are you a clown

Regardless of whether Er Jiasi would follow or not, Lin Jiasan started to walk back the way he came.

They parted at an intersection a short distance from the coffee shop.

When Er Jiasi said goodbye to her, he pointed at her in a childish tone and said, "I will study this matter carefully to prove that your point of view is completely wrong."

Mistakes are mistakes, anyway, these words are purely her own opinion.When Lin Chensan waved his hand again, he still had some anticipation in his heart, anticipating what kind of information or data the other party would use to refute her.

But that's for later.

It wasn't something that happened before tonight, nor something that would happen in sleep.

Back at the rented house, it was already 03:30, Lin Chensan took a quick shower, changed into her pajamas, and set an alarm for [-]:[-] on her mobile phone.Xu was influenced by what Er Jiasi told her about the body pillow before, she used the pillow she had been sleeping on as a pillow, put her arms around the pillow, buried her face in it, turned sideways, and was in the quilt, and soon I fell asleep.

She woke up before the alarm clock rang, and completed most of the steps of dressing almost with her eyes closed. After finding a slipper from under the bed, she thought about it, touched her calf, and stretched her calf muscles. After cheering up, she hopped to the chair of the single-person table and hooked back the slippers, barely meeting the dress requirements to be able to wear shoes at the entrance.

Evening work is still unpretentious.

Playing games for the purpose of entertainment is different from playing games for work. Lin Chensan is currently in charge of only one new area. Maybe it's because of a gap with Chen Xiaofeng. Chen Xiaofeng didn't bother him all night. she.Made her a little bored.

Boredom really is the greatest enemy of life.

In this state of boredom, the passage of time is almost frozen, painfully slow.

In such a situation, it is very easy for people to think wildly.

But this is also something that can't be helped, she has nothing of interest, nothing to do, no love for life, and of course she can't draw positive and upward energy from life.Introverted people will have a particularly serious mental drain. Boredom and exhaustion are always accompanied by Lin Chensan's two longest emotions.

When there is no one else around, Lin Chensan always feels that she is standing on a big rock that is falling apart. The sense of insecurity prompts her to leave the rock quickly, but where will she settle when she leaves the rock?There was always no such answer, so she could only stand on that rock, waiting for her spirit to be torn apart.

No matter what he does, Lin Chensan will inevitably fall into a vicious circle.For example, now, she would think, is such a job meaningful?What kind of work is meaningful?Should the standard for judging the meaning of work be general value judgments or self-importance?If she thinks it is, what kind of job does she always want to do?The answer is that there is nothing to want to do.

The search for meaning is simply pointless.

So, does the job make her look worthwhile?It's hard. Although I have only been working for more than half a month, I can't say that I can get started quickly. At best, I can only say that it looks better than the one on the left.It is an existence that can be replaced at any time, or even if you leave immediately, it will not affect the position of the group.

When it is difficult to replenish positive energy, the whole person's mind is filled with negative and negative emotions, which will not benefit the future and will waste human brain function.As usual, when his wild thoughts progressed to a certain level, Lin Chensan would spontaneously throw all these thoughts behind him.

I won't go any further for any understanding.

But it is possible that the negative impact of the topic that I chatted with Er Jia Si in the afternoon has not yet dissipated. Run out of the corner.

If something can be resolved through heart-to-heart talk, then there won’t be so many people with psychological barriers. She said that for the student who was struggling in the front line of the college entrance examination, all her words were an excuse for not being in charge of the family and not knowing the cost of life, and standing and talking without back pain.It's a trap that wants him to get bad grades too.

……

Don't be silly, she originally escaped from one job to another, looking for the meaning of life from the place she used to escape as a refuge, that is definitely a thought that only has a brain.

The greatest pain God gave her was that it made it very easy for her to find rational thinking from some clues of life, but it just let her watch, and would not give her any solutions or clues that could be solved.

Man is a thinking animal.But to Lin Chensan, this kind of thinking is like a floating bait on the water. She is not a fisherman, but a fish that must bite the bait. Apart from this, there is no other way out, no other way to live.For now, her way of evading in this way only delayed the time to bite the hook, and in the end it was of no help.

In the future, she will probably die with a somewhat stable job, and will never think about these things, but that must be in the future, not now.

