Banshuharu

The whole family is reunited tonight, looking out of the window, there are thousands of lights and shadows of people.

Ping Qiu still remembers that in his second year of junior high school, Ping Qinghong did not return home until seven o'clock at night due to work reasons.Xu Ruiyang called and invited Pingqiu to come to his house. There are a lot of relatives and children in their house, and the whole family is noisy.

At first, Pingqiu didn't want to go, but the house was empty, and even the New Year's Eve dinner was only prepared with the leftovers he had reheated. He walked on the road hesitantly, surrounded by the sound of firecrackers and children's laughter. Walk and walk, the pace slows down.

Just as he was discouraged and was about to turn around and go home, someone in front called him.Xu Xiuyuan, who was still in elementary school at the time, trotted over to him, asked him why he walked so slowly, and then took his hand, as if to take him to a lively new world.

Xu Xiangnan opened the door for them, stroked Pingqiu's overturned collar, sighed for him with compassion in his eyes, then handed Pingqiu a pair of bowls and chopsticks, asking him to sit in the middle of the dining table.At that time Xu Ruiyang was wrapped around his thigh by two radish heads, when he saw Ping Qiu, he grinned at him, turned around and patted Xu Xiuyuan on the head, and praised him for doing a good job this time.

Xu Xiuyuan hated his touch, turned around, and sat next to Pingqiu with his share of bowls and chopsticks.He didn't seem to see Pingqiu's cramped fists, and asked him to help him fill a bowl of dumplings not far away.

There is no turntable on the dining table, so if you want to add food, you have to stand up and reach out to get it.Ping Qiu realized that all eyes on the table seemed to be focused on the face of this foreigner with a different surname, and he couldn't help being extremely nervous, almost knocking down his glass of orange juice.Xu Xiuyuan took the ceramic bowl full of dumplings, Pingqiu said thank you, and then pushed the bowl in front of Pingqiu.

After dinner, Pingqiu was invited by Xu Xiuyuan to go upstairs to check his winter homework.Xu Ruiyang refused to let Pingqiu go, and satirized Xu Xiuyuan as being prudish, and insisted on choosing a time when his relatives were at home to pretend to be eager to learn.

At that time, Xu Xiuyuan was already very smart in his work, he was like a little adult, pulling Pingqiu to stand on the stairs, looking down at Xu Ruiyang who was holding a lot of fireworks sticks, and he didn't speak, until Fang Haichang found out that the two brothers seemed to be inexplicably talking again Dispute, after hearing the inside story, he told Xu Ruiyang to stop messing around. A bunch of relatives and children in the family love to hang around him, so don't be a bad example today.Since Xu Xiuyuan was bored and wanted Pingqiu to help him with his homework, it was no big deal.

Asking Pingqiu's opinion, Pingqiu's eyes switched between Xu Xiuyuan and Xu Ruiyang's repeatedly. He was hesitant at first, but when he saw a group of children running towards Xu Ruiyang, he finally let go and was dragged to his room by Xu Xiuyuan.Thus, Pingqiu finally had an excuse to escape from the shame of being out of place and gain a chance to breathe.

Before leaving, Xu Xiangnan asked Fang Haichang to wrap Pingqiu with a thick red envelope as lucky money.Pingqiu refused to take it, Fang Haichang directly stuffed the red envelope into his coat pocket, and persuaded him not to feel ashamed of receiving it with a smile.

Going home with a pocket of lucky money, Ping Qiu was always anxious. While thinking about whether he should tell Ping Qinghong, he was also afraid that it would be dark and the road would be long. I can't afford to pay back the money as it is, so I can only stuff both hands in my pockets, so that I can hold the bulging red envelope at any time.

Fortunately, soon, he didn't have to be so frightened anymore. Xu Xiuyuan ran out with him at some point, and followed him quietly until Pingqiu was delivered safely to his house. In the palm of Pingqiu.

Pingqiu was taller than him at that time, lowered his head, picked out two roundest longan from the palm of his hand, returned them to Xu Xiuyuan, thanked him, and praised him for doing his homework well, he had checked his winter homework He and the teacher arranged several Olympiad questions separately, and even Pingqiu couldn't understand some of the questions.

