Between lines

Chen Tingbai felt that he was very tired just by moving recently, how could he have so much strength to push Xu Shaohua to the ground.Seeing Xu Shaohua sitting down on the ground and staring at him blankly, Chen Tingbai also felt a little uncomfortable.

Chen Tingbai didn't like being looked down upon by others, and he also didn't like looking down on others.

Between people, the best eye contact should be to look at each other.

He looked at Xu Shaohua calmly, neither sad nor angry, as if he was narrating a very common thing: "Xu Shaohua, in fact, you have always thought this way, and you have done it too. You don't apologize for that , it's not that important."

It seemed that at the moment when he was pushed out, the anger that had been stored in Chen Tingbai's chest for a long time became meaningless.All vented out in that angry pushing and shoving, now Chen Tingbai is like a deflated balloon, even his body is leaning back on the back of the wheelchair.

His left hand and two legs were still trembling slightly from the action just now.

But the voice had already spoken softly and lightly.

The teeth in the mouth seemed to be aching again.

"Xiao Cong, go home." Chen Tingbai no longer looked at Xu Shaohua who was on the ground, but turned his head and casually called Hu Cong to help him get in the car and go home.

Suddenly at this moment, Chen Tingbai would feel very sleepy, and wished that there was a bed where he could lie down and sleep.In the past, when Chen Tingbai was in good health, he would occasionally support himself from the wheelchair to the back seat of the car with his hands.He knows how to "fall" himself into the car with ingenuity, and Hu Cong will help him straighten his legs and help him sit up.But it's not going to work today, thinking with his toes today, he doesn't even have the energy and physical strength to support himself.

The wheelchair stopped in front of the car, and he quietly watched Hu Cong open the door to the maximum, then picked himself up and put him in the car.There seemed to be a line in his body. On this side of the line, he could clearly feel Hu Cong's arms hugging him tightly. On the other side of the line, he couldn't feel anything. He could only watch his legs swaying.

As soon as the car entered the community, Chen Tingbai saw that the lights in the house were still on.It's been like this recently, Teacher Lu will always wait for Chen Tingbai to come home, no matter how late it is.

At the beginning of the new semester, the class led by Ms. Lu has officially entered the countdown to the college entrance examination, and she herself is too busy to touch the ground.In previous years, my aunt would do all the housework and meals for the graduating class, and Teacher Lu only cared about the quality of teaching.However, at this juncture of this year, Chen Tingbai began to be unable to eat again. Teacher Lu gritted his teeth and took over the power of the spoon again.Just to make more food for Chen Tingbai that he likes to eat.

Chen Tingbai was picky about food, but he wasn't too picky about what to eat. Except for the few things he didn't eat, he would eat anything else as long as he could fill his stomach.Only a mother knows what her son likes to eat. It doesn't matter if she is tired, her son can't keep eating like this.

So no matter how late Chen Tingbai comes home, there will always be a pot of stewed food in the stew pot in the kitchen.

Hearing that the door was unlocked, Teacher Lu immediately sat up from the sofa and walked to the door to greet her: "My son is back, it's still early tonight. Have you eaten outside? No, are you hungry? Mom will give you some food today." Stewed tofu and crucian carp soup, drink some later."

While speaking, he squatted down to help Chen Tingbai take off his shoes. If Chen Tingbai's feet were stuffed in the shoes for a whole day, they would easily swell.Teacher Lu helped Chen Tingbai take off his socks on the way, and just squatted down and lowered his head to help him massage, kneading and rubbing.

Teacher Lu did it naturally, but Chen Tingbai was restless.what's the function?Even if the curled toes are stretched and flattened now, they will curl up again in a short while.As for the coldness, it is even more difficult to change, soaking in hot water will not make it much warmer, let alone the mother's kneading and kneading for a while.It's completely futile, so why do you have to squat down so hard every day to help yourself?

"Mom, don't do it. Just ask Hu Cong to put on the slippers for me." Chen Tingbai put his hand on Teacher Lu's shoulder and patted her lightly.

"Why are you bothering the kids with the slippers in my hands? Mom will put them on for you." Teacher Lu gently lifted Chen Tingbai's feet to put on the slippers. His feet drooped so much that he couldn't put on the slippers.Teacher Lu himself nailed a loose elastic band on the back with needle and thread, so that it can be firmly put on Chen Tingbai's feet.

