wall window

Title: Window on the Wall

Author: Van Gogh's Sunshine Coast

Copywriter:

Mu Chenyu, a female teacher, met a 30-year-old female student Pei Fei when she was 13 years old, and her peaceful life caused turmoil.Pei Fei, who lives in a single-parent family, is precocious, warm and sunny, pure and lonely, and unintentionally opens up Mu Chenyu's long-closed heart.This seemingly bright and humorous female teacher is extremely depressed and dark in the depths of her soul. She longs for beautiful same-sex love, but at the same time hesitates about her own wild thoughts. Between reality and dreams, she opens her heart and embraces dreams. love in...

Key words: Lesbian teachers and students forget the year, moonlight waterfront, waves of Lugu Lake, endless dreams

Prologue: The Preface of the Window

一

Darkness is inside the window, and light is outside the window.

The light is in the window, the sun is outside the window.

Inside the window is a trivial life, and outside the window is a spiritual dream.

People inside the window often cry, and people outside the window always laugh.

Desire to go out of the window, because the window is dark; hide the window, because the window is bright.

Everyone has a window that connects the two worlds inside and outside.

I have no windows, I am a window embedded in the wall.Can't get in, can't get out.Half light, half dark, half black, half white.Half asleep and half awake, laughing and crying at the same time.

Like shemale, half male, half female.But he is neither male nor female.

two

"Nose sucker! Why isn't your nose runny today?" Uncle Ning, who has two big vicious dogs at the entrance of the village, makes fun of me every time he sees me.

"****! I'm going to go to the fields to make cattle again today!" Uncle Jin, the neighbor with a loud voice, would curse at people every time he went out.

"Are you a girl? Take off your pants and show uncle." Dad's friend Uncle Jiang blinked at me with a half-smile.

"Hee hee..." A bearded man suddenly stretched out a hand and squeezed my 12-year-old slightly protruding chest.

"Wow! Do you dare to run? Let's chase!..." A group of boys came running from behind, with stones, tiles, fists, feet...

"I like you so much, you must have a bright future, such a quiet and studious girl!" The gentle kindergarten female teacher in the village whispered to me while repairing bricks with me.

"I like chatting with you, you are kind and well-behaved!" The elder sister in the neighboring village looked at me and smiled, and leaned against the corner of the wall to bask in the sun with me.

"Chen Yu, come and have breakfast with us!" The elegant and melancholy Mei in the class called me with a pleasant voice.

I've never been able to figure out if it was my childhood that turned me into someone who was afraid of men liking women, or if it was just me.

three

Outside the window of the dark house where I slept alone, the pomegranate tree and the wind whispered, hoarse and deep.The eyes of the night are stuck on my window, with a strange white light.

Qiu Shaoyun and Huang Jiguang, who were torn out from the children's book, were solemnly pasted under my mosquito net, holding submachine guns in their hands.

Every evening, when I put the chickens and geese in cages, and when I was making dinner, I sang loudly to drive away the shadow that had been following me all the time, and drive away the images it produced that filled my mind .That gray shadow hangs with a gray face in the corner of the living room where my grandmother lay when she died.

I moved the flowers from other people's houses to my window, led the lights from other people's houses to my dark house, and put those girls' beautiful skirts on me, and their beautiful schoolbags were placed by my bedside.

I do this dream.

I flew into the sky and took charge of a huge garden. It was a country where happiness was as much as sunshine, and everyone’s face was as warm and sweet as flowers... I laughed loudly, screamed loudly, jumped hard, and cried happily... ...like a madman.

Because of loneliness and loneliness, I am a born dreamer.

four

I opened my hands and looked everywhere, looking for "love", but it has been hidden in a corner that I can't touch.Whether it's the bright day or the dark night, I'm longing for it to come close to me and embrace me so that I won't hesitate, be lonely, be afraid, or cry , so that I can lean on its arms quietly, warm and safe.

Later, I wandered around with "I love you" in my arms all day long, eager to put it into the hands of the person I like.From morning to night, from girl to adult.

Finally, "I love you" rolled from their hands back into my arms.I held countless "I love you" in my arms, and my heart was so swollen that I had to cry at my barren city.

From the day I came to this world, I miss you, I want to love you, I just want you.I started shouting: where are you?where are you?Where exactly are you-"

"You" is very real, accompanying me every day. "You" is so empty that I never really got hold of you.

