Difficult to return

That person began to forcefully add him as a friend, and his words were not very pleasant, but Song Shuhua actually didn't particularly hate him.

For the sake of the cake he sent for so long, it was more because of the shallow contact these days that he found that the man was not bad.Maybe it's a bit early to say this now, but Song Shuhua has an inexplicable intuition that the other party is different from other guests, and approaching him does not want to get anything specific from him.

Except for adding friends, that person didn't express anything eagerly afterwards, and didn't bother him too much. On the contrary, Song Shuhua went to talk to him more often for various reasons.The other party kept such a decent distance, which gave him a sense of security.

He sent out the tickets just to pay off the favor.It doesn't matter whether the other party comes or not, as long as he pays back what should be paid.

But during the performance, I couldn't help but look at the booth closest to the stage.Looking at the figures in the darkness one by one, I couldn't see anything clearly. The only thing that was certain was that there was no young man I met backstage.

It's fine if you don't come, Song Shuhua thought, but you shouldn't believe that this person says he will come to every performance.

After receiving the meal delivery call and the moment he got the lunch box, Song Shuhua couldn't deny the slight ripples in his heart, he should have come anyway.

But at this time, the slightest ripples were covered by the waves of embarrassment and anger, and Song Shuhua couldn't help shaking with anger.

The trembling fingertips typed quickly.

【What exactly are you going to say? 】

【How do you think I should view myself? 】

【who do you think You Are?Why do you say such things to me? 】

There was also a quick reply to him.

[What I want to say is literally.If you want to show the charm of pole dancing and gain recognition and praise for your performance and your dance accomplishments, I believe you can do it by changing the stage and wearing more clothes.Do you prefer people admire your body over your dancing? 】

Seeing this, Song Shuhua's mind buzzed, and suddenly went blank, only feeling his breathing intensified, and his heart beating tighter and tighter.

[I didn't mean to belittle you, I just wanted to know your thoughts. 】

Song Shuhua bit the corner of his mouth tightly, restraining his increasingly out-of-control emotions.

[Why should I tell you my thoughts?You have always been so self-righteous? 】

[It is not necessary. 】

Input... Input... Song Shuhua finally gave up. He is not the type who is good at arguing and quarreling.

He didn't need to explain to such a person, and he didn't care what he thought at all.He even wanted to block him again, but maybe this was just in the man's arms, proving that he was guilty.He does not have a guilty conscience, nor can he be guilty. Once he is guilty, it will prove that his father and husband are right and he is wrong.

After the rage burns away, only a little embers of sorrow remain.

Argue with such a person, just like he never argues with his parents and husband, because there is no need.

Trying to change others is nothing but a meaningless ascetic practice, and the only one who gets hurt is yourself.

He suppressed the anger in his heart and continued to remove his makeup.After finishing the work, he left and was stopped by Xiaofeng when he passed by Xiaofeng.

"TT, what's the matter with you, you look unhappy?"

Song Shuhua's absent-minded eyes turned to Xiaofeng's face, and suddenly saw the bruise on his cheekbones.She was wearing heavy makeup just now, but she didn't see it at all.

"What's wrong with your face?"

Xiaofeng subconsciously tilted his head, and turned the half of his face to Song Shuhua: "I was looking at my phone on the road, and I hit a tree."

"Why are you so careless?" Song Shuhua brought his face over and looked at it carefully: "It's quite serious, you'd better not go on stage for now, it's easy to get infected when you put on makeup."

"I'm fine."

Even though he said so, Song Shuhua turned back to his dressing room and took out the ointment that Zhou Yao used to wipe his legs last time and gave it to Xiaofeng.

When he got home, he was alone today, and his husband said he would come back tomorrow.

After tossing and tossing all night, his body was already exhausted, lying on the bed, he was still tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep.The man's words resurfaced in his mind over and over again——

how do you see yourself

What do you want from a performance like this?

Do you prefer people admire your body over your performance?

The anger that had been suppressed by him boiled like a boiling oil pan again, causing his heartbeat to speed up and his blood pressure to rise.

Why?

Forget about his parents and husband, why should he be angry with such a stranger?By the other party's malicious speculation and slander?And why does he have to hide what he thinks is right?He's not ashamed of it at all.