He was worrying about whether it would be dangerous for Xu Xiuyuan to go back alone, but Xu Xiuyuan actually sat down directly at the door of Pingqiu's house.

Xu Xiuyuan was wearing the new coat that Xu Xiangnan bought for him during the Chinese New Year. He didn't think it was dirty, so he sat on the floor, then peeled off the two longan eyes, and handed them to Pingqiu with his head up.Pingqiu shook his head, I didn't eat what I told you, and Xu Xiuyuan didn't force it, instead he fed it to himself, and then took out a bunch of snacks from his trouser pocket.

I don't even know how he hides so many things in such shallow pockets.Ping Qiu sat down next to him, one big and one small sat in front of the house.Pingqiu peeled the longan for Xu Xiuyuan, and Xu Xiuyuan peeled the prunes for him.

Firecrackers sounded behind the bamboo forest, and they ran to the wall, looking up at the fireworks.There were a few bang bang bang bangs, and it seemed like colorful rain was falling from the sky.Pingqiu opened his mouth to watch intently, but suddenly his hand was pulled, and when he lowered his head, Xu Xiuyuan handed the last longan to his mouth.

The time of ecstasy has been long enough, Chu Tiwei changed from glancing at Pingqiu from time to time to staring at him directly, even the nervous Chen Xiaoyi realized that something was wrong, turned down the volume of the TV, and asked Pingqiu if this call was right? There is something urgent.

"No, it's nothing." Pingqiu came back to his senses, and put the phone on the sofa on silent, "Let's eat, I'm hungry."

"If you don't come here again, I'm going to eat this table." Chen Xiaoyi didn't care, instead she pulled Pingqiu to show him the male star who sang and danced on TV, and pointed to a certain costume idol movie he starred in. The drama is currently on the air, and I asked Ping Qiu and Chu Tiwei if they had watched it.

Chu Tiwei is not interested in men, and idol dramas are not in her range of appreciation, of course there is none.As for Ping Qiu, he doesn't know much about the popular TV dramas nowadays, he just vaguely thinks that male star looks familiar, but he has no impression of his name and the TV dramas he starred in.

As if startled by the behavior of the two of them wandering outside the trend, Chen Xiaoyi was sucking the beef ribs, while introducing various male and female stars on TV to the two on the table, and changing channels from time to time to watch the evening parties of other satellite TV channels, It seems that as long as the celebrities who have shown their faces are familiar with her like old friends.

The fingertips were stained with oily smell, and they were all the smell of burnt beef ribs. Chen Xiaoyi sucked two mouthfuls of her fingertips, and praised Pingqiu's cooking skills inarticulately. See Cheng Zinong on the Spring Festival Gala."

After she finished speaking, she regretted it. She blinked her eyes with her fingers in her mouth, paused for two seconds, and quickly changed the subject: "Boss, how do you fry your beef ribs? They are very delicious."

Pingqiu changed the can of eight-treasure rice in front of him to Chu Tiwei's, because she found that she always stretched out her chopsticks to pick it up, and then replied to Chen Xiaoyi: "It's very simple, do you want to learn?"

"Think, you teach me?"

"Yes, as long as you want to learn," Ping Qiu said again, "Why didn't you say what you said before? Who is this now, she is very beautiful."

Sure enough, Chen Xiaoyi's attention was attracted, and he no longer cared about whether he said something inappropriate just now.

There was her chattering at the dinner table, and Pingqiu sometimes responded, but she was actually a little absent-minded.When he stuck his chopsticks into the hollowed white rice again, Chu Tiwei suddenly blocked his wrist with the other end of the chopsticks.Ping Qiu raised his head and silently asked her what's wrong, Chu Tiwei didn't speak, just stared at Ping Qiu, until Ping Qiu felt a little guilty, and lowered his head on his own initiative.

After dinner, Chen Xiaoyi helped to clear the dining table, Pingqiu instructed her to throw all the bowls and chopsticks into the sink, and then asked her to wash the fruits in the refrigerator and put them into porcelain bowls, then let her go out, and he took care of the rest .

