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I began to soften my heart, although I always thought that I had no heart.So when Xiao Ling and those bastards tortured me and asked me if my body hurt more than my heart, I couldn't answer.

I am a person without a "heart", and I am not actually a "human" at all...but now when I see this child with a golden aura radiating from his body, I suddenly realize the "heart" of this physical body. "Come on, this should be the impression given to me by the guy who was supposed to be "Yin Yu"...

"He" was telling me to protect a child...

perhaps……?

Although this "he" is so illusory that I can't make up for my debts...

"Suqian, would you like to study abroad?" I suddenly blurted out what I wanted to say to another child at the beginning... The thin and small Leng Suqian reminded me of a little beggar I met when I was fleeing. I once made such a promise to him when I was at my worst...

"Is it possible to stop being with that person after studying abroad?" He asked me hesitantly, and I saw a kind of sentimental emotion flashing across that immature face in the rearview mirror.

"Yes, if you go to study abroad, you will never have to be with that person again." I replied.

"Then... am I the only one?" He changed from the posture with his head down to the one with his head up in the rearview mirror trying to communicate with me, and said eagerly, "Where's my cousin? No Come with me?"

"Cousin won't go, you go by yourself, do you want to?" I coaxed him a little cruelly, "You are a sensible child, right? You don't need cousin or anyone, if you want, you can Being able to take care of yourself..."

I don't know if using this method would be too ruthless for a ten-year-old child, but I found that the soft part of my "heart" can never be absolute...

You should have nothing to do with me, and you have nothing to do with Yin Xiaohong... I silently looked at the distressed little face reflected in the rearview mirror, feeling a little sour. Old man, when I think of Gu Yu's intimacy with this child, I finally understand... these people...

All fucking hell!

and I? ...

Why did I fall into hell...?

Impossible to be reincarnated forever...how did he escape...?

I stared at the little guy in the rearview mirror who was biting his lower lip and was still very distressed. I felt that I was ridiculous. I made promises everywhere. How many responsibilities can I fulfill in the end?Since I have been to hell once, all kinds of evil deeds must be inevitable, why pretend to be a good person!

"cousin……"

After a while, Xiao Leng Suqian spoke. This time, I saw something else in his eyes, not naivety or ignorance, but persistence...

"Will you send me to study abroad and support me?" he asked.

I was amazed at the child's instant growth in attitude, but I know that no matter who they are, under the upbringing of Yin Xiaohong and his group, they will more or less yearn for freedom.So this is why I began to hope that I could at least give others a chance to be free?

"Cousin will pay for your education and all your expenses outside until you grow up and be able to take care of yourself." Almost without thinking, I made the promise again, but I didn't know I don't have the ability to keep cashing in, because there is still a sentence I haven't said.That is... if I live forever...

"Then my cousin will be my brother from now on?"

"Yes, it will be like your own brother in the future."

Why?Why do I do this, and promise this?What is worse than inaction is making promises that cannot be fulfilled. I know this clearly, and I also know that I am not a person who can guarantee my own stability...

but why?When I made these promises, I began to reflect on myself for the first time at the same time, and I found that I was not only a cowardly and incompetent waste, but also a shameless liar...

……

A week later, with the help of Zhao Boyang and some friends, my "cleaning company" carried out decoration and external recruitment. At the same time, when all this was busy, I asked my friend to find a school abroad and welcome Xiao Leng Suqian. All the host families have also been contacted. Perhaps, there is still no fundamental change in this world. Thanks to the blessing of this body, I used the rights and contacts that should not belong to me to step out of a world that may make a person The first step in a child's disappointment.If there is no hope, there will be no disappointment. What I am worried about is that I gave him hope and finally let him fall into despair...

After going back to my hometown for two consecutive days and dealing with the group of relatives who didn't want to see me, Yin Xiaohong was relieved and willing to let Xiao Leng Suqian go, but I know that the power of the nightmare lies in just giving a chance to breathe Then I will intensify my efforts to get it back... How long can I maintain my promise and responsibility?Maybe one day I will die, or the owner of this physical body will come back and knock me out... At that time, who will protect this child?

