After we broke up, I still asked about your situation

After a long time, Tong Shen took a deep breath and said in a low voice, "I have never been with your brother before."

He sorted out the most important one from thousands of tiny and messy threads, trying to make Tu Jiazhi feel less uncomfortable.

Back then, he tacitly let him misunderstand the relationship between himself and Shu Bai, because it was hard to explain his behavior of supporting him, and he was afraid that he would not let him support him because of his temper.

Now that he has grown up so much and Shu Bai is about to be released from prison, then this kind of misunderstanding that will torture him is unnecessary.

Anyway... Even if Tu Jiazhi wants to draw a line with himself immediately because of this, it doesn't matter.

Before speaking, Tong Shen repeatedly warned himself: This is exactly what he wished for, and there is nothing he can't bear to part with.

Originally, it was a fate that did not belong to me.

If it weren't for that mistake back then, Tu Jiazhi and him would not have had any fate at all.

Now it's just to get things back on track, you should be willing, you must be willing.

"Your brother is a straight man, and he had a girlfriend whom he had been dating for five years. Your aunt and the others should know about it, but maybe they didn't mention it to you because you were a child." Thinking of the tragedy between Luo Wan and Shu Bai, Tong With deep eyes burning, he choked up and said, "It's the woman's custom not to see each other's parents until they are discussing marriage. They were about to reach that point. Originally...they had already made plans and decided to wait until the next holiday. , I went to meet my parents... It's just that I didn't have time in the end, no, I didn't have time... it's all my fault."

The amount of information in just a few sentences is too rich, and Tu Jiazhi was stunned for a long time but couldn't figure it out, so he could only ask the thing he cared about the most: "Then what is your relationship with him...?"

When he spoke, his voice was unsteady, with fear and anticipation, and a little overwhelmed and cautious.

"It's the relationship you guessed." Tong Shen struggled to pull the corners of his lips, "The relationship between the debtor and the creditor."

"……What's the meaning?"

Given Tong Shen's family background, the debt he owes must not be money, then it can only be a debt of favor.

Thinking of him being unwilling to tell the truth for so many years, Tu Jiazhi suddenly became frightened, and interrupted without waiting for Tong Shen's answer: "Don't tell me!"

Tong Shen opened his mouth, the words stuck in his throat, his peach blossom eyes were full of water, there was no affection, only sadness.

Tu Jiazhi raised his hand to cover his eyes, leaned on his shoulder, and murmured, "It's enough that I know you're not with him, don't talk about it, I won't ask any more."

Tong Shen remained silent for a long time before saying, "Your brother won't let me tell you either."

"He's right." Tu Jiazhi said, "I don't want to hear it."

"But you will know sooner or later." Tong Shen said softly, "You should know."

"I don't want to hear it." Tu Jiazhi took his hand down to cover his mouth again, "Don't say it."

Tong Shen lowered his eyes and really didn't make a sound.

Tu Jiazhi waited for a moment, and seeing that he had no intention of speaking, he slowly let go of his hands to cover the back of his head, turned him around, and kissed him from the neck to his lips carefully.

"I'm sorry just now." He pressed Tong Shen's forehead and admitted his mistake softly, "I didn't really blame you, I'm sorry."

Tong Shen didn't know what he was thinking, and neither answered nor looked at him.

Tu Jiazhi didn't like his ecstatic appearance, bowed his head and kissed his eyelids, Xu Xu said: "It's not your fault, brother, it's all my nonsense."

"..."

"I was jealous, so I deliberately hurt you with my words." Tu Jiazhi said, "You are not wrong, it was me...I liked you without permission, I forced you to kiss and make love with me, it was not your will...Don't do it yourself. Blame it, okay? Don't blame yourself so much...I deserve it, and you deserve it for not liking me...I don't deserve you to like me. "

"...No." Tong Shen said with difficulty, "No unworthy."

He wanted to say that he was actually unworthy, but there were too many sins to atone for, and he was not qualified to be forgiven by Tu Jiazhi with just a few words, so he simply didn't say anything.

It's better to just hold back and blame yourself in your heart than a few sanctimonious apologies.

"My brother, I will explain it myself." Tu Jiazhi rubbed his face affectionately, "I will tell him well, and I will confess to him that I made a mistake first, and I coveted you first, not your fault, you know? ?”

Realizing that Tong Shen was still in a daze, he pinched his chin and turned the man forcefully, looked him in the eyes and asked, "What are you thinking? Huh? Brother? Tell me what you are thinking, okay?"