Every dawn I wait with hope, waiting for you to come; every dusk and night, I cry with infinite sorrow, why don't you come.It doesn't matter if you don't come, I can find you, but you won't find me either.I run around with my arms flailing, I curl up with "I love you", savoring the "love" of "me" without "you".

Later, I fell in love with the bloody sun and broken walls, fell in love with the wind, rain, storm, lightning and thunder, fell in love with the galloping horses and corpses everywhere, fell in love with shredding and tragedy, shriek and howling, fell in love with the wind in * All the branches were broken in an instant, the sea swallowed the sun and the moon in an instant, the volcanic eruption and lava spewed blood into the sky and the earth, and the tumbling heat wave swept across the universe like a blood-red ocean...

I tore myself piece by piece, strip by strip, burning, bursting, blowing up.

In fact, I can only sit alone in a dark corner forever, revealing the sadness from the depths of my soul.

Because, I am a half-light and half-dark, half-black and half-white, half-dream and half-awake, laughing and crying at the same time, like a shemale, half male and half female, window.

The first part of the sunshine on the tip of the hair [-]. First acquaintance

Part I

I stood in front of the window, looking at the starry sky outside the window, and prayed with my palms together: I wish you a smooth pass in tomorrow's college entrance examination and reach your ideal.The room is filled with the music you gave me—"Moonlight on the Water", your favorite Bandari's music, it has been with me for six years.

Good night, Pei Fei.I love you.

The first part is the sunshine on the tip of the hair

[-]. First acquaintance

That year, due to physical reasons, I left the graduating class of the third year of high school where I had been squatting for many years, and came to the first grade of junior high school.

I thought it would not be too tiring to be in contact with children. It is impossible to touch any sparks of thought and spirit with these immature children.So, it will definitely rule well.But I was wrong.

Things went wrong the first week of school.

"Why is the desk so messy?" I frowned.It's only been a few days since school started, and one of the curtains has been pulled down, and two of the brooms have been broken.The bucket rolled onto the podium, and the desk twisted crookedly, I don't know how awkward it is.

Seeing that I was angry, the group of naughty ghosts did not act like a good boy, but looked at me with a smile, as if they were waiting to see how I would end up, ready to watch a play at any time.

"I like naughty kids, just like you." I said in a cheerful tone.

"Huh?" They looked at each other and looked at me with smug smiles.

"Naughty children are often smarter and active in thinking, and they belong to a group with great potential." I amplified my voice.

Seeing them quiet down, I continued to say: "Our class is the key class in the class, that is, the class with the most plastic talents. In these three years, what kind of person do we plan to shape ourselves into? What kind of person should we make the class be? Where is your home? Let's all have a sweet dream, shall we?"

This group of half-grown children didn't understand what I was going to do, but when it came to dreaming, they really got interested.

"I'll play a piece of music, everyone close your eyes and dream together for 5 minutes, how about it?" I looked at them inquiringly.

"Okay!" There was still music to listen to, and they immediately said in unison.

I took out the USB flash drive I carried with me and plugged it into the computer in the classroom to play Bandari's "Dawn".All the students closed their eyes and entered their world of reverie.

"Okay, let's share our dreams together!" I said happily after 5 minutes.

"I want to be admitted to a provincial key middle school!"

"I want to list the key points!"

"I want to be number one in the whole class!"

"Forget it, I'll give it to you, I want the second!"

"Ha ha ha ha……"

……

"We all have lofty aspirations. Let's make a small change every day, a mid-year change every year, and a big change every three years, okay?" I said, "It's easy to operate if you talk about some specific content."

"I've always failed in my composition. I hope to pass this semester, and I will start my [-] next semester!"

"I don't like English. This semester, I will try my best to cultivate my interest and read more and memorize more."

"I hope to join the school track team."

"I want to take dance classes."

"I want to be the representative of the Chinese department."

Be my Section Representative?I unconsciously looked for the person who said this sentence.It was a girl sitting in the back row, very pretty, with smiles on her eyebrows and her whole face, sunny and refreshing.I couldn't help but smile slightly: This girl is indeed like the representative of the department I want.

"Well, personal dreams are beautiful, and they will all come true! Let's talk about the dreams of our class!"

"Observe discipline, be united and friendly, respect teachers, abide by school rules and regulations, love hygiene..." They immediately began to "endorse".

"Well, make them concrete."

"Students help each other, teachers and students get along well, classrooms are clean and bright, and class property is cared for..."

"Hey hey, teacher, so you are inviting me into the urn!" A boy suddenly yelled.What a clever boy!Other students listened to him say