She put Chen Tingbai's feet on the pedal, stood up and turned behind Chen Tingbai: ready to push Chen Tingbai to wash his hands and eat.Probably because of the sudden standing up, Mr. Lu was dizzy for a while, but fortunately he helped Chen Tingbai's wheelchair in time so that he didn't fall down.

She waited for a while before talking to Chen Tingbai again, "Come on, mom pushes you in to wash your hands and come out to drink some fish soup. Mom told you that today, mom went to the vegetable market to buy tofu and crucian carp during the lunch break of the students. It's fresh, fresher than the ones in the supermarket..."

But Chen Tingbai didn't want to drink any crucian carp soup at all. He felt a toothache just now at the door of Zili, and now it hurts even more.He just wanted to lie in bed and fall asleep.He was so tired today that he didn't even want to take a bath. Anyway, Hu Cong helped him take a bath, so it didn't make much difference to lie on the bed and let Hu Cong wipe it.

"Mom let Hu Cong drink it, I'm really tired and I want to sleep."

Teacher Lu had a dull pain in his head, and his temples kept throbbing.But she felt sorry for Chen Tingbai who hadn't eaten anything out of instinct, so she took a deep breath, and replied to Chen Tingbai kindly: "Listen to your mother, after drinking the soup, your stomach will be warm and you can take a shower." You can fall asleep after taking a bath. You just don’t eat enough and your stomach burns so you can’t fall asleep.”

"Mom, don't you know? Your son is paralyzed at a high position. Your son won't feel hungry, and he won't feel a burning sensation in his stomach at all! Your son only feels this way!" Chen Tingbai couldn't figure it out. What's the matter with everyone?Why is he delusional about knowing that he is paralyzed and what kind of perception does he have below the perception plane?

Teacher Lu didn't expect Chen Tingbai to be in such a bad mood, and his eyes blinked after being scolded by him for such an unknown fire, but he still felt that it was not an option to not eat: "The doctor said that he just didn't feel hungry..."

Chen Tingbai turned the wheelchair and walked forward a little, then turned the wheelchair and faced Teacher Lu: "The doctor said, the doctor said, the doctor said at the beginning that as long as I don't give up, I will definitely be better. Am I okay? ?! Ah? Am I f*ckingly paralyzed in a wheelchair like a puddle of mud? I am also a living person, I just don’t want to eat it! Can’t I?”

Teacher Lu’s dizziness has not yet subsided. It was okay to support Chen Tingbai’s wheelchair before, but suddenly there was nothing to support her, and she almost lost her footing. Cong's clothes did not fall down.

But Chen Tingbai didn't finish his sentence: "I'm just sleepy, can't I? I'm just tired, can't I? I don't want to! I don't want to be lifeless every day! I don't want to be paralyzed in a car accident! Are these things I can say no to? Is it wrong that I just want to sleep? Don’t you come to my room every night in the middle of the night to see if I’m asleep? Isn’t it just as you want me to sleep now? I don’t want to drink soup, so make me drink it every day and see how many sips I drink? I’m going to sleep, can you let me sleep!”

After speaking, he turned the wheelchair and entered the bedroom. He waited in the bedroom for a while, but before Hu Cong came in, he yelled again: "Hu Cong! Where are you!"

Teacher Lu was still holding on to Hu Cong's clothes tightly, closing his eyes and not daring to move.There seemed to be a blood vessel throbbing in her temple, and her heart was also beating violently, as if it was going to pop out of her mouth.

"Xiao Cong, you put me on the sofa and go in to see him quickly, he can't do it alone." Teacher Lu suppressed his nausea, opened his eyes and said to Hu Cong.

A quarrel exhausted Chen Tingbai's last bit of energy, he asked Hu Cong to help him change clothes, wipe his body, and then carried him to the bed, covered him with a quilt, and fell into a deep sleep.

It's more like falling asleep than being too tired and resting with your eyes closed. My mind is still a mess, and the things with Xu Shaohua flashed frame by frame like a marquee.

After an unknown amount of time, he woke up.He clamored to go to the study to read a book.

Recently, Hu Cong has gotten used to him like this, so Hu Cong helped him put a piece of clothing on his body, carried him on the wheelchair and pushed him out of the room.