Why should he face these unknown ups and downs?My sense of guilt swept over again...

The moment I sent Xiao Leng Suqian to the plane, I refused the hug of this child who exuded the light like a child of God. I watched him being led to the boarding gate by the ground staff, and stood in the waiting room for a long time, unable to move.

My cruel selfish bastard!demon!I began to curse at myself for my stupid behavior. For this little child, this line of work can only face more...

I don't think I will ever forget the little back who left with tears in his eyes, doubts and fear in his eyes...

A drizzle of rain fell in the sky, I walked out of the airport, sat in the car and lit a cigarette, I have not touched these harmful things for a long time, because I realized that I am not entitled to this No matter how much the body persecutes.I can abuse myself, but this body is not mine...

Looking at the bandages wrapped around my hands, I feel extremely bad. I have committed a crime again, and I am destined to leave a scar on the body that is not my own...

"Hey! Savunin!"

A voice so sweet that it made me sick suddenly sounded from the back seat. When did she get in the car?

"I've been in your car all the time~"

As expected, she guessed all my thoughts and solved my doubts in advance.

"Let's go, dear Savunin~ I didn't expect you to be such a...'caring person'~ Sending unrelated children out of the sea of ​​suffering...I feel great, don't I?"

Her voice was the same as before, making me numb and ache like an electric shock...

"Now, drive." The muzzle of her gun finally reached the back of my head.

I kept silent and started the car. After everything was on the normal track, the gun was put away immediately. I was a little distracted and looked at the empty road ahead. I really wanted to end the two of us in a car accident. life.But I can't, because her life belongs to her, and mine doesn't belong to me...

"I miss you so much, Savunen~" Her tone was full of teasing.

"Don't call me that." I felt displeased, "Why do you dare to come back to me?"

"Because I miss you! Don't you miss me?" She pretended to be wronged, and leaned over. I smelled the familiar fragrance, and suddenly realized that I was like a pet dog that was used to being kept in captivity. At this moment, I feel at ease and full of anticipation...

"During the time when Xiao Ling locked you up, that little girl Wen Jie watched your miserable situation in front of the monitor every day, even watching while eating popcorn~ You can't even get angry about this, why can't you forgive me? ?”

"Because I'm also a dignified person!" I yelled out unbearably, anger and anxiety swept my whole body, I slammed on the brakes, and the car slid to a side by the roadside fence. Fortunately, there was no one coming and going .

"Huh?" She smiled and stepped next to me. After sitting down, the muzzle of the gun hit me again. This time, it was the temple...

"Do you have dignity?" She asked happily, one hand slipped into my collar...

"Do you have any other tricks?" I let go of my hands and leaned back, squinting at her still beautiful face... disaster... I made a secret evaluation like this.

"Does this trick work for you~ Dear Savunin~"

I should really feel honored, how great it is to be raped by a beautiful woman, and to be raped several times, and more importantly, this beautiful woman is the person I am most obsessed with in my heart...

"My miserable first love..." I sighed, ignoring the threat of the gun's bluff, turned my head to face her, and kissed her...

Let me go to hell!Return this damned body to its original owner!Let this "lucky" guy have a taste of this sweet torment!I began to curse all this viciously, until the farce-like kiss was over, watching her put on the silencer with a smile, and put the gun to my head again with a smile.

"So far, I haven't said anything about your affairs." I calmly looked at her demagogic face even when her life was in crisis, and felt that if I had the qualifications to decide all these things, I would be willing to suffer. die……

"But you will say it sooner or later, it's just a matter of time." She seemed to shake her head regretfully, and looked at me with pity.

"Okay... I admit it..." With a sigh, I relaxed my body and leaned back on the back of the chair, closing my eyes.

"Sorry. Goodbye!" she said.

The endless silence...

Can time really stop?If possible, I hope to stay still at the moment when she said "sorry" to me... Only then did I realize that my psychological dependence has reached such a perverted level.While my consciousness was drifting, I was thinking like this, feeling the feeling of blood and strength gradually leaving me...

I finally lost control of this shell.

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