That 1 his waist protruded

38

I don't think it's better to be alive than to be dead. If a person really wants to die, I won't stop him.

But a man on the verge of self-help and self-destruction, I can't just ignore.There must be something else wrong with this kid besides lax ligaments.

A 19-year-old boy shouldn't be that thin.I had some guesses in my mind, so I asked him to have lunch with him along the way.

For the first time, I ordered a takeaway from a big restaurant and asked Poe to eat together.The kid couldn't bear to turn me down, but I could tell he didn't want to eat.

I asked him, "How many meals do you usually eat a day?"

The child hesitated for a moment, "One meal, sometimes every two days."

"Why? Is there any difficulty?"

"No, I don't want to eat."

I took Poe's hand, unbuttoned his cuffs, and pushed the sleeves up.There are a row of scars on the inside of his left arm, big and small, old and new.

I tidied up his sleeves in silence, buttoned them up, and asked him, "Have you eaten today?"

He looked at me, his eyes were red again, "No."

"Then can you eat something with me?"

The child grinned, "Okay."

This unlucky kid is really worrying.

There are many poor people in this world, and there are many sensational sufferings, but we cannot say to anyone: "There are many suffering people in this world, look at them, you are nothing."

Everyone's suffering is different, and it doesn't make any sense to compare with others.I don't subscribe to this kind of psychological comfort that doesn't solve any problems.

Although Poe has a childhood and adolescence similar to Zhang Qiushu, his current state is more like me when I was a teenager.

When I was in college, I learned a lot of useful and useless things, and I tried very hard to save myself.So I understand that I can't save anyone, everyone can only save themselves.

Poe ate a meal with me.He ate very little, one sip more than one tael, less than two taels.I only tasted a little of the dishes, but I am not picky.

I told him: "Remember to eat."

Poe smiled sadly, "You're a nice guy."

I think he's about to cry.

39

Zhang Qiushu stayed at my house persistently, lying on my bed, as if he wanted to take root here.

I don't get it, workaholic turned sex?

"Aren't you in a hurry to get back to work?"

Zhang Qiushu replied slowly: "No rush, I'm on annual leave."

Oh, there really is him.

"Are those people who came here to bother you recently?"

"There are fewer sightseeing groups. For example, today, there is only one leg hit by a motorcycle."

The man who had been hit by a motorcycle was wearing gold-rimmed glasses and a slim-fit shirt and trousers, and he was walking with a limp.When surrounded by today's sightseeing group, I was quite ashamed and blushed.

The legs of his trousers couldn't go up, so he had to take off his outer pants.Now his face was even redder, and he didn't know if he was being watched by the crowd or me.

The trauma had scabbed over, and his knee was still a little swollen, and he didn't dare to bend his knee, and it still hurt.

I gave him an ultrasound, and he blushed the whole time looking at me.

There have been fewer sightseeing groups recently, and the number of people who contact me and want to make an appointment has gradually stabilized.For example, this gentle, handsome and blushing guy today didn't even ask for my contact information.

Zhang Qiushu...he had better not know about these things, otherwise he would be jealous.

This dog man is extremely double-standard. He is keen to enjoy other people's admiration, pursuit, and even covetousness. However, once someone is interested in me, he will immediately become nervous, like a hedgehog that suddenly stands up with thorns.

The problem is that he only pierces me with this stab, and he is still the gentle, polite, elegant and considerate Berg to others.Just like when he faced Su Hefeng, he spoke very nicely, and he also thought very clearly intellectually.

——But none of this prevents him from tossing me.

Dog man, heh.

40

After lying down for a long time, Zhang Qiushu was recovered, and it was time to go back to work.I have a week left on my "January appointment" with him.

I carefully wrote a rehabilitation training plan for Zhang Qiushu, printed it out for him, and demonstrated it to him one by one, and prepared to send him back to my home.

Yes, take a taxi to see him off, and I don't have a car.

Zhang Qiushu hugged my pillow and said, "I don't want to sleep well."

The corner of my mouth twitched, "Go away, that's your own home."

"I don't, I already have a deep relationship with this pillow." Zhang Qiushu refused to pack his luggage, and rolled on my bed with my pillow in his arms.

In the end, I insisted on sending him back to his own home, but this bastard took my pillow away, looked at me helplessly and said, "Actually, I want to take you away more."

Go away.

My rent is due at the end of this quarter, so I have to pass this period before considering whether to move in with him or not.

No matter how well maintained, Zhang Qiushu is almost 40 years old.I knew what he meant, he couldn't afford it anymore, he was bowing his head to me.

He is panicking, the person who likes me is younger than me, even younger than him, he is afraid that he will not be able to compete.Many people liked him, but still failed to make him gain confidence.

Between me and him, no one is right or wrong, no one is sorry for anyone, and no one should bow to anyone.I don't want him like this.

41

When Zhang Qiushu met me, I was 24 years old. I had just been out of the society for two years, and I was not a graduate of a prestigious university.

He is 28 years old, has a stable job and a successful career.His annual salary exceeds the lifetime savings of an ordinary wage earner in my hometown.

Poverty limits my imagination.

The young people here eat, drink, and play at a level that I have never seen before.This is not an exaggeration.

My hometown is neither a town nor a village, let alone a mountain, but a small city whose economic development lags behind by more than one or two points.In terms of enjoying life, it is ten years behind such a metropolis that attracts young people to work hard.

I am not gregarious, I don’t have gatherings where I call friends, and I don’t want to go out to play. Everything I see is my parents’ faults.My dad called this learning to live, learning to survive, and then he kept urging me to find a partner.

"You're already 23. If you need to find a partner, you can find someone. You have to live for two years before you get married. Don't make Dad worry about this."

I worked in my hometown for a year, and after passing the professional certification test, I went to the big city without hesitation.My dad was surprised. He was surprised that I stayed in the big city like this.

I am not gregarious, I don’t like to talk, I have no friends, I have no ambition, I am not motivated, and I am not even energetic. In his eyes, it is the virtue of "no tomorrow after today", and I don’t seem to be able to work hard in a big city with fierce competition. young people.

He was right in thinking, knowing a son is like a father, and the most correct point of his judgment is "the virtue of not having tomorrow after today".I was on the verge of not wanting to live, he put a lot of pressure on me, I can't get married, I like men.

Even though I searched and explored how to save myself during college, I was still defeated by the distressed eyes of my old father.