nonsense in the future." Why, your tone is so so Look down on alchemy, I'm not bragging, if I practice a elixir, you will die if you take it!Crane top red stewed mercury, stewed into balls and sprinkled with a layer of powder of heartbroken grass, if you don't die after eating, I will let sister fox scare you to death at night.oops.

Hu Shisanniang, who was pulling fish, 'seeed' his thoughts, annoyed and funny, and swiped him with her big tail.

The fish in Zhu Jianshen's hand frantically flicked its tail and slapped the table. The fish was caught in a net bag. He was holding the pole of the net bag. In case the fish caught himself, he held the end of the pole and kept as far away from the net bag as possible. In one section, due to the principle of leverage, holding the net bag like this will make a fish weighing four catties weigh more than ten catties. His hands trembled tiredly: "Take it, let's take it to the kitchen and cook it."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

Ji Heng paid homage again: "Please, Your Majesty, make every effort to govern and don't indulge in pleasure."

Zhu Jian exhaled deeply: "I know, step back." Last time it was you who asked me to take a concubine, this time it was you, I was obviously sick, and it was because you said I was pretending to be sick because I recovered too quickly, oh, I was so angry .Lying on the window, looking out through the crack of the window, I saw Ji Heng boarded the boat, and the boat wobbled away.He immediately turned his head and grabbed his younger brother's hand: "Ji Ji, they are slandering me!"

"Yeah, that's too much."

"Can you make me sick again?"

"..."

"Can you?"

"Uh, I haven't learned how to curse people to get sick."

Zhu Jianshen stroked his chin and thought: "Well, then I'll go back and take a shower and stand in front of the ice for a while. I'm not bragging. I'm an expert at making myself sick."

Wan Zhen'er came out from behind the screen Shi Shiran: "Jian Shen, don't be like this, let's go back and ask the imperial physician, they must have a solution."

"well said!"

So they ate steamed fish, West Lake vinegar fish, sauce-roasted fish, fried fish, grilled fish on the painting boat, served with sweet-scented osmanthus glutinous rice and lotus root, water chestnut scrambled eggs, cold lotus root slices and other lake delicacies, and Shi Shiran returned to Qianqing Palace.

Find the doctor. "My illness recovered too quickly. They didn't believe that I was ill, and suspected that I was faking illness. Oh, what can you do to make people look sick?"

The imperial physicians looked at each other and quickly provided a bunch of prescriptions. 'After drinking this, the voice will become hoarse. Chen used this to pretend to be sick when he was a child. It is a unique secret recipe. ''The sachet made out of this formula will keep shedding tears and snot, and my wife uses this when mourning for others. ''This sachet can make people sleep peacefully, and people in the world call it Mongolian sweat medicine. '

Zhu Jianshen was overjoyed, ignoring Wan Zhen'er rolling around laughing beside him: "Well, well, reward, reward!"

The historian squatting in the corner recorded the whole incident, and kept a low-key silence.

The next day, the official holiday date.

Wan Zhen'er solemnly put on a gold silk topknot and a full set of ruby ​​hair. Although the empress dowager prefers emerald green hair, she has a simple aesthetic view - red!Be shiny!Be big!This set of big rubies and big golden pearls looks much better than Diancui!She also put on a bright red gold-woven unicorn gown with sleeves, matched it with a royal blue wreath-patterned horse-face skirt, and applied makeup on her face.

A flash of surprise flashed in Zhu Jianshen's eyes: "Sister Wan, why are you dressed like this? It's going to be very hot! You've been behind the screen and can't show your face."

"I know." Wan Zhen'er smiled secretly, and bowed tenderly: "I just want the emperor to see how my wife looks like now, does it look good~"

"It's so beautiful! It's delicious!" Zhu Jian raised the wine bowl affectionately—the rippling water in the bowl was medicine that can make people hoarse, and he drank it down with Sister Wan's beauty. , Want to vomit, spit, pee, pee, feel uncomfortable from the inside out, the expression on his face has changed.

Picking up the purse again and smelling it, she immediately began to sneeze wildly, shedding tears, struggling to reach out her hand: "My concubine... I... I have been poisoned."

Wan Zhen'er walked over with her stomach in her hands, her brows slightly frowned: "See you~...you have leeks between your teeth."

"Oh." The emperor hurriedly took the toothpick to handle the instrument.

You can still mess around at this time, but when you go to Kangning Palace to pick up the rosy Queen Mother Zhou, you won't be able to speak.

The Jingyan is very cool. The minister can sit opposite the emperor, put the lesson plans brought on the table, and talk about the topic he has drawn up.The ministers can also sit and listen.

There are two tall screens lined up behind the emperor, one is a golden screen made of rosewood inlaid with golden silk and nanmu heart, which belongs to the Queen Mother Zhou.

On the other side are the six pictures of figure painting screens, "Avalokitesvara Sending a Child", "Kuixing Dot", "Toad Palace Winning Laurels", "Three British War Rubles", "Cup of Wine and Soldiers' Power", and "I Can't Guess It".In the sixth picture, Wan Zhen'er didn't guess it. In fact, a tiger and a leopard were pulling a cart down the mountain. An old man was sitting in the cart. There was a fallen ancient tree at the foot of the mountain. It was written "Pang Juan died here" , is a combination of Ghost Valley Down the Mountain and Sun Pang's battle of wits.

The emperor's face was not very good-looking, his eyes were red, and when he entered the Huagai Hall, facing the bowing courtiers, he suddenly stopped, turned around, took a few pieces of paper, and blew his nose.He walked over with a dizzy look, and when he spoke, his voice was hoarse: "Ping body."

Li Xian stared at Ji Heng, you boy can be trusted to tell me that the emperor is pretending to be sick, is this pretending to be sick?He quickly began to talk: "The source is not deep, but the stream is far away, the root is not solid, but the tree is long, the virtue is not strong, but the security of the country is not strong. Although the minister is stupid, he knows it can't be done, so how can he be wise? A man should be a king. The weight of the artifact, the size of the domain, will surpass the height of the sky..."