Difficult to return

Song Shuhua stood in front of the house and did not open the door for a long time.The light was on in the house, and the husband had already returned.

He didn't know why he was a little flustered today, but he was confident that his husband would not suspect anything, and he had been doing this for so many years.

For so many years, he lived a double life, carefully guarding the boundary between the two lives, in order to protect himself.If he is hurting those around him by being himself, he doesn't want to hurt others.Today's panic may be due to the long time interval between the performances, and it is more likely to be Zhou Yao's harassment.

Thinking of what Zhou Rao said that he wanted to try with him, Song Shuhua felt uncomfortable all over.

He took a deep breath, took out the key and turned the lock.

The moment the door was opened, the lights in the room suddenly went out.Before he could say anything, he heard her husband's voice.

"Don't turn on the lights yet."

"Mingchen? What's the matter?"

"It's okay. Don't turn on the light, put the things in your hands at the door first, and you come in."

Song Shuhua put down the things in his hands full of suspicion, and closed the door to block the street lights outside, only to see a faint candlelight.Confused, he walked in following the dim light, turned around the hall, and finally saw his husband standing in the center of the living room.

The music of the song "Happy Birthday" suddenly sounded, Lu Mingchen was holding a cake in his hand, the dancing candlelight reflected on his face, painting his face with a fluffy edge of light.There was a faint smile on the man's face that suited the soft light, and he just looked at his husband who had just returned home.

Song Shuhua froze in place.

Lu Mingchen walked towards him, held the cake in front of him, and said softly, "Happy 32nd birthday! Make a wish."

The orange flames also danced in front of Song Shuhua's eyes, reflected in the depths of his eyes, making his eyes sour.The surprise didn't move him, but the sudden sadness in his heart was like a sea wave, overwhelming him.He was about to suffocate in this wave.

Seeing that he didn't respond for a long time, Lu Mingchen called out tentatively: "Ah Hua?"

"Hmm... make a wish..."

He hurriedly put his hands on his chest, facing the candle, but his heart was filled with guilt, unable to make any wishes.

The candles were extinguished and the darkness shrouded in darkness. Song Shuhua wanted to escape from the guilt, so he hurriedly said, "I'm going to turn on the light."

As soon as she turned around, her husband grabbed her wrist.The fine fluorescent lights of the starry sky lights hit the roof and the wall, and the dots of starlight slowly rotate like the Milky Way.The music started, and a low and melodious female voice sang softly.

Lu Mingchen wrapped his other hand around his waist and put it close to his ear: "Let's dance." Before he could speak, her husband had already led him to move slowly.

The hand of her husband holding his hand slowly hugged his back, and the whole body hugged him, the dance steps were all messed up, just hugging, slowly shaking from side to side.

As soon as Lu Mingchen lowered his head, his voice whispered in his ear: "Ah Hua, happy birthday." Then he leaned towards his neck.

Song Shuhua tilted his head to hide: "...Thank you, you prepared these for me."

Lu Mingchen chased towards his neck. Today's husband smells a little different, I can't tell, but it smells very good.He buried his whole face into Song Shuhua's neck again, greedily inhaling his scent: "Don't say thank you to me, I'm your husband...it's your family...Ah Hua, I love you."

Lu Mingchen was not good at saying this kind of words, but love seemed to flow to his mouth automatically, turning into words, and he couldn't tolerate him not saying it.Just by saying love, his heart throbbed violently, and he kissed his husband's mouth a little confused.

The music continued, and so did the kissing, her husband's arms holding him tighter and tighter.Song Shuhua's heart tightened, and his nose felt sore. He couldn't take it anymore, and finally pushed her husband away.

"Mingchen, I'm hungry, let's eat first."

Realizing that he had lost his composure, Lu Mingchen let go of her husband, a little embarrassed.

Getting along day and night during this period of time made them feel like they had returned to the stability and harmony they had when they first got married.

Lu Mingchen believes that love is not fixed and unchanging, but love will flow and change, sometimes deep and sometimes superficial.Their relationship has encountered a bottleneck, and they can't tell what's wrong, but everything seems to be wrong.He gave up and gave up on himself, but it didn't solve the problem, it just made him feel more and more empty and lonely, and made his husband suffer.

A performance by her husband made him repent.In the past six months, he worked hard to make up for it, as if he regained the love between the two, only then did he realize that his affection for her husband had never diminished.It's just that they are not convinced, not reconciled, and deliberately hide it, and when it comes out again, it burns like wildfire.Between gain and loss, he finally clearly knew that what he was after had never changed.

Sitting on both sides of the dining table, today is the meal he ordered from the hotel, and everything was prepared before her husband came back.

He poured half a glass of red wine and handed it to her husband, and asked casually, "Why are you back so late today?"

Song Shuhua hastily lowered his eyelashes, and turned his throat a few times. The lies that he was familiar with in the past are extremely difficult to tell today.

"Ok?"

"Student... a little stupid, I'll teach him for a while longer." After speaking, he took the wine glass, took a big sip, and used the alcohol to suppress the bad feeling in his heart.

Fortunately, the husband did not continue to press.

"It's your birthday today, did you forget about it?" Lu Mingchen put the cut beef in front of her husband, and then gave him his.

