16 years

Shao Qiu once thought that he would never use these two words to describe Fang Sining again in his life.

But when the words came to his lips, they slipped out so logically, as if he was just stubbornly guarding the lock before, but now he was exhausted, lost his mind for a while, and broke open the gate involuntarily. out.

Shao Qiu's mind was full of business just now, and he searched his brains to scrape out some useful information from his bones, wishing he could even take out his hallucinations, wash them and dry them to find the logical places in them, and wanted to pour out all he knew to Fu delay.

But now, his mind suddenly went blank, only Fang Sining's face remained.

Shao Qiu raised his arm suddenly, and pressed his eyes with his arm.

Recalling carefully, the reunion between him and Fang Sining was not a happy one - when he first met, he felt resentful, everything was business-like, Fang Sining wanted to chat with him several times, but he didn't even give him a good word.

Later, after being kidnapped, he was unconscious for most of the time, and the rest of the time was complicated. He felt that getting along with Fang Sining would remind him of his youth, and he felt even worse about it. During the period, he was not sensitive enough to himself. Self-blame, the taste is not to mention sour.

Calculating carefully, the time he and Fang Sining could talk quietly and peacefully was after Fang Sining explained to him the reason for studying.

...It's a pity that Fang Sining started working for that group of people after that, and the time he came back was limited.

after that--

Shao Qiu couldn't continue, he pressed his forearm tightly against his eyes, gritted his teeth and shivered.

Fu Yan stood up silently, walked to his side and patted his shoulder.

Shao Qiu seemed to have found the backbone in an instant, turned over and sat up on the sofa, hugged Fu Yan, buried him in his clothes, let out a little weeping sound uncontrollably, and began to cry loudly.

"I killed him, captain." Shao Qiu seemed to have returned to his powerless and weak youth in an instant, with his shoulders hunched, holding Fu Yan, as if holding a life-saving straw, he roared uncontrollably: "I killed him, Captain—it was an abandoned factory, I should have thought of a dust explosion!"

Shaoqiu, a boy about 1.8 meters tall, was crying heartbreakingly, his voice was hoarse and low, like an old lone wolf who had torn his throat and was forced to the edge of a cliff.

Fu Yan held his shoulder silently and squeezed it hard.

Outsiders saw that they bleed but did not shed tears, as if they had put on a uniform and tempered them into steel bones, solid people who would not hurt, but closed the door, Fu Yan did not know how many tears he had seen.

When you get older, you have He Tang's hopelessness in a desperate situation, and you have Shao Qiu's life-and-death parting. When you're young, those eighteen or nineteen-year-old soldiers who are homesick have wiped only a few tears on Colonel Fu's clothes. few.

After all, they are all ordinary people with flesh and blood, but they have responsibilities on their shoulders, and they have to grit their teeth and stand straighter than others.

Liu Ruosong couldn't bear to feel that something hurt him, so he sighed long, touched up and down, and finally found half a crumpled tissue and stuffed it to Fu Yan.

Fu Yan pinched his fingertips very briefly, but said nothing.

"I remembered what he said to me at the end." Shao Qiu choked as if he was suffocating: "He said he wasn't for Shao Xuefan."

Shao Qiu closed his eyes in pain, his shoulders bent even further, his tears were scorching hot, and he didn't know how long it took to burn in his heart before they flowed out.

"I regret it, captain." Shao Qiu didn't care whether Fu Yan knew Fang Sining or not, he just said to himself: "He told me the day before that if he went back to choose again, he didn't know if he would think about it. The next best thing is to find another mentor—I didn’t answer that, but I should have said something.”

Shao Qiu took a short breath and shuddered.

"I should have said something," he repeated, muttering.

He was crying so badly that Fu Yan couldn't do anything but be a crying sandbag for him. Liu Ruosong moved from the armrest to Fu Yan's seat and sat down in Fu Yan's place, silently fiddled with the communication device on his wrist. instrument, heartbroken.

It seems that people are like this, no matter how big a mistake they made in life, how much resentment and badness they have, as long as they still have feelings, that person will die like a lamp, and those resentments and injuries seem to disappear with life, leaving only Have a good time.

The deceased is the greatest, saying that everything can be forgiven, but in fact, everything seems so insignificant in front of "Farewell".

People sometimes live in subtle symmetries—and so do emotions.

Love and pain have a high degree of similarity. They are essentially things that worry about gains and losses, never forget, and compare pain and joy.Except for each other, no one in the world can empathize with each other, it is a kind of extremely private tacit understanding.

When people are alive, resentment and accusations have somewhere to go, even if it is such an opposing emotion, there is always someone who can accept it.But if the person is gone, the only person in the world who can understand this pain is also gone.

If there is still a little "remaining love" for the other party, it will be like sparks burning through a haystack, and a raging fire will be ignited in seconds, burning people's hearts until they are depressed, and all the pain and happiness are burned, leaving only regret And unwilling to come.