Staying at his house on New Year's Eve, eating the food he cooked, and not being allowed to wash the dishes, Chen Xiaoyi felt embarrassed and felt like sitting on pins and needles in the living room.Seeing that Chu Tiwei was sitting beside her with an old god, her face was calm, and she asked in a low voice: "I don't help here, is it bad? It feels impolite."

"No." Chu Ti shook her head slightly.

"Otherwise, I'll help him. It's good to clean a bowl." After saying that, Chen Xiaoyi was about to stand up, but was stopped by Chu Tiwei.

"Don't go," Chu Tiwei said, "He likes to be busy and doesn't think wildly."

Knowing little about her words, Chen Xiaoyi hesitated for a moment, but sat back in her original seat: "Sister, have you known my boss for a long time?"

"Fortunately."

"No wonder you know him so well."

"Is it hard to guess?" Chu Tiwei thought about it carefully, then shook his head, "It's not hard to guess."

"..."

The idea of ​​chatting was completely killed, Chen Xiaoyi shrank her shoulders and stopped talking, and stuffed an orange into her mouth with one hand.On TV, the host was talking auspicious words at the top of his voice. Chen Xiaoyi thought it was a cliché. He suddenly heard the sound of a broken bowl, but before he could respond, Chu Tiwei quickly got up and flashed into the kitchen. She followed closely behind. Ping Qiu is squatting to pick up broken porcelain pieces.

"My hand slipped just now," Ping Qiu said with an apologetic expression, "Did I bother you?"

"Sui Sui is safe, Su Sui is safe." Chen Xiaoyi muttered twice, asking Ping Qiu where he put the broom for cleaning.

Ping Qiu pointed out the direction for her, and wanted to bend down to pick up the pieces, but Chu Tiwei grabbed her arms and dragged her directly to the living room, where she was pressed in front of the sofa and kicked on the shin.He rubbed the kicked part and complained, "It hurts."

"Sit still." Chu Tiwei ordered him.

Listen to what you should listen to, Ping Qiu sat down obediently, took out two tissues to wrap his bloody fingers.Fortunately, the cut was very shallow, and after a while, the blood had already congealed, and Chen Xiaoyi also finished dealing with the mess on the kitchen floor, and she fell onto the sofa screaming, next to Pingqiu's left arm, to see his injured finger.

"It's ready," Ping Qiu showed her his fingers, "It's just a scratch."

"You should be more serious in your work, don't think about anything else." The words that are usually used to describe Chen Xiaoyi, this time let her use them to teach Pingqiu a decent lesson.

Chu Tiwei took out two bags of beef jerky from the suitcase and dumped them all on the coffee table. Hearing Chen Xiaoyi's words of education, he nodded in agreement.

It just so happened that the latest skit program was broadcast on TV, which told the story between the traffic police and the driver during the Spring Festival travel season.

Most of the previous programs were long and boring, and it was rare to have a skit. Chen Xiaoyi was amused and laughed, and finally sighed: "I'm really right. Traffic accidents are easy to happen at this time. I originally planned to rent a bus to go home, but My father won't let me, because I'm afraid that something will happen to me on the way home alone, and it won't be safe."

"Yes." Ping Qiu responded.

"I heard people say," Chen Xiaoyi swallowed a piece of orange, "There is an uncle near my house. He was a guest during the Chinese New Year. On the way home, he accidentally bumped into someone, seriously injured him, and was found out for drunk driving. He paid a lot of money." A lot of money, people are also detained. It is not safe to walk on the road now, either you may be robbed of money, or you may be hit by a car, who can say for sure, maybe..."

Before she finished speaking, Chen Xiaoyi took a moment to look at Pingqiu's figure and shouted, "Boss, where are you going?"

Pingqiu walked quickly to the entrance, and casually picked up the coat hanging on the shelf, before he had time to explain, he just said: "I'm going out for a while, I have some things to do."

"What's the matter?" Chu Ti asked slightly.

"Come back and talk about it."

"scarf."

"Oh." Ping Qiu casually rolled up the scarf in his arms, opened the door while arranging his clothes, and ran down in a hurry without saying a word.

The outdoor temperature was close to below zero, Ping Qiu didn't even fasten his coat buttons, so he trotted downstairs to take a walk around the house, even the dark corridors were spared, but he found nothing.