The light in the living room was still on, and Teacher Lu was still wearing her cashmere shawl and sitting crookedly on the sofa.Not knowing if it was because the floor lamp was only on, Chen Tingbai looked at Teacher Lu from a distance and felt that her face was pale.

He turned the wheelchair to the edge of the sofa and gently pushed his mother: "Mom, go back to the room and sleep, it's too late."

With just such a light push, Teacher Lu fell on the sofa.

When Mr. Lu fell down, Chen Tingbai was stunned for a while, usually his mother would never sleep on the sofa, let alone the TV was not on.He moved closer and said, "Mom, go to bed and sleep, you will catch a cold if you sleep on the sofa like this."

Teacher Lu's hand was hanging down, stretched out of the sofa, and when Chen Tingbai approached, he touched his hand on the steel ring.

It's cold, it's icy cold.

It was just a momentary touch of fingertips, but a monstrous wave like a tsunami swept towards Chen Tingbai.His mind went blank, and the panic in his heart broke out at this moment.

Teacher Lu still lay down on the sofa quietly in a distorted posture.

Chen Tingbai has never been so scared for a moment like now, even his voice was trembling: "Mom...Mom...Xiao Cong, come and see my mother!" He had already stretched out his hand in front of Teacher Lu's face , and immediately retracted the moment he touched his breath, and turned his head to call Hu Cong over.

He really didn't have the courage to personally confirm whether his mother was still alive.

Hu Cong has never seen this kind of thing before, but contacting Mr. Lu's appearance when Chen Tingbai and Mr. Lu had a quarrel two or three hours ago, her eyes are closed now, so I can guess [-]% to [-]%.

Hu Cong trembled, stretched out his arms and probed under Teacher Lu's nose, and his heart sank.

In the past two or three hours, she didn't know when, she stopped breathing painfully and suddenly by herself.

Chen Tingbai's eyes widened, expecting Hu Cong to tell him he was fine, but Hu Cong just shook his head slightly.

"What do you know! Don't talk nonsense! My mother is only 54 years old!"

Chen Tingbai pushed Hu Cong away and scolded him loudly.He turned his head and pulled Teacher Lu's arm and shook it violently: "Mom, wake up, you get up and scold Hu Cong, he can't talk, don't be angry, as long as you wake up, I will kick him out, he talks nonsense."

"Mom, I was wrong. Mom, I will never speak loudly to you again. Wake up!" Chen Tingbai shook Teacher Lu's arm, but the people on the sofa didn't move at all, so he shook Teacher Lu's shoulder instead.

He swayed so much that Mr. Lu almost fell off the sofa, but fortunately Hu Cong held him up.Hu Cong said in a low voice: "Master, don't be like this, Auntie... is really gone..."

"Shut up! If you talk nonsense again, you'll get out!" Chen Tingbai seemed crazy, and couldn't listen to it at all.

Turning his head and calmed down again, he took Teacher Lu's hand and talked nicely as if coaxing: "Mom... you scared my son, so stop making trouble, okay? Wake up, okay? Wake up, okay?" Okay, look, your son doesn't wear slippers on his feet, and Hu Cong is too stupid to wear slippers for me, can you help me when you wake up, please."

The whisper in the throat has turned into a sob: "I beg you...wake up please...I beg you..."

Chen Tingbai almost put her whole body on Teacher Lu's body. Her limbs were already cold, but there was still a little bit of warmth in the place covered by the clothes, the last bit of temperature belonged to the world.

The last little bit, Chen Tingbai's familiar yet greedy temperature.

"Master, get up quickly. I'll take Auntie to the bed and change her clothes while..." Hu Cong was also crying.

Teacher Lu treated him very well. He had been in this house for so long, and Teacher Lu treated him like a young son.He really couldn't say that his body became stiff while Mr. Lu was still cold, but Mr. Lu left suddenly, and he absolutely couldn't let Mr. Lu leave just like that.

After all, who is to blame?Blame Chen Tingbai for having nowhere to vent his anger, or blame Mr. Lu for enduring the pain and thinking of his son.

Or maybe he should blame himself, he should have found out that Teacher Lu was uncomfortable at that time, he should have had the courage to tell Chen Tingbai to calm down, and then send Teacher Lu to the hospital in time.

