Difficult to return

At the age of 18, Xiaofeng quarreled with his parents because of his transgender issue. The conflict escalated until he severed the relationship and was kicked out.

In order to make a living, he first went to the south with his friends.He did not graduate from high school and had no work experience. He started out as an assembly line worker in a factory.Not to mention the exhausting work, the money is still low, and after working all year round, there is nothing left at all.At this rate, it will take a year of the monkey to save enough money for his surgery.

In order to save enough money as soon as possible, he started MB with the "introduction" of his friend.

It’s true that money is coming in quickly, but it’s also spending quickly.It's like swimming in the sea. When you're in it, you're surrounded by water. When you get up together, the water is still in the sea and won't follow him ashore, and you're in danger of drowning at any time.

It didn't take long for him to realize that it was not an option to continue like this, so he bid farewell to that "profession".

Then I went north with my acquaintances, and came to City A.I changed a few jobs and started working as a waiter in QUEEN four years ago.Knowing that man was also when he was a waiter.

During that time, he was repeatedly harassed by a guest, and he barely managed it at first, but that person became more and more excessive. QUEEN's security guards are all there to protect those drag actors, and they don't care about their waiters at all.When the guest insisted on taking him away, the man stepped forward and helped him out.

"TT, you can understand it. It's just that no one cared about you all the time, but suddenly someone came forward to protect you and beat someone up for you, and that person happened to be your match. It's really hard to let people not tempted."

Song Shuhua nodded.Just like himself, he has never been understood by others, but the man on the Internet can understand him and always help him. Even he himself can't tell whether it is because he wants to rely on the other party.

"I chased him. Like I said, he is straight. I came to QUEEN that time with my friends to see something new. He is not interested in men. I said, hey, it's just right, I'm about to become Women, I asked him what type of women he likes. He just laughed, thinking I was joking.

"At the beginning, I was a buddy. He had a lot of friends. At that time, I was alone and lonely here. Fortunately, I had them. Later, I also came on stage, and they came to cheer me up and help me drive away. Get rid of those weird guests.

"The opportunity to be together was also drinking, you know, what happened after drinking. Actually, I was not drunk. I seduced him. Afterwards, I pretended to be relaxed and told him that it was a one-night stand. Anyway, we are both adults. Having sex with a man, let’s take it as a novel experience in life. In fact, I was so sad that I went home and cried a lot.

"I don't know what he thought later, but he took the initiative to come back to me again..." Xiaofeng paused for a long time before murmuring, "We also had happy times..."

Seeing a little sparkle of light in his eyes, Song Shuhua worriedly said: "Xiaofeng..."

"At that time, every time I was on stage, he would pick me up, ride his second-hand Harley, and drive me wildly on the Yangjiang Bridge. The summer wind blew on my face like a whip, and the winter wind cut like a knife, but I I like it very much, it’s like flying, it’s very free, and I don’t have to worry about falling, I have to rely on. We lived in an attic at the time, only ten square meters, the air conditioner couldn’t cool in summer, and the heating couldn’t heat up in winter, and there was air leakage everywhere .

"We made love like crazy in that attic, and the whole floor creaked. Do you know what it's like to have sex in that kind of place during the dog days? Your body is soaked in sweat, and you will slip when you hold a figure like a loach... really It's very funny..." Xiaofeng began to laugh as he spoke, but tears rolled down like broken beads.

Song Shuhua pulled a tissue to him: "Xiaofeng, stop talking."

小峰擤了把鼻涕，声泪俱下地哭诉：“TT，你是不是特别看不起我，他都把我揍成这样了，我还舍不得……我还是爱他……”

Song Shuhua went forward and hugged Xiaofeng's shoulders, comforting his back: "I didn't look down on you, I understand, because I have no one to rely on, and I haven't been loved well, so I can't do without someone who seems to love you too. Bad guy."

"I will leave him, I must leave, my whole life will be ruined if this continues." These words are not for Song Shuhua, but for himself.

"Well, you will meet someone who truly loves you, and only by leaving can there be hope."

"I'll leave when I get my ID card."

"Well, have you thought about where you haven't been?"

"Maybe it's better to go to the south, I haven't thought about it yet."

Song Shuhua was a little worried: "Do you have other friends in the south?"

"I haven't contacted you for a long time, so I don't want to disturb others. Don't worry, you will always find a way out. The only thing is that you will send me away no matter what. If I hesitate, you will be responsible for waking me up. If not, wake me up."

"it is good."

Xiaofeng buried himself in Song Shuhua's chest and cried for a while, and when the strength passed, he raised his head, wiped his face, and dodged his eyes, feeling embarrassed.

"Everything will be fine."