He took out the phone from his pocket, his fingers were still warm, and he made some noises when he tapped the screen.After dialing the number and putting it to my ear, there was a burst of beeps, and after a while, I hung up automatically because no one answered. The disappearing tail sound was more quiet and long in the dark winter night.

Letting out his breath, Pingqiu ran towards Maoha Living Hall, and at the same time dialed Xu Xiuyuan's phone again, but like the previous time, no one answered.

There were few people around the shop, Ping Qiu trotted around the whole street, especially the road that Xu Xiuyuan walked the last time, he ran all the way to the subway entrance, almost turned the whole street upside down, but still did not see Xu Xiuyuan .

Ping Qiu calmed down and recalled any place where Xu Xiuyuan had appeared - the bottom of the house, near the shop, the subway station, and alleys and squares.

He turned around and rushed to the alley he saw at the window of the stairs on New Year's Eve, found the electric pole, walked all the way along the alley, and went in to have a look at all the alleys that branched in the middle.Occasionally bump into a few children wearing earmuffs and gloves playing games in the corner, throwing cannons on the ground, pointing at the startled passers-by who were caught off guard and laughing, if the other person's expression is wrong, they will turn around and run away .The alley here is the place where they grew up, they are very familiar with it, and they ran away without a trace in two steps, making Pingqiu want to grab a child to ask if he has seen a face-to-face brother here, but there is no way.

There was no one to be found in the alley, so Pingqiu had no choice but to turn around and go to the square.When he got on the subway, his legs, feet and fingers were already frozen stiff.He put his hand to his face to keep him warm, but he was shivering from the cold.

It's time to eat New Year's Eve dinner and watch the Spring Festival Gala, and the subway does not have the usual passenger flow.Pingqiu leaned on one side of the pole and dialed Xu Xiuyuan's phone again.Unsurprisingly, it was unable to connect again.He switched to texting Xu Xiuyuan, but he couldn't press down with his finger hanging above the screen, as if he had a thousand words to say, and when he really wanted to say it, he didn't know where to start.

In the end, Pingqiu only typed a short question: Where are you?

When I got off the subway, I was faced with a cold wind.He stood still, took out his mobile phone, and added: Can you call me back?

Later, Ping Qiu searched the square and the surrounding streets, but still did not find any trace that Xu Xiuyuan might have been here.

He was gradually exhausted, so he sat down on the bench in the middle of the square.Slowly rubbing his hands that were frozen stiff, Pingqiu finally remembered that before looking for someone, he should first ascertain any clues about Xu Xiuyuan.

Hastily dug out Xu Xiuyuan's account, Ping Qiu clicked into his circle of friends, but found no information, but saw that he had deleted all the previous content.Xu Xiuyuan didn't leave any information for anyone to find him.

Walking and running all the way, Pingqiu was so tired that his chest felt tight, and his ears felt a little tingling after being exposed to the cold wind for a long time.He sat for a while, and when he got up, there was a sightseeing car with colorful lights hanging in front of him, whining and rushing here.A staff member at the front of the car signaled him to back away, it turned out that Ping Qiu blocked their way.Ping Qiu obediently retreated back to the bench, the little train passed him by, and the couples of parents with their children were all smiling.It wasn't until the tails of their cars disappeared at the coordinates of the square that Ping Qiu got up and walked slowly on the way home.

Walking down the steps, the subway station is close in front of him, but he suddenly stops, thinking: the last time, if he is not there, there will be no other possibilities, and I will not look for it again, this is the last time.

Then, he strode into the subway station.

At the beginning when he decided to come back, it was not that Pingqiu had thought about renting back the original house.Although the place is a bit remote, the rent is very reasonable, and Pingqiu has rented a house here since he graduated from university, and he has lived here for several years, so it is inevitable that he has feelings, so he does not want to spend time getting used to a new address.

But maybe it was fate, when he retrieved the contact information of the landlady, she said that the house was only rented out a week ago, and he came at an inappropriate time.In fact, there were tenants who rented a house before, a young couple who looked very decent, but when she went to collect the house after the expiration date, she was so angry at the mess at home that she almost wanted to sue the tenants in court.In the end, the old lady praised Pingqiu's hard work in turn. I rented the house to him for a few years without any problems. When I checked out, it was clean and tidy. The new tenants were also very satisfied with his layout, so they didn't move Move, just pack your bags and move in.