But what's the use of saying this?

Hu Cong tried his best to straighten Chen Tingbai, then carried Mr. Lu into the room and put him on the bed.

When changing clothes, Hu Cong had another difficulty.Logically speaking, these things should be done by relatives, but Chen's father happened to be on a business trip in a neighboring city, and Hu Cong helped Chen Tingbai wear his own clothes, let alone change them for others.Hu Cong held his clothes and looked at Chen Tingbai, not knowing what to do.

Chen Tingbai stared blankly at Teacher Lu who was lying quietly on the bed, so quiet, it was no different from falling asleep as usual.He could even see Teacher Lu's chest rising and falling in a daze.

I didn't even dare to cry too loudly, for fear of disturbing my mother.

"You can change it."

Teacher Lu is usually in school most of the time, and her clothes are mainly clean and elegant.In the past, Teacher Lu was still a little fat, but since Chen Tingbai's accident, he has been working too hard for the past few years and lost weight.Now he looks thin and pale because of the stoppage of blood flow.Chen Tingbai couldn't bear to look away, watching Hu Cong help her take off her clothes one by one, and then put on brand new clothes.

"You help me pick up my mother, and I'll comb his hair." Because Mr. Lu had taken a bath before, his hair was still loose.Chen Tingbai turned the wheelchair to the dressing table, put the comb on his lap, and went to the bed.

Teacher Lu has a lot of hair. Chen Tingbai remembered that her mother had gray hair, but she had the habit of dyeing her hair.She is more frugal and doesn't want to go to a hairdresser to dye her hair. She buys hair dye and dyes it at home. Most of the time, her father will dye it for her, and occasionally Chen Tingbai will help her.Her hair is not long, but it is very soft, and it is very beautiful when you comb it lightly.

When Chen Tingbai was a child, he liked playing with his mother's hair the most. He would wrap her mother's hair round and round on her fingers, smile in her mother's arms and say to help her perm her head.Sometimes it is inevitable to hurt my mother, and Teacher Lu pretends to be angry and slaps her on the buttocks.

I didn't expect that when I fiddled with my mother's hair again, I was helping her tidy up her appearance.

Thinking of this, Chen Tingbai burst into tears again.

What did mom say at the end of the night?She said she fell asleep after drinking the soup.

Yes, my mother also stewed crucian carp soup, saying that it was a very fresh fish bought today.

Chen Tingbai asked Hu Cong to bring the stew pot and put it on the bedside table.He opened the lid of the stew pot, and the milky white soup appeared in front of Chen Tingbai.It has a slight layer of grease on it, but it can still be seen that it is warm.

"Mom, look, I'll listen to you. I'll drink all the fish soup right now." The hand holding the spoon was shaking all the time, and I couldn't scoop up the soup at all, and most of it was spilled before it reached my mouth.

He stopped, calmed himself down, and told himself that if the soup was spilled, it would be gone, and his mother would be upset, so he had to drink it all.It took a while to calm down, and then drink soup.

Mr. Lu’s habit is to fry the crucian carp first and then stew the soup. It tastes very rich and delicious.Chen Tingbai likes to drink it the most, and he can even eat all the tofu in it.

Chen Tingbai ate while crying, and was choked to cough several times.Most of the paralyzed patient has no strength in his body, and every time he coughs, he coughs hard and for a long time.

His whole body was shrunk together, and even his usually quiet and useless left hand was slightly raised and moved randomly on his chest a few times, as if he was doing something to help coughing and coughing more smoothly, but the left hand was originally It's weak, and the movements are more like the unconscious twitch of the body during a spasm, which has no effect at all.His face was flushed from suffocation, and the veins on his neck and temples were bulging.

It's really embarrassing, Chen Tingbai, who has been a gentleman all his life, still has such a day because of something to eat.

Hu Cong was afraid that Chen Tingbai's choking would affect his breathing, and it would be even more worthless if something happened again.While feeding Chen Tingbai water, he calmly said: "Don't eat, you can't eat while crying now, the fish soup is cold."

Chen Tingbai pushed Hu Cong away with his elbow, and continued to hunched over and ate the tofu and fish in the bowl, mouthful after mouthful, but couldn't stop: "What do you know! My mother made this of!"

This is what my mother made.

This was the last meal my mom would cook.