"Well, it's not an important day."

The Song family didn't have the habit of celebrating birthdays every year, and neither did Lu Mingchen, but he always remembered her husband's birthday.Judging by her husband's appearance today, his reaction was slow for a while, and he should be pleasantly surprised, so the preparations these days were worth it.

"It's your birthday, do you want anything?"

Song Shuhua shook his head as usual: "I don't lack anything."

Even so, Lu Mingchen took out a small box and opened the lid to her husband. Inside was a Patek Philippe platinum watch.

"A birthday present for you."

The husband glanced at him, without surprise or joy, a little embarrassed, took it and thanked him.

This was within Lu Mingchen's expectations, her husband had no interest in luxuries and extravagant enjoyment.In the past, he thought it was a personality advantage, and now he thinks the same way, but even these things can't arouse his husband's enthusiasm, and he doesn't know what can please him, so he is somewhat frustrated.

"Let me put it on for you. This is a pair." Lu Mingchen stretched out his arms and showed him his hands. The green water ghost on his wrist was replaced with this one.

Song Shuhua handed him his hand, and after putting it on, Lu Mingchen said again: "It's pretty, wear it all the time from now on."

After dinner, Song Shuhua glanced at the birthday cake beside him.

The cake was so simple that it could be called crude, with only a layer of uneven cream on the round cake base.The cream flowers on the surface are different in size and crooked, only the words "Happy Birthday" are written vigorously and flamboyantly.If this cake is placed in any dessert shop, it may not be able to sell it if it is reversed.

Song Shuhua looked at the cake and smiled helplessly and sadly.

Lu Mingchen also found out that her husband was staring at his "masterpiece", and felt very embarrassed.

The husband is ingenious, both home-cooked dishes and cakes and desserts are beautiful and delicious. I must look down on him. It took him half a day and several wastes to make this cake that can barely hold the candle.That laugh must be making fun of him.

"Have you finished eating? Then I'll take the table away." Lu Mingchen just wanted to take the cake away quickly.

"I haven't eaten the birthday cake yet." Seeing her husband's tangled expression, he added, "I made a wish on it."

Lu Mingchen had no choice but to put the cake back in front of her husband, and handed him the plastic knife: "You don't have to force yourself when you're full, just make up your mind."

Song Shuhua didn't listen to him, and cut off two pieces, one big and one small: "You don't like sweets, I'll give you the small one."

Lu Mingchen stared at him as he stuffed a quarter of the cake into his mouth, feeling sore and soft in his heart.Seeing that her husband was still cutting, he grabbed his hand: "Don't eat, be careful of food accumulation."

"Then we'll eat it tomorrow." His eyes fell on the untouched cake of his husband, "Try a bite, it's delicious."

The taste and taste are naturally good, because the best cake embryos and cream are used, and these are ready-made things in the store.He made such a good thing into such a shameful look.

Today is my husband's birthday, and I want to surprise and touch him.Lu Mingchen didn't know how much his husband was surprised and moved, but he was already very moved.

Song Shuhua has many shortcomings, but he is still the best person.He is always so gentle and kind, knows how to empathize, and is always considerate of others.

The moving face is like a ball of soft cotton, stuffed in the chest, warm and appropriate.When her husband was packing up the tableware and leftover cakes, Lu Mingchen couldn't help but follow him around the house.

Several times when Song Shuhua turned around, he almost bumped into the man.In the end, he smiled angrily: "You always follow me to do something, go take a shower if you have nothing to do."

Lu Mingchen opened his mouth, but found that he couldn't say anything, so he went to take a bath first.

It's just that when the figure of the man disappeared into another room, the smile in Song Shuhua's eyes disappeared and turned into endless exhaustion.He held his face in his hands and rubbed it vigorously.

He can't let go of his husband's feelings for him, because he can't give back at all.He also has limits to his pretense and acting, and can't endlessly play deep love.He can't accept so much love, he doesn't deserve it, and he can't do it.

Day after day he was tormented by guilt and shame. The better his husband treated him, the more he felt like he was sitting on pins and needles. Those days when he was cheated were the only moments when he felt redeemed.However, the husband suddenly returned to the family and put all these emotions on him like shackles.And he is pushing the other party into the abyss with his own hands.

In the evening, Song Shuhua went to bed after washing, her husband Cong Shanru turned off the light, tentatively embraced him from behind, pressed against the back of his neck, and called his name softly and sticky.

"Ah Hua... have you used perfume today? It smells good."

"No, the bath liquid at home has been changed."

He stopped her husband's hand reaching into the hem of his clothes, but that hand grabbed him instead and pressed his hands on top of his head.

"It's not the smell of new body wash..." The husband pressed his face against his neck and sucked it hard. The hot and humid breath made his skin feel hot, and the body was about to overlap him.

Song Shuhua closed his eyes, and said in the dark with difficulty and indifference, "Mingchen, I'm a little tired today..."

The man was obviously stunned for a moment, his grip on him loosened, and his face was lifted from his body.

He knew that her husband was not willing to do this. In the past six months, he had never forced himself to do it. He either held it back or resolved it by himself.He thought that the atmosphere tonight was just right and he would not be rejected...

"If you want to, wait until tomorrow..."

"No, go to sleep."