The dream of renting back the old house came to nothing, and Pingqiu found a rented house with decent conditions, which is the current residence.As for this old house, due to the change of work address and Pingqiu's intention not to remember the memories, he hasn't been here for a long time.

Crossing the pedestrian crossing, turning around the intersection, and walking along the side of the road covered with finely shredded red paper, Pingqiu's pace gradually slowed down.There is a newly-married person living in the front building, and there are several red and pink hydrogen balloons hanging on the tree. One of them floated to the tree living in the back building for some reason, and its tether was wrapped around a lower branch. On Xu Xiuyuan's shoulder.

Ping Qiu walked closer and stood in front of Xu Xiuyuan.He knew that Xu Xiuyuan had seen it, although he was looking at the toe of his shoe, but Ping Qiu was sure that he must know.

At this time, a burst of laughter suddenly erupted upstairs, obviously the voices of children, because only they can make such sharp laughter that can be called noise.

Xu Xiuyuan never raised his head, his legs were tight, and his hands were tucked under his legs as if warming up. Perhaps this posture made it difficult for him to raise his head high, and even his back was slightly slumped, but the thin coat did not Consensus, but raised up instead, so the cold wind penetrated into his back smoothly, and there was only a long-sleeved bottoming shirt inside, which was so thin that it didn't seem to exist at all.

The cold might be contagious, Pingqiu couldn't help feeling his teeth sour, but Xu Xiuyuan seemed to have lost his ability to distinguish between hot and cold, he didn't care, and even shook his legs like a child who was too small to kick the ground .He swayed very slowly, his body swayed from side to side, until his calf was blocked by Ping Qiu's extended foot, and he stopped moving.

After a long while, Xu Xiuyuan was finally willing to look up at Pingqiu.They looked at each other and looked deeply into each other's eyes, but still no one spoke.Suddenly, Xu Xiuyuan showed a look similar to embarrassment, and smiled at Pingqiu, then he stood up, patted his trousers covered with mud, smoothed his coat, and walked in front first.

Ping Qiu followed behind him after a moment of resistance.

Following Xu Xiuyuan back to the convenient hotel last time, Pingqiu was a little stunned. He couldn't tell if he regretted that he had gone around in circles in the middle of the night and forgot to step on this site, or he was surprised that Xu Xiuyuan chose to stay so close to him these two days. position, but never came to see him, and he himself did not find out.

The person sitting at the front desk tonight is no longer the old grandpa or his little grandson, but a middle-aged man with a strong physique, holding a few pieces of gold cakes to make ends meet, seeing a visitor, he put down his chopsticks on purpose, and rushed to Pingqiu and Xu Xiuyuan Smile and say Happy New Year.

Ping Qiu stepped into this elevator again, the rusty parts were still screaming, he leaned against the corner, leaning on the wall with his hands, motionless like a sculpture.Xu Xiuyuan stood in front of him.He stood up straight, with his hands hanging by his trousers, Ping Qiu had no time to take a closer look at the strange protrusions on the back of his hands.The elevator suddenly rang and reached the floor.

But when he saw the familiar room number, Ping Qiu suddenly didn't want to go in.

He stood at the door, watching Xu Xiuyuan stand silently by the bed, and began to take off his clothes without even turning on the heat of the air conditioner, Pingqiu suddenly felt a surge of disgust, aimed at Xu Xiuyuan's silent behavior from beginning to end.Especially Xu Xiuyuan's all evil was directed at him, which caused Ping Qiu to feel a burst of intense hatred.

He has always been in a stable mood, this is the first time he was so angry that he trembled all over his body, and everything in front of his eyes shook wildly as if being shaken by someone forcefully, making Pingqiu rush into the door as if he was a puppet with its hands and feet hanging. He touched Xu Xiuyuan's eyes, and then slapped him with all his strength.