It is not to say that life has to be meaningful. In fact, the fact that life is meaningless is the fact that most people, it should be said that most people find it difficult to find the meaning of their own life throughout their lives.

If everything is meaningless, live life to the fullest.

Like the traps of most so-called consumerism nowadays, most people have already known it well, but why do they still feel at ease to be a capitalist's leek?

Mortgage.

car loan.

Parents pension.

Children's education expenses.

……

Everything costs money, but most of the time it is not for yourself, it is money that has to be spent, and it has become a sacrifice that has to be made.Out of a sense of responsibility that humans have had since forming traditional concepts.Also out of some kind of material satisfaction.

To use an inappropriate analogy, as Er Jiasi said, eating sweets will heal the heart.

The spiritual needs become comfort, then the needs become mediocre happiness, the primitive and most superficial desires.

But Lin Chensan couldn't even have this mediocre happiness. At a certain stage in her life, she realized the shortness and fragility of life, and then she began to think about the meaning and value of life.

The result so far is that she can't live well in a meaningless life.

This meaning extends to work, that is to say, it is uncomfortable to do a job that you are not interested in, even to fish with pay.Of course, this can also be said to be due to the frustration and frustration that itself extends from incompetence.

The only thing that can hurt her is the powerlessness of the heart, but the powerlessness of the heart occupies most of the time in life, and in the end, it becomes the minimum requirement.

She will do nothing but do the best she can.

Occam's Razor: Don't multiply entities unnecessarily.

Talent cannot be predicted, luck cannot be guessed, and time is my prison.

Going to work is like going to a grave, that's pretty much what it means.

So sad.

She really wasn't in the right physique for work.She is suitable for eating and waiting to die.

It's only been a few days since I went to work... With such a mentality, Lin Chensan immediately didn't dare to think about his daily work status in the future.

But fortunately, no matter how cranky it is, by eleven o'clock in the evening, this boring and boring job is finally over.When the time is up, Chen Xiaofeng doesn't need to take the initiative to remind him.Just like a prisoner who has been in prison for 30 years is allowed to go out for the first time, Lin Chensan runs faster than anyone else.

Before Di Xiaole said goodbye in the game public channel, Lin Chensan was gone in no time.

Thanks to her, the people who left behind her didn't see any delay, even though Chen Xiaofeng's face was a little pale, but he didn't say anything to stop her.

There were no figures of Zhao Lingmeng and Ma Tiantian at the door on the first floor. After realizing this, Lin Chensan suddenly remembered that the two of them had asked for leave temporarily, because Zhao Lingmeng was advised by the doctor to go through hospital procedures, and Ma Tiantian herself had There was no rest for a few days, and as a team leader, it was not difficult to apply for a rest.

There is no need to chat on the road, as if there is a dog chasing after his buttocks, Lin Chensan basically ran home at a trot, but before entering the door, he made a fuss and pulled the hoodie and pants that were not wrinkled at all, Only then did I press the password of the electronic lock to enter the door.

Lin Jianwu was still studying with a laptop in the living room as expected.

After seeing this scene, Lin Chensan's heart became a little more stable.Although the place she was standing on was a torn stone, the person in front of her was like an iron sinking anchor anchoring her to this world that could not see much light.

Very wonderful feeling.

As if being so restless at work is just to get off work, and running so fast on the way to get off work is just to come back, and the reason to come back is to see this person.

"came back?"

When the other party noticed the movement and saw her come back with such a gentle and peaceful smile and speak, Lin Chensan felt that she just wanted to have such a person who could tell her the truth in such a city with few relatives and friends. In this case.

She felt that Lin Jianwu could satisfy her little wish hidden deep in her heart without her saying anything.And when such a wish is really realized, the satisfaction she can get from the bottom of her heart is incomparable.

But it didn't take long for Lin Chensan to think about it.

My stomach growled.

This is very normal.After all, from one o'clock in the afternoon, all she ate that could be called food was a piece of cake in the coffee shop and half a serving of popcorn in the movie theater.

That is, in front of Lin Jianwu, Lin Jiasan would be very embarrassed.

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The author has something to say:

Here is a friendly reminder, don't take the protagonist's words seriously, don't take them seriously, don't take them seriously.