"I'm thinking..." Tong Shen shook his head lightly after a slight pause, "I didn't think about anything."

"You think about it." Tu Jiazhi subconsciously pressed hard, and asked cruelly, "Are you thinking of leaving? Are you trying to run away again? You, you can't think, do you hear me? Look at me... Tong Shen, You look at me!"

Tong Shen lowered his eyes and took two seconds to relax before looking up at him again.

Seeing that there was still interest in his eyes, Tu Jiazhi was slightly relieved, and his tone became gentle: "Don't be afraid... Listen to me, that's just my cousin, not my parents... Even if it's my parents, You can't interfere with my choice... No one can interfere with my choice. What's more, let alone my cousin... He is very gentle and tolerant, and he will definitely understand our affairs, and I will talk to him, okay?"

Tong Shen looked at him and thought to himself, this person is not yet 19 years old, that's why he speaks so recklessly and regardless of the consequences.

The young man has a lonely courage, as if he dares to fight against the whole world.

But where is the need for struggle?

What stands between them is not the parents who passed away as a teenager, nor Shu Bai who is in prison, but Tong Shen himself.

It is the chasm in my heart that cannot be crossed.

This has nothing to do with courage.

It's because if he has a conscience, he shouldn't choose the path that makes him feel better.

Those who make mistakes deserve to be punished.

How could he be lucky that Shu Bai suffered from prison in his place?

He should build himself a prison and live in it.

The pain in his throat was as if someone had stuck his neck, Tong Shen said silently: "When you came, you were only 14 years old...he asked me to take care of you...but I took care of you like this."

"no……"

"You have a bright future." Tong Shen murmured, "And I'm your family's sinner...not only a sinner, I'm...an enemy. How can you like me? You shouldn't like me...I shouldn't agree Yours. I, I'm so confused..."

"I'm guilty," he choked out. "I was so wrong."

"...I'm sorry." Tu Jiazhi hugged him tightly, "I'm sorry, brother, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those words, I didn't mean that, don't think so, okay?"

Tong Shen shook his head, but said nothing.

The more he thought about it, the more he felt that he must have been insane before making such a decision.

"Those people are right." Tong Shen said to himself, "I'm just a worthless piece of trash. Every time I make a choice, I make a mistake."

It was a mistake to decide to make friends with Shu Bai from that year.

A person like him should be rotten to the root, and should be mixed with those who are also rotten. How can he be worthy of polluting Shu Bai's life?

He shouldn't try to have a good relationship with Tu Jiazhi beyond his limits, he should honestly be a treasury, honestly sponsor Tu Jiazhi to study, wait until he can support himself, and then honestly disappear with his tail between his legs.

Tu Jiazhi likes himself, to him, it is the only stain in his innocent life.

He should have stopped the loss in time, should have made up his mind to stay away, how could he have the face to come back and indulge?

That's not indulgence.

That's a crime.

Now this stain is getting deeper and bigger, all because of his weakness and laziness back then.

If he had been more decisive and thought more comprehensive at the beginning, it would not have caused the current situation.

Shu Bai said he couldn't tell the truth, so should he really do it?

Why put all the crimes on Shu Bai alone?

He is just a coward who has been hiding behind Shu Bai.

Anything that was hidden from Luo Wan and Tu Jiazhi because of Shu Bai's request was nothing but a high-sounding cover, a shield erected by himself to cover up his cowardice.

It is because I dare not, because I am cowardly and incompetent, and when encountering some difficulties, I am like a fool, unable to think of any solution, and dare not take any responsibility.

But those who make mistakes deserve resentment and loathing.

He should have admitted it long ago, and should have been ashamed and hated long ago.

"I confess." After a long time, Tong Shen gently pushed Tu Jiazhi away, stood up straight, and said encouragingly, "I confess."

Tu Jiazhi was stunned: "What?"

"Your brother is in jail because of me." Tong Shen looked at him and said, "You shouldn't like me, you should hate me."

The author has something to say:

Chapter 45 adds 2333 words, and friends who are too lazy to read it may not read it. It has no effect on the follow-up plot, but it is a little more detailed. (If you like abuse, you can rewatch [-], which should be more abuse than the previous version)

ps If there is no accident, the next chapter will break up. I will try to add more. If there is no update at 233333 o'clock, the attempt will fail. [-], don't wait orz