Either you regret not "cherishing the people in front of you", or you are unwilling to "the world is impermanent", and you can't escape one of the two.

Liu Ruosong sighed again in his heart, feeling a little sad and unbearable.

Fang Sining was obviously sincere towards Shao Qiu, but precisely because of this, the fire he set off was particularly lethal.

The gap of "Farewell" is in front of him, and all emotions have become colorless luxury goods. The only person in the world who can truly understand and share his pain is gone. Liu Ruosong suddenly feels that this is essentially nothing to do with pain. Losing a loved one is no different.

Fu Yan held the half piece of paper in his hand, and couldn't find a space to drop it for a long time. In the end, Shao Qiu was tired from crying, and suddenly his head tilted, and he fell heavily, being caught by Fu Yan.

Liu Ruosong came up to help him support Shao Qiu from left to right, laid him flat on the sofa, and pulled out a quilt from the cabinet to cover him.

Shao Qiu was also restless in his sleep, he turned sideways and curled up almost instinctively, covering half of his face with the quilt.

There were still deep tears on his face, and he sobbed from time to time, looking very pitiful.

"He's too tense, it's good to cry once and sleep." Fu Yan said.

Liu Ruosong hummed, walked carefully to the window, and helped Shao Qiu close the curtains.

Fu Yan discredited and cleaned up a row of debris on the ground at the door, and threw them into the trash can, and finally took a look into the room, thought about it, and took away the sharp weapon in Shao Qiu's room.

"Not at all." Liu Ruosong said.

"Just in case." Fu Yan said.

He left the room one step behind Liu Ruosong, and gently closed the door.

Brother and sister He Feng and He Tang are on duty today, and they haven't come back yet. The lights in the corridor of the dormitory are not turned on.

Liu Ruosong felt hurt when he touched the scene, thinking about Shao Qiu and Fang Sining, he always felt it was a pity.

"I wish I had been more careful at the time." Liu Ruosong shook his head and said angrily, "I was too careless. I always felt that you were alone last time, so this time the deputy team is fine--I never thought it would happen. There was a kidnapping."

"I don't blame you." Fu Yan stopped, turned to look at him, and said seriously: "People's abilities are limited, no one can save everyone, and I think it's a pity that they missed it, but you can't do it for this. Blame yourself for something."

Liu Ruosong blinked and looked up at him.

"Brother, you don't have to force me to comfort me." Liu Ruosong forced a smile, and said, "I won't go into a corner."

"It's not consolation, I'm telling the truth." Fu Yan stepped forward with a serious expression: "We have performed missions, and we have seen many times of life and death, and it is not perfect every time. To save people, we must do our best and do our best. , Try to do your best, and be worthy of yourself and your responsibilities. But if you’ve done your best, don’t blame yourself for what you didn’t accomplish.”

"If it was me, I didn't expect it to be my fault—but you are not." Fu Yan said, "Because you haven't received systematic training, so you can't think of the assassination in your logical habits. This cannot be blamed on you, because your field of life and strengths are not here. Regardless of whether Shao Qiu is my comrade-in-arms or not, or whether you are my lover, I will say so."

Liu Ruosong remained silent, and after a few seconds, he stretched out his hand towards Fu Yan.

This is a tacit "sign" between the two of them. Liu Ruosong is a sentimental and gentle person. He is easily touched by beautiful things and also easily affected by specific emotions. Occasionally, he needs a "rock" that will never change Come and recharge him.

But Liu Ruosong is an adult man, he can say anything when he is in love, once he really needs comfort, he can't say "you hug me", so he can only "hint" to Fu Yan silently. .

Fu Yan took his hand knowingly, wrapped his arms around his shoulders and waist, and pressed Liu Ruosong into his arms.

"What's more, you are not the only one in the world, but also comrades in arms." Fu Yan said.

Liu Ruosong took a deep breath, feeling that Fu Yan's embrace was really useful, not to mention Shao Qiu, even he felt his heart swell.

He really can't stand this - if Fu Yan comforts him and coaxes him, he can quickly adjust his emotions from the perspective of a "mature man", but Fu Yan is not.

He always judges whether it is correct or not so sternly, it seems very unreasonable, but it is precisely this kind of objectivity and rationality that makes Liu Ruosong feel relaxed.

Shao Qiu cried until the tears on Fu Yan's clothes were still wet, and they were blown cold by the night wind, and slowly permeated Liu Ruosong's body through two layers of fabric.

Liu Ruosong suddenly understood why such a big man like Shao Qiu couldn't help himself when he saw Fu Yan and Fu Yan, and cried without any scruples, neither thinking of face nor losing face.

... With such a silent but seemingly inexhaustible pillar behind him, it is really hard not to feel dependent.

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Hugging is the cure of healing [Only represents personal opinion (bushi)]