Chunyin

In retrospect, that time between me and Fu Huan was a bit absurd.I remember that I drank a cup of tea calmly in his room, chatted for a while before leaving.Although Fu Huan said less later, he didn't regard this as a big deal in his words.I said that I am similar to Fu Huan, even in this kind of matter, there is a rare tacit understanding.

It's just that looking back now, Fu Changting's phrase "I've been looking for me for a long time" that I took as a lie at the time turned out to be based on evidence, but the evidence has to be found in his previous life, before he became Fu Changting.

I was on the horseback thinking about the past, and I was very sad when Jumang whispered in my ear again.

He said: "Little friend Lan Yan, don't think this is the end of this life for the two of you."

Although the scene in front of him was indeed very happy and could be called complete, it was achieved by Shen Zhuyun with reluctance. "Twisted melons are not sweet", there is an ancient saying in this world.

I sighed and said, "One is deeply affectionate, and the other is not yet open. Even if it is barely achieved, I am afraid there will still be hardships to suffer."

Gou Mang also sighed and said, "Even you understand the truth, but this Shen Zhuyun is so obsessed with it."

My eyelids twitched, what is "even I understand"?I have suffered so much from Zhuang Ziyu and Fu Changting, how much do I know about feelings, okay?

Before I had time to complain to Jumang, the scene in front of me suddenly changed.

The sunset glow turns into night wind, and the sound of insects turns into winter snow.

This winter, Shicheng County had a rare snowfall in a hundred years.

In the alley at the back entrance of Shenjiazhuang at the foot of Mingquan Mountain, a figure leaned unsteadily under the lantern at the entrance. The tiny snow seeds were carried by the wind and blown over the wall, falling on the ground and turning into water in an instant.

Song Zhuo leaned against the door, raised his head and drank the last sip of wine from the bottom of the jug, then raised his hand and threw the jug far away.There was a crisp sound, and the jug shattered, scaring away a wild cat that was hiding in the corner of the wall to hide from the wind and snow.Song Zhuo looked at the wild cat fleeing in a hurry, his dull and dull face reflected in the dim candlelight.

He stood blankly with his back against the door panel for a while, then turned around, grabbed the door knocker with his hand, and was about to knock the door, but his hand paused and fell down again.He rested his head on the door panel and sighed long—as if he was reluctant to enter this door, but had to.

He lowered his head and looked at his hand, which had patted the horse, bet the goods, and brought Shen Zhuyun from Suzhou to the distant Dali Kingdom. This hand used to do whatever it wanted, it was very free.But now, but now...

Song Zhuo spent a long time at the door before finally knocking on the door.

Soon someone came to answer the door, seeing him, he turned his head and said to the people beside him: "Quickly go and inform the young master, it is the young master who has returned."

Song Zhuo staggered in and said, "There's no need to tell third brother, I'll go right away."

The servant said, "Young master, why have you been drinking until now? The young master has been waiting for you all day."

Song Zhuo: "Wait for me? What are you waiting for?"

"Didn't the young master make an appointment to invite Doctor Mu to come over today?"

"Doctor Mu..." Song Zhuo reacted slowly after being drunk, and was stunned for a while, then a spirit jumped to the top of his head, "This is bad."

He hurried to Shen Zhuyun's courtyard, and asked, "Third brother, how are you today? Does your leg hurt badly?"

The servant said in a low voice: "Whether the son's leg hurts or not, I have always only told the young master and the doctor... How can we tell?"

Song Zhuo scolded, "Why didn't you come to me?"

"Young master won't let me."

Song Zhuo paused: "He won't let you come and find him?"

The servant nodded and glanced at him: "Young master said, if the young master has the heart, he will naturally remember."

Song Zhuo's face froze in an instant—it was intentional and unintentional again.He and Shen Zhuyun had argued countless times over trivial matters.Although Shen Zhuyun would not blame him overtly, he always gave him soft nails.Song Zhuo would rather have Shen Zhuyun speak out about him, because several times he encountered soft nails and didn't know where he was wrong, so he was more cautious and timid when he spoke and acted.

It wasn't that he wanted to forget today.

This year's weather is colder than usual, Shen Zhuyun's leg disease relapsed, and he couldn't sleep well at night.Song Zhuo made many inquiries and heard that Mu Herui, a famous doctor of the Wuman tribe, was in Shicheng County recently. He paid a visit to Dr. Namu and asked him to come and see him today.But last night he quarreled with Shen Zhuyun because of some things, and today he went out to get drunk, he was so drunk that he forgot about it.

It was late at night, and the lights in Shen Zhuyun's room were all off.

But Song Zhuo knew that Shen Zhuyun hadn't slept yet—Song Zhuo always felt that Shen Zhuyun was struggling in his heart, and what he saw Shen Zhuyun was the result of that series of struggles.For example, Shen Zhuyun clearly liked him so much, but never said it clearly; For example, Shen Zhuyun clearly wanted him to come back, but he didn't come to him; For example, Shen Zhuyun was waiting for him, but he turned off the lights.