[At least in terms of drag performances, I didn't do bad things, and I didn't hurt others. I'm just as proud of myself as all those who are doing what they love.Self-satisfaction and self-realization are also what I get from my performances. 】

[The same goes for my body, I don’t hesitate to let people watch and like beautiful things.People who like my performance and my body, it seems to me the same, what they like is not the real me, it is a part of me that I show.I also don't want to have a real connection with any of the guests, as if all I need is this level of liking. 】

[I don't know what you want to say.Want me to be ashamed of exposing my body?Want to teach me not to be so depraved?Are you one of those hypocritical prostitutes who want to save a woman who's lost her footing after she's done? 】

[It's funny, no one here needs your rescue, put away your self-righteous arrogance, this is really disgusting, even more disgusting than those men who only want to sleep with me. 】

The stagnant air in his chest was spit out along with these fierce words, and Song Shuhua finally felt much better.

On the other side, he has been typing since he finished the first sentence, but the content has never been sent, and he should be speechless by himself.

That's it, it's him who should feel ashamed, not himself.Song Shuhua, who thought this way, was filled with resentment in his heart, besides what this person gave him, there was also what he had received in the past - he had no reason to argue, or no one could listen to his arguments.

That resentment forced him to continue.

[You ask me so many questions, so I'll ask you too, how good do you think your character is, and an honest gentleman also comes to a drag show?You don't know that one of the characteristics of drag shows is pornographic performances.In your eyes, I am so depraved, why do you want to show up with me?You insist on adding me as a friend just to educate me?Or, he just wanted to sleep with me. 】

After so long, there was finally only one reply.

【I never thought about going to bed with Tita. 】

[Then why is your overture? 】

There was no sound on the other side.

The more Song Shuhua talked, the more angry he became.It's not that he doesn't understand what is going on in a man's mind. The other party's denial is to show that he is really a noble person, and the only one who is despicable is himself?

[You don't want to sleep with me, is it because you want to get my love? 】

[This is too funny, is there no one in your life who loves you? 】

typing... typing...

For the first time, Song Shuhua kept others from talking, thus getting rid of his fate of being blamed, criticized and laughed forever.

This venting made him feel refreshed. He had never felt so comfortable in his life. It seemed that the anger and grievances smoldering in his heart had finally opened and could flow out continuously. No matter how the other party refuted, he could refute them wonderfully. , and let out a bad breath for the life he had suppressed for half his life.

He would like to see what bullshit reason the other party has to educate him superiorly.

【you're right. 】

【no one loves Me.My lover never loved me either. 】

Before Song Shuhua could react, the exhilarating feeling gradually froze in his chest...

[I offended you by being too self-righteous, I'm sorry. 】

[I'm not feeling well today, so I won't talk for now. 】

After saying this, the person's always-lit head went dark.

It's like a victorious battle is about to take advantage of the victory to pursue, and the opponent suddenly surrenders.Not only surrendered, but also committed suicide in fear of crime.

Song Shuhua held the phone, feeling an indescribable feeling in his heart.Wearing women's clothes will always be regarded as a shame. He wants to win countless times, and let others have nothing to say once, but when he actually does it, he doesn't feel like winning at all, because he doesn't feel happy at all.

After defeating the opponent, as the opponent retreated steadily and even shattered, he felt that something in himself was also broken.

Going back and looking at the man's words, it seems that he didn't exactly belittle him, although the subtext is a bit like that.Song Shuhua wasn't even sure if he was too sensitive and thought too much, because too many people thought so and alluded to him like this.Perhaps this person is simply curious about what kind of psychology he is, and has no subjective praise or criticism.

Look at that sentence again - no one loves me.My lover never loved me either.

It was obviously just a sentence, and through the screen of the mobile phone, without emotion or tone, Song Shuhua seemed to have seen the lonely and sad appearance of that person.

He had a lover.He even knows that his lover doesn't love him.It's just so sad.

Song Shuhua thought of himself.He also has a husband, and he doesn't know if his husband loves him or not.Even if it is love, the person you love is not the real him.

Why is there always such a thing in the world, always unable to be happy with each other, people and people are tied together for one reason or another, but they still cannot love each other.

He regretted what he had just said.

Language is a knife, he has been deeply hurt by such a knife, and now he is holding this knife to hurt others.He really shouldn't be like this.

The chest that had just been agitated was now filled with guilt.

[Sorry, I said too much. 】

The other party's profile picture didn't light up, and he didn't reply for the first time.