"TT, thank you very much. If it weren't for you, I definitely wouldn't be able to make up my mind. In fact, he is also very pitiful. He became like this because he has no mother, and his father beat him since he was a child..."

Song Shuhua quickly covered Xiaofeng's mouth: "Don't say such things to shake yourself, no matter what happened to him, it's not the reason for him to treat you like this, you know?"

"...Well, you're right." Xiaofeng also felt that he couldn't fall into this kind of emotion anymore, so he quickly changed the subject, "TT, what's your real name...it doesn't matter if it's inconvenient to say."

"My name is Song Shuhua, you can call me Ahua."

"Ah Hua... so retro."

Song Shuhua was a little embarrassed: "Everyone in my family calls it that, so it's fine if you get used to it."

Xiaofeng leaned over to snuggle up with Song Shuhua again.In fact, he could feel that Song Shuhua didn't want to talk about his real affairs, so Xiaofeng tactfully stopped prying, and only asked: "This time your netizen has helped us so much, how can we thank him?"

Song Shuhua was quite distressed by this: "I don't know either, I asked him what kind of gift he wanted, and he said 'let's talk'."

"The food you cook is so delicious, why don't you cook it yourself and invite him to a meal. It is said that the stomach is the door to a man's heart. After eating your meal, he will definitely not be able to escape from your palm."

Song Shuhua lowered his eyebrows and said nothing.

"It's not right to go home, please. You can find a place outside. I can help you find it. This is all I can do." Seeing that Song Shuhua was still unhappy, Xiaofeng joked, " How about these two days, please, before I leave, I will check for you, and take a look at whether he is the Mediterranean Sea. If it is too ugly, I will help you find a way to escape. "

"no need."

"Why not? This is a great opportunity. Once we meet you, you will know what will happen next."

"There will be no development..." Song Shuhua pinched the position of the ring finger of his left hand. The ring there is now in his pocket.Perhaps it was because Xiaofeng had confided so many things to him today, secrets are often the key to unlock them, and he suddenly said, "I'm already married."

"That's right." Xiaofeng didn't look too surprised, "Actually, I guessed it, and your husband didn't know you were performing in QUEEN, right?"

It was Song Shuhua's turn to be surprised: "How do you know?"

"You get stuck going home every day, and you don't come over on weekends. There must be someone at home. All your costumes are here, and people keep their favorite things around. It must be inconvenient if you don't keep them around. Well... anyway, I guessed it a long time ago."

Xiaofeng was the first person to know about his double life, and also the one who clearly knew about his cheating, which made Song Shuhua very ashamed in front of him.

"Yeah, it's not good to have a mental affair."

Song Shuhua didn't speak, and bowed his head deeply.Not only ashamed, but actually suffering from it all the time.But Ren can't control his emotions, he is too cowardly, and he can't be so rational.

Xiaofeng sighed again, and patted him on the shoulder: "It's easy to distinguish between right and wrong, but people are not things. People have feelings, which are very complicated. No one understands the truth, but life is not based on the truth. , life is built on one complex and gray person after another, in fact, I understand you a little bit."

Regardless of whether it was reasonable or not, someone who understood him unconditionally made Song Shuhua feel a little better.

"It's just that I don't quite understand why you didn't get a divorce. It seems that your husband doesn't care about you, and you don't like him either. You can support yourself by relying on Queen's performance."

Song Shuhua hesitated for a while, and finally explained to Xiaofeng the reason why he couldn't divorce Lu Mingchen. The husband and the company, the husband and the Song family are not in his hands.

After speaking, he thought that Xiaofeng would definitely persuade him to divorce, but he was silent, and said after a while: "It's very troublesome."

Severing ties with family members seems to be very simple, but in fact the person concerned is psychologically tortured.People are always social animals, they need family, friends and lovers, and these emotional supports.Over the years, Xiaofeng can't say that he doesn't regret the overly drastic methods he adopted back then, making it difficult to recover.He would never persuade Song Shuhua to make the same choice as him.

"Maybe you can have a good talk with your husband, get his understanding, and then let him convince your parents."

Song Shuhua shook his head.Not to mention that Lu Mingchen would never agree to a divorce, even if he agreed and was willing to put the responsibility for the divorce on himself, Song Shuhua would not want others to bear this responsibility for him.unacceptable.

"Leave my affairs alone. Think about where you're going next..." Song Shuhua hesitated a bit at this point.

"Just say what you want, Ah Hua."

"It's nothing, just don't do it anymore... MB, I can lend you the money first."

Xiaofeng burst out laughing, then turned his head and hugged Song Shuhua: "Don't worry, I will be fine. I can be sorry to others, but I can't be sorry to you."