Song Zhuo vaguely noticed that Shen Zhuyun had expended a lot of effort to maintain such reserve and decency.

But this reservedness made Song Zhuo very uncomfortable.

It was as if the one with him was another Shen Zhuyun, not the third brother he had known since childhood.

If we know each other and love each other, shouldn't we hold back nothing?

Song Zhuo thought about it all the way, and walked to the door of Shen Zhuyun's room.

But in front of that door, he stopped again - without reservation... Can Shen Zhuyun bear anything without reservation?With Shen Zhuyun just like this now, he is almost suffocating...

He knocked on the door lightly, and without waiting for a response, pushed the door open and walked in.

Shen Zhuyun has already fallen asleep, I don't know if he is feigning sleep or not.Song Zhuo reeked of alcohol, and he didn't dare to get too close, so he moved a stool and sat down by the bed by the faint light from the window.

"Third Brother. I know you haven't slept yet." Song Zhuo said softly, "It was my fault that I forgot today's appointment. I apologize to you."

Shen Zhuyun closed his eyes and did not speak.

Song Zhuo said: "But it's not because I didn't take you seriously. If I really didn't care, I wouldn't care so much about your leg problems, I wouldn't ask that doctor, and I wouldn't bring you all the way to Dali. ——Did I tell you? I came here originally because of you, third brother. When I came back here, it was because of you, third brother."

Shen Zhuyun's eyelids moved, opened a crack, and looked at a figure in the darkness.

Song Zhuo was sincere in every word, but Shen Zhuyun asked coldly, as if being stabbed by these words, "Is it for me, or for your third brother?"

Song Zhuo was dumbfounded by the question and was speechless for a moment.

I was also stunned when I heard it beside me. I seem to have been asked this kind of outrageous question at some point—it’s really outrageous. What kind of paranoid is Shen Zhuyun in his heart to call the "third brother" The identity was separated from him, forcing Song Zhuo to make a choice.

All the feelings between them are built on the long-term brotherhood, throwing away this heavy identity, all the feelings are castles in the air.He didn't want to think about it, if Song Zhuo wasn't his "Zhuo brother", would he still be in love with him?

If I were Song Zhuo, I would scold him like this to wake him up.

But Song Zhuo was too stupid, Shen Zhuyun couldn't answer the questions thrown by him, and silence would only make things worse, so Song Zhuo could only continue to say the original words: "You didn't allow me to escort that batch of goods yesterday. Went to drink some wine. If anyone knows, forget it."

After hearing this, Shen Zhuyun asked: "After Yanqing was with me, did you feel more uncomfortable and less happy?"

Song Zhuo raised his head, subconsciously wanting to deny it, but hesitated again, and finally said: "I just think that third brother seems to be a different person."

Shen Zhuyun laughed softly in the shadows, and Song Zhuo was startled by the laughter, and hurriedly made up for it: "Maybe I have changed. Third brother, we have been in Dali for almost five years, how can we still be the same as before?" How about that? But no matter what, the third brother will always be my third brother."

Shen Zhuyun said: "Don't talk about it. Go and wash it quickly. It's late at night."

Song Zhuo stood up embarrassingly, and asked, "After I take a bath, do I still come to third brother's room?"

Shen Zhuyun said, "Do you want to come?"

Song Zhuo said, "I'm afraid that your leg will hurt in the middle of the night and you won't be able to bear it."

After hearing this, Shen Zhuyun sighed long - not because he wanted to be with him, but because he was concerned about his problems.

"Come whenever you want."

Song Zhuo guessed right, Shen Zhuyun was indeed struggling with his instinct all the time, what was his instinct?His instinct is a beast, that beast wants to imprison Song Zhuo, wants him not to call him third brother, wants him to only see himself, wants to mark every inch of his skin with its sharp teeth , wanting to devour him, wanting to be one with him.

Even Shen Zhuyun felt that such a hideous and terrifying self, could Song Zhuo bear even a ten-thousandth of it?

Shen Zhuyun was quick-witted, and his business grew bigger and bigger. Almost every half a month, the Shen family's caravan departed from various counties in Dali, but Song Zhuo was imprisoned in Shicheng County by him, and he never got permission from Shen Zhuyun to leave the city. .It's not that he never thought of secretly following the caravan, but he was discovered by Shen Zhuyun once, and the reaction of that person really frightened Song Zhuo. It was the first time Song Zhuo knew that his gentle and elegant third brother There is another side.