The crisp sound was like a thunderbolt hitting the back of Pingqiu's neck, shaking everything to be straightened in an instant.He was astonished by what he had done, his palms were still numb, and it took him a long time to make a sound: "When will you be a real adult and stop worrying people all the time? Is it difficult? Being an adult is very difficult." Is it difficult? Xu Xiuyuan, let me ask you, is it difficult?"

Xu Xiuyuan's face was still turned to one side.He took off his coat and sweater, and what was left was only a thin bottoming shirt, and the sleeves seemed to be a little short, hanging over his wrist bones, revealing the backs of his hands that were purple from the cold, where there were two or three Bruised pinholes.

Stuck in his throat by an invisible hand, Ping Qiu seemed to be having trouble breathing.He numbly spat out evil words: "Who are you pretending to look at here, who are you pretending to be pitiful for? Give it to me? Don't be so hypocritical, don't you hate me, don't you hate me, then what are you doing now? Does teasing me again and again make you feel very proud? Or is this a new trick you came up with to torture me? Tell me, why don't you talk... tell me."

After speaking, Xu Xiuyuan was finally willing to turn his head and look at Pingqiu.

Just when Ping Qiu thought he was about to fight back, Xu Xiuyuan's face suddenly fell down.He held Pingqiu's cheeks with both hands, and pressed his lips quickly and accurately, while his tongue protruded straight in.

The sudden brute force made Ping Qiu unable to breathe for nearly three to five seconds.Until Pingqiu felt a sharp pain from the tip of his tongue, before Pingqiu could struggle, Xu Xiuyuan let go of his tongue in the next second, and bit his lower lip instead.

It's not a kiss, it's more like an angry bite.Shocked and in pain, Pingqiu pushed hard against Xu Xiuyuan's chest, and when he finally let go, he hurriedly backed away, scolding him as an asshole in a trembling voice.

There was blood on Pingqiu's lips, he wiped it with the back of his hand carelessly, now he dared not approach Xu Xiuyuan even more.

"I have nothing to say." Xu Xiuyuan rubbed his lips red. At this moment, his eyelashes blinked slightly, and his tone of voice sank. He bent down and picked up the remote control at the end of the bed to adjust the temperature of the air conditioner.

After finishing, he picked up his coat and sweater, ready to put them on the bed, then sat down on the edge of the bed, and said hoarsely after a while: "I saw him, he is the one you told me last time? He told you Okay? I don’t think so, and you don’t love him, so you won’t be able to make it to the end.”

"How do you know?" Ping Qiu pressed against the wall and asked maliciously, "You obviously don't know anything."

"Then tell me, will you love him?"

"It's none of your business."

"That is not to love."

"I said, this has nothing to do with you."

As if overwhelmed by Pingqiu's coldness, Xu Xiuyuan stared straight ahead at a point in the void, lowered his head, wiped his eyes with his fingers, and said after a long time: "I have no other intention, just want to get closer to you. I won't To bother you, if you hate me, I'm afraid you hate me even more. Chinese New Year is a good time, I won't make you uncomfortable, you can rest assured. "

"..."

"I don't want to force you anymore. I don't know where you heard that I'm here. If you don't want to see me, you can pretend that we haven't met. I will leave in two days and only stay for a few days .”

"You should go home during the Chinese New Year, why don't you go back?"

"I told my mom that I'm busy with work."

"is it?"

"I stayed at home for two months last summer, and they all thought I was burdensome and said I might as well go to work right away. So it doesn't matter."

"is it?"

"Anyway, it's just a one-year celebration. It's no big deal. It's fine to go back next year."

"..."

"Really," Xu Xiuyuan said, turning his head, and even nodded emphatically, "Really."

Tears slipped into his lips, and Ping Qiu realized that he was actually crying.He roughly wiped away his tears, wiped the tears all over his face, and said hardened his heart: "It's up to you. Your business has nothing to do with me. If you want to go home, you can go home. If you don't want to, you can't. your freedom."

After speaking, he walked towards the door.As soon as he put his hand on the door frame, he heard Xu Xiuyuan say, "You haven't answered me yet, is he treating you well?"

"I answered it," Ping Qiu insisted, "it has nothing to do with you."

"But I want to know."