On the night when he was discovered, Song Zhuo was pressed on the bed by Shen Zhuyun all night. Shen Zhuyun was weak and took medicine three times.Song Zhuo was afraid that he would hurt his body, so he pulled out his obscene tools in the confusion and begged him not to take the medicine, but Shen Zhuyun became even more angry.The next day he watched Shen Zhuyun cut off a lock of hair with a pair of shiny silver scissors, held it in his hand, and threatened him in a hoarse voice: "Yanqing, do you still want third brother's blood and third brother's flesh? "

Shen Zhuyun's face was pale at that time, but there was a sharp light in his eyes, Song Zhuo was afraid - not because he was afraid that he would be punished, but because Shen Zhuyun would really cut off his own flesh with a knife.

He knew that Shen Zhuyun always kept what he said.

So Song Zhuo stayed in Shicheng County.He slept with Shen Zhuyun on the same pillow every day, but the fear of Shen Zhuyun in his heart became stronger day by day.

One day, his depression finally found an outlet—Song Zhuo made a friend with a similar temperament in Shicheng County.

The young man came here from Shao country, and he wanted to stay in Shicheng County for a while to experience the customs and customs of this place.He picked up a purse dropped by Song Zhuo on the street, and the two got acquainted.Song Zhuo knew his purpose of coming here, so he took him to wander around Shicheng County every day, got along with him for a long time, and couldn't help but began to express his distress.

The young man was very understanding, Song Zhuo raised his head obliquely, and he hit the nail on the head, saying that Song Zhuo nodded frequently, feeling like he hated seeing each other late.

The young man said with a smile: "Listen to what Brother Song said, you used to be a free and unrestrained person, but now you are trapped here, you have many difficulties. In fact, from a certain point of view, the so-called difficulties are just a lack of courage in the final analysis. Everything is miscellaneous, if you don’t bring it with you in life, if you don’t take it with you in death, you just throw it away, so what’s so difficult about taking this step forward?”,

I looked at the young man who was walking beside Song Zhuo and said this with a smile, and I suspected that I had misjudged my eyes—these eyes, these eyebrows, this nose, this mouth, who is it if it is not Lan Shu?

I was stunned for a moment - what's going on, why is there something about Lan Shu?

But I didn't have time to think, and I didn't have time to explore. The things in front of me had already taken a turn for the worse.

The two traveled around Shicheng County for half a month, and Song Zhuo was completely moved by Lan Shu's words.He began to prepare for his escape in private, and Shen Zhuyun over there also noticed the young man beside Song Zhuo.After Song Zhuo didn't return all night, Shen Zhuyun used his friendship with Shicheng County Sheriff to arrest Lan Shu.

In the dungeon, Shen Zhuyun asked him in a cold voice what was his relationship with Song Zhuo.

Lan Shu seemed to have expected all of this and had no fear of being in prison. He smiled at Shen Zhuyun and said, "Mr. Shen, it's not enough to imprison Song Yanqing. Do you want to imprison me now? I really didn't expect you to be able to do it." With such treatment."

Shen Zhuyun asked: "What did you tell him?"

Lan Shu shook his head and said, "Compared to this, Mr. Shen should be more interested in knowing what he told me."

Shen Zhuyun remained silent with a cold face.

Lan Shu got up, walked out, and looked at him through the cell door.

"Song Yanqing said, he's had enough of you."

Seeing Shen Zhuyun being stabbed at the sore spot, he immediately frowned, and Lan Shu also frowned imperceptibly.

But then he smiled again and said: "He also said that he wants to go. He wants to go with me."

Shen Zhuyun looked at him wordlessly for a long time, as if trying to restore what Song Zhuo's rambling mouth said behind these two short sentences.Had enough of him?He is leaving?Song Zhuo wouldn't say that, Song Zhuo was always soft-hearted towards him, he couldn't even bear to use the word "too", he would only say "Third brother, is it too much?" .” It will only say, “Third brother, I want to go out for a walk, and I will come back when I go.”

Shen Zhuyun finally looked at the young man and said, "I won't let him go."

He wobbled as he turned—he'd cut it, but was he sure?

Suddenly there were footsteps in the distance, Shen Zhuyun raised his eyes, and saw a dazzling white light at the end of the dark corridor of the dungeon, a distant figure in the white light, that figure ran towards him, vaguely like the rainy man many years ago. In Chun Zhou, he was running in a hurry, tripped, the kite in his hand broke its wings, and cried to him, "Third brother, I fell—"

But this figure ran up to him, not the little Song Zhuo, but a grown Song Zhuo, this Song Zhuo looked at the people in the cell, then at himself, staring at him with unfamiliar and angry eyes , Asked: "What did Lan Shu do, you want to arrest him?"

Shen Zhuyun felt an inexplicable pain in his chest, and a fishy sweet taste in his throat.

This Song Zhuo didn't wait for his answer, and a little bit of disbelief gradually appeared in his eyes.

He looked at him, taking a step back, looking confused, hesitant, and terrified.

He asked, "Third brother, are you... still my third brother?"