"Okay, very good, we are like-minded, and we got along very well. He teaches piano and is very strict with students, but he is also very tolerant. He has a good temper. He heard that I know nothing about music, and he is willing to teach me patiently. I have never touched him since I was a child. I have never heard of any musical instrument, not to mention the melodious organ," Ping Qiu turned around abruptly, facing Xu Xiuyuan's eyes fixed on his back.

His throat choked, and he paused for nearly two seconds before continuing: "You are different from me, you have a family that can give you anything you want, your parents need you, your classmates and friends need you, as long as you want , you can have many different choices. Then why do you pester me? Does teasing me make you feel happy, or does it make you feel fulfilled to see me being played around by you? I don’t want to play anymore, you Do you understand, I don't want to play at all!"

While speaking, Pingqiu's vision was hazy, and he could only vaguely judge that there seemed to be a phantom approaching.After his shoulders were grabbed, Xu Xiuyuan clasped him tightly, and Ping Qiu was nearly suffocated by his embrace, so he struggled madly, hitting his neck or face alternately with both hands, but Xu Xiuyuan didn't let go.

"Let go! Don't touch me!" Pingqiu cried loudly, "Let go, let go!"

However, Xu Xiuyuan did not let go, but hugged Pingqiu even tighter.He put one arm around Pingqiu's back shoulder, and the other hand around Pingqiu's waist. The upper and lower shackles made Pingqiu seem to be completely surrounded in his arms.

Ping Qiu resisted his embrace, kept struggling and pushing, even kicked and kicked with his feet, desperately trying to break free from Xu Xiuyuan's control.But Xu Xiuyuan seemed to be nailed in place, he didn't speak, let alone let go, even though Pingqiu resisted in any way.

Finally, when Pingqiu's strength was exhausted and he was no longer able to struggle, he relaxed his hands and feet, allowing Xu Xiuyuan to hug him tightly, and they embraced in a strange posture.

Pingqiu stubbornly refused to approach Xu Xiuyuan, so he tilted his head back and muttered: "I really hate you."

"I know." Xu Xiuyuan said.

"Why do you always get me into trouble?...Can you stop playing with me?"

"I didn't play tricks on you."

"With you, I feel tired, you know that?"

"sorry."

"I don't want to see you, I really don't want to see you again, can you let me go?"

"I miss you, you know."

"But you have been hurting me," Pingqiu sobbed, "Go back, Xiuyuan, and have a good talk with your mother, she loves you very much, and will definitely forgive you. It's not too late, you have a chance Yes. Go back, Xu Xiuyuan."

"Don't push me away," Xu Xiuyuan buried his face in Pingqiu's neck, "Please."

"I don't want you to become like me, do you understand?"

"I know."

What Xu Xiuyuan knows, Xu Xiuyuan knows everything.He knew Ping Qiu's wish, he knew Ping Qiu's concern, he knew his duplicity, and he knew that he would quietly grab his clothes corner at this time, and the "go away" in his mouth was to beg him not to go.

Pingqiu needs him with a different heart, and this kind of need may have been traced when they were young. Compared with liking or love, Pingqiu may have some subtle envy and feelings for Xu Ruiyang. envy.He may be jealous that Xu Ruiyang has a pair of parents who dote on him, or he may be jealous that Xu Ruiyang has a brother and sister who can accompany him to grow up.

Even when he finds out that Xu Xiu is far more dependent on himself than his brother Xu Ruiyang, this feeling is like beating others on their strengths, Ping Qiu will feel an indescribable joy in his heart.He was grateful for Xu Xiuyuan's unique and unswerving choice, so much so that he wanted to repay it even more, to the point of pampering and pampering his younger brother, so from the very beginning he didn't resist Xu Xiuyuan's approach too much, as if it was A reward, more like a kind of gratitude.

Maybe things just went wrong from that moment on.

At the same time, Pingqiu's gratitude to Xu Xiuyuan and even the entire Xu family caused Xu Xiuyuan to develop a strange precocious love for him, and he expected Pingqiu to choose himself as he chose him.Since then, all relationships have been wrong, very wrong, and irreparable.

The tears were released, and it was difficult to control for a while.At this moment, reason gradually came back, embarrassment and shame fought in his head again, Pingqiu was at a loss.

Xu Xiuyuan led him to sit on the edge of the bed, squatted down again, tore off a wet towel placed on the bedside, then grabbed Pingqiu's hands and wiped them carefully, from the palms to the bases of the fingers, and then to the crevices of the fingers, he wiped very slowly ,very patient.

Pingqiu gradually quieted down, tears remained on his face, and when he made an expression, there was a tearing pain.He wanted to wipe his face with the hands he had just wiped off, but Xu Xiuyuan quickly stopped him. He tore a pack of wet wipes again, flattened them in the palm of his hand, and then gently pressed Pingqiu's cheeks to wipe away the tears for him.

Realizing that Pingqiu wanted to hide, Xu Xiuyuan held his knee with seemingly gentle but irresistible strength: "Let's just have a good talk like this, okay?"

"I thought we'd made that pretty clear."

"I want to hear your truth this time. I don't want you to lie to me, or to yourself. It may not be a big deal to lie once in a while, but this is about you and me. I'm in front of you. Can you Be honest with me?"

"..."

"Let's all be honest and stop lying, at least for now, okay?"

"...I have nothing with Huazhang." Pingqiu said, "I am indeed in contact with him, but we have agreed to be friends. And Cheng Zinong you saw last time, he is just my former student, now Work part-time in my shop. Nothing else."

"I haven't been home since New Year's Eve last year."

"why?"

"No reason."

"You said you were not going to lie."

"...I told my mother that I want to make my own decisions in the future, and I hope she can give me a chance. But obviously, she didn't agree. After all, she gave birth to me and is my mother. I can't sever ties with her, so I I'm fighting for my rights, at least the previous situation won't happen again," Xu Xiuyuan looked at Pingqiu, "I can't stand a second time."

"So you can't go home?"

"I promised her that I would pay her back a sum of money in the next few years as an exchange for my freedom. In fact, there is no difference, but it is just for peace on the surface. She is my mother, and I can't abandon her, but I don't I need to be controlled by her again, so I begged Yuan Feng to teach me how to take care of me. I need money, the more the better, I dare not stop."

"She loves you." Ping Qiu persuaded in a low voice.

"I know."

"If I were you, I wouldn't let her down."

"But you are not me," Xu Xiuyuan said, "she is not me either."

"If things can be solved in a more perfect way, I don't want you to achieve your goal with this idea of ​​regretting for life," Pingqiu said, "I hope you can have a happy family, and your parents and elder brother can be by your side. You will have more people who love you more, I don’t want to be your future sinner, do you understand?”

"I know."

"so……"

"I know what you want to say," Xu Xiuyuan interrupted, "I know that the reason for your choice is me, or someone else. But have you ever considered yourself? What do you want, what are you longing for? ?You will only push me out, hoping that you can push me back to their so-called right path with one ruthless heart. You think that many people will forgive me, and even more people will like me and love me, yes ?"

"Yes," Pingqiu said stubbornly, "with me, you can only face me alone. I can foresee our result, you will hate me, you will hate me, and you will blame me for not keeping up with you , This is not something I can achieve with hard work, chasing others is not a good job, I don't want to waste time."

"What I want is not a follower. You can choose your own rhythm. There is no need for any differences between us over this trivial matter."

"You can't guarantee it."

"Is it because I can't guarantee it, or you can't believe it? You don't even plan to give me a chance and sentence me on your own. Is this fair to me?"

"..."

"You will only push me back, thinking that you are leaving a way for me. Have you ever thought about it? How is it different from my mother when you do this?" As he spoke, Xu Xiuyuan curled his lips down, Like a child trying to hold back his sobs, he said, "Instead of expecting others to love me, why can't you? Why don't you love me? Do you want to see me die? See me go crazy because of being tortured by you. You won't believe that I really love you until you die, right?"

His chest was full of words, Ping Qiu couldn't say a word, so he could only keep shaking his head.

Xu Xiuyuan sighed, buried his face between Pingqiu's legs, and put his hands around Pingqiu's waist.He stopped calling himself: "Before I came here, I didn't close my eyes for almost three days. I couldn't sleep, so I just wanted to finish all the work, so I could come one day earlier